DragonBall V, Season One: Mary Sue, Mary Sue, Does Whatever a Sue Can Do

Another repost from Orange GAFF.

I present for your delectation Season One of DragonBall V, a Dagwood sandwich of godawfulness! This fic leaves an especially rancid aftertaste because the Mary Sue, Valis, is well written at first. She is burdened by guilt and grief, not the usual whiny self-pity; she has a fierce fighting spirit, but she isn't arrogant or rude. Unfortunately, good characterization doesn't work with the preposterous plot, so everything likable about Valis is hacked away bit by bit. The remains are served between thick layers of exposition and redundancy with a garnish of bad Japanese.
Alka-Seltzer on hand? Good. Let's dig in!

As our story begins, fairly soon after the end of Dragonball GT, a woman and a talking white wolf are infodumping in Heaven. The wolf is named Pogo. While I could make a lot of hay out of that name, it really isn't unusual for DB, which features aliens named after vegetables, heroes named after underwear, and nasty bad guys named Bibbety-Bobbety-Boo. Besides, there's lots more material to work with.

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"Your majesty? Are you sure the Messiah will be alright? Being the mother of the new saiya-jin race and Universal Queen will be very difficult for her. Especially since she doesn't remember anything about her past." Valis's amnesia "was to keep her safe until she was among her protecters." In other words, it's a setup for scenes in which yet another facet of her wonderfulness is revealed to the amazement of all, including Valis. It's also the source of her redeeming qualities, though, so enjoy it while it lasts.


"My daughter , Pogo, is a saiya-jin. She can do anything, even swim upstream against a flood of backstory. But the author is going to drown her in it in the end." A male voice piped in. Soon, another shadowy figure appeared, this one male and very familiar looking hairstyle.

That's Bardock, on furlough from Hell. "Her majesty" is his late wife the Solar Queen of Eugenia, mother of our main character. Pogo is an immortal who can resurrect people with a thought, as he does for both Piccolo and Goku. XZanayu wrote this series as an improvement on DBGT. Okay!

Anyway, the scene goes on for a while and backstory runs amuck. XZanayu has to keep interrupting the plot with long expository conversations because she's done something I've never seen before: written four Suefics in one. Her protagonist is:

• Princess Valis of Aeon, who takes refuge on Chikyuu along with her faithful lady's maid, Rowan. Valis marries her handsome Namekian sensei and together they battle RoJin, the evil overlord who destroyed her planet. Rowan provides the nifty gadgets and sexy outfits.
  
• Princess Valis of Vegetasei, daughter of Bardock and half-sister of Goku, who earned her high rank by becoming Prince Vegeta's childhood fiancee. She is the Chosen One, the Ultra Super Solar Saiya-jin, and the fairest of them all. She is destined to marry Vegeta and be the mother of the new Saiya-jin race.
  
• Solar Princess Valis of Eugenia, the twelfth Valis Warrior, guardian angel of the universe. With the aid of her millennia-old beautiful young warrior women and Pogo, she breaks up canon couples and battles the Darkness that seeks to devour creation.
  
• Universal Queen Valis, "the key to peace for the entire universe" (whose resemblance to Neo-Queen Serenity is purely coincidental), the universally beloved Messiah who is destined to rule over the Universal Utopia with her consort, Piccolo (whose resemblance to Endymion is utterly surreal).
  

Valis, honey, when do you sleep?

XZanayu seems to realize that her creation exceeds even the high bizarreness threshold of DB canon. To fix this, she keeps sticking her head into the story and commanding canon characters to [reverb]BOW TO THE SUE.[/reverb] Here she is as Valis's mother:

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"You and Piccolo have been chosen by HER as two of HER protectors. The others will be contacted by HER after SHE arrives on Earth."


"SHE is coming here?!" Piccolo said excitedly. "Oh, wow! Can I get HER autograph?"

The figure seemed to smile,but Goku and Piccolo couldn't tell. "Yes. The Messiah has chosen Earth as HER new home and the place where SHE will rule the universe from. In HER eyes, Earth is the most beautiful and humble of all the planets in the universe. coughVEGETAcoughCELLcoughBUU The Messiah does not chose unwisely."

