Your Top 10 Worst Movies of the 2000's

I love movies. Seriously, movies are my favorite form of entertainment. I go see movies as often as I can afford. I once went without eating for two days because I wanted to see a movie instead. This is why I'm super-pissed when a movie sucks.

So we all have them. Our Top Ten. Well, since I was actually eleven years old in 2000 (How many of you felt old right when I said that?), most of the earlier films I did not in fact see in a theater. I saw them later on in life.

Now, these are not necessarily the worst movies ever of their particular years. This is opinion based on the ones I saw. So while I think one particular movie was the worst of 2000, one of you might have seen something much worse.

In this thread, I really want the lists to mainly be the big box-office kind. There are too many tiny independent films never seen by anyone but a few hundred people that suck. So let's go with the ones that actually got a box office release.

So I'm going to give my top ten, one for every year, and the reason why I loathed it, and I hope you share yours too.

2000

What Women Want

I really can't express how much I hate this movie and its blatant misogyny. The main character is an asshole to women, and when he can read their minds, all they're thinking about is how hot he is. Really? Are you kidding me?

The misogyny, and that it bores me to tears.

2001

Pearl Harbor (No, I never saw Glitter, nor do I intend to)

My hatred of Pearl Harbor is directly related to my hatred of overdramatic romances, not to mention how the movie took one of the most tragic occurrences in United States' history, and used it as a dramatic backdrop for some gawddamn love triangle. Yeah, I need to repeat that just because it annoys me so damn much. They used Pearl Harbor as a backdrop for a love triangle.

As for the overdramatic romance, not only was it laughable due to the sheer tragic!melodrama, it was just boring. I couldn't muster up a single bit of empathy or sympathy for any of the characters, due to their flatness. They weren't characters, they were archetypes. They were archetypes left to their bare bones without any indiviuality built up around them. Matt Damon, I have seen you act. I know you can do it. This is unexcusable!

Yeah, I really can't stand Michael Bay when he tries to pretend he has talent.

2002

A Walk To Remember

This actually beat out the Star Wars prequel that came out in 2002. How did it do that? I mean, I like Mandy Moore.

Because the female lead is a Twagic!Sue, and the male lead is the man she's supposed to “save”. Twagic!Sues have always annoyed me more than others, just because of how much they make the world revolve around themselves when they're put in a story, by not doing a damn thing but existing. And the female lead is absolutely perfect. And I mean perfect. She's modest even though she's talented. She beautiful, but of course doesn't know it. She's gentle and forgiving of every transgression.

Oh, and she's dying. And she truly goes down like a Sue. She gets pale and thin and needs to lean on someone to walk. We see no other problems with her illness. And she never gets upset or starts blaming everyone. She just bravely accepts it, with a gentle smile.

Excuse me, I need to bang my head against a wall.

2003

Daredevil

Now, in 2003, there were a dozen bad movies. Really bad ones. This was the year the Lizzie Maguire movie, What A Girl Wants, and the last Matrix movie came out. At least, I think it was the last one. I don't know, they're all dull.

I choose Daredevil as my most hated movie of 2003 because I really can't stand it. I've never been a big fan of Daredevil, but I thought a major motion picture might make it a little flashier and at leats give me some fun fights to watch. What did I get? I got poor pacing, contrived conversations, a slow plot and one cool villain that quickly degraded into annoying. The female lead, Elektra, could have been awesome, but she never really became three-dimensional. She was just sort of there, even though she was an integral part of the plot. How does that even happen? For that matter, Daredevil himself was pretty flat.

I feel these problems had more to do with the casting choices. Ben Afleck was just not doing very well in this year. He has since improved, gradually. A bit. He doesn't irritate me so much, and that's an improvement.

2004

The Polar Express

I nearly chose that stupid Napoleon Dynamite movie for 2004, but the thing is, I have only seen parts of it and feel it would be unfair. Even though I do in fact hate it deeply.

But I've chosen Polar Express because I've seen the whole thing through multiple times. And Jeezus do I hate it. It is unattractive, for one. If they were going to cast actors, why didn't they just have a live-action movie? But no, they chose this unattractive animation. I'm not even sure what it is about it that's so damn ugly, but it is.

The movie is annoying because it tries too hard. It really wants to be a Christmas classic, in line with Charlie Brown and Dr. Seuss, and you can feel that desperation, and its just pitiful. It tries, but the desperation leaks through, and its just dull. The plot really doesn't capture your interest. It is just there.

