Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

EileenK98 wrote:

I have never seen Adam Sandler as funny. Never.

Thank god. I thought I was the only person who found him about as funny as jokes about Nazi Death Camps.

Rabid Badger wrote:

jokes about Nazi Death Camps.

Don't give them any ideas.

My family loves Adam Sandler. I still haven't seen one movie with him in it that I liked.

He would make an excellent straight man to someone who's actually funny, but movie makers will never realize that.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

My family loves Adam Sandler. I still haven't seen one movie with him in it that I liked.

He would make an excellent straight man to someone who's actually funny, but movie makers will never realize that.

Try The Longest Yard. It's prolly the least Adam Sander-y Adam Sandler film.

[edit: It's also worth watching to see WWE Wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin put in a better performance than everyone else including Burt Reynolds and James Cromwell. Just a shame Steve's exit from the movie is so... juvenile.

The film's not entirely Sandler-less.

The only movie of his that I've seen is 50 First Dates. It didn't seem all that bad.

Quote :

It became the highest grossing Mexican-produced film ever.

Beating what, exactly? A feature length Donkey Show?

Eileen wrote:

I have never seen Adam Sandler as funny. Never.

Your opinions on what is and what isn't funny became laughable the minute you started dating Chris.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Eileen wrote:

I have never seen Adam Sandler as funny. Never.

Your opinions on what is and what isn't funny became laughable the minute you started dating Chris.

See that line? You just crossed it.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

-waits for the inevitable explosion from chris-

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Your opinions on what is and what isn't funny became laughable the minute you started dating Chris.

So you think Adam Sandler is funny then?

Pshhht would you really be surprised?

Hot Cancer wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Your opinions on what is and what isn't funny became laughable the minute you started dating Chris.

So you think Adam Sandler is funny then?

THE WATERBOY

A THIRTY YEAR OLD SCHMUCK GETS TO PLAY COLLEGE FOOTBALL BECAUSE HE IS A AWESOME TACKLER

IT IS MIKEY'S ULTIMATE FANTASY

I admit, "Happy Gilmore" made me laugh. However, in general I would agree with the seemingly-prevailing opinion that Sandler is about as funny as a particularly itchy genital rash.

>Implying Happy Gilmore wasn't hilarious
>Implying Anger Management wasn't decent (if only for Jack Nicholson playing a fucking lunatic, the man has such range)

Goddamn plebes.

I'm still waiting for Sandler to get so short on ideas that he resorts to making "Happy Gilmore 2: The Happyning." Because really, the world isn't a complete shit hole as long as classics like Happy Gilmore are left unviolated.

Honestly, after Jack and Jill, I thought he had completely ran out of ideas. I mean, it's kind of hard to make something like that when you have ANY other options.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

I'm still waiting for Sandler to get so short on ideas that he resorts to making "Happy Gilmore 2: The Happyning." Because really, the world isn't a complete shit hole as long as classics like Happy Gilmore are left unviolated.

Honestly, after Jack and Jill, I thought he had completely ran out of ideas. I mean, it's kind of hard to make something like that when you have ANY other options.

I can't fucking believe this, but I for once, agree with mikey on something.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

>Implying Anger Management wasn't decent (if only for Jack Nicholson playing a fucking lunatic, the man has such range)

Jack Nicholson was funny. It only lends more credence to my theory that Sandler should be foil to actual comedians instead of trying to be one.

Sauce

Quote :

Josh Trank has signed with Sony Pictures to develop to direct Shadow Of The Colossus, a big-scale live-action adaptation of the bestselling Sony video game.

This will suck.

There's really no two ways about it. There is no way that a non-interactive medium can come close to recreating the emotional investment players had with the game.

Also, to quote, as I often do, Rob Bricken from Topless Robot

Quote :

"Strong narrative arc"? Um, I love the game, but here's the game's entire story: Kill 16 freaky-ass giants, and then feel bad about it.

WD40 wrote:

Sauce

Quote :

Josh Trank has signed with Sony Pictures to develop to direct Shadow Of The Colossus, a big-scale live-action adaptation of the bestselling Sony video game.

This will suck.

There's really no two ways about it. There is no way that a non-interactive medium can come close to recreating the emotional investment players had with the game.

Also, to quote, as I often do, Rob Bricken from Topless Robot

Quote :

"Strong narrative arc"? Um, I love the game, but here's the game's entire story: Kill 16 freaky-ass giants, and then feel bad about it.

That's ten times the plot of Battleship, nad they made a movie about that.

SOTC is one of those game worlds that, in my view, don't gain much in a static, live-action adaptation.

It's like making a movie out of God of War. What are you going to put in it that isn't already in the games? inb4 sex

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

SOTC is one of those game worlds that, in my view, don't gain much in a static, live-action adaptation.

It's like making a movie out of God of War. What are you going to put in it that isn't already in the games? inb4 sex

Something utterly made of fail, most likely.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

SOTC is one of those game worlds that, in my view, don't gain much in a static, live-action adaptation.

It's like making a movie out of God of War. What are you going to put in it that isn't already in the games? inb4 sex

I don't think we need to worry about sex in a God of War movie. There are mini-games that do a pretty good job about covering that.

I've had concerns over the new Spider-man movie for a while.

This reboot shouldn't exist in the first place. I don't like the casting of Garfield, All the clips have shown the film to be really "gritty" in theme, and Spider-man, although he does deal with dark subjects, should be a colourful character. I HATE the design of the Lizard, and now that I've seen this featurette - I'm convinced that Spider-Man will suck something chronic.



As one Topless Robot commenter pointed out - "We spent a lot of time looking at the jaw - and then just thought: Fuck it, we'll go with the Goomba from the Super Mario movie."

There is so much wrong with this film, it's actually making this look decent.

From Bloody-Disgusting with regards to the Mortal Kombat Reboot Movie that's been kicking around in the background since the recent Webseries:

Quote :

Kevin Tancharoen still attached to direct from Oren Uziel’s screenplay, we’ve exclusively discovered that the live-action reboot will follow a lowly unlucky supermarket employee who discovers that he has out of this world powers and must decide between good and evil, even though the evil side has helped him discover his true potential and who he really is.

WHY????

^ Because no one cares about the plot to Mortal Kombat?

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

^ Because no one cares about the plot to Mortal Kombat?

I care

Also the director, Kevin Tancharoen, was the guy behind the web series. It was his vision of the franchise's possibility to be an adult, gritty story that was what got the fucking film greenlighted in the first place!

In short:

WD40 wrote:

I care

My condolences.