Your Top 10 Worst Movies of the 2000's

Blooferlady wrote:

ZoZo wrote:

Penguin wrote:

2001 - Donnie Darko. What an
utter waste of time.

I didn't like it either. People always
looked at me like I had an extra head for thinking that.

I finally watched it recently and am still confused.

I was going to make a post about the additional material on the (very, very creepy) interactive website making a lot of difference in regard to how you view Donnie Darko and why, but every time I look at your avatar I get really distracted for some reason.

...nnf.

Delcat wrote:

Blooferlady wrote:

I finally watched it recently and am still confused.

I was going to make a post about the additional material on the (very, very creepy) interactive website making a lot of difference in regard to how you view Donnie Darko and why, but every time I look at your avatar I get really distracted for some reason.

...nnf.

Oh, I wonder why.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


But I will check that website out, since now I want to know.

KelinciHutan wrote:

2001 - Moulin Rouge!
This movie attempts to distract you from the fact that it has a fairly boring and predictable plot by really, really colorful and overwhelming song and dance numbers. And, to their credit, the singing and dancing does not entirely suck. Unfortunately, they only exacerbate the overwhelmingly odd final product. Maybe this movie is better when you are high?

It is. Trust.

KelinciHutan wrote:

2002 - One Hour Photo
You may not have seen this movie. It didn't do so well. It tries very, very hard to be just as interesting and psychological as Silence of the Lambs and fails miserably. Robin Williams' obliquely relevant commentary on such riveting subjects as photo development don't exactly help.

EEEEEH

Parts of that movie worked, and I was pretty impressed with Robin Williams' performance. I just wish that, you know, something happened in it. There are a few scenes that get that sort of a ugh, fucking weird gut reaction like when he's sitting on the family's toilet a;sdlfkuef but for the most part I agree. Good effort on...well, everyone's part actually, it just didn't work.

Maximilia wrote:

Oh, man, I loved Death to Smoochy. Seriously. It was a black comedy, like War of the Roses and The Cable Guy... and I adore black comedies. And yes, I'm the only person I know of who actually enjoyed The Cable Guy.

A bit of a throwback, but have you seen Shakes the Clown? Similar idea to Smoochy. The back cover describes it as 'The Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.'

Delcat wrote:

Lapin wrote:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This was the biggest waste of $9 ever. And I really mean that. I really, really, really mean that. This was the most boring movie I have ever seen in my life, and that includes all those educational movies we had to watch in school.

Montages. Oh gawd, the montages. On, and on, and on, and on, and on. Not only that, I didn't care about the main character. He was dull and lifeless. The characters around him were interesting, but we never really saw them a lot. The focus was all on the flat main character and his absolute boringness. He never did anything interesting at all, beyond fucking exist. Congratulations, you are now as interesting as a sea cucumber, instead of a rock.

There really isn't anything else to complain about, because nothing else happened. Nothing but montages and dullness.

Dude, what the fucking fuck is wrong with you? How can you disparage a thing of beauty like that? Defensive fucking organ vomiting, you petty bitch! How the hell is that not interesting to you?

I stand corrected. That's certainly interesting. Absolutely disgusting, but interesting.

He's as interesting as a pillbug, how about that?

Blooferlady wrote:

But I will check that website out, since now I want to know.

It's right here. I found it before ever hearing about the movie, and it creeped me out like nothing else, so it gave me a unique mindset to watch the movie with. It does come down to individual taste, though--there's just something about Donnie Darko that unsettles me like nothing else, and I can't explain why.

...I'll be in my bunk.

ETA:

Lapin wrote:

He's as interesting as a pillbug, how about that?

Well, pillbugs are neat and cute, but not necessarily interesting. Therefore, I accept these terms. It's a pleasure negotiating with you.

TheHedonist wrote:

A bit of a throwback, but have you seen Shakes the Clown? Similar idea to Smoochy. The back cover describes it as 'The Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.'

aghrhghgrhglggsh;;; FUCK YOU for making me think of that atrocity [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Can't believe I paid $20 for that... The only things remotely interesting in it were Tom Kenny as a foul-mouthed junkie villain, and the "make it look like there's been a fight" part, which I fully admit made me laugh until I cried.

Gigli is the worst movie of the decade, hands down. It's by far the worst I've ever watched. I'm baffled that any studio paid 54 million dollars on this POS, which tried way, way too hard to be "hip" and "sassy." Even worse, the movie brought J. Lo and Ben Affleck together, and the media would NOT. Shut. THE FUCK. UP about this couple. The press Britney Spear's wacky hijinx got post Justin Timberlake break up is like local news compared to all the Bennifer this and Bennifer that shit in 2003. And they still broke up two days before their wedding.

But I digress.

Interesting factoid: the movie rental store in my neighborhood had nearly every copy for sale for three dollars the monday after it was released on DVD. Personally, I think that's way too much to spend on a pretty new coaster.

Napoleon Dynamite is a very close second. I've watched this movie twice form beginning to end, and I don't see what's funny about this. At all.

