Let's Romanticize this Psychological Horror aka Pyramid Head

So I was actually browsing the Silent Hill section on the pit where a I found a Mary Sue/Pyramid Head pairing. Upon reading the reviews, this author accuses the author of stealing her idea. Not to make her feel left out, I go and read this fic, only to find it worse.

Fatal Fascination by Chezara

The first chapter has guest snarks with Dr. Professor Science and Unskilled78.

Quote :

"'Here we go again,' Mayra thought bitterly as she sank to her knees."

Weird: ’It’s that time of day to give head to those filthy maxxles,’ Waffles thought as she received the next cock in line.

Quote :

"It was time to pray again...for the SIXTH time today."

Weird: Sixth time? Somebody has sinned an awful lot. Not surprising, coming from the town full of rapists and murderers.
Dr. Professor Science: She's sinning right now, that dirty slut.
Dr. Professor Science: Unless dicks count as sacrament here.
Unskilled78: WE THOUGHT WE COULD HIDE FROM THE LIGHT DOWN HERE, WE WERE WRONG!

Quote :

'You seriously think that praying does any good? Then why are the windows still dark? Why can I still hear screams of agony?'

Weird: Haven't you heard that patience is a virtue?
Dr. Professor Science: Those screams aren't of agony, my love.
Unskilled78: Because you need to pray harder!
Weird: Good things come to those who wait or something like that

Quote :

She was the only one not blinded by convection and false hope. There was no chance of being 'saved' in Silent Hill. They were all damned, no matter how hard they prayed and repented for their sins.

Unskilled78: How does she know?
Weird: Maybe she is the only one with false hope.
Weird: They're not being saved because she doesn't believe

Quote :

Mayra would rather be burning in Hell right now; that's how much she hated living in this church.

Weird: Guess this isn't the Church for Satanists. D:
Dr. Professor Science: No. No she wouldn't.
Dr. Professor Science: And lying is a sin.

Quote :

Her parents were dead; just two of the many victims of the 'darkness'. After such a devastating loss, Mayra came to the conclusion that there were only two possibilities; either there was no God (who would take away the parents of an innocent eight-year old child?) or that this 'God' was a sick bastard who enjoyed causing his creations pain and watching them suffer beneath his ultimately superior power.

Weird: *plays a sad song on violin*
Dr. Professor Science: Call the WHAAAAAMBULANCE

Quote :

At seventeen years of age, one would think she'd have warmed up to the lifestyle, but she didn't. This life was all she knew. Yet she still longed for a different life; one in which she could be free and not have to pray every few hours to a God that never responded. She was told when it was safe to go outside, when to pray, when to eat and just how much she could eat because she had to share with the others. This place just flat-out fucking SUCKED.

Weird: I'm seeing the patterns of a Sue here
Dr. Professor Science: Sucking and fucking are two different things, love.
Weird: Does God suck and fuck?
Unskilled78: Does God swallow?
Dr. Professor Science: God can do everything and nothing at once because he is ineffable.

Quote :

She watched in utter horror, yet fascination, as a enormous creature rounded the corner of the school building to her right.

Weird: Must be Godzilla. :lolinsane:
Unskilled78: PENIS OUT OF NOWHERE!

Quote :

'Oh my God, that blade must weigh a ton! How is he even managing to drag that?' She marveled silently.

Weird:Trust me, if James Sunderland can drag that thing around on Silent Hill 2, Pyramid head can drag that around with no problem.
Dr. Professor Science: There`s a lot more where that comes from, baby
Weird: :unskilled78:

Quote :

"She stood frozen in awe and watched as the monster slowly lumbered towards her."

Weird: Somebody has a death wish
Dr. Professor Science: It was..............................................................dumbleedory

Quote :

Mayra didn't move. She couldn't.

Weird: Could it be love?
Unskilled78: Of course
Dr. Professor Science: STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE
Dr. Professor Science: BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART

Quote :

' The Red Pyramid...' She contemplated. 'I think I'll just call you Pyramid Head.'

Dr. Professor Science: INVENTIVE
Weird: Now she's going to post in on her wall so she can look at it all the time <3
Dr. Professor Science: MARVEL AT HER LEAPS OF LOGIC

Quote :

Several hours passed as she put her heart and soul into recreating the demon. Something about him...maybe it was how humanoid he looked, or the mysterious helmet that hid a possible face...whatever it was, it thrilled her artistic side.

Weird: It thrilled another side of her. If you know what I mean.
Dr. Professor Science: THAT`S RIGHT YOU JUST STAND THERE WHILE THE EMBODIMENT OF RAPE STARES AT YOU

Quote :

"No! No!" Some ugly old woman with tattered clothes shrieked. She snatched the paper from right under her pencil and crumpled it up.

Weird: Hey, hey, hey. Just because she has tattered clothes doesn't make her ugly.
Dr. Professor Science: The Paper Bag Princess is all gwown up :3

Quote :

"No!" The old woman hissed. "Tis the Devil's work!" She threw the mashed picture onto the floor and stomped it into the ground, as if she were putting out a fire.