"When will SHE arrive and what does SHE look like?" Goku asked.

"Soon. You will know HER not by HER appearance, but by HER aura. HER aura's shine surpasses all auras in the universe. A gamma ray burster is coming to your planet. Rejoice! But, now I must go and you will forget all that I have told you except that you were brought back to life by some unknown force. Do not worry. You will remember all that happen here eventually. All your bishounen are belong to Us. I bid you farewell."

The ship carrying Valis and Rowan lands at Kami's Lookout. This fits DB canon--interlopers who want to take over often start by showing up at the Lookout uninvited--but it's really because Dende and the King of Planet Aeon wrote to each other regularly. (How?) The king never got around to telling Dende about RoJin; in fact, he seems to have placidly carried on being Dende's pen pal right through the eighteen-year siege of Aeon until RoJin finally blew the place up. You'd think that in all that time, he could have squeezed it into a PS or something--"BTW, a super-powered madman with a large army is trying to obliterate us; so how's the weather on Chikyuu?" Oh, well; it's not as if Dende knows anybody who could have helped. On to more important things! Like how Dende and Mr. Popo both think Valis is gorgeous.

The King's last message tells Dende about Valis's [reverb]DESTINY[/reverb] and asks him to "send her to the nameck warrior named Piccolo for training." Dende passes on this request to Piccolo, but Piccolo, hanging on to his canon self with all ten pointy fingernails, protests: he's not a teacher by nature; if the student shows such promise, Dende should find somebody else. But Dende is the instrument of [reverb]DESTINY![/reverb] He brilliantly out-argues Piccolo with Suvian logic!

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"You are the harshest martial art's master in the land and you are the teacher that was named to be Valis' sensei."


"By whom?"

"That I cannot say. Will you train her?"

How could he not agree?

Then they meet. Rowan also knows about the [reverb]DESTINY[/reverb], so she stacks the deck by dressing the Princess in a little white skintight outfit. She needn't have bothered; Piccolo doesn't stand a chance.

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Piccolo felt a pleasant uneasiness in his stomach that he had never felt before as he looked at her, and to his amazement, he began to wonder what it would be like to kiss those lips and to hold and caress the body he knew must be soft and warm. It was his first experience with beer goggles. His eyes traveled down the length of her gorgeous frame, then back to her eyes. Such beautiful eyes, he thought. She had eyes that hid nothing in their depths. That's a good thing?

And Piccolo just has to be the World's Sexiest Asexual:

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Piccolo's handsomeness stole her breath away. It was the second time this happened to her. This total reaction of complete awe over a man. Her first was when she first met and became friends with Vegeta as a toddler. Edging into creepy zone . . . But, this was different. Whew! Piccolo made her heart pound madly and her pulse race. She blushed when she realized she was staring at him. She extended her hand to him.


"Pleased to meet you." She said, shyly.

"HN. HN. HURGHK!"

Piccolo took her hand and both froze as sudden vision flashed in their minds. A vision of what appeared to be throne room with two chairs at the end on a raised dias. Sitting in the chairs were crowns. One, solid gold with a single, large emerald in the front. The other was also solid gold, but was embedded with what appeared to be seven dragon balls with platinum stars. "HURGHK! AKKKH! GHHH!"

"Piccolo? Valis? Hey, are you two okay?" Dende's voice penetrated their minds and the vison quickly faded away.

Valis and Piccolo hastily released each others hands. "Uh, yes. We're fine DendeKami-sama." Valis stammered. "GHHH! UHHHH! GHYAAAH!" Piccolo used his Namekan abilities to split himself in two. A dewy-cheeked bishounen version of Piccolo gazed adoringly at his destined bride. The rest of him flew screaming into the night.

