The Badfic Contest to End All Badfic Contests (EXTENDED TO SEPT 1)

I might just write a 50 Shades fic where the story is about Anna being an overworked woman in her mid-twenties meeting Christian in the the small eatery she works in while she finishes up her degree.

Cue an endearing and warm Christian coming to her restaurant everyday, giving her a dollar and telling her to cue up the same series of songs over and over. By the third day, Ana finely gets it that he's asking her out with the first word of each song title reading; Anna On My Mind.

The story focuses on her warming up to Christian while juggling her responsibilities to her school, family and her friends, all who mean well but pull her in opposite directions and physically and mentally exhaust her until one day she finely puts her foot down and tells her friends and family that she's had enough of them trying to direct her life.

She finely goes out with Christian and he slowly introduces her to the BDSM community and Anna finds that relinquishing control, at least for a little while, is the most freeing thing she had ever done.

Her family mistakes their relationship for abusive and tries to get her away from him until she finely has an emotional break down from the constant interference. Putting his reputation on the line, he invites her parents over to his palatial suite in Seattle to explain to them exactly what their relationship is like.

Feeling like utter fools, her parents get the rest of her family and friends to lay off of Anna and she is finely free to pursue her unconventional relationship, adding a new circle of friends to her old and broadening a few of their perspectives in the process.

And yes... when I read a BAD novel like this, I have the urge to rewrite it.

Also... I like to imagine all the hardcore fans of the novels to explode at the prospect of someone not finding Edward Christian sexy.