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 Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

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Lysander
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Lysander


Join date : 2009-06-10

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 12:48 pm

Oh hey, a review for Transformers 2! Let's check it out!

Quote :
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of
Transformers 2. A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s
Giza Necropolis, with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid
comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to
the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot
tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling
down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition in
this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles.

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux 203843

. . . he has Decepticles.



Well, at least one of us is gonna be happy.
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Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Chris91


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 56
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 5:29 pm

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux 556166
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Miraba
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Miraba


Join date : 2009-06-10
Location : Washington DC

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 8:21 pm

WRY?!

Seriously, why? Did someone think it was clever?
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KelinciHutan
Global Nomad
Global Nomad
KelinciHutan


Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : USS Enterprise

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 8:24 pm

Harley's going to love this movie. :panic:
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Ceres
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Ceres


Join date : 2009-06-10

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 8:30 pm

GI Joe isn't faring too well either - rumors are that they fired the director and locked him out of the editing room to see if the footage was somehow salvageable by some other editors. Big studio denies it, but where there's smoke, there's fire...
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Miraba
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Miraba


Join date : 2009-06-10
Location : Washington DC

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 8:31 pm

Yes, but did anything think GI Joe was going to be anywhere near passable?
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Kremlin

Kremlin


Join date : 2009-06-11
Location : Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 8:38 pm

Miraba wrote:
Yes, but did anything think GI Joe was going to be anywhere near passable?
Honestly, I held a glimmer of hope that it would be, in the very least, watchable as it has Joseph Gordon-Levitt in it and I figured, after his long career in awesome independent films, he wouldn't sign up for a movie that was complete and utter garbage.

I guess I was wrong.
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Mr. Comic Book
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Mr. Comic Book


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 45
Location : Wouldn't you like to know

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyTue Jun 16, 2009 11:58 pm

Ceres wrote:
GI Joe isn't faring too well either - rumors are that they fired the director and locked him out of the editing room to see if the footage was somehow salvageable by some other editors. Big studio denies it, but where there's smoke, there's fire...

The chief editor they hired to fix the movie is Stuart Baird, director of Star Trek: Nemesis.

Yeah, I wouldn't be too confident he can fix this, either.
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Raine
Challenge Winner!
Challenge Winner!
Raine


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 37
Location : Australia

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyWed Jun 17, 2009 1:40 am

Lysander wrote:

. . . he has Decepticles.

Is it bad I want to see if this is true?
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anangrychocobo
Sporkbender
Sporkbender



Join date : 2009-06-13

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyWed Jun 17, 2009 6:41 am

Decepticles. Way to coin a phrase.
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Delcat
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Delcat


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 36
Location : Underestimating the power of soup

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyWed Jun 17, 2009 11:06 am

Miraba wrote:
Yes, but did anything think GI Joe was going to be anywhere near passable?
I dunno, those pork chop sandwiches sure did smell good.
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http://delcat.insanejournal.com
Spotts1701
Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Spotts1701


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 44
Location : New Vertiform City

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyWed Jun 17, 2009 8:09 pm

Mr. Comic Book wrote:
Ceres wrote:
GI Joe isn't faring too well either - rumors are that they fired the director and locked him out of the editing room to see if the footage was somehow salvageable by some other editors. Big studio denies it, but where there's smoke, there's fire...

The chief editor they hired to fix the movie is Stuart Baird, director of Star Trek: Nemesis.

Yeah, I wouldn't be too confident he can fix this, either.

To be fair, Baird is a much better editor than he is a director (his editing credits are a pretty good list of solid Hollywood hits).
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SokMunkie
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
SokMunkie


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 45
Location : KC,MO

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 6:19 am

The only thing I could think about the "Decepticles" was that if someone kicked him, it would hurt them worse than it would hurt him.

GI Joe was stupid to begin with. How could a movie be any better?
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Mafiosa
You crack me up, little buddy!
You crack me up, little buddy!



Join date : 2009-06-03

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 10:55 am

Jesus Christ, has anyone seen those trailers for that guinea pig movie Disney is producing?

