The Greatest Mary-Sue Writer Of All Time

"I get the most powerful feeling that the personality of this girl is what she thinks she's like. Looks are more difficult to decide but at the least it's what she WANTS to look like."

LOL, I found a picture of the author. She's got acne from Hell and her hair is very obviously died black. She is NOT attractive by any means. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Well then, I guess having tried to look like the OCs in her fanfic, it's what she wants to look like.

That's wonderful. But also totally irrelevant.

AhLawdy wrote:

"I get the most powerful feeling that the personality of this girl is what she thinks she's like. Looks are more difficult to decide but at the least it's what she WANTS to look like."

LOL, I found a picture of the author. She's got acne from Hell and her hair is very obviously died black. She is NOT attractive by any means. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

mmm, AhLawdy... we try to laugh at fanbrats for their brattery, not for their looks.

Or at least we claim to.

Now, now, people. There's no need to make fun of her looks.

Her appalling writing skills are providing us with all the snarking properties that we need.

A single tear travels down my flawless cheek (intended cliche) as I discover sporking bad fics is not dead. Imagine my surprise after finding you all again. Sniff! It's been far too long. So I'm getting caught up with all the new releases and I'm a bit late for this one. HOWEVER...

Did anyone notice this listed in her profile?

Blutige Liebe » reviews
this is a story of a german girl raised by nazis who falls in love ith a nazi soldierSchindler's List - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-23-09

Since the entire plot is laid out so well in the summary, I don't think we need to bother actually reading the fic do we? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] A cold shiver just went down my spine. Brrrrrrrr!

Kermit wrote:

A single tear travels down my flawless cheek (intended cliche) as I discover sporking bad fics is not dead. Imagine my surprise after finding you all again. Sniff! It's been far too long. So I'm getting caught up with all the new releases and I'm a bit late for this one. HOWEVER...

Did anyone notice this listed in her profile?

Blutige Liebe » reviews
this is a story of a german girl raised by nazis who falls in love ith a nazi soldierSchindler's List - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-23-09

Since the entire plot is laid out so well in the summary, I don't think we need to bother actually reading the fic do we? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] A cold shiver just went down my spine. Brrrrrrrr!

Well, at least the girl isn't Jewish. That's a small comfort. Very small, but we have to take what comfort we can here on wugwuh.

My review of Myth That I Have to Believe in {sic}:

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In only the first few paragraphs of the first chapter, you've achieved a remarkably effective characterization. A woman of eighteen is legally allowed to live and go where she likes ... unless she's under some sort of guardianship. You character would legally be allowed to stay in her home town: she would not have to resort to begging her parents to "let" her stay.

But why does she? Why is she incapable of persuading her parents that she, like any other adult, can take care of herself? It can only be because she's mentally incompetent -- and, like many mentally challenged people, has been reared to be very dependent.

And, in a few effective strokes, you establish her as being exactly that. She can identify her parents only as being "some special type of doctors": most ten-year-olds would be able to say "My dad's a heart surgeon", so your heroine must be functioning at a lower level than that. Perhaps she's intellectually about seven or eight? And then, bingo: in the very next paragraph you have her whining "Mom, dad, are we almost there?", like a small child -- impossibly bored after only three hours, as only someone can be who can neither help with the driving nor read a map. Nor, apparently, read.

The only glitch is that you have her claiming to be "halfway through senior year": no one functioning at this intellectual level could make it INTO a conventional high school without very significant help.

Heheheh. That's vaguely mean, but appropriate to the character.

Oh, CactusWren, your review cracked me up. I almost forgotten the joy of pointing out the flaws to the writer. Not that I could do it in such a precise and funny way

Reading those exerpts I began to wonder. If she has such a big crush on undead, psycho killers who are horribly burned or decomposed - I wonder why she did not choose Matt Cordell as the object for her affection. He is basically Freddy and Jason combined, except for the dreams thingy, and he is actually looking for a(n undead) bride.

Not that I would recommend him to her, Matt deserves better than these shallow, mentally defective Sues she tends to write.

While I am working on a story where the girl will end up killing her father, at least it is over something more than about which school activities she favours. Is it that hard to actually come up with a real reason for wanting to kill your parents? Then again, her character is obviously a major psycho and I guess they don't need a good reason.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Did anyone notice this listed in her profile?

Blutige Liebe » reviews
this is a story of a german girl raised by nazis who falls in love ith a nazi soldierSchindler's List - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-23-09

Since the entire plot is laid out so well in the summary, I don't think we need to bother actually reading the fic do we? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] A cold shiver just went down my spine. Brrrrrrrr!