Also, what was with the Aerosmith elves at the end? Seriously, what was up with that?

2005

The Island

It actually took me a bit to come up with the worst movie of 2005 for me. I didn't see a lot of bad movies this year, even though I know some were awful. I still didn't see them, and I don't think its fair to make fun of a movie I never saw.

I don't really have a lot to say about this movie. It was really boring and I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Also, it seemed to have a lot of plot holes. How the hell did they hide that facility in the first place? And why didn't they just grow the clones without brains so that they'd be vegetables and couldn't, you know, find out about the whole scheme and escape?

Just saying.

2006

Tristan & Isolde

I have the same problems with Tristan & Isolde as I do with Romeo & Juliet; the main characters are just stupid. They really are. Why the hell did these people not do the glass trick to make sure he was dead? You can do it with a sword. They had swords aplenty swiishing around. And then she gives him a fake name, which was just stupid anyway, but after they had sex, why didn't she tell him her real name?

And when he won the girl for his master, why didn't he tell him the truth and explain the situation? If he knew he wasn't going to be able to resist temptation, why didn't he ask to be sent on journeys, or just keep himself away from her? Why would he fuck everything up just because he was hot for her? Why would she? She was a princess, she knew this shit wouldn't go down well.

These people were stupid and I was glad when they died. Darwin strikes again!

2007

Bee Movie

Do I even need to describe this awful, awful movie? I was already annoyed with it before it even came out due its viral marketing that drove me up the wall. Note to advertisers: Viral marketing is supposed to make you want to see the movie, not make people want to throw things at your heads.

This movie was just stupid. The voice acting was terrible, the romance was disturbing, the jokes weren't funny, and the plot was just aggravitingly nonsensical.

There was nothing redeemable about this movie. I want to find the original copies of it and set them on fire, that's how much I hate this movie.

2008

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This was the biggest waste of $9 ever. And I really mean that. I really, really, really mean that. This was the most boring movie I have ever seen in my life, and that includes all those educational movies we had to watch in school.

Montages. Oh gawd, the montages. On, and on, and on, and on, and on. Not only that, I didn't care about the main character. He was dull and lifeless. The characters around him were interesting, but we never really saw them a lot. The focus was all on the flat main character and his absolute boringness. He never did anything interesting at all, beyond fucking exist. Congratulations, you are now as interesting as a sea cucumber, instead of a rock.

There really isn't anything else to complain about, because nothing else happened. Nothing but montages and dullness.

2009

Avatar

James Cameron, I hate you. Seriously, this movie was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

And absolutely dull.

We already have a thread about it, and I agree with pretty much everything said. The aliens aren't aliens. They're tall blue people. They make the same facial expression as us, they gesticulate the same as us, they kiss the same as us, they have sex the same way as us.

The metaphor was hamfisted, the bad guys were just archetype Bad Guys. It was like Cameron went through TV Tropes and used it as a guideline without adding a single thing. The only redeemable characters were the main females, and he killed them off. Damn it Cameron, you couldn't kill of the male lead again?


So, those were my worst movies for every year of the past ten. What are yours?

Hm. Interesting.

Of the ones that I have seen, these would be my worst.

2000
Scream 3
Ugh. Just UGH. I loved Scream. It was self-aware, and almost a parody... perhaps a satire of the entire genre? Whatever, I thought it was brilliant. Scream 2 is one of my faves as well, just because it WAS slightly campy, and OH, left FIELD the MOM did it. Awesome. Scream 3? Other than the cameo by Jay and Silent Bob, this was a total waste of time. NO BACKWRITING, WRITERS! BAD! Turns out, Sidney had an illegitimate brother from when her mother was gang raped by this director of a movie (who wasn't mentioned in previous films) and aalsfja;sdlkfjasdl;fjasd;j DIE MOVIE DIE.

2001
Artificial Intelligence: AI
Almost... almost it was Pearl Harbor. However, Pearl Harbor had Ben Affleck in it, and when I can zone out the horrible writing and script and movie in general, I can at least just stare at Ben Affleck and lust. AI, even though it has Jude Law in it, was just terrible. Steven Spielberg should not try to interpret Stanley Kubrick. *angry face* It was boring, and when it wasn't boring, it was preachy. And the movie would never fucking end. Every time I thought it would, it kept going on!