A blazing sun of fury rose in Mayra's chest. She choked back an insult that would make Satan cringe.

Weird: I highly doubt you could make Satan cringe
Dr. Professor Science: That`s not all she`s choking back

Quote :

"But Pyramid Head...somehow he was different. Perhaps it was because he looked more human than the rest?"

Dr. Professor Science: GOD OF RAPE
Dr. Professor Science: DAAWWWW :3
Weird: Maybe because he's the embodiment of rape?
Dr. Professor Science: HE WORE AN ITSY BITSY TEENIE WEENIE YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI :3
MY BOY LOLLIPOP
YOU MAKE MY HEART GO GIDDYUP
Unskilled78: Turns out all those Yoplait were actually good for him

Quote :

'He looked like he was in a lot of pain. Does he even have a head under that helmet?' She wondered.

Weird: I honestly wouldn't want to know if he has a head or not. I would never want to get too close to find out. :unskilled78:
Dr. Professor Science: He does have a tonuge....
All the better for tentacling you with, my dear.

Quote :

"When she was younger, she'd ask Christabella about the creatures who ran amok in the town. What they were, what they ate, and how dangerous each kind was. But Christabella's answers were too complicated for Mayra to really understand. She thought about asking her about Pyramid Head now that she was older and might be able to comprehend her explanations, but changed her mind after remembering how the old woman reacted to a simple drawing of the monster.

Weird: Her brain is too small for such knowledge.
[10:14:39 PM] Unskilled78: She needs to read the GameFAQs guide.
Dr. Professor Science: It`s Amok Time? LOOK OUT THAT MEANS VULCAN RAPE

Quote :

I may not have anywhere else to go, but...I'd rather be dead than living here my whole life.'

Weird: I highly doubt that.
Unskilled78: / wrists.

Quote :

'I'll be seeing you soon. I sure as Hell hope you don't mind company.'

Weird: I sure as hell hope you don't mind getting raped
Dr. Professor Science: ~*~Spooky~*~

Quote :

She knew that he'd kill her if he had the chance, but at this point, she didn't care. It was better than being stuck here where she had to keep to herself and always share what little food she had.

Weird: No, first, he would rape her and then he would kill her.
Dr. Professor Science: Nah, he'd just rape her. The killing would be incidental.
Unskilled78: The killing would be a result of her being a pansy
Dr. Professor Science: I'd like to kill her deliberately, though. She should hang out with me instead.
Unskilled78: Are you Cube-Head?

Quote :

"Fuck this place..." The whispered bitterly under her breath.

Dr. Professor Science:

Spoiler:

Quote :

She quietly closed the door behind her and ran off into the darkness.

Weird: What a rebel. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

I love how much she whines about having to share her food with others. Nothing says hero like trying to starve the people around you.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

PYRAMID HEAD IS ONE OF A SERIES OF FUCKING ELITE PRIESTS IN THE CULT. HE IS AT WORST HIGHLY ESTEEMED AND AT BEST WORSHIPPED, POSSIBLY AS THE RED GOD XUCHILBARA, ALTHOUGH THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN ARGUMENT THERE. THERE IS NO DEVIL IN THE CULT, AND HE WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE THE WORK OF IT IF THERE WAS. PLAYING THE FUCKING GAMES, YOU CUNTBREATHING ASSMONGERS.

...sorry. This is why I had to stop reading Silent Hill fics, was the apoplexy. I'll quiet down now.

The title makes me feel hopeful that Mayra will not live to see the end of the fic.

Quote :

Quote :

Her parents were dead; just two of the many victims of the 'darkness'. After such a devastating loss, Mayra came to the conclusion that there were only two possibilities; either there was no God (who would take away the parents of an innocent eight-year old child?) or that this 'God' was a sick bastard who enjoyed causing his creations pain and watching them suffer beneath his ultimately superior power.

Weird: *plays a sad song on violin*
Dr. Professor Science: Call the WHAAAAAMBULANCE

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Great snark, but the images are down. If you upload them to fapomatic, they'll be able to stay up. I would like to see them.

Images back up.

Chapter 2

Quote :

Mayra was hungry, dirty, cut, and exhausted. Today marked her third day on the streets.

Weird: This is what you get for leaving church.
Dr. Professor Science: You do know what "on the streets" means, right?
That's right... she's a prostitute.
Unskilled78: You would think that direction first
Dr. Professor Science: Pyramid Head is her pimp.

Quote :

On her first day alone, she was attacked by the grey children. They caught her off-guard and backed her into a corner. Their nails scratched up her legs as she kicked at them and fended them off with a metal pipe.

Weird: I believe the author is talking about this.

Spoiler:

For being a Silent Hill fan, the author doesn't know the names of the enemies.