Valis goes off to train with Piccolo and we go "Somewhere in space" to hear from RoJin. To make a long expository detour short, Valis was his deep-cover agent until she had an attack of Conscience. XZanayu has a good premise at first. Bardock is described as a bloodthirsty Saiyan warrior, but a loving dad; Valis loved him and wanted to be like him. But when she learned that Freeza had betrayed her people, she realized that they had been deluded all along. She became Aeon's defender as penance, but failed. This is the outline of an interesting story--but RoJin can't have hunted her for more than twenty years because he's a sociopath and she offended his pride by defecting. No, Mary Sue must be more special than that. There must be a [reverb]PROPHECY![/reverb] The prophecy predicts the Ultra Super Solar Saiya-jin, AKA the Chosen One:

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This saiya-jin, but not a saiya-jin will be superior to all saiya-jin's living and dead with the ability to call upon the power of any solar system where it is. Thus, the Chosen One, this saiya-jin but not a saiya-jin will be the greatest power the universe has ever seen. Translation: Canon, prepare to be PWNED!

XZanayu explains that the Saiyans didn't know about the prophecy because they didn't bother with the "ancient-ruined temple" where the scroll was kept, which is plausible. RoJin took Valis on because he did know about it, which is also plausible because XZanayu made him the son of the monstrously arrogant Freeza. But she has to keep going:

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The Chosen One shall be female with hair the color of copper and eyes of sun-struck emeralds.

Guess which words appear in most of Valis's twenty-plus descriptions.

Having tracked Valis's ship, RoJin sends a henchmonster named Tonfa to kill her. But enough of that. Back to the real story!

Valis lives in the wilderness as she trains so that she can get virginally hot and bothered over Piccolo while reclining on a "curried deer hide" as her copper locks shine in the starlight. Mercifully, it doesn't get more explicit. Instead, in "a voice as sweet as a nightingale," Valis sings herself a lullaby that "she remembered ever since she was a baby." It's "Use Your Heart (Interlude)" by SWV. Do I even need to add that Piccolo, drawn by her singing, watches over her in wonder as she sleeps?

The next chapter starts with the author--I mean, the voice of [reverb]DESTINY[/reverb]--thundering at the canon hotties in their dreams. They MUST protect Valis. They MUST give her their love, strength, courage, cunning, wit, friendship. They MUST accept her guidance and change for her sake. She is the MESSIAH. SHE IS THEIR FUTURE. CAPSLOCK VERBATIM. Piccolo, Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, and Goten all come in for this treatment. DBV is unfinished, but it looks like they are also all XZanayu's targets for a romance with one OC or another.

Goten is the next bishie to meet Valis, who rescues him from quicksand while Trunks helplessly hovers. Yes, they're Super Saiyans, but "this quicksand mysteriously drains its victims' energy." Okay! Naturally, Goten is "mesmerized by the stranger's heavenly beauty." In her drive to collect 'em all, XZanayu has trouble remembering that some of the canon hotties are Valis's blood relatives, as we shall see. Oh, yes, we shall see. After Valis flies away, Trunks and Goten run home and burble about the "nice lady." Their fathers don't seem to notice that the two young men are talking like small children.

Meanwhile, Valis has managed to KO Piccolo and, heartbroken, soothes his fevered brow. As soon as he wakes up, he's soothing her in his stretchy green arms. To XZanayu's credit, he's still deeply confused by the libido he knows he never had. But then he has to ask her to tell him about herself so she can cry in his arms some more and recite one of her backstories. Your dad was who? From where? Time for another big revelation!

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"This is wonderful, Piccolo! You must take me to him. Please?! It's been so long since I've seen Kakarott. I beg of you, please?!" She pleaded as she stood before him.


Piccolo looked into those eyes sparkling green orbs of light and happiness and knew he couldn't say no. Even if he wanted to. Fight, Canon!Piccolo! Fight! Fight! "Alright. I'll take you to him. But, only after we finish sparring tomorrow." He added sternly.

She threw herself into his arms. "Oh, thank you! You've made me so happy! My adoptive father was right. Reward does come to those who cry. Emperor Kuzco--in spaaaace! Thank you." She said against Piccolo's neck. Her warm breath sent an involuntary shiver down her spine. Valis can clean her shoulder blades with her tongue.