I. Hate. Weird. BDSM. Holocaust. Romances. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Seriously, if these warped little Nazi fangirls actually saw (or SMELLED) a concentration camp, their libidos would never recover. They may like men in uniform, but they certainly wouldn't be up for watching a twelve-year-old boy die of dysentery. Note: the dying twelve-year-old boy exemplifies 99.9% of the Holocaust. Hotties in uniform? 0.01%. And those hotties would beat you to death.

Has this girl even seen SL? Does this girl know that SL subtly parodied/denounced weird BDSM Holocaust romances by including a sad, creepy, deeply unsexy rape scene? No and no.

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

To be fair, judging by the summary, the fic could just be about an ordinary Wehrmacht soldier and his sweetheart ("a German girl raised by Nazis" could mean quite a number of people in that era), trying to survive the war and have some kind of life afterwards. If it's set in a concentration camp, then obviously that's different.

Edit: OK, scrap that, it's about HIMMLER'S DAUGHTER becoming the belle of the ball, having dinner with Hitler, and falling for a random concentration camp guard.

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I woke up to the sound of the Nazi soldiers yelling at their victims. This is the only bad part about living near the biggest concentration/death camp. I see all the action. I know what's going on...I know that I have a twisted mind when I feel a smile appear on my face as I see some random, and most likely innocent, person get shot in the head for no reason at all...Any normal person would fear living here, but I love it.

Oh, the Mary Sueness! Oh, the sadism! Oh, the historical innacuracies*! Oh, the pain! Yes, it's a weird BDSM Holocaust romance! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


* Heinrich Himmler, and indeed all top Nazis, kept their families far away from their "work." Himmler's daughter would NOT have lived within walking distance of a concentration camp.

...That is beyond disturbed. This girl worries me.

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything that has to deal with Schndlers List.

You all might think I'm crazy for writing this, but I have a strange fascination to Nazi soldiers. Like, I seriously love them, so this will be a romance.
WARNING: If you are Jewish, I highly recommend you not reading this. I am not racist against Jewish people, but this will be about the Holocaust as well, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

What the fuck? What the actual fuck? This isn't in character, this is the author's disclaimer to the story. Bloody hell.
Also:

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"Thank you. I'm also a bit of a cluts. I fall a lot. And run into things a lot" I said, trying not to blush.

Exactly one (1) flaw...

Fitchsticks wrote:

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"Thank you. I'm also a bit of a cluts. I fall a lot. And run into things a lot" I said, trying not to blush.

Exactly one (1) flaw...

It's NAZI BELLA!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

littledorrit wrote:

It's NAZI BELLA!

Oh crap, that suggestion from the Alternate History boards about how to make Twilight worse is coming true...

littledorrit wrote:

* Heinrich Himmler, and indeed all top Nazis, kept their families far away from their "work." Himmler's daughter would NOT have lived within walking distance of a concentration camp.

I blame John Boyne. His moronic protagonist in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas lives NEXT DOOR to a concentration camp, yet has no clue what it is, what a Jew is, or that his father is RUNNING THE DAMN PLACE.

myeerah wrote:

littledorrit wrote:

* Heinrich Himmler, and indeed all top Nazis, kept their families far away from their "work." Himmler's daughter would NOT have lived within walking distance of a concentration camp.

I blame John Boyne. His moronic protagonist in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas lives NEXT DOOR to a concentration camp, yet has no clue what it is, what a Jew is, or that his father is RUNNING THE DAMN PLACE.

My late father was in Germany and Poland during World War II, and helped liberate several concentration camps. He absolutely refused to talk about what he saw there to anyone. The only thing he ever mentioned was that they were always set up in the middle of nowhere; mostly, he supposed, because it made it harder for the prisoners to escape, since there were nowhere to run or hide if, by some miraculous chance, you did make it out.

myeerah wrote:

littledorrit wrote:

* Heinrich Himmler, and indeed all top Nazis, kept their families far away from their "work." Himmler's daughter would NOT have lived within walking distance of a concentration camp.

I blame John Boyne. His moronic protagonist in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas lives NEXT DOOR to a concentration camp, yet has no clue what it is, what a Jew is, or that his father is RUNNING THE DAMN PLACE.

Wasn't he supposed to be like, five?

I didn't see the movie but I read the book a while back. I don't think I would have figured that out at five years old.

Rabid Badger wrote:

My late father was in Germany and Poland during World War II, and helped liberate several concentration camps. He absolutely refused to talk about what he saw there to anyone. The only thing he ever mentioned was that they were always set up in the middle of nowhere; mostly, he supposed, because it made it harder for the prisoners to escape, since there were nowhere to run or hide if, by some miraculous chance, you did make it out.

This, though, bugged me throughout the entire book. Good to know it wasn't just me.