Quote :

The second day wasn't much better. She tried hiding in the school bathroom, but quickly learned that that was a mistake after seeing the twisted and broken corpse that was wrapped in barbed wire inside one of the stalls.

Mythandariel: Where did the barbed wire come from?
Weird: I thought she lived in Silent Hill all her life. Why is she surprised by this?
Mythandriel:Do their shit demons pop out of the toilets at odd hours too?
Dr. Professor Science: It makes her sound like she's a sad little high school student hiding from the mean girls even though she's really hiding from monsters
Mythandariel: Plus it smelled like poo
Unskilled78: better be careful or they'll rip her head off and give it a swirley

Quote :

Everytime the sirens went off, she watched and carefully listened for the tell-tale scraping of Pyramid Head's knife.

Dr. Professor Science: He's a barber!
Weird: She listened to the sirens forlornly, wishing that she would be with Pyramid Head someday.
Mythandariel: Does Pyramid head command a squadran of planes? Are they bombing? Why sirens?
Unskilled78: In Russia, Rape Pyramid Heads YOU!

Quote :

Now, on the third day, she was still empty-handed. Not to mention empty-stomached; she still had not found anything remotely edible. Her belly was screaming for nourishment, but she had nothing to satisfy it. She wanted to kick herself for leaving the church without taking some of the rations. That was a stupid mistake.

Mythandariel: FEEEEED MEEEEEEE!!
Weird: This is a stupid mistake.
Dr. Professor Science: SHUT UP.
This fic is a stupid mistake.
Mythandariel: *Sad Face*

Quote :

Ash continued to flutter from the sky, collecting in her ebony hair. Every once in a while, she'd shake her head, sending the flakes flying off in a flurry.

Weird: ENOBY HAIR
Dr. Professor Science: EGOGY HAIR
Mythandariel: FlutterAsh! Flutter away!!
Unskilled78: a couple more steps and I'll have enough for a yellow flute.
Dr. Professor Science: Ashes of RAPE?
Mythandariel: Rape of Ashes?
Unskilled78: the Rape of the Lock!

Quote :

She jumped as the sirens began to wail, announcing the awakening of Hell.

The sky darkened ominously, and the ash stopped falling. Mayra's heart began to race and chills crawled down her spine. She ran to the nearest building, jerked the splintery door open and slipped inside. A musty smell immediately flooded her nose.

Weird: Musty smell, huh?
Mythandariel: Umm...has no one told her that monsters like to hide in dark places?
Dr. Professor Science: Man, Satan sure is slacking. He can't even catch this one little girl.
Unskilled78: Heeree comes the raaain, agaaaain. Faaaalling on my hair like a memory, falling on my head like a neeeew emmmmmotion

Quote :

She creeped up to it and decided to watch for Pyramid Head, despite the risk of being seen and attacked by another monster. The sirens stopped howling and everything fell dead silent.

'Please...please come...' She quietly begged.

Mythandariel: Thats what she said!
Unskilled78: Pyramid head doesn't Orgasm unless commanded.
Weird: "Oh Pyramid Head! Come! Please come!" she moaned.
Mythandariel: Just her luck he splooges barbed wire.
Dr. Professor Science: She's a creeper!
Weird: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :

Something small scuttling across the ground outside caught her eye. It looked like a bug, a huge bug.

It was as big as a cat! It resembled a giant cockroach or beetle. And then another followed closely behind it, and then another, and then another, and then there were too many to count. There were dozens of them!

'Holy crap, where are they all coming from?!' She wondered fearfully.

Mythandariel: Outside?
Unskilled78: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the number of bugs?
IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAND!
Weird: Yep, it's a creeper.

Spoiler:

Quote :

Her question was answered as soon as she heard the ear-piercing grating of metal against concrete.

Her spirit lifted as she saw the towering form of who she'd been searching for. He hauled his heavy blade behind him, his back curving inwards and his head bowed heavily by the weight of the helmet.

Mayra had finally found Pyramid Head.

Mythandariel: NO! Pyramid Head Found HER!!!
Unskilled78: In Russia, Pyramid Head and you find each other at the same time.

Quote :

He's here, but...now what to I do? I can't just run up to him, he'll kill me!' She quivered slightly at the thought of his giant blade ramming into her stomach.

Weird: RUN THE FUCK AWAY
RUN
NEVER LOOK BACK
Dr. Professor Science: Her "spirit" lifted, eh?
she has a penis
Unskilled78: That's not the only giant blade she's afraid of
Mythandariel: lol
Dr. Professor Science: Giant blade ramming into her stomach sounds like a euphamism

Quote :

Pyramid Head towered over her, casting his shadow over her entire body. She could see every little scar that was carved into his flesh and how his muscles flexed as he moved and strained to pull the blade along with him.

Weird: SEXY
Unskilled78: She could also tell that his little pyramid was happy to see her.