Piccolo pulled her closer to him until she fitted perfectly against his flame. As if she had been made for him and him alone. (XZanayu elsewhere describes Valis and Piccolo as 5'6" and 6'11" respectively.) "You're welcome." He said softly. "Now get your head out of my armpit."

The next day, Valis takes a long, lovingly detailed solitary bath in a hot spring while Piccolo peeps. Meanwhile, Tonfa has landed and the Z Warriors have detected him. But back to the main plot!

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With eager hands, she held up a white, sleeveless, mock-turtleneck catsuit, which had the symbol of Piccolo''s camp--Lazlo--stitched in the front and back.. She tried it on and it fit perfectly. She also spied a pair of white, below-the-knee boots as well. After putting those on, she went to the edge of the water to see her new look. Twirling around and laughing with delight, she admired her new outfit.

Then they have their first kiss. "Her lips were soft and sweet, as were his." Gentle Reader fwowed up. They fly off to meet Goku, unaware that Tonfa is on their trail. Can you guess the point at which XZanayu finally manages to make me dislike her hapless OC?

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Everyone (that is, every buff, man-shaped Z Senshi; XZanayu lists them) looked up to see Piccolo and a stranger land before them. Yamcha's and the other's mouths dropped open and their eyes went wide when they saw Valis. Never had they seen anything so beautiful. She put their wives to shame. Bingo. Her beauty seemed to be directly from heaven above and her body was just as divinely beautiful. She was physically perfect in all aspects of the word. Yes, but was she beautiful?

Piccolo felt the surge of extreme irritation at his friends. Why were they looking at his lady like she was a meal just waiting to be devoured? Because she was a hot tamale stuffed with pepper jack cheese.

Tonfa is right on their heels, but he politely waits for Valis to hug her brother Goku as her old playmate "G-man" (that would be Vegeta) greets her with "a genuine smile." Then there are the obligatory introductions and even more exclamations over Valis's beauty. Then Tonfa crashes the party. XZanayu once again shows that her characterization is too good for her plots:

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"Don't worry. I won't interrupt your family reunion. I want you to get to know them first, It'll pain them that much more when I kill you." He saw flames of fury and hatred flashing in her eyes before adding, "Meet me on the open plains when you're done saying goodbyes. I hate letting you live too much longer."

We get a page and a half of rehashed exposition, prophecy and all, before they go to battle. (Valis meant to face him alone, higher power level or no, but the Z Senshi want to "make sure that Mr. Tonfa fights fair.") Piccolo's training is showing--

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*But, will it be enough?" Piccolo said to himself. He shook his head of doubts. What she needed most now was belief and support from her friends, and that he would give.

Before the soundtrack can break into "Moon Revenge," however, Tonfa starts fighting dirty and the Z Senshi pile it on. "Tonfa continued to sneer and laugh at their efforts, kicking them again and again into the dust." So Valis, as soon as she can get up, goes Super Saiyan 3, an ability she had all along, but never mind. Of course, the canon SSJ3 transformation isn't enough for Valis, who gets flowing, glowing blood-red hair and aquamarine eyes instead.

Everybody else powers up, but Tonfa is still winning. Seeing her long-lost loved ones in mortal peril sends Valis berserk in fine Saiyan style--but, again, XZanayu shoots herself in the foot. Valis gets another special transformation, this time to Ultra Super Saiyan.

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The catsuit that was a gift from Piccolo was replaced with the outfit her father, Bardock, had worn the day he died. Armor and all. [ . . . ] Valis' eyes and hair darkened to obsidian black. Then, the ribbon on her hair came off as the wind that picked up due the gathering energy lifted her hair straight up in waves. Finally a scar appeared on her left cheek. The same scar her father had adorn and in the exact same place.

Tonfa is terrified, which is odd because Ultra Super Saiyan is actually a couple of notches lower on the [pad episode]"AAAAAAAAAHHH!"[/pad episode] power scale than SSJ3. Anyway, Valis blows him to HFIL, then faints. She wakes up, back to normal, in Vegeta's arms. We get a page or so of "You're incredible, Valis!--But I can't be that special!--Oh, yes, you can!" before we learn that RoJin has decided to come to Chikyuu himself. Also, the prophecy must be repeated to make sure we get it.

