The Badfic Contest to End All Badfic Contests (EXTENDED TO SEPT 1)

Kay! Trollfic is now done. Thank god.

If any of youwrote gay sex scenes and happen to be womyn, I am eternally ashamed of you and consider yourself snagged on the patriarchy's umbilical cord. They are only wannabe womyn and not actually womyn themselves and so gay men are a parody of the real thing. Therefore they are as offensive as a rotting sardine in the sun.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Chapter 5 of The Ninja, The Samurai And The Geisha has arrived!

I'm totally going to read that one after I've finished my Doctor Who thing.

I also noticed you have a reviewer named EarlyLearningCentre, who the hell names themselves after a toyshop? :blink:

I've extended it for you all. Hopefully that helps.

Thanks Narwhal! I was thinking of posting a more lemony oneshot companion fic (a Draco/Ginny one called "The Princess and the Ninja") to my one, this might give me enough time to do it.

Fairlight wrote:

I also noticed you have a reviewer named EarlyLearningCentre, who the hell names themselves after a toyshop? :blink:

I was wondering about that one as well.

"gracealice7" has added my story to her favourites, she hasn't got any posted herself but she has several favourites and they're all terrible. Some people have no taste at all.

Important news: That blood rain from my badfic? Yeah, that shit is real.

Chapter 6 posted!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] (again, it might not load for a little while as I just posted it in the last 60 seconds)

Some choice excerpts:

Quote :

“And that's another thing.[" said Hermione. "]Whoever wrote this obviously knows nothing about Japan beyond superficial stuff from films. It's a common misconception that geishas are prostitutes rather than entertainers, perpetuated by racist stereotypes left over from World War 2. I think the author has them confused with oiren, who were a type of courtesan during the Edo period. The portrayal of the geishas is just standard hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold romance novel nonsense, anyway.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about this,” Luna chimed in. “Have you been considering a change of career?” She winked.

Quote :

"Actually, I wonder if this story is deliberately written in such a silly way for some sort of joke?”

“It isn't,” said Luna. “Daddy got some letters asking that, and the author was very upset. They threatened to stop writing if anyone else 'violated their right to self-expression'. So Daddy just stopped telling them about those letters.”

Keith, that last chapter is brilliant. Thank you so much for participating!

Keith Fraser wrote:

FIC ROLLED

*sporfle*

Wish I could have stuck around for the whole thing - college got in the way. Anyway, let the wank commence!

If I turn out to have just invented the phrase 'fic rolled' without someone else having come up with it years ago, I will be very surprised. :D (Note also the reference to it in the chapter title.)

Okay, done. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Chapter 6 is up

Mine's a little patronising and a lot less funny

Fangirls usually don't respond well to this sort of thing, you're probably going to get a lot of mortified silence.

Also: ZoZo, broken link to your sixth chapter here at the forum, and missing link to the forum there in your chapter. FFN deletes URLs in the text of the story.

Keith, I adore your final chapter, but I didn't notice a mention of this site anywhere.

Chaltab wrote:

Fangirls usually don't respond well to this sort of thing, you're probably going to get a lot of mortified silence.

Also: ZoZo, broken link to your sixth chapter here at the forum, and missing link to the forum there in your chapter. FFN deletes URLs in the text of the story.

Nice catch. Amended!

I didn't mention WGW as frankly we have enough unfunny trolls already.

Keith Fraser wrote:

I didn't mention WGW as frankly we have enough unfunny trolls already.

True, but it was part of the challenge rules. Unless Narwhal doesn't care, in which case, hooray, fewer unfunny trolls around!

Yay I am curious how this is going to turn out. Personally I've long since dropped out of the challenge (still only one chapter up) but I am determined not to drop out from the fic itself. I SHALL FINISH IT


EVENTUALLY

I'm a little late, but I will write the "reveal" chapter soon, either tonight or tomorrow.

And I've been favourited again by Draco167, I wonder if he read Chapter Six or not.

Fairlight wrote:

And I've been favourited again by Draco167, I wonder if he read Chapter Six or not.

He/she favourited mine, too (before chapter 6). Clearly not a discerning reader.

Alright, final tally of my "score":

5 Favorited
12 Story Alerts (13 total--one person Alerted it both before and after the repost)
15 Reviews (and the one troll review, which I didn't count)
1555 Hits to the story.

I also posted the "final" chapter. Note that I did add the link to WGW, because it's part of the contest, and I think that if we took the time to troll the pit, then they deserve a shot at us too. It was inspired by Keith on here, hehe. Enjoy.

Full Circle: Reveal Chapter

EDIT: NUR. Having the real instead of the preview chapter is good.

Crikey, "coralie91" favourited my fic. Fairlight, I'm inclined to agree with you that fanbrats don't actually even bother reading the stories.

Judging from y'all's reviews, I was right--all the people begging for more of your trollfics are now unusually silent.