Chapter 8 with Maximilia and Somath Cegem
- Quote :
- Xervexagon's encounter with Mayra had left him painfully unsatisfied. Pleasing Mayra in such a way set his senses on fire and aroused him like
never before.
Maximilia: Damn blue balls.
Weird: It must her SUE POWAHS that cause him to be so aroused.
Somath Cegem: Fucking cannot satisfy pryramid head, he requires blood!
Or at least a good stabbing
- Quote :
- He left her behind in the room without a word to satisfy his hunger before he lost control of himself and did something he'd regret. Once
again, the executioner was off to visit the nurses.
Maximilia: Well, you know you CAN get STD's from oral, and he WASN'T playing it safe...
Weird: Pyramid Head must have some libido. *whistles*
Somath Cegem: he's after a cure for his sudden cause of "Fucking-instead-of-stabbing-itus"
Maximilia: There is no cure forthat, sadly. At least... not in this fic.
Weird: But I thought he usually fucks and then stabs afterwards.
Somath Cegem: Maybe a placebo then
Maximilia: "Here, stab this, and see if it helps."
Somath Cegem: Point him towards a cow, treatment and lunch in one!
- Quote :
- He motioned to a nurse and she trotted up, immediately surrendering herself to him. Xervexagon firmly pushed her against the wall, lifted his
robe, and fiercely took to her.
Maximilia: ...to the prom?
Somath Cegem: To the moon?
Maximilia: Wait, wait, I misread that. Took TO her. Took to her... with a chainsaw!
Weird: This author has some kind of dominance fetish. She feels like she has to raped by this guy or something
Somath Cegem: With his giant Knife! Finally some stabbings!
Maximilia: Hm. And she's lusting after the game's rape-o-matic...
It all makes sense now!
Somath Cegem: ATTENTION ALL RAPESTS! WILLING TARGET FOUND!
Maximilia: AND A SPECIAL K-MART SPECIAL IN AISLE THREE--MASOCHISTS WHO WANT TO BE BUTCHERED! *HALF* OFF!
- Quote :
- It took him twenty minutes or more to finally accept the fact that it was useless. No matter how much he thrusted and slammed, for the first
time in his life, he felt nothing.
Somath Cegem: This does raise the question, if you want to be raped, is it rape?
Weird: No
Somath Cegem: Putting that anastetic on his peen was a bad idea
- Quote :
- It took him twenty minutes or more to finally accept the fact that it was useless. No matter how much he thrusted and slammed, for the first
time in his life, he felt nothing.
Weird: After thinking about Mayra's vagina, I would feel nothing as well.
Maximilia: And after licking it? Seppeku time.
Somath Cegem: Putting that anastetic on his peen was a terrible idea
- Quote :
- 'Mayra, that's what I mean. If it wasn't for her, you'd be having a good fuck right now. She's the reason you are numb to this. You need to
screw her, not these walking corpses.' He explained.
'No. I want to keep her pure for as long as possible.' He argued.
Weird:
Maximilia: Pure as the driven snow... driven through three or four states that is. *rimshot*
Somath Cegem: In this episode, Pyramid Head has been replaced by a horny as hell edward from twilight
Maxmilia: lol
Somath Cegem: Watch him fuck anything that doesn't care but treat our heroine like a 'princess'
Maximilia: But she is a princess! A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS.
Weird: That's goffik
Somath Cegem: A prince who got tounged by a pysical manifestation of some poor sods repressed libedo
- Quote :
- 'Then why haven't you been doing your job? Your blade is clean and you haven't satisfied yourself yet. You aren't even acting like an
executioner.' Instinct pointed out.
'Go to Hell.' Xervexagon had had enough.
Maximilia: Actually, no he hadn't. Wasn't that his problem?
Somath Cegem: When the projection from the crazy guys mind is hearing voices you know he's messed up
Weird: Well, it's more like James's sexually repressed side
But this author doesn't know shit about Silent Hill
Somath Cegem: You're just noticing this now?
Maximilia: It's got a name now too: Instinct. Not "his" instinct anymore.
Weird: Oh, I knew it from the beginning
She probably got tired of typing the word "his"
Lazy ass
Somath Cegem: I am Instinct! Resistance is futile! Unless a suethor turns up, then I'm there for needless padding
Maximilia: I keep seeing Calvin Klein cologne commercials. You know, instead of "Obsession" it's "Instinct" by Pyramid Head.
Somath Cegem: It would smell like the tears of scared children and torn skin
Maximilia: And blood from his freshly raped victims.
Weird: Burnt flesh
Somath Cegem: Ass blood
Because we know PH is an anal man#
Maximilia: Hee.
- Quote :
- Mayra waited impatiently in the empty room for the executioner to return. Her mind was buzzing with uneasy questions.
Weird: What an annoying mind that is
Maximilia: "Was I pregnant?! CAn you get pregnant from a big black tongue? And ew... where had he been putting that thing?!"
Somath Cegem: Why arn't I dead yet? Why am I letting the monster screw me? What 'are' we gonna do about this national debt?
