Teen bitches about parents on facebook, Dad Shoots up laptop

grmblfjx wrote:

At what point in time, what age, do you draw the line and say, well, after that I'm going to respect your property as yours, but not before, but the transition from one to the other will totally not be a problem for either of us?

That is a very good question and one of the reasons why I feel the need to qualify my statements with 'parenting is hard'. My parents would bar me from accessing my stuff as a punishment when it was needed, but they never took my stuff away from me without my ok (not that I can recall, anyway). That includes all gifts and all personal items such as blankets, clothing, toothbrushes, make-up, furniture, school supplies, etc. Expensive things like the game systems and such belonged to both me and my brother and that was made clear. When I got a TV set in my room it was also made clear that the TV was not mine and it being in my room was conditional. Eventually I bought my own TV and it was mine, and the fact I used allowance money my parents gave me to pay for it did not change that. My parents gave me a small allowance (50 cents or a dollar a week) when I was pretty young and gradually increased it and if I wanted a luxury item I got to self-prioritize and save for myself. This worked out for me, I was able to transition into earning and managing my own funds without too much difficulty. Obviously just because I feel something worked for myself does not make it the 'correct' one-and-only-way to parent (I was not a difficult child by any streach of the imagination so what worked for me would not work for every kid I guess), but food for thought.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

stuff

Well, I mean, I was raised in a household where your rights ended with an adults whim, where you belonged to your parents and, thus, all your possessions belonged to your parents. Around the same time my uncle stopped buying his daughter clothes, he started making her pay him $100 per month in rent and utilities, and if she didn't he'd start taking away her stuff, her bedroom door, her bed, other furniture, etc. My parents were always threatening to do the same. If my dad was in a foul mood, you could expect to have your stuff broken, and then he'd tell you to pay him to have it replaced, because it was his stuff after all since it was under his roof. When I was a kid I lost my favorite book because my dad tore it up coming home from work one day because he didn't feel like I was paying enough attention to him after all he had done for me. My mom threw out this teddy bear that my aunt got for me, because I was taking it everywhere, and boys aren't supposed to play with stuffed animals, and it embarrassed her, and I had an unhealthy attachment to it. And we were expected to not even flinch... it's just a thing after all. You don't need it to survive. Being attached to material things is stupid and greedy and makes you a selfish, horrible person. You still have your family, aren't we enough? You don't love us.

My cousin didn't have any furniture in her room until she was 18 and she finally got a job and she was able to buy back her bed and her door from her dad.

What I'm trying to say is, my sister, my closest cousins, and myself were all raised this way, and we all turned out perfectly fi...

... shit...

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I thought those were for steering while in nose-to-the-keyboard mode...

Yeah, Doob, that stuff is not okay. You could become the president of the world and that would not make that stuff ok.

I am really sorry btw, I wish I could magic your childhood better.

A positive spin on nasty childhood stories: The main (evolutionary) goal of child rearing is to produce a generation (the kid) that functions overall better than the one before it (the parent). This can happen in any number of directions, the parents were physically and verbally abusive, but once their kids have kids, they're just verbally abusive. That is technically an improvement, albeit a bitter one. You can pick and choose what lessons you want to have learned from your parents, regardless of whether or not they want you to. You should pick a'la carte how to live your life and raise your kids from the lessons you learned, even if you did "turn out fine".

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Hawaiian Shirt wrote:

A positive spin on nasty childhood stories: The main (evolutionary) goal of child rearing is to produce a generation (the kid) that functions overall better than the one before it (the parent). This can happen in any number of directions, the parents were physically and verbally abusive, but once their kids have kids, they're just verbally abusive. That is technically an improvement, albeit a bitter one.

That's all nice and dandy, but not technically accurate, is it? Cycles of abuse, in whatever form, have a habit to perpetuate themselves into the next generation. I'm not saying it's impossible to break these cycles, but the perpetuating of the abuse is just as likely to happen as your bitter improvements. Not every generation evolves into a better version of the one previous to it.

This story reminded me heavily of something my parents would have done to me, well, my mother more specifically. She did destroy some of my things when I was younger because she was angry at me. I used to collect Pokemon cards and video games when I was in middle school. She listened to a preacher rant about them then made me take them all outside and burn them. I was about eleven or twelve at the time, and cried because I didn't want to do it. Why did it need to be done? There were demons in those games and Pokemon cards, don'tcha know.

She also took me to Texas to be 'exorcised' by some Baptist dude because obviously my illness was caused by possession by demons.

That was before I came out to her that I was a lesbian.

I thought that was normal until a year or two ago, and it seriously fucked me up in the head when I realized just how wrong it all was.


TL;DR: When this girl gets older, she is going to need a good therapist.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

1.) I don't want to hear any whining about DA PAYTERARKY so long as women get equal scholarships for half the merit.

Really, Mikey?

Sutremaine wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

1.) I don't want to hear any whining about DA PAYTERARKY so long as women get equal scholarships for half the merit.

Really, Mikey?

Really. Sports are the Most Important Thing in the World and women are bad at them yet have sunshine blown up their ass in relation to them.

Plus, you try to pass off fake sports like softball as real sports like baseball.

