| Things I Learned at the Movies | |
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I_Lam_Edhellen Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 37 Location : Orodrim
| Subject: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:29 pm | |
| Thread revival.
The only dangerous part of a bullet wound is the bullet. Get it out, and everything will be fine.
Nobody's Asian in the movies. | |
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Fairlight Keeper of the Gaffapedia
Join date : 2009-06-11 Age : 43 Location : England.
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:44 pm | |
| The Eiffel Tower is visible from every window in Paris. | |
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Fitchsticks Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:51 pm | |
| Policemen are either mavericks with good hearts or ambitious assholes. | |
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ZoZo Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : In WD40's head
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:07 pm | |
| Sex takes less than two minutes and is almost never sweaty. | |
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Harley Quinn hyenaholic Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-12 Age : 38 Location : Taking that picture...
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:08 pm | |
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Spotts1701 Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 44 Location : New Vertiform City
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:05 pm | |
| Guns only jam or run out of ammo for dramatic purposes.
A cop who is retiring tomorrow will die today.
Same with a soldier who is being sent home.
Money is always crisp-looking and never creased. | |
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fishstickhater Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-12 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:32 pm | |
| Ugly girls never stay ugly if they're destined to pair up with the gorgeous lead man. | |
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DeeDee Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-03
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:13 pm | |
| If someone calls you to tell you to turn on the news, when you turn on the TV it'll automatically be on the right station, and the pertinent news story will just be starting. | |
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Melissa Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 45
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:22 pm | |
| If you rehearse how to say a certain thing over and over, forget it. You'll find you don't have to say it anyway. | |
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Lexin Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-11 Age : 61 Location : London
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:22 am | |
| Cars don't need locking. Or unlocking. | |
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KelinciHutan Global Nomad
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 39 Location : USS Enterprise
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:02 am | |
| No one ever misspeaks. Unless that would make things more dramatic.
Similarly, no one drops things, misplaces things, misfiles things, or just plain looses them unless it somehow makes things more interesting for them to do so.
Nobody ever actually goes to the bathroom.
Sunglasses and leather are cruise control for cool.
Computers don't work like you think they do.
If any group must store large amounts of sensitive information, all of it will be put into one, single spreadsheet. The file containing that sheet will not require a large amount of disc space, nor will it have any excessive security measures placed on it. It will also frequently be backed up on a single disc that at least five people will know the location of. This will result in all that information being highly vulnerable to theft from the opposition, and allow the owners of the information to showcase their badassery either by protecting it without breaking a sweat, or by putting on sunglasses and leather and stealing it back from whoever stole it from them. | |
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Lembech Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:09 am | |
| -People (don't) die when they are killed.
-Seth Rogen cannot escape his own laugh.
-Acting like a klutzy bitch will land you with a hot guy.
-Every game, no matter how current it is, sounds like Pacman.
-Babies heal relationships. Somehow. Even the colic ones!
-A small child can board a plane and get to your house without prior directions OR supervision for an day-long trip. They just know where you live. | |
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ZoZo Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : In WD40's head
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:14 am | |
| - KelinciHutan wrote:
- If any group must store large amounts of sensitive information, all of it will be put into one, single spreadsheet. The file containing that sheet will not require a large amount of disc space, nor will it have any excessive security measures placed on it. It will also frequently be backed up on a single disc that at least five people will know the location of. This will result in all that information being highly vulnerable to theft from the opposition, and allow the owners of the information to showcase their badassery either by protecting it without breaking a sweat, or by putting on sunglasses and leather and stealing it back from whoever stole it from them.
Furthermore, the file will be protected by a password that can be guessed very easily. | |
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anangrychocobo Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-13
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:49 am | |
| - Every single electronic device in the world, even things like traffic lights and microwaves, is connected to the internet and can be hacked into.
- Hacking makes things explode.
- Hacking consists entirely of guessing a password, usually one that's incredibly obvious.
- If you're lucky enough to be the most important person in a particular group, the savior of humanity, the chosen one or some similar thing, you will almost definitely never die, unless it's for a cheap Jesus parallel, in which case don't worry about it, you're going to come back to life even more important and unlikely to die that ever. | |
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Salamas Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-11 Age : 34 Location : Dark Corner
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:55 am | |
| - You can easily outrun an explosion and even if you don't at the most you'll be knocked down by the force of it, there is no flying debris.
- It's always a good idea to run hand in hand when in danger.
- In accidents cars always explode
- No one needs sleep, unless it's for dramatic/comic effect.
Last edited by Salamas on Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:55 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typo) | |
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Fairlight Keeper of the Gaffapedia
Join date : 2009-06-11 Age : 43 Location : England.
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:19 pm | |
| Whenever you arrive in a new town, your first port of call must be the Disreputable Drinking Establishment as it is the only place in town where you can possibly meet your contact, collect a package or even ask directions despite the fact that no one in it is friendly to strangers. The barman will be surly and you may well need to buy a drink to gain his co-operation, actually drinking it is not always advisable. Do not speak to any patrons or a fight will be break out and you will be blamed, if you keep your head down and say nothing, a fight will break out anyway but you probably won't be blamed.
