Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

No, I mean he hasn't been in any of the most recent games, like Sonic 4 and Sonic Colours. Which, having been (Sonic Colours especially) relatively well-received, would be the ones it'd make the most sense to base a movie off of, although it probably wouldn't be on a particular game's plot directly. I think I may have confused myself now, but I was basically trying to say that in the recent games Sonic Team/Sega/Whoever appears to have largely canned most of the characters. Even Knuckles hasn't been seen for a few games, though I think he'd be in a movie purely for the fact that they'd most likely have trouble writing a whole movie with just Sonic, Tails and Eggman.

Incidentally, there already is a Sonic movie. It's just kind of... not all that riveting.

Much as I liked Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, the rest of his movies are kind of lacking.

Just watch this...it's so painful...



I kinda feel sorry I'm a New Hampshirean like him. But I don't feel too bad, he seems to have forsaken us.

TheIan wrote:

Much as I liked Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, the rest of his movies are kind of lacking.

Just watch this...it's so painful...



I kinda feel sorry I'm a New Hampshirean like him. But I don't feel too bad, he seems to have forsaken us.

I find myself reminded of this:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

Yes there are...

OH DEAR GOD.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

Yes there are...

OH DEAR GOD.

Could someone please explain how this is so utterly and abhorrently awful, seeing how there's not one word spoken of the contents of such a movie? Somethin' 'bout babies and bathwater might be somewhat appropriate here.

We're the planeteers, you can be one too, 'cause saving the planet is the thing to do! Go Planet!

Hey, hey, I know! It's a conspiracy by the oil companies! They're so goddamn rich they can afford to deliberately make an awful film and put people off making more enviromentally aware films!

RAPIN' US FOR OUR MONEY BITCHES!!!!!!!!

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

A large corporation is concerned because going green is now the cool thing to do, so they've hatched a conspiracy to de-cool environmentalism using an awful cartoon from the early '90s. That's not a regular bad idea - that's evil genius.

Jay/Cris wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

Yes there are...

OH DEAR GOD.

Could someone please explain how this is so utterly and abhorrently awful, seeing how there's not one word spoken of the contents of such a movie? Somethin' 'bout babies and bathwater might be somewhat appropriate here.

We're the planeteers, you can be one too, 'cause saving the planet is the thing to do! Go Planet!

Hey, I'd see it! I was such a Captain Planet fangirl for a while. lol Way back when I was a budding fanatically self-righteous environmentalist...the problem is, what content? All of the plots were the same (just switch out the villain and the disaster), the characters were ridiculously two-dimensional, and there was little if any character development. It was a show about saving the environment, which could get pretty damn preachy if not handled well. They'll have to reinvent the entire story to make it commercially viable--forget about making it live-action. Not saying that this movie is a sure failure, but I'm pretty skeptical...

But do they have the guts to base it on the episode about AIDS!?

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

Wow...I used to watch that when I was little, and me and my sister used to imagine those kids accidentally punching each other out during that conjuring ceremony thingie or whatchamaycallit. That's all I can remember from the show- and it being kind of ridiculous.

This, a live-action film? Boy howdy, this is soooo gonna tank. It's a stillborn, right there and then.

The Scientist wrote:

This, a live-action film? Boy howdy, this is soooo gonna tank. It's a stillborn, right there and then.

Yes. Silly premises have never been remodelled into successfull concepts. That Buffy the Vampire Slayer series was just as bad as the film.

I'm not saying this movie will be good. But with the right plot, the right rewriting and the right characterization, it could be less than half bad. This premature ranting on How Much It's Gonna Suck on the flimsy basis of the original alone is just that: premature, flimsy and kind of weak.

True (you say true, I say thankya )


It's just a feeling.

The Scientist wrote:

It's just a feeling.

Well that's not very scientific is it.

I can't be scientific all the time. On the job, yes, but here...

But I'll try harder in the future, if it makes you happy.

Jay/Cris wrote:

I'm not saying this movie will be good. But with the right plot, the right rewriting and the right characterization, it could be less than half bad. This premature ranting on How Much It's Gonna Suck on the flimsy basis of the original alone is just that: premature, flimsy and kind of weak.

Yeah, it's not like even highly anticipated films with awesome source material and a shit-ton of resources behind them have totally tanked...oh wait. Yeah, griping about a film with shitty source material to begin with is "weak." Yep.

Owlish wrote:

Jay/Cris wrote:

I'm not saying this movie will be good. But with the right plot, the right rewriting and the right characterization, it could be less than half bad. This premature ranting on How Much It's Gonna Suck on the flimsy basis of the original alone is just that: premature, flimsy and kind of weak.