Quote :

Pyramid Head stared curiously at the girl through the mesh of his enormous helmet. He recognized her as humanoid, similar in appearance to the humans he preyed upon. But she was not behaving the way humans do when he approached. Humans normally ran screaming in fear or tried to shoot or stab or maim him.

Unskilled78: This made Pyramid Head horny.
Weird: Oh, God. Pyramid Head wouldn't even care. He should just kill her!
Dr. Professor Science: Pyramid Head would only care in that it gives him more of an opportunity for TORTURE
Unskilled78: or RAPE

Quote :

He couldn't understand that. The closest thing he could compare her to was the nurses.

Weird: Grammatical error aside. *cough*
I didn't know she resembled these things.

Spoiler:

Unskilled78: well, maybe she's basically lust personified

Quote :

During his free time, Pyramid Head would find them and use them for his own purposes. They were accustomed to his visits, and didn't run from him or stab at him with their scalpels. It was a simple rule; if they didn't attack him, he wouldn't kill them. They enjoyed his company just as much as he appreciated their accomodating attitudes. They were always welcoming his presence and eager to please him.

Weird: Please him, eh?
Unskilled78: Sucky, Sucky $5. Me Love you looooong time.
Weird: And Pyramid Head would just rape them. I'm not sure how they would enjoy his company
Dr. Professor Science: That's how you please him.
Mythandariel: wow
Unskilled78: Maybe they like it...rough...

Quote :

As long as they served a purpose, in his mind, they were worthy of living in his world.

But what was this creature's purpose?

He decided to test her. If she was anything like the nurses, she wouldn't run away.

Mythandariel: ew
ew
ew
ew
ew
Weird: Can I strangle the author, please?
Mythandariel: yes
Unskilled78: "essay? or multiple choice" he growled
Mythandariel: lol
Dr. Professor Science: I WANT TO BE LIKE A NURSE
I WANT TO HAVE NO HEAD AND FOUR LEGS

Quote :

Pyramid head extended his weaponless arm towards her, and firmly, but gently, cupped her chin and raised her face to meet his hidden gaze. She had jumped slightly at his sudden movement, but relaxed when she realized that he wasn't hurting her. He knew that an ordinary human would have died from fright by now, so he concluded that she was either an odd-looking nurse or a VERY strange human. So perhaps he would let her live, that is, if she proved herself to be beneficial to him...in one way or another.

Weird: Nonononononononononononono
He would tear her head off!
Unskilled78: "Go Make me a sandwhich, woman."
Mythandariel: He would tear her head off and then fuck the stump
Dr. Professor Science: IT'S RAPE TIME.
Mythandariel: making happy happy noises too
Weird:

Spoiler:

Quote :

She had just been touched by one of Pyramid Head's giant hands, and it had not been violent in nature. His hand was actually quite warm. She hadn't expected that. She thought it would have been cold like that of a corpse's.

Weird: Like a virgin~
Touched for the very first time
Mythandariel: like a Surgeon
Unskilled78: He's the personification of rape, not a vampire
Mythandariel: Like a Sturgen
Pyramid Head Does Not Sparkle!!!!
Dr. Professor Science: Giant hands make for bad surgeons.

Quote :

Why...why am I not dead?!!! He could have broke my neck just now when he touched me, so why didn't he?!!!' She mentally shrieked.

Pyramid Head withdrew his hand.

'I...I don't understand...what's going on here?' Mayra's mind was swirling in chaotic dissarray.

Mythandariel: And then her head imploded
The end
Weird: Yes, he should've broken your neck so you could die a slow death
And I don't have to read this anymore
Dr. Professor Science: She started throwing punctuation at him and it acted as a shield!
Unskilled78: That's an unorthodox method for defeating him. Did you get it off of GameFAQs?
Mythandariel: Yea...She told him she was on her peroid and he ran away in terror
Weird: What reason could he possibly have for keeping her alive?
Mythandariel: RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weird: I would love to know that as well.
Unskilled78: He wanted to fuck with her mind before fucking her corpse.
Dr. Professor Science: Rape.

Chapter 3

Quote :

For a long while, Pyramid Head and Mayra just stared at each other. Mayra was afraid to move, and Pyramid Head was still deciding what he should do with her. He knew that if he left her here, another monster would try to kill her. She could prove herself valuable to him yet, so he couldn't risk that. He thought about leaving her with the nurses until his next visit, but he wasn't sure of their current whereabouts or how they would take to her.

So, he decided, for the time being, she would stay close to him.

Mythandariel: Blow job time
Unskilled78: All the better to stab her with
Dr. Professor Science: Why doesn't he just kill her?
No, seriously.
Weird: She's valuable for rape
Unskilled78: Because he luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvs her
Mythandariel: Pyramid Head is temoraraly Sane
Weird: I wish he killed her. I really, really, do
Unskilled78: then she would just respawn.
Dr. Professor Science: Kill her.
Kill her and wear her skin.