2002
Queen of the Damned
Man, it's an insult to dedicate the movie to Aaliyah, even though she died right after making it. This was a horrible interpretation of one of Anne Rice's "eh, ok" books. It was painful to watch, and Aaliyah was so fucking horrible in this movie, she made my head vibrate with rage every time she was on screen. And what's his face as Lestat? Huh? That made even less sense than Tom-fucking-Cruise as Lestat... but Tom Cruise pulled off the attitude at least! (and at the time, with less crazy, he was better to look at too) Honorable Mention: Jackass, the movie, and Maid in Manhattan

2003
Dreamcatcher
Hulk almost beat out this one, but at least whenever the Hulk was on the screen, I could imagine Ang Lee dressed in spandex with ping pong balls attached to him making all the Hulk's movements (Ang Lee did the motion capture for the Hulk), which made it giggle worthy. Dreamcatcher? Man, it had Jason Lee in it, and I love Jason Lee, except... this story was just horrible. Stephen King has problems with movies, and this was about every reason why. Bad acting, stupid plot, transparent villains, stupid aliens, rehashed 'childhood friends live through a tragedy and/or get speshul powers that don't really do anything'... and shit weasels. Ok, that was at least moderately horrifying, but SHIT. WEASELS.

2004
The Village
WHAT THE FUCK, M. NYGHT? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! It would have been better had it been a serial killer in the village. Or a monster. A real monster. BUT NO. IT WAS A MENTALLY HANDICAPPED MAN WHO WAS JEALOUS OR SOMETHING! And the whole 'Oh, the murder rate in the Towns were horrible', 'My sister got killed brutally in the Towns' blah blah blah. And what the shit with the whole village thing in the middle of a forest preserve with NO signs of civilization? How would that even be feasible? What's sad is that in the first twenty minutes I had all the "twists" figured out. Utterly predictable.

2005
War of the Worlds
Wow, 2005 had a lot of bad movies... which I avoided. So, I can't name them here, since this is only out of ones I've seen. However, War of the Worlds, regardless, would have been a top candidate. Tom Cruise just needs to go the hell away now. And Steven Spielberg needs to stop making big-budget films until he remembers what a good story is. If I could sum up this movie, it would be Dakota Fanning making big eyes at the camera and screaming a lot, and improbabilities with traveling. Seriously, how in the fuck did the son--on foot--beat the family there when they had transport most of the time?

2006
X-Men: The Last Stand
*bangs head against desk* There was so much wrong with this movie. Most notably comes with "I'm the JUGGERNAUT BITCH!" and with the killing of Xavier... although perhaps he just wanted out of the franchise. With this movie, I don't blame him. And, hello, raping of the Phoenix storyline? And killing Cyclops, who was Jean's real true love just to have Hugh Jackman's Wolverine take his place? WAT.

2007
The Golden Compass
Oooh. It was almost Transformers. Transformers bored the hell out of me. A movie with explosions and giant robots BORED me. Something is wrong there. However, The Golden Compass has to take the worst spot here. Holy fucking shit. Let's just hit us all over the head a little harder with the anti-church message, huh? And what the hell is wrong with sadomasochistic one-eyed monkey-slapping Nicole Kidman's character? Also, whenever the action got a little slow... BAM! POLAR BEAR!

2008
The Day the Earth Stood Still
STOP REMAKING CLASSIC SCI-FI MOVIES. Nuff said.

2009
My Bloody Valentine 3-D
Whew! This year almost kicked my ass because I haven't gone out to the movies that much recently... so I was like, "OMFG do I have to put Watchmen down?!" Thankfully, due to my brother, I borrowed My Bloody Valentine. And yeah... it was horrible. Not scary, very cliched, no sex at alll, and like The Village, I figured out all the "twists" in about fifteen minutes.

EDIT: Edited to clarify 'The Village'. Not that it's really possible. And also, repetitive phrase is repetitive.

Right, I'll try to pick ones that haven't appeared up here yet. I should be able to do it. Let's see...

2000: Scary Movie The film that launched eleven billion even less funny sequels. I don't even find it funny when I'm high which is really saying something. Once I sat there for ages laughing and clapping in delight at a fibre optic Christmas tree. I might have giggled the first time I watched it, but due to the quantity of sequels and rip offs, this definitely gets in there for me.

