Humorous Misspellings

maladroit_mooncalf wrote:

Lady Anne wrote:

From a program for a performance of The Phantom of the Opera:

Quote :

A Graveyard in Perris

For those who don't know, Paris is a city in France and the setting of The Phantom of the Opera. Perris is a town in southern California which, while it has a cemetery, is definitely not the setting of The Phantom of the Opera (and the closest thing to an opera house in Perris is the Bob Glass Gym, which has a stage, bleachers, and lousy acoustics).

Actually, they probably meant "Perros", as Perros-Guirec was the burial place of Christine's father.

No, they meant Paris. This particular performance of Phantom was at a high school in Romoland, CA, which is right next to Perris, which is home to a number of the students.

Don't forget the Snark Bat!

Lady Anne wrote:

maladroit_mooncalf wrote:

Actually, they probably meant "Perros", as Perros-Guirec was the burial place of Christine's father.

No, they meant Paris. This particular performance of Phantom was at a high school in Romoland, CA, which is right next to Perris, which is home to a number of the students.

I'm guessing it was some sort of unconscious association thing, like the time I was talking to someone in California and typed "laugh" where I meant "life" because I had previously been told that my southern accent made the latter sound like the former. I've never been to any of the live shows, so I asked a friend who had and he showed me a program that says "SCENE 5 - A GRAVEYARD IN PERROS".

From Silent Hill: Scarlet Memories.

Quote :

We were heading to Florida to get my aunt, and my father must have taken a short cut, or he thought. Shortly after I woke we crashed from this odd fog on the road. It was so bazaar though,

Well if it really was you would think there would be a place to buy a weapon.

Pengwolf wrote:

From Silent Hill: Scarlet Memories.

Quote :

We were heading to Florida to get my aunt, and my father must have taken a short cut, or he thought. Shortly after I woke we crashed from this odd fog on the road. It was so bazaar though,

Well if it really was you would think there would be a place to buy a weapon.

Don't you mean a Wepon? And shouldn't he be on the roof where normal people close?

From a Titanic fic set during World War I:

Quote :

"You can't go, Jack. I don't want to wind up a window."

World War I was horrific, but...I'm reasonably certain that no woman wound up a window. There were plenty of widows, but becoming a window was a bit more unlikely.

How about My Inner Life, where Jenna and Link fall back "painting" after they have sex?

Not exactly a misspelling, but rather a really poorly written sentence:

Quote :

Lulu, having witnessed the murder of a culinary television star, decides to enter a cooking competition in order to try and uncover who the killer is, while Stephanie helps Ranger investigate a series of break-ins and things start to heat up between them, despite her relationship with officer Joe Morelli's objections.

Boldly mine. Stephanie Plum has a relationship with her boyfriend's objections?

(By the way, this is from the description of the novel Finger Lickin' Fifteen as presented on the Titlewave website).

From the same fic:

Quote :

His body was covered in a light sheath of sweat

Yeah, literally sweating your own body suit is not normal or healthy. Please see a doctor.

Quote :

A ray of sunshine illuminated him, making him look anglican.

The sunlight made him look like a member of the English church?

Backstreet Boys fanfiction where Nick had a row with Kevin.

Quote :

Nick slammed the front door angrily and kicked off his sneakers. He ran upstairs to his bedroom. He took off his sweater and hurled it at the wall. Then he threw his shit onto the bed.

The context says 'shirt', but, oh, the mental image!

Harry Potter summary that has the loveliest misspelling of 'destiny', I've ever seen.

Quote :

Harry has finished his first year at Hogwarts. He's learned some magic, he's made some friends and now he's at last learning the dark secret of his density.

Slightly off topic, when subtitles are added live there are bound to be some errors. I was once watching Sky Sports where presenter Richard Keys was interviewing soccer manager Gordon Strachan. They were discussing soccer player Craig Bellamy, who had been substituted in a match and had stormed off the pitch and down the tunnel to the locker room with all the panache of a spoiled two-year-old.

Interview went like this:-

Keys: When you were Bellamy's manager, did you ever have to substitute him?

Strachan: Yes, I did.

Keys: Did you get a big reaction?

Strachan: Yes. He's a very passionate player.

Subtitles substituted 'erection' for 'reaction. Changes the whole tenor of the conversation.

From a Titanic fanfic set in the 1920's:

Quote :

Rose decided she needed more rogue on her knees.

Guess those rogues in the 1920s were pretty small and lightweight, if a woman could balance more than one on her knees.