Quote :

He took a few steps back and jerked his head to the side in a beckoning gesture. At first Mayra was still, but she decided that if she wanted to live, she would have to trust him. Trust Pyramid Head.

She might as well be trusting the Devil.

Mythandariel: And we all know where that gets you
Weird: Is he going to privately rape her?
Mythandariel: In Armani suits with $10,000 a night hookers
Unskilled78: His little Pyramid is a very shy performer.
Dr. Professor Science: Trust Pyramid Head? There's only one thing you can trust him to do and that's rape.
A lot.
Unskilled78: and hurt things
Weird: And murder
Mythandariel: Rape-A-Lot

Quote :

She stepped towards him cautiously, terrified that he might swing his blade suddenly, slicing off her upper half. Despite her fears, he did no such thing. He only waited until she was at his side, and then he continued walking.

Mythandariel: Has he found his protige?
Unskilled78: Even Pyramid Head gets stuck with stupid escort missions.
Mythandariel: Or a living Fleshlight?
Weird: She's being Punk'd. There's no other explanation
Mythandariel: lol
Dr. Professor Science: Walked her right into a volcano.
Mythandariel: Poof

Quote :

But what sparked her curiousity the most was the massive pyramid-shaped helmet he wore. What was it for? Maybe he was badly deformed and he used it to cover his face. Or perhaps it was some type of extreme protection. Whatever it was for, it looked like it caused him pain. His neck was always bowed slightly, as if he strained to keep his head up. She wondered why he wore it if it was so painful.

Weird: Somebody shoot me, please.
Mythandariel: ok
Unskilled78: It's a facially-mounted dildo, for when Lil' Pyramid eventually gets tired.
Mythandariel: Yay!
Dr. Professor Science: It's to keep fruit fresh through Pyramid Power.

Quote :

"Ummm...so...what's with the helmet? I mean...what's it for?" She asked nervously, and immediately regretted breaking the silence.

Pyramid Head said nothing and kept walking.

Mythandariel: Keep talking and he might kill you
Please keep talking
Dr. Professor Science: Can he talk?
Weird: Pyramid Head doesn't have time for such foolish questions. He's on a rape mission
Unskilled78: He punished her breaking the silence by breaking every bone in her body
Dr. Professor Science: I know he has a tongue, but it's ten feet long and for tentacle rape.

Quote :

Mayra decided to keep her mouth shut. She didn't want to agitate him or risk setting him off in any way. If he decided to kill her, she wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. She wanted to keep things peaceful between them, if that was even possible.

Unskilled78: It's not.
Mythandariel: Who are you? Mother Theresa?
Dr. Professor Science: It would be if she was dead.
Weird: She's suicidal
Unskilled78: He does not want peace, he wants pieces.

Quote :

Pyramid Head considered answering her question, but that would only spark more questions from her, and he wasn't a very talkative individual. He only spoke when he thought it was necessary, and even that was on rare occasion. Even if he gave her an answer, she wouldn't be satisfied with it. Because the truth was that he didn't know. For as long as he could recall, he had always worn the bulky steel helmet. He never could remove it, because it was appearently bolted to his skull. He didn't even know what he looked like beneath it. No one did. The closest he could come to removing it was raising it up slightly so he could slide his hand under it to put food into his mouth.

Unskilled78: There's something sweet
And almost kind
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined
And now he's dear
And so I'm sure
I wonder why I didn't see it there before
Weird: Pyramid head eats food? I just thought he ate whatever monster's corpse
Mythandariel: Nom Nom Nom
Dr. Professor Science: He eats vaginas.
Unskilled78: This Date is lame.
It's such a bore
I'd rather be home playing card games more and more
If you ask me
Tea's a whore
but that's nothing new, she was that way before

Quote :

The thought of food reminded him why he was out here in the first place. He was hungry.

His thoughts immediately fell upon the odd creature that walked beside him, but she was no longer an option. Yet she looked SO delicious. The pale flesh could easily be torn from her bones and swallowed, the warm blood slickening his tongue and throat. The sweet, coppery taste of blood-soaked meat...he needed it. He had to have it.

'No...she could still serve me.' He thought. 'Just find a grey child, kill it, and eat it.'

Weird: Called it
Mythandariel: Whack-A-Moke with a 10foot blade
fun
Unskilled78: Give in to your anger. Let the hate flooow through you.
Dr. Professor Science: IT IS DELICIOUS SUE YOU MUST EAT.
Mythandariel: Blood and Flow should never be used in the same sentance as Jedis
Unskilled78: Mensi-chlorians?
Mythandariel: exactly

Quote :

His stomach rumbled. The female next to him jumped. Fear glimmered in her wide eyes.

'Are you sure she's not prey? She's showing FEAR.' His instincts hissed.

'Shut up.' He ended the debate and temptation as a grey child staggered out from behind a building.

Unskilled78: Duuuuuude. That party was toooootally rad.
Weird: Ooooohhhh. Like the game FEAR?
Mythandariel: Tunnel Snakes Rule!
Unskilled78: Hey, Amata, wanna see a real tunnel snake?