2001: Captain Corelli's Mandolin I suspect I've probably ranted about this at length but I'll do it yet again. This is one of my favourite books, and the film absolutely shat all over it. Nicholas Cage spent the whole thing looking like he was desperate for a piss, and spoke like he'd learned his accent off of a Cornetto advert. Penelope Cruz was... there. Just there. Nothing else. And oh! How they ruined the ending! It's been almost nine years. It still hurts.

2002: Signs Once I had a nightmare that someone was trying to make me watch Signs. I was alone in the house, and wherever I ran, Signs was playing all over massive screens. Really. That's how much I hated this stupid film with its stupid Mel Gibson and its stupid aliens who stupidly invade a planet covered in water even though it makes them go dead.

2003: The Matrix Reloaded Once again, the crushing disappointment factor. And that horrid, horrid, horrid sex scene is permanently burned into my brain.

2004: Troy The only good thing I can say about Troy is that you get to see Brad Pitt's bum. For about two seconds. In a two and a half hour film. The worst thing? Orlando Bloom.

2005: Pride and Prejudice I loathed the book (there, I said it), but the film was a thousand times worse. Like the aforementioned Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley is a charisma black hole. She makes everything boring when she is on screen.

2006: V For Vendetta Similar reasons to my hatred of Captain Corelli's Mandolin, V For Vendetta is a stunning example of people shitting liberally all over the source material and missing the point entirely. How they managed to get fascism confused with neoconservatism is beyond me. It does have a redeeming feature. Shaved!Natalie Portman does strange things to me.

2007: The third Pirates of the Caribbean. I can't even remember the name of it. I should mention now that I often go to the pub before I go to the cinema, and therefore tend to enjoy really bad films as long as they have enough pretty people and EXPLOSIONS to look at. I kind of liked The Island, for example. There, I said it. No amount of alcohol could make this film make sense, and combined with triple threat of Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley and Not Enough Johnny Depp, this made me angry.

2008: Sex and the City. It makes me hate women. Correction: it makes me think I hate women. I actually just hate those four women, and the bunch of screeching harpies who were sitting in the cinema dolled up (as though Carrie et al. could see them) and cackling like an 80s sitcom audience.

2009: That second Transformers film. Saw it sober. Big mistake.

I stopped watching more than the ocassional movie in 2007 and only started again recently, so I'm only going until 2006.

2001 - Shallow Hal
I didn't see Pearl Harbour, which may have been worse, but I did see this and holy fuck on a stick, it's the most boring piece of shit I've ever witnessed. Nothing fucking happens for HUGE tranches of it. And the really hot girl is a bitch on the inside whilst the fat girl is really nice? Wow, original thinking there, Bob.

2002 - Jason X
Re-boot of an existing franchise? Check. Stupid characters? Check. Rubbish plot & script? Check. Half the characters incapable of keeping their pants on? Check. Guy taking time out to fuck a robot even though he knows there's an unstoppable killer aboard? Check. Referring to a cyborgised Jason as "Uber Jason" in the credits? CHECK MATE! It's actually quite a bit shittier than Nemesis and just about shittier than Attack of the Clones. Just. Bad year for SciFi, 2002.

2003 - 2 Fast 2 Furious
I can't believe I actually sat down and watched this, I almost went blind. Flimsy plot and awful acting.

2004 - The Chronicles of Riddick
Talk about an unnecessary sequel. Pitch Black had the distinction of being a decent movie with Vin Diesel in it. But just to bring down his success rate, this piece of shit was served up. Instead of just being a criminal who was in the right (or wrong) place at the right (or wrong) time, Riddick becomes some bullshit child of prophecy. Yay. Jack / Kyra becoming a criminal simply because she wanted to find Riddick isn't believable, most of the script is cringeworthy and I'll keep my commentary sparse on the Necromongers. The name implies they sell dead things, instead they're Romanesque conqueres trying to conquer their way to some sort of Undervese... yeah, okay. What the fuck was Judi Dench thinkinh when she signed up for it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

2005 - A Sound of Thunder
What's this doing here instead of Revenge of the Shith? Quite simply, A Sound of Thunder is the worst movie I've ever seen. The script is utter, utter, bollocksology. How does killing a single butterfly millions of years in the past change the earth's climate, create raptor-baboons, create a swarm of beetles limited to one apartment complex, and turn humans into little blue aliens? And shouldn't it do it all at fucking once too instead of in bullshit "time-waves"? No one in it bothers acting properly. Ben Kingsley (who bailed out half way through production) goes around with what looks like a white persian cat on his head. And I cannot express the poor quality of the "special effects" in words. They need to be seen.
The following will give you a hint of the awful: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Look at the cereal box, I mean car, at 1:26.
The budget for this film was $80 million.
EDIT: Oh, and when one of them is critically injured and stays behind to distract the raptor-baboons, and when I say distract, I mean sit there and let them eat him, what does the main character do instead of running like fuck? He moves about 20 feet away and then watches the whole thing because he's a sick fuck.