I think they were specially tailored to piss me off.
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lovedless
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
lovedless


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 46
Location : Scarlet Crusade (US)

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 11:10 am

Decepticles. Srsly. WTF???
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Animir
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Animir


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 37
Location : Vermont

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 11:11 am

SokMunkie wrote:
GI Joe was stupid to begin with. How could a movie be any better?
*thinks* The movie has Christoper Eccleston in it?
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InkWeaver
Harriet Tubman
Harriet Tubman
InkWeaver


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 33
Location : Home of the peanuts.

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 2:13 pm

Mafiosa wrote:
Jesus Christ, has anyone seen those trailers for that guinea pig movie Disney is producing?

I think they were specially tailored to piss me off.

YES

AND WHY THE HELL IS BILL NIGHY IN THIS

BILL FUCKING NIGHY

I THOUGHT HE HAD A CAREER
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Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Chris91


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 56
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 2:25 pm

So did I.

And what are those Boba Fett heads doing above my avatar?
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Mafiosa
You crack me up, little buddy!
You crack me up, little buddy!



Join date : 2009-06-03

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 6:58 pm

InkWeaver wrote:
Mafiosa wrote:
Jesus Christ, has anyone seen those trailers for that guinea pig movie Disney is producing?

I think they were specially tailored to piss me off.

YES

AND WHY THE HELL IS BILL NIGHY IN THIS

BILL FUCKING NIGHY

I THOUGHT HE HAD A CAREER

WHY IS WILL ARNETT IN IT?!
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Drabbler
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Drabbler


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 133

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyFri Jun 19, 2009 7:54 pm

Animir wrote:
SokMunkie wrote:
GI Joe was stupid to begin with. How could a movie be any better?
*thinks* The movie has Christoper Eccleston in it?
So did The Seeker.
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NastyHobbitses

NastyHobbitses


Join date : 2009-06-21

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptySun Jun 21, 2009 10:57 am

I'd only see the GI Joe movie if it had the PSAs. And knowing is half the battle! Bonus if they did live-action versions of the Fenslerfilm ones. MR. BODY MASSAGE MACHINE GO!
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Ceres
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Ceres


Join date : 2009-06-10

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyMon Jun 22, 2009 1:08 pm

Ouch, The Seeker! I remember that one!

Oh, 9th Doctor, why must you disappoint me so?
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Fitchsticks
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Fitchsticks


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 34

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyMon Jun 22, 2009 4:22 pm

InkWeaver wrote:
Mafiosa wrote:
Jesus Christ, has anyone seen those trailers for that guinea pig movie Disney is producing?

I think they were specially tailored to piss me off.

YES

AND WHY THE HELL IS BILL NIGHY IN THIS

BILL FUCKING NIGHY

I THOUGHT HE HAD A CAREER
I think these days its mainly based on the Richard Curtis films.You know, the ones where Curtis heavily uses the 'replace word' feature in his script writing. Love Actually, The Boat that Rocked etc
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Harley Quinn hyenaholic
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Harley Quinn hyenaholic


Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 38
Location : Taking that picture...

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux Empty
PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyMon Jun 22, 2009 4:45 pm

Lysander wrote:
Oh hey, a review for Transformers 2! Let's check it out!

Quote :
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of
Transformers 2. A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s
Giza Necropolis, with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid
comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to
the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot
tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling
down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition in
this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles.

Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux 203843

. . . he has Decepticles.



Well, at least one of us is gonna be happy.

Lysander, that phrase has automatically turned you into my god.

In other news, just because this movie has Decepticles (Lysander can I give you oral?) doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it. Part of the POINT is that the damn Transformers get some god damn DEVELOPMENT this time around, unlike you know, the only time they are on screen being the instances when they're either product placing or blowing the fuck out of something.

Although if he can bring himself to pull this sort of shit off, I feel obligated to ask why he had trouble explaining robot genders the first time around. Nobody ever had trouble with it in the cartoon.
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Drabbler
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Drabbler


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 133

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PostSubject: Re: Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux   Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux EmptyMon Jun 22, 2009 4:55 pm

Bill Nighy did have one of the best lines in Flushed Away when he said he had "a bum like a Japanese flag."
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