DarthDarthington wrote:

TheHedonist wrote:

A bit of a throwback, but have you seen Shakes the Clown? Similar idea to Smoochy. The back cover describes it as 'The Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.'

aghrhghgrhglggsh;;; FUCK YOU for making me think of that atrocity [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Can't believe I paid $20 for that... The only things remotely interesting in it were Tom Kenny as a foul-mouthed junkie villain, and the "make it look like there's been a fight" part, which I fully admit made me laugh until I cried.

I fucking love that movie.

I acknowledge that there are millions of things wrong with it. It's poorly produced and directed, the music hurts my ears, and honestly there's no one to actually like, but the entire thing has such a consistently self-depreciating air to it that I couldn't help but love it. Also, Julie Brown. I feel like the point is that clown makeup makes absolutely everything funny, including what is actually a really pathetic story about an alcoholic who gets framed for murder.

tl;dr LEAVE ME ALONE, MILKMAN SCUM

The Master of Disguise and Pluto Nash. Nuff said.

Since I'm not a super huge movie goer, there's going to be a lot of shitty movies that don't make my list -- simply because I haven't bothered to watch them. However, a few unfortunates slipped through the cracks. Here they be:

1. For 2000, Bring It On. It's sports movie, except cut and paste stereotypical cheerleaders as the characters with a very boring generic plot.

2. I almost picked Moulin Rouge for 2001 because I seriously can't fucking stand to watch more than ten minutes of that movie at a time. But then I remembered The Animal. In the event that you've blocked its awfulness from your memories, it's a Rob fucking Schneider movie. That's all you need to know.

3. 2002 was crammed-packed with mind-numbing "family" movies that I was probably too old to properly appreciate. Therefore, this year's worst movie is The Hot Chick. Mr. Schneider wins again.

4. Since I never actually watched Gigli, the winner for 2003 is Daddy Daycare. Really, people. Is it THAT HARD to make a kid-friendly comedy without it being bumfuck retarded?

5. 2004 gave us the wonderful joy of White Chicks. May it forever stand as an example of everything not to do when writing the script for your next box office comedy.

6. In 2005, Son of the Mask was born. Its very existence should say something about how terrible it is.

7. One fine day in 2006, my mother thought it would be a fantastic idea to sit down and watch The New World. Two hours later, we were still wanting for something resembling a plot to arrive. They might as well have named it Pocahontas Picks Corn (And Other Fun Native American Activities).

8. I don't what convinced me to leave the comfort of my couch in 2007 to get up and pay actual money to see Epic Movie, but I did. And I feel incredibly ashamed of myself for doing it. It is, hands down, the worst movie I have ever seen ever. EVER.

9. I never saw Twilight or Meet the Spartans, so my worst for 2008 would have to be... um. Er... Actually, I can't really think of anything. After Epic Movie, my will to pay for seeing shit just kind of died, and I actively avoided watching anything that other people said was even remotely bad. Moving on...

10. Last December, my brother outright REFUSED to go see The Princess and the Frog with me and whatever the hell generic action was playing at the time wasn't something I cared to watch. So, we compromised, and I bought two tickets for Old Dogs. I died a little inside with each passing second, all the while wishing I'd picked the generic action movie instead. It's only redeeming quality is not being Epic Movie.

I'm slightly surprised that The Strangers has yet to be mentioned. It was certainly one of the most excruciatingly dull, claustrophobic moviewatching experiences I have yet suffered through. Nothing but loud noises and stupid suburbanites. I hate it when you realize 30 minutes into a movie that nothing in the next hour to 90 minutes will surprise, delight, or interest you, because there's so little intellectual stimulation in the movie. Basically, three teenagers decide to torture and kill these two people stuck alone in this house. They sort of succeed. You sort of don't care.

And I definitely agree about Transformers. I heard that the sequel was worse, but I had no intention of going.

A friend of mine saw 30 minutes of Queen of the Damned and the next day saw fit to call me up and berate me about my liking parts of the Vampire Chronicles. I still refuse to watch it, or go near it, or mention it in polite company.

No love for Knowing, that Nicholas Cage movie? And when i say love, I mean red-hot fiery hatred that bubbles from the darkest corner of my black heart?

The first half features the misadventures of strawman atheist Cage chewing up scenery like there's no tomorrow and a group of weird aliens doing weird alien shit. It seemed destined to be a firmly mediocre movie to be quickly forgotten ...but a plot twist out of nowhere in the last 15 minutes of the movie shows us that the weird aliens were actually ANGELS omg! sent here to save a few select children and leave the rest of the planet to fry because some solar flare bullshit.

Not only are the aliens/angels complete dicks, we're supposed to Cage's last-minute conversion endearing, even though the angels come off like complete assholes. DO NOT WANT.

Ceres wrote:

Describes plot of 'Knowing'.

*blink, blink*



So God can save a few children, but not stop a solar flare? What part of 'omnipotent' did the writer's not understand?