2006 - X Men: The Last Stand
This probably wasn't the worst movie released in 2006 (I have it on good authority that Happy Feet was terrible, and Scary Movie 4 can't possibly have been good), but it's the worst I saw from that year, and was a weak, weak, film. I appreciate they had to write half the characters out of it, but they didn't need to make into X Men: The Jean Grey Story. Also, Rogue getting "cured". Nooo...

In case you're wondering why there are so many movies here you probably avoided like the plague, I go out of my way to watch bad movies. If a movie has under 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, I'm all over it.

2000
Dungeons & Dragons
AKA "Holy shit Jeremy Irons!" Seriously, he's hilarious. And good lord! One of the main villains has bright blue lips! Yeah, that's totally threatening. It's called Dungeons & Dragons which you'd think (aside from it being a horrible idea in the first place) would mean that it would market itself towards geeks, since most people tend to stay far, far away from anything D&D-related, but no! There was very little actually related to the D&D game itself. What little that is related is either used wrong or is a bad idea to bring into a movie. It's like someone took all the horrible D&D plot and character clichés that everybody hopes they can avoid and made them into a film. Everything that isn't completely derivative (you know, only partially derivative - and that's giving this movie credit) plays out like it was written by a thirteen-year-old.

2001
Freddy Got Fingered
I don't even know where to begin. Just watch that fucking trailer. The movie is exactly like that, except less funny. That's right less funny. Is it possible to be less funny than that trailer? Yes. Yes it is. I mean, I laughed a number of times watching it, but that's because I love bad movies. I love laughing at bad movies. Every single one of the times I laughed during this movie it was because I couldn't believe the movie had just done something as horrible as it had just done. Jesus fucking Christ. This might be one of the worst movies ever.

2002
Sidenote: I loved Death to Smoochy too much to include it in this list. I loved it like I love The Wicker Man, which will also not be appearing in this list, despite being a massacre of a movie.
Star Trek: Nemesis
Holy fuck this was a bad year. I had to refresh my memory by looking at a list of what came out this year and dear lord I may have to come up with a few honorable mentions. The Adventures of Pluto Nash came out that year. So did Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever - the worst reviewed movie ever according to Rotten Tomatoes. Jason X, Stuart Little 2, The Tuxedo... but purely for blind murderous rage reasons I have to give my award to Star Trek: Nemesis. That bald guy in the trailer? He's Picard's Clone. Because he totally looks like Picard. Totally. By the way, that's the big reveal of this movie. Way to put it in the trailer, Paramount. That second Data that the trailer makes out to be evil? He's not evil, he's retarded. I mean that literally. He has mental retardation. He also has nothing whatever to do with this movie's plot.

2003
Daddy Day Care
I was so torn between putting this movie on this list or putting House of the Dead on this list... but Daddy Day Care won out purely because, unlike House of the Dead, I had to watch it four times at various get-togethers. Moreover, House of the Dead, while it probably is a worse movie, entertained me. It was bad enough to cross back over into good. Daddy Day Care is just boring. It's a comedy, but it isn't funny, and there's nothing worse than a comedy that gets no laughs (unless maybe it's Freddy Got Fingered). It's because of this movie that I instantly fill with murderous rage at the sound of that Jackson Five song, ABC.

2004
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2
I don't even want to do a recap of this because I like to pretend this movie never happened. THIS MOVIE NEVER HAPPENED, OKAY? I AM TRYING TO REPRESS THOSE MEMORIES.
Honorable mention: Christmas With the Kranks

2005
Elektra
It's a shittier spinoff of a shitty movie. I had a really hard time watching this one because the plot completely jumps around and one scene wasn't really connected well with the next. I know there was a guy named Stick who could resurrect people, so my friends and I made a couple jokes about whacking dead bodies with sticks until they came back to life. I don't know, I don't remember the movie too well. I do remember the utter revulsion I felt watching it, though.

