Amy Alkon -- fat-hating advice columnist

Knorg wrote:

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Quote :

A 12-year-old pupil at a Liverpool school where fatty drinks and snacks are banned has been suspended for ''crisp dealing'', it is reported.

...the campaign against the salad dodgers may be going to far.

Oh, but don't you know, Knorg? Anything that people do that's remotely unhealthy is anyone's business. And there has to be laws passed against people killing themselves slowly with alcohol/cigarettes/fat filled food/anything fun.

Maximilia wrote:

Oh, but don't you know, Knorg? Anything that people do that's remotely unhealthy is anyone's business. And there has to be laws passed against people killing themselves slowly with alcohol/cigarettes/fat filled food/anything fun.

Well fight the power! Tell 'em they can have your bun when they prise it from your cold, dead, sugar-sprinkled fingers.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Reminds me of 4th grade when I was selling school chocolate on the black market.

Shut the fuck up.

It's the weirdest thing, I was all done and now I just gotta say more!

Whoops. Thought Harley's was the last post in the thread.

It still stands! Gotta post more... bad.... puns....

A'right, say the problem with that school there - they don't want kids eating sweets and crisps because of obesity related disease (amongst other things) but, really, it isn't fatty foods' fault, its families mis-using fatty foods, not allowing kids enough exercise and so on and so forth... so "Buns don't kill people. People kill people."

Also, was reading a fanfic the other day and a character said they had a Chelsea Bun, but from the in text description it was clear that they had a Belgian Bun. This may call for a Bun Fuck-ups thread.

...okay, now I'm done.

My people! I loathe the racist, misogynistic, fatphobic bitch.

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Here's one of her latest, it's all about this poor woobie who grabbed a drunk 15 year old girl (who'd just been gang-raped), took her to his house, the police were called, when they got there, the girl was in his bedroom, and spent 6 years on jail for rape. He was let out because they couldn't prove he'd actually nailed her. Amy was crying buckets about this 'good samaritan' who was only trying to help this incapacitated minor by isolating her in his house, and not contacting the police, her parents or called an ambulance.

Keep in mind, she was in his bedroom. Anyway, cynical me figured that either the cops got there in time before he was rapist #4, or that he used and flushed a condom.

Naturally, most of the posters agreed with Amy and decried the evil feministas who have poisoned society against 'good samaritans' who literally snatch drunk strangers off the streets.

Time for some fat jokes

Knorg wrote:

Time for some fat jokes

holy horrific acting, batman

Hey, that was the work that got Katey hired to voice Futurama!

Jerky wrote:

Here's one of her latest, it's all about this poor woobie who grabbed a drunk 15 year old girl (who'd just been gang-raped), took her to his house, the police were called, when they got there, the girl was in his bedroom, and spent 6 years on jail for rape. He was let out because they couldn't prove he'd actually nailed her.

Wait wait wait.

Wait.

He went to jail for rape when they couldn't ever say for sure that he had ANY sex with her? And you don't see something wrong with that picture?

Sure, he deserves a close look and possibly some thought to a weak kidnapping charge for taking her to his house without her approval and without calling anybody. But for anything to be rape it has to involve some sort of sex. Being in a person's bedroom doesn't count.

jerkstore wrote:

My people! I loathe the racist, misogynistic, fatphobic bitch.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Here's one of her latest, it's all about this poor woobie who grabbed a drunk 15 year old girl (who'd just been gang-raped), took her to his house, the police were called, when they got there, the girl was in his bedroom, and spent 6 years on jail for rape. He was let out because they couldn't prove he'd actually nailed her. Amy was crying buckets about this 'good samaritan' who was only trying to help this incapacitated minor by isolating her in his house, and not contacting the police, her parents or called an ambulance.

Keep in mind, she was in his bedroom. Anyway, cynical me figured that either the cops got there in time before he was rapist #4, or that he used and flushed a condom.

Naturally, most of the posters agreed with Amy and decried the evil feministas who have poisoned society against 'good samaritans' who literally snatch drunk strangers off the streets.

*headdesks* Yeah, because calling the emergency number as soon as possible and getting her to a hospital ISN'T the thing to do in these circumstances!