Maximilia: "When is the economy going to pull out of the recession?"
Somath Cegem: "Can Geese fly backwards?"
Maxmilia: "WAS Bush a better president than Obama? WAS HE?!"
Somath Cegem: "Nah, dumb question"
Weird: We may never know
Somath Cegem: "Will Thatcher ever die?"
WILL SHE!
Oh dear god she isn't is she
Weird: Will this Sue ever die?
Somath Cegem: nooooooooo
[b[Maximilia[/b]: We can only hope.
Somath Cegem: There is no hope!
- Quote :
- What would happen when he came back? And what the Hell could have possibly possessed him to do...THAT? What did he mean by 'tested'?
And that she 'passed'?
Weird: Are there two tenses going on here? Or am I just reading this shit wrong?
Somath Cegem: That C+ sheared into her pubes was a big clue
Maximilia: Man, just barely though.
Somath Cegem: I wish she had failed
Weird: Yeah, because then she would probably die
Somath Cegem: "You fail! I take, YOUR SKIN"
Weird: I've been needing a new coat
A Sue coat should keep me warm for the rest of the winter
Somath Cegem: Brand new at M&S, this isn't just any leather, this is grade A PH suethor Leather
Maximilia: You know that's good quality. Look at how it sparkles!
Somath Cegem: It's Suethor leather, Not sparklepire Leather
Maximilia: Hey, Sues sparkle too!
Somath Cegem: This one doesn't
Maximilia: *ominously* YET.
Weird: No, she's too goffik for such things
Somath Cegem: O.O
Dark sparkles?
Maximilia: That'd at least be... nah, who am I kidding. Some other Suethor has done that before.
Somath Cegem: Okay, I'm scared now, MOVING ON!!
- Quote :
- She hadn't eaten in days...but where could she find some decent food around here? She had no idea where the church members had found the
reserves, so that was out of the question.
Maximilia: Hey, maybe that half-eaten corpse in the corner of Xervenaslisfjldskdneishreon's lair?
Somath Cegem: PH:- Hungry? *ziiiiiiip*
Weird: So this brings the question to: WHY THE FUCK DID SHE LEAVE THE CHURCH IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Somath Cegem: Oh god
what am I doing!!
Maximilia: WEIRD! STOP USING YOUR LOGIC HERE!
Somath Cegem: PH:- It's high in protien
Weird: B-but it makes me :redangry:
And it'll hydrate you as well
Somath Cegem: I seem to be trying to make this fic into an 80's porn movie
Maximilia: A squirt of semen is seven calories. Believe it or not, I read that in Cosmo.
lol
Weird: Imagine Pyramid Head semen o.o
Somath Cegem: "let me get my knife out"
It would be like a black tidal wave
of doom
Maximilia: Of goffik doom.
Somath Cegem: Would it have dark sparkles?
Maxmilia: The DARKEST!
Weird: Perhaps
Since Hot Topic sells them
Maximilia: As Dark as the emptiness...oh, shit, really?
Somath Cegem: Hot Topic sells Pyramid head sperm?
Maximilia: CREEPY.
Weird: No, sparkles
Somath Cegem: Shame
I swear Pryamid head sperm would be a great acid
like alien blood
only with sexy time
Weird: MOVING ON
- Quote :
- Xervexagon ate monsters, but there was no way she could bring herself to eat a gray child. The very thought of doing so sickened her and
made bile rise in her throat. She forced it back down with a few rough swallows and continued to think about food.
Maximilia: NOM NOM NOM.
Weird: I'm sure she could do a few rough swallows of something else as well
Somath Cegem: I'll eat white, brown, black, asian, but not grey, those fuckers are just weird
Maximilia: You know, it's really funny how she's mentioned she's so hungry all the time and hasn't eaten and so forth... but what about water?
Somath Cegem: True
Maximilia: People can survive for weeks, sometimes months, without food, but only days without water... oh hell. I'm using logic, aren't I?
Somath Cegem: Yeah you are
Weird: Yes, you are. STOP IT MAX
Maximilia: Damn it! I'M TRYING!
Somath Cegem: BACK IN THE BOX WITH YOU!!
- Quote :
- Xervexagon finally returned to find Mayra asleep. She was laying on the floor, curled up in the fetal position with her hair over her face. For a
moment, he wondered if he had injured her during the ordeal, but no, that wasn't possible. He made sure that he had been careful.
Maximilia: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Sue?
Weird: He made sure he was careful with his long, black tongue *shudder*
Somath Cegem: Prymaid Head + Careful = ?
I got nothing
Maximilia: And LOL. "Oral sex" = "THE ORDEAL". Isn't that just like most guys? They want to get it, but when it comes to giving...
Somath Cegem: I do like how he see's it as an ordeal
It was a sue
Maximilia: *high five* Great minds think alike.
Somath Cegem: *Manly chest bump*
Weird: Settle down
Maximilia: Yes, mom.
Somath Cegem: We need our joy dammit
- Quote :
- Suddenly a gurgling sound came from Mayra's stomach.