2006
Date Movie
Okay, this is the only movie on this list that I'll admit to not having watched 90% of it. I was flipping channels on TV one day and caught the opening of Date Movie. I honestly could not keep watching it, knowing there were such brilliantly crafted shows at Maury broadcasting at the same time. And this movie isn't on this list on its lonesome. I'm putting it on here in place of that whole reprehensible series of movies. Date Movie was just the first of those horrible, horrible ______ Movie movies and they are probably the low point of cinema for the whole fucking decade. Yes, I could have put down one of the earlier Scary Movie movies, but I didn't have a movie for this year and Date Movie was way worse than any of them.

2007
Daddy Day Camp
I know, I know, what am I doing, putting a movie and its sequel on the same list? Honestly, these movies have pretty much nothing to do with one another. They don't even have the same cast. And when the cast and crew of Daddy Day Care want to stay away from your movie, it's worse than just bad. This is like Daddy Day Care plus pain.

2008
The Day the Earth St-- Dohohoho silly me. That's a good movie. Oh, here we are.
When your movie is bad enough that I start an entire thread about it, I don't have to justify my hate any further.

2009
Old Dogs
As much as I'd like to say Transformers 2, this movie takes the cake. Look at that trailer! This movie is embarrassing to watch. The God damn trailer is embarrassing to watch. Putrid.

2004: Catwoman
Seriously. When a film leeches in audiences by pretending it's about a character whom it's NOT about in any way shape or form, it's a pretty lousy film already. At least Transformers had actual Transformers in it. Even if they were only guest stars.

Lapin wrote:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This was the biggest waste of $9 ever. And I really mean that. I really, really, really mean that. This was the most boring movie I have ever seen in my life, and that includes all those educational movies we had to watch in school.

Montages. Oh gawd, the montages. On, and on, and on, and on, and on. Not only that, I didn't care about the main character. He was dull and lifeless. The characters around him were interesting, but we never really saw them a lot. The focus was all on the flat main character and his absolute boringness. He never did anything interesting at all, beyond fucking exist. Congratulations, you are now as interesting as a sea cucumber, instead of a rock.

There really isn't anything else to complain about, because nothing else happened. Nothing but montages and dullness.

Dude, what the fucking fuck is wrong with you? How can you disparage a thing of beauty like that? Defensive fucking organ vomiting, you petty bitch! How the hell is that not interesting to you?

Yeah, Doc, if I got amusement from a movie at all--even if it was SO bad it was funny--it didn't make the list... because I'd probably watch it again. Or at least the amusing parts. Hence, the D&D movie was ousted by Scream 3, because watching Jeremy Irons in that was funny as hell.

My criteria changed as I did the list -- I realized that Death to Smoochy came out in 2002 and while it was horrible, I found it too amusing to put it up there. Looking back on it, I probably could have come up with something less enjoyable than Dungeons and Dragons for 2000, but by that point I was too lazy to rewrite that bit of the list.

Oh, man, I loved Death to Smoochy. Seriously. It was a black comedy, like War of the Roses and The Cable Guy... and I adore black comedies. And yes, I'm the only person I know of who actually enjoyed The Cable Guy.

My dad liked The Cable Guy. You're not completely alone. I don't remember it very well, though. He showed it to me when I was young enough that my movie watching ability was pretty bad.

Ok, it took a little time, but I managed to make my list:

2000

Cruel Intentions 2. Why? There weren't that many movies I can remember in 2000 that I hated and this movie sucks anyway. It's a straight-to-video, pointless prequel with different actors. I liked the original, but this movie was just a pile of shit.

2001

Say It Isn't So. Anyone who has seen this movie knows it sucks. The plot is pathetic, the dialogue and acting are horrendous, and the characters are all unlikeable. The movie was also ridiculously predictable and unfunny.

2002

Halloween: Resurrection. Oh my god, I HATE this movie. It was the most pointless sequel I've ever seen. H20 had a great ending that finished the series nicely. So what do they do? They decide that another movie is necessary, so they pull the whole "Oh, it wasn't him, it was someone else in a mask" thing. When Michael kills Laurie in the first five minutes, I was shocked. I seriously didn't think they would have him complete his purpose at the beginning of the film. Seriously, what else could they have happen? Oh, I know! How about a reality tv show inside Michael's childhood home? That's a great idea for the rest of the movie! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] None of the characters were likeable, the dialogue was lame, and the plot was just awful. Oh, and Busta Rhymes. Seriously? I was just...ugh. I hate this movie.