Amy Alkon wrote:

An apparent good Samaritan, who took a drunk girl in out of the rain
and gave her a bed in his house, got accused of rape, and convicted,
too, despite a lack of evidence that he'd had any sexual contact with
her.

You know what, while the Good Samaritan did offer immediate emergency 'first aid', I think he took the guy to an inn, i.e., a public place. He didn't cart the dude back to his home in secret.

Amy Alkon wrote:

Imagine how this man's life has been upended by this prosecution. How
much it cost him, in time, money, psychic energy, friends, respect of
people who know him, and more. Chances are, much of that can never be
replaced.

And imagine how that might never have happened if he had just taken the girl to the hospital and alerted the authorities, instead of carting her back home where, guess what, she could have died in his bed if she had had a bad injury, such as a head injury that caused her unconsciousness (as some of Amy commentators have pointed out).

E. Steve Berkimer wrote:

What is the most galling thing to me, is all the people who focus, not
on what crime was actually committed, but on a perceived lack of
judgment on this mans part. Never mind he was helping someone in
trouble, just jump all over him for things that no one here can know.

*headdesks again* No, it's not a perceived lack of judgment, it IS a lack of judgment.

the same guy wrote:

Very few of you are bothering to focus on the fact that this girl
was 15, drunk off her ass, and falsely accused someone of raping her.
Who exactly is the dumbass in this picture? And guess what? Odds are,
she'll walk away from the whole thing, with not a bit of punishment.

Yeah, because if I was incapacitated, had a foggy memory or NO memory of what happened to me one night, and I woke up the next morning in a strange bedroom in the house of an older man who I didn't know, I wouldn't wonder what the hell had gone or wonder if that kindly stranger had decided to rape me while I was out! No sir, there would be no question in my mind that nothing like that had gone on!

Good God, we've stumbled across the female equivalent of Glen Beck! :panic:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Good God, we've stumbled across the female equivalent of Glen Beck! :panic:

Well, we'd actually have to see her cry first, and try to be FOR THE PEOPLE U GAIZ SERIOUSLY

Glenn Beck, I think, tries to come across as more of a 'charming, home-loving, patriotic, brave, smart' soul, than a 'magnificent bastard' soul. Amy Alkon TRIES to be a magnificent bastard but, see, to do that, you actually have to know how to do shit.

theweirdkind wrote:

InkWeaver wrote:

I'm with Delcat. Let's snark the shit out of her stuff. INTERNET SUPERHEROES AWAYYYYYYY

We need a cape.

Bamshalam wrote:

Delcat wrote:

...this.
This right here. I've been trying for months to put a finger on why
Lawlita always rubbed me the wrong way, and this is it. Thank you,
Bamshalam.

Yeah. I just remember deciding not to like her after the whole "OH MY GAWD TYRA WANTS SHORT MODELS, THE BLASPHEMY" thread she started. She seemed to have really high standards for others' appearances when her own was...well, yeah. Not gonna go there.

Go there, please. I always remember her slipping out something about her being in a model agency, and I would go "lolwut?"

I know I'm late on this, but the term you were all dancing around is "phallic nose". Not being a bitch, just stating a fact.

theweirdkind wrote:

Go there, please. I always remember her slipping out something about her being in a model agency, and I would go "lolwut?"

Yeah, her aunt's.

I'm glad I never saw that. It's always been kinda funny to me how female models need to be very tall, but how women are supposed to be shorter than men to be "appropriate" or something.

Also, there's a good example of how being in a modelling agency doesn't automatically make you a model.

Oh, goody. She has a book out.

And she is also thin-skinned and unhinged.

Dear GOD, I hope the man she stalked gets a lawyer. I would love to see her whining to a judge, "he was so MEEEEAN and I just had to do something to protect my e-honor! Because like Chris91 says, you have to protect that at all costs!"

Twonky wrote:

Oh, goody. She has a book out.

For some reason, when I clicked that Something Terrible happened. The window kept opening, over and over. Imagine my horror as the screen slowly filled with Amy Alkon! Amy Alkon! Amy Alkon!

I had to hard crash my computer to make it stop.

good god this topic is as old as forever... I know I read intot his before but 16 pages is damn. long.

...I just wonder, should I be concerned that someone keeps calling for Jessica Leonard on my cell phone? I mean, I is teh tubby but rly??

/end English.exe