Quote :

He nearly charged after it, but remembered that he had to protect the new creature in case there were more monsters around, watching and waiting for him to leave the female unattended.

''Oh, shit!!!'' The girl shrieked as the grey child drew near. He looked down at her, slightly confused.

He didn't understand why she was afraid of it. It was small and weak, easily knocked off balance and stomped into the ground. What was there to be afraid of? He had to be fast if he wanted to eat the monster AND protect the new creature. Pyramid Head allowed the grey child to stumble awkwardly towards them, until it was within reach. With each step the monster took, Mayra became more and more frantic.

Weird: He's defending her?
Seriously?
What. The. Fuck.
Mythandariel: Durrrrr
Dr. Professor Science: Is it can be rape time now pls?

Quote :

"Kill it! Kill it! It's getting closer, oh God, it's getting closer!!! Kill it! KILL IT NOW!!!" She screamed.

Pyramid Head was on the edge of shoving his knife down her throat and screaming : ''Shut the Hell up!!!''

Weird: PLEASE KILL HER
PLEASE
Mythandariel: lol
I am laughing so hard
Unskilled78: I bet she only has a couple HP too.
Dr. Professor Science: Pyramid Head is a teenage boy?
Mythandariel: I am a fan girl fucktard and I am pissing off a guy with a knife that he could rape Godzilla with! Brains I do not have.
Unskilled78: At least she doesn't like Twilight.

Quote :

But he didn't do either one. Instead, he reached forward and clutched the grey child's head as it shrieked in protest and crushed it's skull within his powerful fist. He thought that perhaps that killing the grey child would calm the girl, but he only made things worse. Mayra turned away from him and started to run.

He was about to pursue her when she came to a stop, doubled over, and threw up.

Weird: lolololololololololol
Mythandariel: er
error in logic
Unskilled78: I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my brother. Prepare to die.
Mythandariel: system reboot
Login: STFU
Dr. Professor Science: Puke just makes my penis harder.
Mythandariel: Password:FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Unskilled78: I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my bro-blaaaargh

Quote :

Mayra continued to dry-heave until all of her stomach's contents where pooled on the ground in a splattery mess. Seeing him ravenously devour the monster made her want to vomit again, but there was nothing left to upheave. Even though she didn't want to watch, she couldn't help but to observe how he ate.

Weird: Wait, I thought she hadn't eaten in days
Mythandariel: yea
You fail biology forever
Unskilled78: She just has a really slow digestive system.
Mythandariel: She is Sloth
Dr. Professor Science: She's a cow. She's been chewing her cud this whole time

Quote :

'He...He's eating that...that THING...instead of ME.' She thought, utterly sickened but grateful at the same time.

'But I know he eats humans. So...why has he chosen to eat a monster intead of a me?' She wondered.

Weird: It's because he luffs you
Unskilled78: He's eating it, and then he's gonna eat me.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDd
Mythandariel: Be thankful. He is a master of multitasking. He can eat and fuck at the same time...

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She was snapped out of her curious thoughts as a long black tongue slithered out from the bottom of his blood-stained helmet and lapped at the blood surrounding the shredded remains of the grey child. Mayra watched with twisted interest. His tongue was gleaming with blood and saliva, and was appearently prehensile;the way it twisted and coiled around the meat, actually picking up torn limbs and withdrawing them back into his mouth, it reminded her of a snake.

'What kind of creature has a tongue like that?!!!' Mayra speculated.

Weird: I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.
Dr. Professor Science: TENTACLE RAPE
Unskilled78: That's not the only organ he has that's prehensile.
Mythandariel: He had to fight the elephant for that part

There are 27 chapters of this?! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Awesome snark so far. I don't know how far you'll get into this, but I hope to see more. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Also,

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Unskilled78: the Rape of the Lock!

made me LOL IRL.

theweirdkind wrote:

For being a Silent Hill fan, the author doesn't know the names of the enemies.

Quote :

Dr. Professor Science: I WANT TO BE LIKE A NURSE
I WANT TO HAVE NO HEAD AND FOUR LEGS

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

As a side note, it's not that she's making shit up, it's that she's using the Silent Hill Centralia movie nomenclature. Which is worse.

Oh, god. :unskilled78: I read ahead. WHY DID I READ AHEAD?

Though now I'm REALLY looking forward to the next few snarks of this thing.

rae wrote:

Oh, god. :unskilled78: I read ahead. WHY DID I READ AHEAD?

Though now I'm REALLY looking forward to the next few snarks of this thing.

I've read ahead as well. I feel your pain. I'm almost done with the next chapter snark. I'm kind of doing that and the Sims 2 Let's Play as well.

Chapter 4. Or perhaps it's 3 according to the author.

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He's seen humans vomit before, but he was never bothered by it...until now.