2003

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde. Another pointless sequel, this movie just sucks on so many levels. It's not funny, the characters are unlikeable, and all of the lead character's development from the last movie seems to have been tossed out the window so she could continue to play the "dumb blonde who suddenly gets smart" angle all over again. Also, the "snap jar" made me rage and I just can't figure out why, other than the fact that it was just stupid.

2004

Seed of Chucky. This is probably my least favorite movie of all time, which is funny, since it's a part of my absolute favorite horror series. THIS FUCKING MOVIE SHIT ALL OVER MY FAVORITE HORROR SERIES. Now, unlike some people, I loved Bride of Chucky. This movie is set several years after it and is about Chucky and Tiffany discovering their son and blah blah blah. Now, I thought it had the chance to be badass. Instead, they decided to try to be funny and failed miserably. Nothing about this movie was funny and most of the dialogue made me cringe. The child sucked and I was hoping for him to either grow a backbone or die. The deaths were over-the-top and ridiculous. But the worst part about this movie is that, after trying to transfer his soul for five movies, Chucky decides that he'd rather just stay a doll. Not only does it ruin his character, but it also follows up with one of the worst fight scenes I've ever seen. The only thing that was even remotely nice about this movie was Billy Boyd voicing Glen, Chucky and Tiffany's son. Otherwise, I hate this movie with a passion and it's one of my deepest desires to have the movie destroyed and its existence wiped from the planet. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

2005

House of Wax. This movie was boring, predictable, and uncreative. The only good part was watching Paris Hilton get a spike shoved through her forehead. I never saw the original, but I'm sure it had to be better than this shit.

2006

The Covenant. There's really no plot, the dialogue is cringe-worthy, and the lead female is so unlikeable I was hoping her throat would be ripped out. Also, the special effects were cheesy. The only good part about this movie is that the lead males were all insanely hot and spent a nice bit of time shirtless in a few scenes. Otherwise, this movie was made of fail.

2007

I Am Legend. Why? I only saw like three or four movies during 2007 and liked all of them, including this one, so I put the one I probably liked the least. It was a good movie, but sometimes it was just boring. Also, the ending was kind of WTF. However, a shirtless Will Smith is always a good thing. Maybe that's why I like this movie.

2008

Twilight. I didn't see many movies in 2008, but this movie still sucks ass. The acting was painful to watch, the special effects were terrible, and the lines from the book that were shoved into the movie were also terrible. I seriously laughed the entire time I watched this movie because it was just so bad. However, that hasn't stopped me from watching it again, as it's always fun to make fun of crappy movies.

2009

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. 2009 was the hardest one because I didn't see many movies and I hated all the ones I saw. It was a close tie between this, Up, and New Moon, but I went with this one because Up was just boring and New Moon was laughably bad, like Twilight. Half Blood Prince, however, is just bad. Now, the book was a piece of crap with some occasional good parts. The movie cut out most of those good parts and extended the crap to cover most of the movie. And worst of all, it tried to be funny. I didn't laugh any of the times I was expected to. Hell, the only time I laughed was when Dumbledore did his slow-motion fall off the tower. This movie played up the romance so much I wanted to barf and rushed through any scenes that were actually good, like those memory scenes. In fact, the only parts of the movie I enjoyed were Tom Felton's scenes and the Tom Riddle flashbacks. Otherwise, this movie was shit.

Alright, I'll take a crack at this thread.

2000 - Cast Away
A film so tremendously boring it will make your eyeballs bleed. And I watched every single bit of it. I guess it's supposed to be some commentary about "finding yourself" or something like that, but honestly, all that stuck with me was, "This film is really, really boring. Don't ever watch it, whatever you do."

2001 - Moulin Rouge!
This movie attempts to distract you from the fact that it has a fairly boring and predictable plot by really, really colorful and overwhelming song and dance numbers. And, to their credit, the singing and dancing does not entirely suck. Unfortunately, they only exacerbate the overwhelmingly odd final product. Maybe this movie is better when you are high?

2002 - One Hour Photo
You may not have seen this movie. It didn't do so well. It tries very, very hard to be just as interesting and psychological as Silence of the Lambs and fails miserably. Robin Williams' obliquely relevant commentary on such riveting subjects as photo development don't exactly help.

