Amy Alkon -- fat-hating advice columnist

The worst part about it Lapin is that she's not just spouting it, she is advising other people in life with this kind of bullshit. Not once from any of her articles have I seen a valuable tidbit of advice that everyone should hear/read:

COMMUNICATE. IT WILL REALLY HELP YOU.

So. Where should we post our comments? Does someone want to phantom link her or do we just want to copy paste? From what I've seen, she'll come to defend herself.

InkWeaver wrote:

So. Where should we post our comments? Does someone want to phantom link her or do we just want to copy paste? From what I've seen, she'll come to defend herself.

Let's not bring her here. I would say copy-paste.

"The Advice Goddess"

I'm guessing she had to name herself that because "Turbo Bitch", "I'm So Much Better Than You" and "I'm a Crass, Mean-Spirited, Fat-Bashing Cunt" were already taken.

Malganis wrote:

I found this, and it's even more depressing.

Quote :

If you want me to hurl, speak admiringly of those wunnnnnnderful Dove ads that use "real" women (ie, of the "wide load" variety):

...

You know, if I want to see a herd of young women who are out of shape, all I have to do is fly home to America and open my eyes. If I'm buying a magazine or staring at your dumb billboard, I'd like to be rewarded with a look at the extraordinarly beautiful ones, 'kay?

For the record, she's talking about these women.

A "herd". Yeah, that couldn't possibly harken back to a herd of COWS, now could it.

I'd bone every single one of those women any day of the week, and twice on Sunday's. (Sorry for being crasse. Well not really...)

Fail for her. She probably has a waist that I could fit my hands around, no hips and no chest and is jealous of women with a few curves.

Quote :

There are unscrupulous women out there with full pincushions and empty turkey basters who will turn him into an unwitting sperm donor, visiting dad, and cash machine.

I.

...I.

...TRUST IS OVERRATED IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE WOMEN ARE BABY-CRAVING WHORES.

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion. Oh, but I'm fat, so my opinions don't matter, forgot.

KelinciHutan wrote:

Can anyone tell me what the heck this sentence means? "Turned your diaphragm into a frisbee" what?

I'm assuming she's talking about the contraceptive device and not the Frisbee, and we are thus enlightened to her real problem: She has a cervix eight inches across. ...at least, the bitch deserves that kind of problem.


Roaming outside of her sexist bullshit, she can't even handle textbook OCD.

Quote :

Because you and your wife aren't likely to end up like a 43-year-old
Bronx man -- trapped for two days under an avalanche of a decade's
worth of newspapers, magazines, and junk mail -- she isn't likely to go
for the cognitive behavioral therapy that's helped some clinical
hoarders. Probably your best appeal comes out of the work of 18th
century economist Adam Smith, who noted that sympathy compels people to put others' interests first.

The suggestion that research from the 18th century is your "best bet" on anything sends me into a nervous asthmatic fit. But centuries-old advice on psychology from an economist? Oh God, I need my inhaler...

Quote :

And, even if storage costs $2,400 a year, maybe that's a bargain price
for sanity, marital harmony, and avoiding the need to pay somebody to
rob you of pallets of gravy boats and boxes of amputated Barbies while
you're at the Olive Garden.

No. No, no, no, no. Hoarding is a symptom of an even bigger problem. You try to sweep it under the rug, it just gets worse. Enabling is never the answer, you self-important stupid fuck. That poor woman needs help and you can't just ignore that. Oh, wait, you can, because unlike a real psychologist, you don't have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I hope your cunt rots out.

Delcat wrote:

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion.

I thought that was the normal reaction. I hate babies. Do I count because I'm 18? Anathema, where are you on this baby hating train?

WAIT A SECOND GUYS WE HAVE A STATISTIC. 2 OUT OF 2 WOMEN (of 2 interviewed) HATE BABIES. I BET THAT MEANS ALL WOMEN HATE BABIES.

Can we please, please bring her here? Words can't express how badly I want to see her get a few new assholes from people on this site.

Miss Misery wrote:

"The Advice Goddess"

I'm guessing she had to name herself that because "Turbo Bitch", "I'm So Much Better Than You" and "I'm a Crass, Mean-Spirited, Fat-Bashing Cunt" were already taken.

There's a certain irony in using misogynistic insults against a woman who demonstrates over and over how misogynistic she is.

Knock it off.

As for her "OMG YOU WHORISH WOMAN HOW DARE YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND" column, I commented.

Quote :

Way to go, Amy! You slutshame that selfish whore! After all, she probably only had the kid to get FABULOUS CASH PRIZES from his dad, just like all single mothers, and is probably doing the same to the new boyfriend.

Jesus Christ.

As an antidote in this thread, I have just pasted this sentence directly from Wikipedia.

Quote :

This campaign has also spurred on a phenomenon whereby attractive women with bodies that better reflect 95% of the female population are referred to as Dove Mediocrities.

Click the link for lol.

Blooferlady wrote:

Delcat wrote:

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion.

I thought that was the normal reaction. I hate babies. Do I count because I'm 18? Anathema, where are you on this baby hating train?

WAIT A SECOND GUYS WE HAVE A STATISTIC. 2 OUT OF 2 WOMEN (of 2 interviewed) HATE BABIES. I BET THAT MEANS ALL WOMEN HATE BABIES.

