Twilight: The Death of Feminism

Q just got hoisted with his own Picard, so to speak.

Lysander wrote:

Q just got hoisted with his own Picard, so to speak.

I shouldn't like this nearly as much as I do.

Miss Prince wrote:

I checked, and it turns out I still ship it, yes indeed [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I think I'm going to start shipping it.

So, I got conned into seeing New Moon.

I have a friend who is a Twihard. Two of us agreed to see Twilight with her, out of curiousity. It sucked hard, and that's $8.50 I'll never see again. So we told her she was on her own for New Moon.

Well, then the Astro Boy trailer shows, and I want to see it. Friends do not. Twihard sees golden opportunity. She'll see Astro Boy with me if I see New Moon. Reluctant, but still wanting to see Astro Boy, I agree.

Then I found out she'd also conned the other friend. So now we're both seeing New Moon, and we've been duped by a Twihard. This is just embarassing all around.

But fear not! Lapin has found the bright side! I will industriously take notes throughout the horror and then present them to y'all! I guarantee, this thing is going to be stupid enough for a few laughs.

Lapin wrote:

But fear not! Lapin has found the bright side! I will industriously take notes throughout the horror and then present them to y'all! I guarantee, this thing is going to be stupid enough for a few laughs.

If it was anything like Twilight, there will be plenty of laughs. In fact, your friend will probably get mad at you and to shut up because you're laughing too much. At least, that's what happened to me when I saw Twilight.

I don't know about you guys, but I found the Twilight movie hideously boring. I watched it with Rifftrax and I still almost fell asleep watching. The special effects were horrid. My dad kept turning to me and asking if it was meant to be a joke during that scene where Edward ran SOOPER FAST up a hill carrying Bella. Then he actually started laughing and repeating 'oh my God' when Edward started sparkling.

He had never heard of Twilight until that evening, either.

Stephenie Meyer has her own comic book now:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's funny how she's draw to look more or less the same as a kid as she does an adult.

Also, she looks evil when she's having a drink with her future husband. Sort of like, "Ha HA! I have him in my web now... eeexxxcellent."

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Stephenie Meyer has her own comic book now:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's funny how she's draw to look more or less the same as a kid as she does an adult.

So if I were to slap out a senseless teenage romance novel full of cliches and vaguely-veiled pedophilia, I could get someone to draw a comic of me where I look like I did when I was four? Because I was one seriously cute four-year-old. Then I hit puberty, and it was straight downhill...

Also, Forks looks about as interesting as a toxic waste dump. Actually, a toxic waste dump would be more interesting; you might stumble across a mutant rat with six eyes or something.

I've actually been through Forks on my way to visit my Father's friends with him. It's not that bad a place, except now it's crawling with Twihards DX

Even if It's false(which I have not wanted to take the time to look up), I kind of liked the history of the werewolvesShapeshifters. That's the only part of the book that was in any way interesting. Oh, well, Jasper's Vampire war history was kind of cool too.

-facepalm- talk about milking a cash cow.

Forks is kind of a non-place. You go through it on your way to somewhere else, if you're taking the scenic route in an already long and scenic drive. It's certainly more interesting than anything in Utah, in a safe and boring way, so that's probably the place to go if you're a Mormon vampire.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Stephenie Meyer has her own comic book now:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's funny how she's draw to look more or less the same as a kid as she does an adult.

So if I were to slap out a senseless teenage romance novel full of cliches and vaguely-veiled pedophilia, I could get someone to draw a comic of me where I look like I did when I was four? Because I was one seriously cute four-year-old. Then I hit puberty, and it was straight downhill...

Is it just me, or is four-year-old Smeyer giving me the sexy eyes?
Granted, it's a pretty common theme in Twilight canon...

I stumbled across this last night while wandering around the web, and it doesn't really seem big enough to warrant it's own thread, but it's just so lullzy, I can't pass up posting it.

Some of you may have had dealings with CliffNotes in the past. They're basically intended as study guides to help you get through a book, while teaching you new words and how to use them.

Ladies, Gentlemen and People of Indeterminate Gender, I give you :

Defigning Twilight and Defigning New Moon

And God, I wish this were a joke.

Defining Twilight & Defining New Moon

Quote :

Can you resist the allure of Edward's myriad charms — his ocher eyes and tousled hair, the cadence of his speech, his chiseled alabaster skin, and his gratuitous charm? Will you hunt surreptitiously and tolerate the ceaselessdeluge in Forks to evade the sun and uphold the facade?
Join Edward and Bella as you learn more than 600 vocabulary words to
improve your score on the *SAT, ACT, GED, and SSAT exams!
Use these workbooks side-by-side with your own copies of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight and New Moon to unlock your vocabulary potential!

Each chapter in the workbooks gives you eight words taken from Twilight or New Moon, with page references for you to read the words in the context of your favorite novels.

Define the words on your own before turning back to the workbooks for their actual definitions.

At the end of each section you'll take SAT, ACT, GED, and SSAT drills and quizzes to review and integrate what you've learned.

Plus, you'll learn synonyms, Latin word parts, and memorization tools throughout the workbook.