Weird was never bothered by Pyramid Head being bothered by vomit until now, either. What a coincidence! Perhaps this is because Weird does know that Pyramid Head has raped and murdered many er... monsters and killed numerous humans. Why would a bit of vomit bother him?

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He knew that when humans threw up, it meant they were ridding their bodies of a previous meal; and making them require another meal in it's place.

In Pyramid Head's spare time, he likes to study the functions of the human body. :eng101:

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And in his situation, that wasn't good. HE would have to provide her with more food now.

A[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Isn't that sweet of him? He's going to supply food for her. What is he going to do next? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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'But what the Hell do humans eat?' He wondered, trying to search his mind for any possible answer.

Good to know that Pyramid Head does, in fact, have a functioning brain in that metal head of his.

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He might have to break his six-year silence to find out.

So much for that award he was going to receive if he made it to a ten-year silence. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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'Is she REALLY that important? So important that you should go out of your way to protect AND feed her?' His predatory instincts mocked.

I thought he only had predatory instincts. :spock:

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'Go to Hell.'

Oh God, it's one of those stupid inner demon things that fanbrats like to write. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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He hated how much power his instincts held over him. His mind was always three tracked: KILL. EAT. RAPE With the exception of the nurses, of course. Then it was simply FUCK, and that didn't cause any distress for him. It was one of his favorite past times, and they always made him feel welcomed.

HE'S JUST MISUNDERSTOOD I TELL YOU.

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"Wha...what's wrong? Is it the helmet? P...Pyramid Head?" She sounded genuinely concerned, but she had just made a serious mistake.

'What did she just call me?!!! That is NOT my name!!!' He mentally screamed.

: Yeah, my name is Steve!

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'What the Hell's wrong with me?! I need to get out of here, he almost killed me!!!...But...he did let me go...'

Not even a day has gone by and this relationship has turned into an abusive one. Soon, Mayra is going to have to go to support groups where she talks about how her lover abused her. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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'There's got to be some way I can comfort him...Music calms the savage beast, doesn't it?'

Damn, so that's all we had to do in order to save people from being attacked by bears? :unskilled78:

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Mayra cleared her throat and swallowed a few times. She recalled a song from her childhood, the one her mother used to sing to her before she died. It had been a while since she had sang, so she hoped she could remeber the words.

Jesus fucking Christ. Spare us, please.

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Pyramid Head's heavy, labored breathing slowed and he stopped trembling with rage.

She probably killed him with her godawful voice.

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This made Pyramid Head uneasy. If this creature had the power to subdue HIM with simply her VOICE... what other sort of control did she have over him?

She has super speshful ~*Sue Powers*~

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It interfered with his regularly-tracked mind, and he didn't like that. His world had always been simple until now.

It could go back to simple if you would just kill her already.

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"Dammit, Pyramid Head!!! Stop being -"

He suddenly swiveled around, swinging his blade. Mayra ducked and lost her balance. She fell to the ground and watched him stoop down to her level.

Yeah, because the totally smart the totally smart thing to do is to provoke this thing.

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He was face-to-face with her now, the pointed tip of his helmet nearly touching her nose.

"My name is Xervexagon. And you will address me as such." His thunderous voice echoed within his helmet and rattled her bones.

Wait, so the author decided to name him... Xervexagon? :headshot:

I died.

I actually ended up laughing so hard I woke my husband up when I got to the lyrics. It's bad enough the Suethor put in actual lyrics for taming the ~*~savage beast~*~ It's worse that the Princess Monoke theme is possibly the most overused friggin' lyrics in the Pit.

I wonder if it would have been worse if she'd managed to come up with her own lyrics.

Xervexagon.

Also, the author is a furry.

...damn...
I ignore one story because I haven't seen the movie yet, and this is what I miss.
And in case TWK does not persevere to chapter 25, I have a highlight spoiled below.

Spoiler:

Oh, I plan on persevering to the end with this fic. I've also seen that note..

theweirdkind wrote:

Oh, I plan on persevering to the end with this fic. I've also seen that note..

I figured she probably nicked the name from someone else, or it was a combination of two existing names, but lo and behold, look it up on Google and you'll find a listing of every single story she's ever written. So apparently, she DID actually invent it.

I Googled Xervexagon and this is what came up:

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ISN'T THAT AWESOME? I LOVE PENIS INTESTINES.

(this too:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Jesus that's almost fucking impossible to parse, it's so blurry)

DO I DETECT A NEW REMBRANDT?

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

I Googled Xervexagon and this is what came up:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

ISN'T THAT AWESOME? I LOVE PENIS INTESTINES.

(this too:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Jesus that's almost fucking impossible to parse, it's so blurry)

DO I DETECT A NEW REMBRANDT?

I noticed the artwork when I googled, but I didn't look at any of the pictures, because quite frankly, I'm afraid sex is eventually going to enter into it, and I'd like to keep what few of my brain cells that haven't committed ritual suicide intact as long as I can.