Weird: :O
Somath Cegem: And the Alien Burst forth!
Weird: Pyramid's tongue impregnated her!
Maximilia: She farted!
I mean, uh... >.>
- Quote :
- It suddenly dawned on him that he had forgotten to feed his human. That presented a problem; he still didn't know what humans ate. They
obviously weren't used to eating monsters, for when Mayra saw him eat the gray child, she vomited. So, then what the Hell did they eat?
Somath Cegem: Penis!
Maximilia: She loves the cock. XD
Weird: Wow, you two
Maximilia: What?
Somath Cegem: Just telling it like it is
Maximilia: We're keepin' it real. In the streets. yo.
Somath Cegem: She's lusting after pyramid head for gods sake
Weird: Though I do have to agree
Penis does seen the way to go
It's high in protein!
Maximilia: It's the obvious choice, come on!
Somath Cegem: The only way you know
Remind me to be stuck with you two if there is a famine
Maximilia: LOL
And my next thought of how/what he could feed her was so much more nasty... he could be like birds, and chew up the grey child, and then
regurgitate it in her mouth. :D
Somath Cegem: Vomit! Of course
Sperm Vomit?
Weird:
Maximilia: Yay! Score: Max: 1, Weirdy: 0 :D
Weird: MOVING ON
- Quote :
- 'She's not worth the trouble. Just rape and eat her. It's as simple as that.' Instinct exasperated.
'Just shut up.' Xervexagon growled.
Maximilia: Listen to your Instinct!
Weird: I concur with Instinct
Maximilia: Always listen to your gut!
Somath Cegem: Mental project is now talking to itself
Not good
Weird: This could definitely end badly
And by badly, I mean him killing himself.
Which would be good
Somath Cegem: Freud whould have a feild day with this guy, right before the blade got lodged in his brain anyway
Maximilia: It'd be way more amusing if Xervanlogneionsensoidufhasnfonlon got out a sock puppet whenever Instinct was on stage. "What do
you think I should do, Instinct?"
Sock Puppet: Well, I think you should rape her and eat her!
Somath Cegem: And now I'm imagining PH wearing dellys avatar on it's hand
Just when he couldn't get and freakier
ta Maxi
Maximilia: :D
Somath Cegem: Stabbed, Raped or eaten by it demonic puppet
Weird: :roflmao:
Somath Cegem: what a choice
Maximilia: I'm going to make up t-shirts that say "Team Puppet" on it now.
Weird: I WANT ONE
Somath Cegem: I'll stick with my team Alucard thanks
We appear to be moving off track
- Quote :
- 'No. Not this time. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to provide for this human. You are the executioner, and you should start acting
the part.' Instinct refused to be shut out.
'I'm not going to listen to you.'
Weird: Pyramid Head is a rebellious teenager against himself
Maximilia: Xervansaksdlainwondsiwlon put his fingers in his ears, "I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA!"
Somath Cegem: Well, he is just personified libedo
every guys libedo is a teen wanting to break free
That or a randy 60 year old man
- Quote :
- Mayra's eyelids fluttered open. She sat up slowly and stared curiously at Xervexagon.
"Are you okay? You're trembling." She asked.
Weird: brb- still laughing at the name 'Xervexagon'
Somath Cegem: "I'm shaking with rage, I've just realised I'm in a sue fic!"
Maximilia: Geshundheit.
Somath Cegem: "IT'S MURDERING TIME!!"
Maximilia: YUS!
Weird: GO AFTER THE AUTHOR
Maximilia: *stabbity*
Somath Cegem: Please let it be murdering time?
Maximilia:
- Quote :
- Xervexagon's shaking hand moved towards the handle of his knife. Mayra saw this and her eyes widened in fear.
'Yes, you see? She's prey. Look at the fear in her eyes. She's terrified!' Instinct hissed.
Somath Cegem: DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO
IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT
Maximilia: "Are you looking at me? Well, you must be looking at me cuz there's no one else here."
Somath Cegem: DO IT FAGGOT!!
Weird: PLEASE KILL HER
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
- Quote :
- Xervexagon's hand froze and clenched, but he picked up the enormous blade anyways.
Mayra was on her feet in an instant.
Weird: YES
Somath Cegem: STRIKE!
Weird: HE'S GOING TO KILL HE-(looks to see more chapters after this)
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Maximilia: If it was clenched, how did he pick it up?
Somath Cegem: Maybe it clenched round the handle
oh wait, logic
Weird: she dun no wut "clench" meens
Maximilia: DAMN!
Somath Cegem: Keep going, faster we go, sooner it's over
- Quote :
- "What...what are you doing?" She asked fearfully.
"Finding something for you to eat." He replied flatly.
Maximilia: *zzzip*
Somath Cegem: *Ziiiiiiiiip*
HIGH FIVE!
Maximilia: *high fives!*
Weird: LOL you guys
Somath Cegem: It's the little things that keep us going.
Maximilia: And it's what comes of having one's mind permanently in the gutter.
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