2003 - The Hulk
I wouldn't have a thing to say against this movie except that the effort to throwback to its comic book origins was a major backfire. Having two or more separate windows of video, each containing important information, running on the screen at the same time results in confusion. And it's annoying. If there were something redeeming about the movie to offset this, I might put it back in the neutral pile, but it's otherwise so very lackluster that there's just no reason to bother.

2004 - The Day After Tomorrow
'Nuff said.

2005 - Wedding Crashers
If it weren't for the fact that Wedding Crashers features Rape as Comedy (but it's okay, 'cause the rapist is a woman, so that means it doesn't count, right?) resulting in the "couple" getting married, I would have put Elizabethtown here. But, just to complete the Trope linkage, dude? Not funny.

2006 - The Break-Up
This movie features a couple going through a break-up. Focuses on them, in fact. Have you ever been involved in a relationship that was disintegrating? Did you enjoy it at all? No? Yeah.

2007 - Transformers
I really didn't find anything likable in this movie. All the important characters are giant, transforming, alien robots. With a fight that's not even tangentially relevant to humanity. Honestly, Earth is just a backdrop here. I was really bored. Not even the Michael Bay brand of Awesome^TM made this movie interesting.

2008 - Mamma Mia!
Virtually nothing happens. Set to a soundtrack of Abba, poorly sung by Pierce Brosnan. I almost reached into the television and stitched his mouth shut.

2009 - Bride Wars
Two best friends get into a fight so bad that they almost destroy their own relationship, but salvage things just in time and learn some things about love and life along the way. I have seen this movie before. I've seen it a lot. I can has new chick flick formula nao? Plz?!?

KelinciHutan wrote:

Alright, I'll take a crack at this thread.

2000 - Cast Away
A film so tremendously boring it will make your eyeballs bleed. And I watched every single bit of it. I guess it's supposed to be some commentary about "finding yourself" or something like that, but honestly, all that stuck with me was, "This film is really, really boring. Don't ever watch it, whatever you do."

My dad loves this movie and watches it any chance he gets. It's become a running joke in our family, since everyone else shares your opinion.

Inciter wrote:

Up was just boring

I actually could not physically read any more of your post after this.

What.

WHAT.

InkWeaver wrote:

Inciter wrote:

Up was just boring

I actually could not physically read any more of your post after this.

What.

WHAT.

I know I'm in the minority, but I just didn't like that movie. I saw it with my best friend and my ex and all three of us agreed that it was really boring.

I almost put Jim Carrey's A Christmas Carol 3D movie, but I forgot about it til just now. And I can't talk about it too much anyway, as I fell asleep in the beginning and only remember how slow and dull it was.

In what way was it boring? I just don't understand the reasoning!

InkWeaver wrote:

In what way was it boring? I just don't understand the reasoning!

An old guy decides to float his house away to where his wife wanted to go, accidentally takes a kid with him, and they spend time trying to find the spot while eventually traveling with that stupid animal that I wanted to die. Also, the old man's hero turns out to be the bad guy.

Boring.

What the fuck? How could you think that was boring. I cried at the beginning. That may also have to do with the fact that I just finished watching My Sister's Keeper right before that.

No, you cried at the beginning because it was a touching, awesome movie.

Also, the plot you just described, even with bias, was not boring.

Guess there's no helping differences in taste, though.

Inciter wrote:

InkWeaver wrote:

In what way was it boring? I just don't understand the reasoning!

An old guy decides to float his house away to where his wife wanted to go, accidentally takes a kid with him, and they spend time trying to find the spot while eventually traveling with that stupid animal that I wanted to die. Also, the old man's hero turns out to be the bad guy.

Boring.

You just have some kind of pathological resistance to subtlety of any kind, don't you? I mean, the elljay posts hinted at that, but this cements it, really.

Inciter wrote:

InkWeaver wrote:

In what way was it boring? I just don't understand the reasoning!

An old guy decides to float his house away to where his wife wanted to go, accidentally takes a kid with him, and they spend time trying to find the spot while eventually traveling with that stupid animal that I wanted to die. Also, the old man's hero turns out to be the bad guy.

Boring.

Get.
The.
Fuck.
Out.

BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Did none of you people see this? It's clearly the worst major studio production of the entire decade.