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He might have to break his six-year silence to find out.

He had a day pass for all that groaning when he was raping the Lying Figure's autopsy scar on the stairwell, I guess.

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He was face-to-face with her now, the pointed tip of his helmet nearly touching her nose.

"My name is Xervexagon. And you will address me as such." His thunderous voice echoed within his helmet and rattled her bones.

"The Red God, Xuchilbara...the Yellow God, Lobsel Vith...the Stupid Suefucker God, Xervexagon...many gods and angels."

I notice that, for fanbrats, there seems to be only one way to characterize things like Jason Voorhees, or Pyramid Head, which are basically anthropomorphic blenders with no lines. When I started reading over the excerpts here, I was wondering why it sounded so familiar - and then I realized that I was reading about the Jason Voorhees from three or four other fics that were sporked here back in the distant era of... whenever I was last active.

Sarin wrote:

I notice that, for fanbrats, there seems to be only one way to characterize things like Jason Voorhees, or Pyramid Head, which are basically anthropomorphic blenders with no lines. When I started reading over the excerpts here, I was wondering why it sounded so familiar - and then I realized that I was reading about the Jason Voorhees from three or four other fics that were sporked here back in the distant era of... whenever I was last active.

The worst part is Pyramid Head actually has potential for characterization - in the games he's a manifestation of people's guilt and Silent Hill's punishment, and I've read that the same principle is applied for his appearance in the movie.

Chapter 5

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She was going to have to get used to his real name. He obviously hated his nickname, and became fiercely violent when it was mentioned.

I thought he became fiercely violent no matter what.

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"Some place safe; Away from the grey children and other predators of...of YOUR kind." He replied.

Wait, there's a safe place in Silent Hill? This is news to me.

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Xervexagon decided that he had spoken enough for now.

Good, I was getting tired of your lame voice, anyway.

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However, with this...'Mayra'...he had made an exception. But he was still uncomfortable with the fact that she could calm him with her voice.

You're only imagining it, Pyramid Head! I told you not to rape that rotted corpse back there. It's making you hallucinate.

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'Then kill her. If she can reduce you to a tamed beast, get rid of her for good.' His instincts plagued his mind again.

'Shut up.' He snapped mentally.

I'm agreeing with his instincts now. Then again, I'm sure that patient had some drugs or something.

After that, it's Pyramid Head Xervexagon arguing with himself about the Sue.

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''Where are we?" Mayra asked. "It smells weird in here."

That may be because you're in Silent Hill.

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"Quiet." He ordered her as he firmly drug her through the darkness. He had the upper hand here, and she had no choice but to go along with and trust him.

She could also wonder off and try to survive without him.

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The place gradually became lighter with an orange glow, like that from a fire. She could see the outline of his figure now, and she felt a little safer. But she was still jittery. Where had he taken her? Somewhere no one could hear her screams if he decided to kill her?

But of course, what perfect planning. *strokes invisible beard*

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t was creepy, that's for sure. There was alot of rusty metal pipes and unsturdy-looking railings and blood-stained doors.

Hm... I wonder why. Think of the place you're at.

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"Is...isn't it ...uncomfortable, sitting on the cold, hard floor like that?" She asked.

You're asking this to a monster that has a metal pyramid-shaped thing to his head?

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"Well how do you sleep? My back would be killing me if I slept on this surface every day."

This is Pyramid Head we're talking about.

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"Why did you eat that grey child instead of me?" She blurted out suddenly.

Xervexagon was surprised by this question.

Yes, inquiring minds would like to know.

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"Because...you are not what I would consider prey. And what isn't prey, I allow to live; if they prove themselves to be useful to me."

Lamest. Answer. Ever.

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"Well if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, you'd better be prepared to fight for it. I'd never give that away." She spat.

Oh yeah? Well I think what you're thinking what he's thinking might now be what you're thinking about his thinking. However, he might be thinking that you're thinking what he's thinking.

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She held her ground and stared up at him with a cold gaze. Before she could blink, he spun her around and held both of her wrists in one hand and grabbed her head, craning her neck back with the other.

"Shit." She huffed.

You know, when Pyramid Head is holding you in a grip like that, the first thing a normal person would say probably would be "shit". They would be screaming their lungs off.

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His long, black tongue slithered out from his helmet and ran across her exposed throat in a hot, moist lick. Mayra whimpered in fear...and pleasure. She hated that her body was betraying her, but she couldn't deny that she was enjoying this.

Oh, isn't it erotic to be licked by Pyramid Head's black tongue?

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"You would be so easy to take." He growled in her ear. "But I think you know that, don't you?"

Enough of the thinking.

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She wasn't willing like the nurses, but she didn't completely deny him either. That made it intersesting.

Yes, because it would still be called rape. :eng101:

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Xervexagon was off to find the nurses.

Horny little bastard.

Check the reviews.

Lets hope the woman's matured a bit since the last time she published a reaction.