Rabid Badger wrote:

The only thing he ever mentioned was that they were always set up in the middle of nowhere; mostly, he supposed, because it made it harder for the prisoners to escape, since there were nowhere to run or hide if, by some miraculous chance, you did make it out.

Not strictly true, at least in the case of Buchenwald. It's only a stone's throw from Weimar, even though it is in the forest. It was originally mostly a munitions work camp/ Russian execution plant, though it went to a special and miserable kind of hell late in the war when it added a new section in the mud with repurposed chicken coops and 5-deep sleeping shelves. This was when they started taking excess from other camps, and had stopped being mostly "fit" males (i.e. JUST working people to death). Of course, the fact that they'd built an incinerator to help clean up disease casualties and the fact that the local SS considered it their playground meant it never was even remotely pleasant, it just got worse beyond imagining over time.

All that is to say that a good many people nearby DID know there were 'some things going on', and Patton got absolutely livid over the fact that nobody stopped it. He force-marched everyone in Weimar to the camp so that they couldn't claim ignorance of what had happened and to impress on them the absolute horror.
Also as proof, saying that people would deny it otherwise [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] .

I went there last ... June I think it was. Sobering place in the rain. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

littledorrit wrote:

I. Hate. Weird. BDSM. Holocaust. Romances. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Hey now, The Night Porter was really fucking fascinating.

BDSM, holocaust, killing, romances? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Yup this sounds like the work of a majikal fanfict writer who believes in twu love and happily evar after with seemingly no response to real life logic.

Blood and Thunder

So, I thought I'd check out one of her fics for my first posting. I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but it's worth a try, right?

You guys weren't kidding. She sucks. Six chapters of suck, and the story really isn't going anywhere. Someone needs a new hobby.

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Name: Natalie Kitching
Age:27
Background Info: You have a twisted mind. You love the grotesque and disturbing things of life. You sometimes have fantasies about being with a serial killer. You have never told anyone this, but you are madly in love with the infamous serial killer, Michael Myers. Everyone here fears him. You on the other hand, adore him. You with that one day you will meet him.And ever since you heard the campfire story about the Camp Blood killer who wears a hockey mask, you want to meet him as well. Too bad that he is only a campfire story. But who knows. Maybe he is real too.

Why is the background written like this? I'm not a psycho, nor do I adore them or want to meet them. Personally, I think women who fall for serial killers are really fucked in the head. So, next time, leave me and others out of your sick fantasies.

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As for me, I am spending the night in the Myers' house. My plan is that Michael will come back home so I can meet him. I don't care if he kills me. I'm 27, I've lived a long enough of a life.

Right. Because, seriously, who wants to live to be 30?

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I can't keep a boyfriend either, so there's one less thing that I have to worry about tonight.

Yeah, guys don't usually stick around after they find out their girlfriend fantasizes about serial killers.

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If you are wondering, I do this almost every single halloween night.

I'm not wondering. Although, I am wondering why I should care.

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I then made my way over to the staircase and made my way upstairs. This is the part that scared me the most because I know that this house is old and it hasn't had any repairs or anything, so I never know if the stairs are going to fall out from under me.

She's going to meet a serial killer, and the stairs are scaring her. Too bad she didn't fall down them and end this fic right there.

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I didn't sit back down on the bed because the sheets are extremely filthy and I don't want to get some strange illness.

She's not worried about the one she'll probably get from screwing the psycho.

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The man must have noticed a presence behind him and turned around and screamed like a little girl, causing me to panic at what he is screaming about.

He has eyes in the back of his head, and she's facing the dark shape and can't understand why the man is panicking.

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The closer he got to me, the more I started to panic. Sure the whole reason why I came here every year was to see if I could see him, but now that I do see him, I starting wondering why I really wanted to see him.

I've been wondering that for the past 4 chapters.

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But then I realized that fear isn't the only emotion in me right now. There's also excitement. I though about that and soon I wasn't so afraid anymore.

The next time I'm afraid of something, I'm gonna get excited and see if that helps.

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"Um, if you like the smell of it, I have more of that lotion" I said. Oh great, I just made myself sound like an idiot.

Trust me, you've been sounding like an idiot throughout this entire story.

So, now Michael takes her to his room, just so he can gag her. Then they leave, and walk somewhere that takes 4 hours. She "must have fallen asleep". How she knew 4 hours have passed and why Michael didn't take a car, I don't know. But, then again, I really can't bring myself to care.

It hasn't been updated in ages, which is a good sign.

So, did I do this right?

Kelley28 as far as I can tell your snark is well within standards _{but then again I just delurked recently too so}

no one wants to live to thirty though it's way too old. Y'know, guys grow body hair and a lot of people have kids and most thirty year olds don't spend all their time writing obsessive fanfic about serial killers ew [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]