Wandering Critic wrote:

I have to wonder how many of these mistakes (fanbrat, student, or otherwise) are the result of people trusting their spelling checkers too much. The "correct all" feature is just plain terrifying.

For instance, mine presents "tuba" as the first choice to replace "toba", and if you remember that these people don't read, you can see where they could get "toba" instead of "toga" ... they're not writing words, they're transcribing sounds, and "b" and "g" can be fairly easily mistaken for each other, especially in some regional accents.

We wouldn't make that mistake because we read. We look at a word and say hey, that doesn't look right. Then we change it until it does. It may not be so much a matter of meaning, even, as it is pattern recognition. Humans are good at that. People who couldn't tell you the first thing about the breed standard for collies would spot something wrong (even if they weren't sure what) in a picture of a collie with the wrong coat colors, or maybe big floppy hound ears. We read, so we do that with words, too. Too many people today don't read any more than they're forced to, and they don't understand that the written language is something all its own, not just a transcription of sounds.

Of course, just writing down the sounds doesn't work. Imagine someone from Yorkshire, someone from Jamaica, someone from Nashville, and someone from Edinburgh all trying to read the phonetic transcription of what each other has said. You can't convince the phonics-raised fanbrats of that, though. So they mistake their and there and they're, they use ur for your or you're indiscriminately, and their Roman Patricias wear purple tubas ... and anyway, only the Emperor got a purple tuba; ordinary Senators had to make do with a purple stripe ... maybe around the bell? Also, if you wear it, that's a Sousaphone, not a tuba. And I think I need more sleep.

Your name suits you, you could have just said "People today tend to try as hard as humanely possible to NOT read as much as they can.

Reidmar wrote:

Wandering Critic wrote:

Actual post

Your name suits you, you could have just said "People today tend to try as hard as humanely possible to NOT read as much as they can.

Yes, they could be like you and make vapid, pointless, oversimplified and overgeneralized one-line spam posts with a generous dose of Captain Obvious on the side.

Or they could, you know, actually say something.

grmblfjx wrote:

Reidmar wrote:

Wandering Critic wrote:

Actual post

Your name suits you, you could have just said "People today tend to try as hard as humanely possible to NOT read as much as they can.

Yes, they could be like you and make vapid, pointless, oversimplified and overgeneralized one-line spam posts with a generous dose of Captain Obvious on the side.

Or they could, you know, actually say something.

True, but then that would require other people actually... you know, caring about what they have to say. Which seems to be missing from most of today's society with a placed, tl;dr from most of the websites I have visited lately.

Someone drew a picture of a guy with a giant penis in one of the English books. Under it, someone wrote:

Quote :

U NEED A CONDOR

Never underestimate the entertainment value of taggers who can't spell.

I ran across this one today:

Quote :

Two dogs were humphing in the street.

I wonder how a dog humphs. Usually they just bark, growl, and whine.

One of the boys at the school I work for is trying to write a romance novel. Here is a line that I had to work very hard at not laughing at.

Quote :

The site of her heving beasts made him want to humph her.

From an otherwise excellent Earth's Children fic:

Quote :

He passed his spear down their line and asked them to step forward to where he had tied a dear killed that morning to a tree.

Bolding mine. If it was so dear, why was it killed?

From a review of the same story:

Quote :

I swear, your writing is sending me through the gamete of emotions !!

A gamete (from Ancient Greek γαμέτης gametes "husband" / γαμετή gamete "wife") is a cell that fuses with another cell during fertilization (conception) in organisms that reproduce sexually. (from Wikipedia)

Scientists would like to study this reviewer, because never before have gametes been produced by fanfic (released, yes, at least with males, but produced? Not so much.)

Quote :

Obviously some of these reviewers have no sense of hummer!

Well, not everyone can sing.

From a Kannazuki no Miko fanfiction I read:

Quote :

Her kiss although it was forceful, wasn't viscous but compassionate

I thought I wouldn't find all that many fanfics, much less badfics for Kannazuki no Miko. I was wrong.

This is a picture of an actual university commencement program:

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Some of those people make the same kind of mistake when texting.

It's... kind of strange to have English as a second language and still have better grammar than the average American internet user.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Some of those people make the same kind of mistake when texting.

It's... kind of strange to have English as a second language and still have better grammar than the average American internet user.

I. Personally find it hilarious.

Today, a fanbrat decided to stop writing their story for a while, so they added this to the summary:

Quote :

ON HIGHAGUS

It sounds like a disease.