I fear this, because it's encouraging English and literature teachers to use what has to be one of the most vapid, vacuous, ridiculous series ever written in the English language as required reading. And trust me, I had to read 'The Scarlet Letter' AND Charles Dicken's 'Bleak House' during my senior year

I was also familiar with the meaning of all the words in italics by the time I was in sixth grade. But that was because I read several years above my age level, and if I didn't understand a word used in a book, I looked it up in the dictionary to see what it meant.

And so we go from 'Fun with Dick and Jane' to 'Fun with Edward and Bella.' Does that make Jacob Spot?

Seriously, the vocab in these books is nothing special. I don't think she used "chagrin" correctly even ONCE.

Narwhal wrote:

Seriously, the vocab in these books is nothing special. I don't think she used "chagrin" correctly even ONCE.

I get the impression that she has no idea what 'gratuitous' means either. Because talking about someone's 'gratuitous charm', if I'm to believe my Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is NOT a compliment.

Quote :

Main Entry: gra·tu·itous
Pronunciation: \grə-ˈtü-ə-təs, -ˈtyü-\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin gratuitus, from gratus
Date: 1656

1 a : given unearned or without recompense b : not involving a return benefit, compensation, or consideration c : costing nothing : free
2 : not called for by the circumstances : unwarranted

None of the possible meanings are particularly flattering-they basically all say he looks gorgeous without any effort and for no reason.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Defigning Twilight and Defigning New Moon

Psst. Beat you to it.

Quote :

Sparrow wrote:

*Sigh* [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Quote :

Can you resist the allure of Edward's myriad charms—his ocher eyes and
tousled hair, the cadence of his speech, his chiseled alabaster skin,
and his gratuitous charm? Join Edward and Bella as you learn vocabulary
words to improve your score on the *SAT, ACT, GED, and SSAT exams!

Sparrow wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Defigning Twilight and Defigning New Moon

Psst. Beat you to it.

Well crap.

If you ever go to Forks, you can stay in a Twilight hotel room

theweirdkind wrote:

If you ever go to Forks, you can stay in a Twilight hotel room

That'd be a room where a creepy guy comes in and watches you sleep, all night?

Quote :

They only cost $139 a night, which is a pretty good deal for a themed-hotel room. The inn's regular rooms cost about $79/night right now.

I wonder if that's on or off season, or if they don't differentiate. At any rate.. WAT? Seriously. I'm glad someone is getting money off the Twitards, but... stay in a hotel room because it's black and red? Huh?

Also, I somehow clicked on a different article in that blog, and this is what I got:

Quote :

They both play the sexy vampire. One on the big-screen and one on the small-screen. And though people compare them all the time, True Blood's Stephen Moyer doesn't see Twilight's Robert Pattinson as competition.


...

A couple months ago, Stephen Moyer was heard calling Robert Pattinson a "pussy" and the "Slim Fast, Diet Coke of vampires."

Go Bill!

Maximilia wrote:

Quote :

They only cost $139 a night, which is a pretty good deal for a themed-hotel room. The inn's regular rooms cost about $79/night right now.

I wonder if that's on or off season, or if they don't differentiate. At any rate.. WAT? Seriously. I'm glad someone is getting money off the Twitards, but... stay in a hotel room because it's black and red? Huh?

Also, I somehow clicked on a different article in that blog, and this is what I got:

Quote :

They both play the sexy vampire. One on the big-screen and one on the small-screen. And though people compare them all the time, True Blood's Stephen Moyer doesn't see Twilight's Robert Pattinson as competition.


...

A couple months ago, Stephen Moyer was heard calling Robert Pattinson a "pussy" and the "Slim Fast, Diet Coke of vampires."

Go Bill!

Well, there was also the incident at San Diego Comic Con (as seen on Youtube) where the entire cast and crew of True Blood was asked if there would be half-vampire babies showing up, and series head Alan Ball reacted with a horrified "NO!" Both Moyer and Anna Paquin were baffled beyond belief at the balls of the Twihards for asking stuff like that. Then again, it's widely held that the Twihards pretty much ruined San Diego Con for everbody else, so I guess it's just par for the course.

Maximilia wrote:

Quote :

They only cost $139 a night, which is a pretty good deal for a themed-hotel room. The inn's regular rooms cost about $79/night right now.

I wonder if that's on or off season, or if they don't differentiate. At any rate.. WAT? Seriously. I'm glad someone is getting money off the Twitards, but... stay in a hotel room because it's black and red? Huh?

Does Forks, Washington HAVE an on-season?! (Well, I guess it does now!)

theweirdkind wrote:

If you ever go to Forks, you can stay in a Twilight hotel room

Is it wrong of me that, when I saw the picture, I thought that those rooms were more suited for a place like this?

Spotts1701 wrote:

theweirdkind wrote:

If you ever go to Forks, you can stay in a Twilight hotel room

Is it wrong of me that, when I saw the picture, I thought that those rooms were more suited for a place like this?

No. My first thought was 'It looks like one of those fantasy-themed 'Just Married' rooms they have in Vegas.

Though I do think it would add to the authenticity of the experience if they were to hire young men who looked like Robert Patterson to sit next to your bed at night and stare fixedly at you. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Every time you think the Twilight fandom can't get any weirder, it does. Does that Twilight-themed hotel room actually have anything whatsoever to do with Twilight other than having movie posters on the walls?