If this isn't a TV Trope, it should be. | |
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Sheba Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:15 am | |
| Food never goes bad, unless mass food-poisoning is called for in the name of comedy. Such poisoning, furthermore, never results in death; only vomiting. No other symptom. Pet dander allergies do not exist. | |
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Manny Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : Trinidad and Tobago
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:37 am | |
| That easy-to-guess password thing always pissed me off. ADRIAN VEIDT HAD AN EASY-TO-GUESS PASSWORD FFS. :bitchslap: IT'S CONTAGIOUS! n'thing the bullet wound trope. I was so accustomed to this trope that I was SURPRISED when - Spoiler:
the Russian died from a single gunshot in Wanted. The protagonist was SHOT THROUGH HIS RIGHT BREAST by some goon during the last hurrah but DID NOT DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS HOURS LATER. The very fact that his heart rate was over 400 bpm meant that wound should have been GUSHING.
The movie was still incredibly awesome, though, despite a slew of other tropes.
Oh yeah - nobody leaves a bloody trail after being seriously lacerated/punctured unless they are being hunted down. Drama > basic physics, just as Order of the Stick said. A favourite trope of mine is that absolutely no-one is burned or hit by shrapnel despite being less than a hundred yards (sometimes ten feet) from an explosion. Apparently all the explosions are a comfortable room temperature and phase through solid material. The only time someone is injured from an explosion is when they are SNUGGLING UP NEXT TO IT.
Last edited by Manny on Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:40 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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ZoZo Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : In WD40's head
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:40 am | |
| - Manny wrote:
- A favourite trope of mine is that absolutely no-one is hit by shrapnel despite being less than a hundred yards (sometimes ten feet) from an explosion.
I quite like that explosions are very easy to outrun, provided you're good guy. I don't know why people ask Jack Bauer if he's OK after an explosion. Of course he is, he's immune to explosion. | |
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KelinciHutan Global Nomad
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 39 Location : USS Enterprise
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:07 am | |
| - Sheba wrote:
- Food never goes bad, unless mass food-poisoning is called for in the name of comedy. Such poisoning, furthermore, never results in death; only vomiting. No other symptom.
This is mostly justified in that actual food poisoning rarely results in death and the most common symptom is, in fact, vomiting. | |
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rae Contributor
Join date : 2009-06-10 Location : computer chair
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:09 am | |
| - KelinciHutan wrote:
- Sheba wrote:
- Food never goes bad, unless mass food-poisoning is called for in the name of comedy. Such poisoning, furthermore, never results in death; only vomiting. No other symptom.
This is mostly justified in that actual food poisoning rarely results in death and the most common symptom is, in fact, vomiting. Yup. I've had food poisoning a few times and never had to go to the hospital, though I was completely fucking miserable each time. Also, most places that serve food have safe food handling practices and when was the last time you didn't catch that something has gone off when you were cooking at home? | |
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InkWeaver Harriet Tubman
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 33 Location : Home of the peanuts.
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:46 am | |
| It is perfectly easy to steer a car in a car chase at a hundred miles an hour, and furthermore, the heroes never ever crash.
Stuff like G-forces do not exist. If you're hanging out of a helicopter that's spinning out of control, you will not fall off unless you are evil. If that's the case, the sheer weight of your bad deeds will pull you to your death.
If you wear glasses, YOU ARE A NERD. You are an unattractive, failure-at-attracting-relationships nerd. But only if you're a woman. But don't worry, as long as you're the main character, you'll be in for a makeover to make you beautiful. | |
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Miss Misery Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Location : My home planet
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:02 am | |
| * Cops are always partnered with someone who is their exact opposite.
* Once applied, lipstick never ever ever rubs off.
* All people waking up from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and scream.
* All grocery bags must contain a loaf of french bread.
* Medieval peasants had perfect, sparkling white teeth. | |
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ZoZo Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : In WD40's head
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:41 am | |
| - Miss Misery wrote:
- * Once applied, lipstick never ever ever rubs off.
Women will also wake up with a full face of make up. If they're with a man, it will, of course, be beneath the magic L-shaped sheets. | |
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Manny Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 38 Location : Trinidad and Tobago
| Subject: Re: Things I Learned at the Movies Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:12 pm | |
| You can turn your head and carry on conversation with another person while driving at breakneck speeds through traffic flowing in the opposite direction.
Also, physically fighting someone while driving in the same situation is perfectly plausible.
All civilian cars are bulletproof except for the windows. Seriously; I have yet to see one movie where a bullet actually penetrates a car door. Oh, and the back seat is also bulletproof, because once you duck your head you can survive a hail of automatic gunfire peppering the rear end of the vehicle. | |
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