*Ghost is quite glad he did not waste money on this.*

So, I'm sort of a huge movie fan.. so I know what I'll like, and I know what I'll hate, so I try and avoid the ones I'll hate... but then THESE movies come along, and trick me.

2009: Its a tie between Avatar and The Unborn. Both were super predictable, but on the upside for Avatar, the visuals WERE nice, and for the Unborn... well.. Gary Oldman was in it. He tricked me.

2008: Twilight. Need I say more? I didn't even think this was going to be good, but, my little sister dragged me along with promises of Vampires. I knew nothing of the books, but when I saw those sparkles... I almost left my sister there alone.

2007:Epic Movie. Ever since this pile of crap, I've highly avoided all the movies these idiots make. Scary Movie was good. Scary Movie 2 was ok. Then they all went downhill from there, and then you get retarded shit like this. I laughed at ONE joke, and only because it was a refrence to a much better movie, American Pie.

2006: Happy Feet This is just insanely annoying.

2005: Waiting This time, I was tricked by Ryan Reynolds. I loved him in so many other things, but with this movie, I can't even remember anything about it except that I vowed never to watch it again.

2004: Seed of Chucky. It saddens me to say this, because Chucky, and the other 4 movies... well, I absolutely adore them. But this movie... well.. they basically just raped Chucky. Tiffany looked different, and I didn't like it, and why the fuck could they not pick a gender for the goddamn kid? YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES. The jokes just make me feel embarrassed for the movie.

2003: I seem to have avoided all shit-tastic movies that year.

2002: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Something about this movie just irritates the hell out of me.

2001: I seem to have avoided seeing anything bad from this year too. Including Pearl Harbor. Neeever saw it.

2000: Chicken Run: I remember seeing this once when it came out, and then never wanting to see it ever again. So I haven't.

Lysander wrote:

BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Did none of you people see this? It's clearly the worst major studio production of the entire decade.

The line "before you could SPELL YOUR OWN NAME" still makes me laugh hysterically.
But yeah, that movie blew.

FreakEgg wrote:

2006: Happy Feet This is just insanely annoying.

It actually disturbed me a little, with the mood whiplash. Okay, let's watch the nice happy film about a dancing penguin in a society of singing penguins! Let's watch the wacky fat ethnic penguin wheezing and choking from his comedy necklace! Let's watch the adorable main character imprisoned and hallucinating and numb with depression! It's like Short Circuit 2 all over again, but with more beatings.

Not even Bonnie Tyler could have rescued this film.

Also, pretty much everyone Robin Williams voices is probably racist.

Nihilist wrote:

Quote :

Tiffany looked different, and I didn't like it, and why the fuck could they not pick a gender for the goddamn kid? YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.

lol

Would swapping "gender" out for "sex" avert the coming storm?

Sutremaine wrote:

FreakEgg wrote:

2006: Happy Feet This is just insanely annoying.

It actually disturbed me a little, with the mood whiplash. Okay, let's watch the nice happy film about a dancing penguin in a society of singing penguins! Let's watch the wacky fat ethnic penguin wheezing and choking from his comedy necklace! Let's watch the adorable main character imprisoned and hallucinating and numb with depression! It's like Short Circuit 2 all over again, but with more beatings.

Not even Bonnie Tyler could have rescued this film.

The zoo scene deserved to be the ending of a much better film. Pixar-level depressing right there.

gaijinguy wrote:

Would swapping "gender" out for "sex" avert the coming storm?

Close enough unless it's right on the dividing line, and at that point you might as well flip a coin. Or wait until the kid grows up a little and makes it clear, which would save a lot of trouble in the long run.

Nihilist wrote:

gaijinguy wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Quote :

Tiffany looked different, and I didn't like it, and why the fuck could they not pick a gender for the goddamn kid? YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.

lol

Would swapping "gender" out for "sex" avert the coming storm?

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what's it's all about, all right. But talkin' about it and bein' it, that's two different things. I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em.

. . .

Is this a movie quote or something?

It's fascinating. Or course, it's gibberish, but it's fascinating none the less.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

gaijinguy wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Quote :

Tiffany looked different, and I didn't like it, and why the fuck could they not pick a gender for the goddamn kid? YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.

lol

Would swapping "gender" out for "sex" avert the coming storm?

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what's it's all about, all right. But talkin' about it and bein' it, that's two different things. I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em.

. . .

Is this a movie quote or something?

It's fascinating. Or course, it's gibberish, but it's fascinating none the less.

Its from Easy Rider, I'm pretty sure.

FreakEgg wrote:

2000: Chicken Run: I remember seeing this once when it came out, and then never wanting to see it ever again. So I haven't.

This resonated with me; I hate CR but I rarely get to rant about it. I know that children's cinema has a long history of successful animal snuff with a humans-are-evil vibe (see Bambi, Old Yeller, God only knows how many others), but that's no excuse for remaking Schindler's List. With claymation chickens. For kids. That movie was fucking disturbing and lacked the charm that made Bambi a classic.

Sorry to necropost.