Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

If there's a Live Action Akira, I predict that it will be disgustingly Americanised and will suck as a result because there's no way they're going to allow the main protragonist to be a womanising juvenile delinquent and one of his best friends is a young homosexual with a crush on him and that is one of the survivors.

I heard Zac Efron might end up playing Kaneda and Morgan Freeman as the Colonel. I dunno how that'll turn out, because it seems like he gets signed up for a lot of adaptions that end up going nowhere. Whatever happened to him playing Light in Death Note or even Sousuke in Full Metal Panic?

Search me.

I think they're forgetting the Colonel's actual personality in favour of signing in a famous black person.

Quote :

a Marvin The Martian movie with Mike Myers in the starring role*

No no no no NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!

This.

What.

What.

THOOOOOR....

He's a wrestler.

Alhazred wrote:

This.

What.

What.

Uh, they couldn't get ANYONE for that movie? I've never heard of any of the "stars" or the director. And who is this Herman Melville fag?

Also, who the fuck has a peg leg in 2010? Who the hell loses a leg to a whale in 2010? And what kind of retard would get himself killed trying to kill a whale in 2010 when you can hunt it with a fucking battleship?

Now, the original Moby Dick was fucking horrible, so changing everything about it might actually work. But I don't think it will.

Alhazred wrote:

This.

What.

What.

Brother, you took the words right out of my mouth.

As for Steven Carrell.... well, the films he's in are typical American humour: over the top, in your face, embarrassing, juvenile and just.not.funny. (imo of course)

The only show that fits this description and I happen to love is South Park. But that's a parody of everything and its dog, so that doesn't count.

I'm going to go watch Harry Potter two days from now.... I expect it to be less idiotic than the book, but every bit as lulzy.

I dread the release of Avatar (James Cameron's, i.e.) parts two, three, whatever. The first one was awful enough. What are the other ones going to be about? I thought the smurfs already got the sky people off Endor.... uh, Pandora. Why would the humans come back? They got defeated by the Wicca Goddess already.

Santa Paws

I just about choked on my tongue when I saw the ad for this. Yetch.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Alhazred wrote:

This.

What.

What.

Uh, they couldn't get ANYONE for that movie? I've never heard of any of the "stars" or the director.

Renee O'Connor played Gabrielle in Xena: Warrior Princess.

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

Santa Paws

I just about choked on my tongue when I saw the ad for this. Yetch.

Just the IMDB entry sound positively vomit worthy.

Bit early, but I can't see this being anything but a trainwreck.

Yes, it is based on the boardgame. Granted, Peter Berg is behind it, but one can only do so much with a shitty premise.

Aggie wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Alhazred wrote:

This.

What.

What.

Uh, they couldn't get ANYONE for that movie? I've never heard of any of the "stars" or the director.

Renee O'Connor played Gabrielle in Xena: Warrior Princess.

lol at the blatant ripoff of the Jaws poster.

Aggie wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Alhazred wrote:

This.

What.

What.

Uh, they couldn't get ANYONE for that movie? I've never heard of any of the "stars" or the director.

Renee O'Connor played Gabrielle in Xena: Warrior Princess.

And Barry Bostwick's been in, like, everything, including Rocky Horror. Although his role in Lexx might be a better reference for this thing.

Sheba wrote:

Bit early, but I can't see this being anything but a trainwreck.

Yes, it is based on the boardgame. Granted, Peter Berg is behind it, but one can only do so much with a shitty premise.

Noo Liam Neeson, stay away, stay away! D:

...Why couldn't it have been Minesweeper the Movie instead? WHY?

Raine wrote:

Sheba wrote:

Bit early, but I can't see this being anything but a trainwreck.

Yes, it is based on the boardgame. Granted, Peter Berg is behind it, but one can only do so much with a shitty premise.

Noo Liam Neeson, stay away, stay away! D:

...Why couldn't it have been Minesweeper the Movie instead? WHY?

How are they going to come up with a plot for this? (That hasn't been done a thousand times already, and better.)

EileenK98 wrote:

Raine wrote:

Sheba wrote:

Bit early, but I can't see this being anything but a trainwreck.

Yes, it is based on the boardgame. Granted, Peter Berg is behind it, but one can only do so much with a shitty premise.

Noo Liam Neeson, stay away, stay away! D:

...Why couldn't it have been Minesweeper the Movie instead? WHY?

How are they going to come up with a plot for this? (That hasn't been done a thousand times already, and better.)

Apparently the plot is about aliens, and the U.S Navy fighting off said aliens.

So basicly, Independance Day only crappy.

Sheba wrote:

EileenK98 wrote:

Raine wrote:

Sheba wrote:

Bit early, but I can't see this being anything but a trainwreck.

Yes, it is based on the boardgame. Granted, Peter Berg is behind it, but one can only do so much with a shitty premise.

Noo Liam Neeson, stay away, stay away! D:

...Why couldn't it have been Minesweeper the Movie instead? WHY?

How are they going to come up with a plot for this? (That hasn't been done a thousand times already, and better.)

Apparently the plot is about aliens, and the U.S Navy fighting off said aliens.

So basically, Independence Day only crappier.

Fixed that...

But y'know, on the bright side, the only way the movie could be worse is if Joel Shumacher or Uwe Boll worked on it.

There's a scary thought.

Warner Brothers rebooting Buffy.. Without Joss Whedon.

Do not want at all.

That's going to work out real well, I'm sure...

ZoZo wrote:

Warner Brothers rebooting Buffy.. Without Joss Whedon.

Do not want at all.

I was pissed when I heard about this.

Buffy without Joss is like Harry Potter without J.K. Rowling. It just doesn't happen. I really don't understand why they're rebooting this. Oh wait, perhaps it has something to do with Twilight. If that's so, I shudder to think of how this movie will turn out.

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

Santa Paws

I just about choked on my tongue when I saw the ad for this. Yetch.

The poor parents who have to watch this with their kids.

Red Riding Hood

What.

The.

Fuck.

There are no words to properly convey my unbridled rage for Hollywood's incompetence, save for screaming, storming across the nation and killing the writers, the producers, and the director with a crowbar. As if the Yogi Bear trailer wasn't enough to infuriate me, this just proves how low Hollywood has sunk. Just from the trailer, it's going to a werewolf-only rehash of Twilight set in medieval times. That doesn't seem cohesive enough, does it?