I'm 19 and I can't stand babies. The only time I act like I like them are when I'm at work and the mom expects me to compliment the little bundle of joy.

THAT'S 3/3.

Quote :

The women are chunky. Saying so doesn't make you sexist. It makes you a person who states the obvious. It's sad, too, because being a heavy women diminishes your opportunities in jobs, life, and love. You can say it "shouldn't" be that way until you turn green -- but that won't change a simple fact: it is that way.

Hear that guys? "Being a heavy women" sounds like a real raw deal.

Quote :

An hourglass figure is actually a (medically measurable) predictor of fertility. The ideal is a .7 waist-to-hip ration (hourglass). I know Kate Moss was not anorexic because she had a .69 prior to pregnancy...and obviously, she got pregnant, so there you have it!

Quote :

Oh, and I do hate, hate, hate when newscasters pronounce their names with a Spanish accent. And Hispanic/Latino newscasters are the only ones I hear doing it. You don't hear people of other origins running around pronouncing their names the old country way, like "Goldschtein" for "Goldstein." Come on, people -- America's the melting pot country. It only works if people melt.

Oh, FUCK OFF.

I am literally ripping my bottom lip off with my teeth with rage.

Cyberwulf wrote:

Miss Misery wrote:

"The Advice Goddess"

I'm guessing she had to name herself that because "Turbo Bitch", "I'm So Much Better Than You" and "I'm a Crass, Mean-Spirited, Fat-Bashing Cunt" were already taken.

There's a certain irony in using misogynistic insults against a woman who demonstrates over and over how misogynistic she is.

Knock it off.

Hey, I'm just calling out the woman for what she is. Don't expect any apologies for it.

Fight fight fight

Or, y'know, do something less tedious.

No Miss Misery, you're being a misogynistic fuckneck, which makes you no better than her.

theweirdkind wrote:

Blooferlady wrote:

Delcat wrote:

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion.

I thought that was the normal reaction. I hate babies. Do I count because I'm 18? Anathema, where are you on this baby hating train?

WAIT A SECOND GUYS WE HAVE A STATISTIC. 2 OUT OF 2 WOMEN (of 2 interviewed) HATE BABIES. I BET THAT MEANS ALL WOMEN HATE BABIES.

I'm 19 and I can't stand babies. The only time I act like I like them are when I'm at work and the mom expects me to compliment the little bundle of joy.

THAT'S 3/3.

Make that 4/4. Give me a puppy any day.

Am I okay, Wulfie? I used "cunt" as a descriptive anatomical noun rather than a suggestion of state of being, after all.

This bullshit reminds me of something my buddy was raging about a week or so back...

Quote :

And this: "You do not see fat people in concentration camps. Why?
Because they get hardly anything to eat and they have to do a lot of
work."

National MP Maurice Williamson must be muttering into his
whiskers. Two years ago he was pilloried for saying virtually the same
thing: "If some people can't lose weight no matter what, how come there
were no fat people in Nazi concentration camps?"

...yeah, I have nothing to add to that. Enjoy.

All right, so how do we wanna go about this? Spam her articles with comments or what?

Can't we just get someone to put a Gypsy curse on her like in that movie Thinner? Only, in reverse, of course. Oh well, we can dream.

At this point I'd go for the gypsy curse from Drag Me To Hell!

Melissa wrote:

theweirdkind wrote:

Blooferlady wrote:

Delcat wrote:

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion.

I thought that was the normal reaction. I hate babies. Do I count because I'm 18? Anathema, where are you on this baby hating train?

WAIT A SECOND GUYS WE HAVE A STATISTIC. 2 OUT OF 2 WOMEN (of 2 interviewed) HATE BABIES. I BET THAT MEANS ALL WOMEN HATE BABIES.

I'm 19 and I can't stand babies. The only time I act like I like them are when I'm at work and the mom expects me to compliment the little bundle of joy.

THAT'S 3/3.

Make that 4/4. Give me a puppy any day.

5/5! You know I'm always here when baby hating is involved, Bloofer. Should we induct everyone else who responds into the baby hater's club?

Also, so on board with snarking the hell out of this woman.

Well, I've already posted my snark. Where are you guys at?

Narwhal wrote:

At this point I'd go for the gypsy curse from Drag Me To Hell!

Slightly O/T, is that movie any good? I've heard mixed reviews. I liked the Star Trek movie that was done by the same writing team.

Anathema wrote:

Melissa wrote:

theweirdkind wrote:

Blooferlady wrote:

Delcat wrote:

As for the former query about how 21-year-old women react to a baby, this 21-year-old woman reacts to babies with utter revulsion.

I thought that was the normal reaction. I hate babies. Do I count because I'm 18? Anathema, where are you on this baby hating train?

WAIT A SECOND GUYS WE HAVE A STATISTIC. 2 OUT OF 2 WOMEN (of 2 interviewed) HATE BABIES. I BET THAT MEANS ALL WOMEN HATE BABIES.

I'm 19 and I can't stand babies. The only time I act like I like them are when I'm at work and the mom expects me to compliment the little bundle of joy.

THAT'S 3/3.

Make that 4/4. Give me a puppy any day.

5/5! You know I'm always here when baby hating is involved, Bloofer. Should we induct everyone else who responds into the baby hater's club?

Also, so on board with snarking the hell out of this woman.

I love my niece but otherwise do not like babies, especially not newborns. Does that count? If so, 6/6.