That evening, there is much reminiscing at the Son house. Big brother Raditz's death at little brother Kakarott's hands is dismissed in less than a page. It's more important to the plot that Vegeta is "really sweet" (luckily for my stomach, he isn't there to hear Valis say it) and that Bardock was too when nobody was looking.

Later, Valis takes a break from her wilderness training to visit her family again. She finds Goten with "tears in his eyes" because he doesn't have any money for his parents' anniversary present. Not to worry, "pumpkin"!

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Valis raised her eyebrows and grinned. "I understand your problem and I think I can help. On special occasions for people in my life. I would put on a little show for them. And since we both have no money how 'bout we put on a show for them? Just you and me?"

The show, which is set for tomorrow, is going to be a pantomime of "Cinderella." Naturally, they're going to need a holographic band and a stage, courtesy of Rowan. They'll also need a George Michael costume for Goten, a belly-dancing outfit for his aunt, the lyrics to "The One" by Prince, and some silk to wrap them both in before they end their dance routine in bed onstage. I wish I were kidding.

Meanwhile, Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, and Chao-zu are talking about . . . well, what else?

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"Is she single?" Kuririn asked.

Everyone looked at him strangely. Canon!Juuhachigo was standing right behind him, eyes blazing with fury.

"What? Hey, I may be married, but you have to be blind not to notice that she's drop-dead gorgeous."

Yamcha smiled. "He's right. Kami definitely smiled upon her to give such irresistible beauty and a body to match. Makes me wish I wasn't married." Yamcha is married?

"Ditto." The others said in unison. They sighed. Chao-zu is married?

Goku, Chichi, and their guests are delighted by Valis's and Goten's wonderful present, which is described line by line and move by move. I, meanwhile, need brain bleach. RoJin's massive, evil power is detected before Valis can get to the buffet, but not to worry: he won't land until tomorrow afternoon and he'll just be at Kami's Lookout when he does. What's his excuse?

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"Because he always lands at the spot where someone he knows has landed. That's one of the things I knew for sure about him. But, let's not worry about him now. I want to enjoy myself." She told htem and walked off to join Rowan. Roushi expressions on the Z senshi faces. If that's the expression Roushi uses with Lunch--no wonder.

Everyone prepares for the upcoming battle. Valis and Piccolo master the Fusion Ha as a "last resort." The result, Viccolo, is mercifully undescribed and unused. The noncombatants (including Puar, Oolong, Bulma, Chichi, and the Ox King, but not 18, Videl, Pan, or Yamcha's and Chao-zu's invisible wives--or Bra, who doesn't seem to exist) will watch the battle from Master Roushi's using the "invisible mini camera that [Rowan] programmed." Roushi is behaving like "a perfect gentleman" to Rowan and love is in the air. I do not indulge in hallucinogens, I swear.

The battle with RoJin drags on like a police report. After it becomes clear that they are no match for him, Valis tries to kill him with a Final Strike and he flees to his ship, badly injured. There is nothing left of Valis but a crater and much mourning. I prepare to hit the back button with a sigh of relief. Then I notice that there are 42 pages left and scream.

After the traditional mass mourning for the Sue (why don't they ever celebrate?), somebody remembers--hey, we have Dragonballs! Meanwhile:

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"Huh? What is this place? Is this heaven?" Valis asked.


"No. Your in the realm of Arista." The beam of light pulsated to the rhythms of "Sk8er Boi" as it spoke.

"Arista? Is this where people from Earth go when they die?"

"Of course not and you're no where near dead, my child." The light answered. "They aren't touring this year."

"I'm not?" Valis' eyes narrowed. "Okay, who are you and why am I here? And-"

"All will be explained soon enough, Solar Princess Valis."

"Solar Princess? I didn't know Astron was on your label."

"Sleep, my dear. Sleep and all will be revealed to you when you awake."