Yeah, it's not like even highly anticipated films with awesome source material and a shit-ton of resources behind them have totally tanked...oh wait. Yeah, griping about a film with shitty source material to begin with is "weak." Yep.

I thought we all agreed that that abomination never happened.

Owlish wrote:

Jay/Cris wrote:

I'm not saying this movie will be good. But with the right plot, the right rewriting and the right characterization, it could be less than half bad. This premature ranting on How Much It's Gonna Suck on the flimsy basis of the original alone is just that: premature, flimsy and kind of weak.

Yeah, it's not like even highly anticipated films with awesome source material and a shit-ton of resources behind them have totally tanked...oh wait. Yeah, griping about a film with shitty source material to begin with is "weak." Yep.

Because honestly, I wonder how they're going to make a good film out of a stupid cartoon.... but that is based solely on my opinion that the cartoon was stupid. People who like it will think differently, obviously.

The Scientist wrote:

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Cartoon Networks Says "Go Planet" To Live-Action Captain Planet Movie

There...there are no words...

Wow...I used to watch that when I was little, and me and my sister used to imagine those kids accidentally punching each other out during that conjuring ceremony thingie or whatchamaycallit. That's all I can remember from the show- and it being kind of ridiculous.

Funny, when I saw that show, I kind of imagined the kids all getting into a fight by beating each other to a pulp.

Wheeler is such a dickwad.

Lapin wrote:

I thought we all agreed that that abomination never happened.

Sorry, I can't. It's etched into my mind forever, like a horribly violent trainwreck.

The Scientist wrote:

Because honestly, I wonder how they're going to make a good film out of a stupid cartoon.... but that is based solely on my opinion that the cartoon was stupid. People who like it will think differently, obviously.

Hey, I loved the cartoon, but I fully admit that it was, objectively, a shitty story. I'll probably see the movie regardless, but making it appeal to anyone outside the small subset of fans is going to take some serious rewriting (to the point that I wonder how much of the original show they can maintain, and how much is going to be just the concept of Captain Planet). And I'd rather go into it not expecting much, and being pleasantly surprised, than expecting something great and being disappointed with another trainwreck.

Owlish wrote:

Lapin wrote:

I thought we all agreed that that abomination never happened.

Sorry, I can't. It's etched into my mind forever, like a horribly violent trainwreck.

The Scientist wrote:

Because honestly, I wonder how they're going to make a good film out of a stupid cartoon.... but that is based solely on my opinion that the cartoon was stupid. People who like it will think differently, obviously.

Hey, I loved the cartoon, but I fully admit that it was, objectively, a shitty story. I'll probably see the movie regardless, but making it appeal to anyone outside the small subset of fans is going to take some serious rewriting (to the point that I wonder how much of the original show they can maintain, and how much is going to be just the concept of Captain Planet). And I'd rather go into it not expecting much, and being pleasantly surprised, than expecting something great and being disappointed with another trainwreck.

All hail common sense! Lower your expectations!

We mentioned the Smurfs movie, right?

Take a look at this: Latest trailer

I saw the one in the kilt with the Scottish accent and yelled at the screen, "That's not a Smurf! That's a Nac Mac Feegle! Terry Pratchett is gonna sue your ass!"

OH MY GOD.

Okay, I'm gonna need an anvil, some rope, an axe and a reminder on how to tie a noose.

Owlish wrote:

Jay/Cris wrote:

I'm not saying this movie will be good. But with the right plot, the right rewriting and the right characterization, it could be less than half bad. This premature ranting on How Much It's Gonna Suck on the flimsy basis of the original alone is just that: premature, flimsy and kind of weak.

Yeah, it's not like even highly anticipated films with awesome source material and a shit-ton of resources behind them have totally tanked...oh wait. Yeah, griping about a film with shitty source material to begin with is "weak." Yep.

Hee. So, wait, because the results of adaptation are unpredictable and, y'know, sometimes even good source material produces awful movies, it's totally cool to go and dismiss a movie solely because the source material is bad, without any and all intel on how the adaptation will handle the materials.

Complaining about the fact that Captain Planet is getting a movie at this stage is not so much snarking at particular choices made in the development of the movie, but it's more simple whinging, especially considering the fact that the source material isn't universally revolted, but more a guilty pleasure.

Seriously. This is what you have: "I hear they're making a movie of Captain Planet and that in itself sucks!" Yeah. I'm gonna stick with 'weak'.