Jay/Cris wrote:

Hawaiian Shirt wrote:

A positive spin on nasty childhood stories: The main (evolutionary) goal of child rearing is to produce a generation (the kid) that functions overall better than the one before it (the parent). This can happen in any number of directions, the parents were physically and verbally abusive, but once their kids have kids, they're just verbally abusive. That is technically an improvement, albeit a bitter one.

That's all nice and dandy, but not technically accurate, is it? Cycles of abuse, in whatever form, have a habit to perpetuate themselves into the next generation.

Not that my anecdote makes what you just said inaccurate, but what Hawaiian Shirt just described is pretty much exactly what happened with my family.

TheHedonist wrote:

Jay/Cris wrote:

Hawaiian Shirt wrote:

A positive spin on nasty childhood stories: The main (evolutionary) goal of child rearing is to produce a generation (the kid) that functions overall better than the one before it (the parent). This can happen in any number of directions, the parents were physically and verbally abusive, but once their kids have kids, they're just verbally abusive. That is technically an improvement, albeit a bitter one.

That's all nice and dandy, but not technically accurate, is it? Cycles of abuse, in whatever form, have a habit to perpetuate themselves into the next generation.

Not that my anecdote makes what you just said inaccurate, but what Hawaiian Shirt just described is pretty much exactly what happened with my family.

Yeh, what I've noticed is the family members who stay in Buttfuck Nowhere tend to take on the previous generation's abusive traits (psychological/verbal abuse and excess manipulation), and those who manage to get out and never come back are actually kind of sort of decent.

Jay/Cris that can be true on individual cases, but sometimes it takes multiple examples across multiple generations to finally knock enough sense into one person to break off. Or, it could be that a new generation got significantly better in one category, in this example, let's say empathy, thoughtfulness, intelligence, but they're kind of a pussy, or maybe they have shitty work ethic that the previous generation didn't share. So long as it's a net gain, then it's still a gain. It's hard to pin it to one metric. These are all very scattered thoughts I'm sorry.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Just because you give someone the money to buy a thing does not mean that thing belongs to you, nor does something belonging to your child mean that it belongs to you. If I gave my neighbor a couple thousand dollars and they bought a computer and then I went over to their house and smashed it in with a hammer, I would be arrested. This attitude that just because parenting is hard and expensive (something most people who have children are aware of) somehow that means that children are property and not real people capable of owning things or even having their own opinions (keep in mind that having an opinion is basically what this girl was being punished for) is downright scary to me.

I'd like to think this had something to do with her comments being slanderous, but you do have to wonder. Her dad doesn't talk about the amount of trouble he could have been in if CPS thought he was using his daughter as a servant, nor does he refer to the fact that she was slandering him. Not that this would make what he did OK, but it is somewhat less extreme if you take that into account.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Around the same time my uncle stopped buying his daughter clothes, he started making her pay him $100 per month in rent and utilities, and if she didn't he'd start taking away her stuff, her bedroom door, her bed, other furniture, etc.

How the fuck is a thirteen-year-old supposed to raise rent every month? I would rage so much right now, if I was even slightly surprised. -.-

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I thought those were for steering while in nose-to-the-keyboard mode...

Ah, but Mikey wasn't there at the time, so they were freed up for other things.

Anon wrote:

I'd like to think this had something to do with her comments being slanderous,

Haha, 'your words are making me look like a bad parent so imma post proof I am a bad parent on YouTube!'

But you make a good point I had not considered. His reaction was still wrong, but I can see where the girl probably needed to be talked to about the possible consequences of her actions that she may not have thought about whereas before I was kind of thinking that her whining at her peers should probably be handled by her peers and that her parents should have just stayed out of it.

I guess if she learned the lesson of not posting complaints about authority figures on Facebook then at least it'll be easier for her to keep a job

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How the fuck is a thirteen-year-old supposed to raise rent every month? I would rage so much right now, if I was even slightly surprised. -.-

Well, don't you see? She was supposed to have a job at that point, instead of just lazing around being a lazy teenager. He had to work, his wife had to work, why did she expect to just be able to sit around and do nothing all day? She was an adult now, she had to live in an adult world. Plus, he spent so much money on her, it was time she helped lighten the load.

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Ah, but Mikey wasn't there at the time, so they were freed up for other things.

So you're only oppressing his internet presence? You're a very bad feminazi. The Gynocracy is ashamed.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

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How the fuck is a thirteen-year-old supposed to raise rent every month? I would rage so much right now, if I was even slightly surprised. -.-

Well, don't you see? She was supposed to have a job at that point, instead of just lazing around being a lazy teenager. He had to work, his wife had to work, why did she expect to just be able to sit around and do nothing all day? She was an adult now, she had to live in an adult world. Plus, he spent so much money on her, it was time she helped lighten the load.

Yeeeeah, your uncle is a huge asshole.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Yeah, Doob, that stuff is not okay. You could become the president of the world and that would not make that stuff ok.

I am really sorry btw, I wish I could magic your childhood better.

Ditto.

*hugs for Mr. Doobie*

Mr.Doobie wrote:

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Ah, but Mikey wasn't there at the time, so they were freed up for other things.

So you're only oppressing his internet presence? You're a very bad feminazi. The Gynocracy is ashamed.

But if I start stalking him and/or spend a shitload of money to fly out there and oppress him in person, I give him way too much power over me and my life and the roles reverse again, so what's a girl to do?!

Have you ever considered astral projection?