The Badfic Contest to End All Badfic Contests (EXTENDED TO SEPT 1)

Harley, please, for the love of God, include a scene where Shadow tenderly sings to Sonic during labor. I'll let you have fun picking the most nauseating song imaginable. I personally suggest "The Reason is You" by Hoobastank.

Mythandariel wrote:

Ok...here's mine:

Pen-name: Auto-Knookie
Fandom: Transformers
Paring: Optimus/Mikaela
Tropes: Mates, Rape, Healing!Sex, Secret pregnancy, Miscarriage, Conniving Ex, Twin babies

-snip-

What do you think?

It's great, but it has to be five chapters. Each story is five chapters to equalize stats. Having more or less than other participants will give you an advantage.

Quick question: Can lurkers join in? This looks like too much fun to just pass up on.

Lurkers, feel free to join. This contest is open to everybody. Just fill out the form and PM it to me.

Damn. My account refuses to verify.

Erm, question? So let's say we want to do this, and we do it, and it goes off awesome, but we haven't told anyone on this forum what our fic is or where to find it. Let us further suppose that some helpful member of the forum then leaves either concrit or a scathing flame, unaware that the fic they're reviewing was spawned by this very challenge.

Does that count to our stats, or would that be subtracted from the grand total?

Okay, I've finally come up with my fic:

FF.net username: NOM-sandywitch-NOM
Fandom: Avatar
Tropes: Misplaced Historical Fiction, Girl Poses as Boy in All Male Boarding School, Arranged Marriage/Marriage Law, Conniving Ex (Betrothed?) Tries to Break Up Couple, possible Sugar High/Crack before the awkward shift in tone to deal with Horrific NonCanon Childhood Abuse

To avoid a life of prostitution in Victorian London, bookish Katara disguises herself as a boy and finds some contrived means to enroll in an elite boys' academy. After a few wacky shenanigans blatantly ripped from Ouran High School Host Club, Katara meets Zuko, Head Boy of the Fire House and 13th Duke of Ozai, and the sparks fly. But Zuko has a secret of his own: he is trapped in an unwanted betrothal to the terminally dull (and possibly crazy) Lady Mai, who would stop at nothing to keep the marriage from going as planned. WILL ZUTARA PULL THROUGH?

anangrychocobo wrote:

Kinda sucks that I can't really think of a way to ruin this for everyone. If anything would prove my trolling ability, it'd be successfully trolling the would-be trolls.

You? Come on. You're not even an entertaining troll.

OH NO I HAVE BEEN DENIED VALIDATION FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR NO LESS

Mae. Your profile is so ridiculously realistic. I'm serious, it's not overdone, it's just right, and I would not even be able to tell it was a sock if I didn't know better.

mennat, even if lurkers COULDN'T join in - you'd be allowed 'cause that cat is firing a lazer.

HEEEEEE. My fic is up, people!

Forbidden Fruit. Please, tell me what you think =D

My second chapter's up.

My verification e-mail never came from FF.Net. So I'll give up and just leave you with what my fic would have been. And here's some tips...

1: Song lyrics. They ALWAYS suck.
2: Author's Notes mid-fic. Don't forget to make them pointless and opinionated.
3: Ignorance is paramount. "I'd just like to say that I don't think rape is okay, unless it's consensual rape."
4: A total lack of research. If the surname of a character is anything more complicated than 'Smith', spell it wrong consistently.
5: Arrogance. Demand reviews, then should you not get those reviews, put the next chapter up and demand less reviews than you did before in the hope that you'll get them.
6: Bitchyness. If you get called out, instantly go on the defensive.
7: Spelling. Not all badfic writers can't spell, but they do seem to think that spellcheck is for pussies.
8: This is your first fic. You have no idea how to use FF.Net's formatting tools. So don't bother.
9: Titles.
a) You could always call it 'untitled'.
b) Or you could make the title a reference to the OC you're using in some way.
10: Summaries.
a) My personal opinion is that if somebody can't even summarise their own fic, how can they be expected to write a fic well? You could say that you suck in your summary. Obviously you don't believe it; you're just modest.
b) Or you could pop the name of your character into it.

I'm in this.

I'm planning on writing an epic Roy/Riza FMA highschool AU.
If any of you are sticklers about Czech history, I apologize in advance.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

My verification e-mail never came from FF.Net.

Did you check your spam box?

Yes, repeatedly.

Still, it means I can work on REAL fics.

Narwhal wrote:

Lurkers, feel free to join. This contest is open to everybody. Just fill out the form and PM it to me.

Glad to hear it! Sending the form right now.

InkWeaver wrote:

mennat, even if lurkers COULDN'T join in - you'd be allowed 'cause that cat is firing a lazer.

Well, I'm glad you approve of it.

IT. IS. HERE.

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Also, my random favouriting has garnered a response:

Kisara Strife Today, 4:34pm	Hi there huni, I just wanted to say thanks a million for the fave on my fic; it really means the world to me that you took the time to read it and liked it enough to fave it, so thanks again sweetie! Kas, :-) XxxxxxxxxxxxX
Firebreathing Ninja From Space Today, 4:41pm	Hi yourself! I haven't actually read it yet - it looked like just the kind of fic I was looking for so I favourited it to read later. I'll be sure to review when I'm done.
Kisara Strife Today, 4:44pm	Lol, my bad! Don't worry abou reviewing sweetie; I'm just happy to have another reader! XxxxxxxxxxX

Dun dun dun...

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I decided to up the ante and make Katara have an eating disorder. It just keeps getting worse.

I'm in.

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I will be doing:

Fandom: FFVII
Trope: Everyone is gay, Rape is Love, Stockholm Syndrome, Seme/Uke, Healing!Sex, Character X Has Amnesia
Name of Fic: Downward Spiral
Pairing: Sephiroth/Cloud (RAPE) and Zack/Cloud (Comfort and junk)

Oh. My. God.

Keith, I know that girl. She's a member of my other forums.

(And yes, everyone there thinks she's a mediocre writer too.)

(Also... shitting my pants with laughter here. God, the irony.)

Count me in.

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Doing:
Fandom: FFVII
Trope: High school, Popular Girl/Bad Boy and a whole slew of OOC.
Name of Fic: Midgar High
Pairing: Tifa/Reno

Raine - I read. I lol'ed. I felt a single crystal tear roll down my ivory cheek.

Oh, I am so doing this.

Fandom
Lords of the Rings (will crossover with Twilight and FFVII eventually) nevermind guess those aren't allowed.

Tropes
Everyone is Gay!
Rape is Love
Healing!Sex
Seme/Uke

I promise you all that even if I don't win, I will write such an epic shitfic that none of you will ever recover. Will link to FF.net account as soon as it's up.

EDIT: the Beast awakens

Keith Fraser wrote:

Raine - I read. I lol'ed. I felt a single crystal tear roll down my ivory cheek.

See my above post, Keithy.

Oh bejesus guys, your fics suck. I'll pop mine up tomorrow, if ff.net ever let me post.