While the Z Senshi hunt for Dragonballs, the main plot turns ever stranger. Arista is a region on Chikyuu inhabited by three pretty martial artists (Koko, Christina, and Jill) and the beam of light. Arista exists to teach "the art of Arista-ken" exclusively to the Valis Warrior. Since only one Valis Warrior is born in millennia and she picks up the basics in about a week, the Aristans must lead boring lives. They know all about Valis's [reverb]DESTINY[/reverb], so they give her a "purple gi exactly like Piccolo's" (plus a "slivery lame' tank suit bathing suit" for underwater training) and address her as "your majesty."

Meanwhile, RoJin contacts his boss, King Armand, via FutureCam:

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"Valis destroyed herself? Are you sure?" Armand asked.

"Yes. She did it to protect her friends. She preferred to sacrificed herself than to see them hurt." RoJin replied.

"Oh, really. If Valis is dead, then who's this?"

Valis' image appeared on the monitor, but there was a big difference in her appearance. This image of Valis wore a white, strapless, form-fitting, floor-length sheath dress that flared out at the bottom. Please, please, let the word "tuxedo" be mentioned nowhere in this series. Please. Her hair was in its traditional ponytail with white ribbon only her hair was down to her knees and adorning her head was a golden crown with seven dragonballs with platinum stars embedded in the crown like jewels. She stood in front of a magnificent ruby and moonstone castle, both illuminated by moonlight, her hair gently blowing in the breeze. So, either Valis has her own set of extra-sparkly Dragonballs without having to search for them when they scatter after granting a wish . . .

In her hands glowed a dragonball with eight stars. . . . or Armand ran amuck with a doll program. She raised her hands over her head and the dragonball emitted an intense golden light that came at the screen. Dragonballs--now with bonus blaster action! Because having her own personalized, use-anytime copy of the cheat codes for the universe just isn't special enough. King Armand image appeared once more.

"As you can see, Universal Queen Valis is still very much alive and she and her forces are still crushing our attempts to conquer Egetasei and the universe." He told RoJin.

"But..if Universal Queen Valis still lives..then that means.."

"That the Solar Princess is still alive." Armand finished his sentence. "Report back here to the future immediately. You need to be briefed on how to handle the situation." There's a DeLorean joke in here somewhere.

RoJin gets an upgrade that, among other things, lets him absorb people Buu-style. Meanwhile, having collected the Dragonballs and summoned Shenlon, the Z Senshi discover that they can't wish Valis back because she isn't dead. Goku, allowed more brains than usual in a Suefic, quickly wishes to know where she is. But before Shenlon can grant the wish, the Aristans swipe two Dragonballs, disrupting their magic. The beam of light is pleased.

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'Excellent. Although, its not right to let her family and friends know that Valis is here, but she must complete the training. If they knew she was studying the ultimate martial art form at a record company, they would have her committed. She is the last of the Valis warrior and she must be prepared for her future duties or the universe as we know it will cease to exist.'

RoJin's new ability certainly turns him into an interestingly creepy villain. Unfortunately, it doesn't make him smarter. He intends to flush Valis out of hiding by setting a trap for her loved ones, thus forcing her to come flying to the rescue. He decides to use his absorbing ability on somebody with knowledge of the Z Senshi in order to make his trap more effective. So who does he pick? Mr. Satan.

Meanwhile, Valis completes her training. She has already mastered hand-to-hand combat and teleportation. One lesson remains: [reverb]EXPOSITION![/reverb]

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Close your eyes, listen and remember every word spoken. Its important. I shall leave you now." Jill closed the door behind her.

"Legacy of the Valis Warriors." A soft, feminine voice said over the speakers placed somewhere within the room.

"For the past 500,000 years, a special child is born with extraordinary powers and the unique ability to learn fighting skills fast. These children were known as Valis Warriors, said to be the descendents of Heaven's angels. No one really knows where the warriors originated from, never being born of the same planet. But, whatever planet they were born on, they were the strongest fighters. Even equal to or surpassing the legendary super saiya-jin. What is for certain of Valis warriors is that they are of noble blood, are born every 5000 thousand years, stop aging physically at 25, can communicate with others telepathically, form mental and soul bonds to those closest to their hearts and souls. It is also known that Valis warriors have the ability to draw upon the power on a solar system. This includes the surrounding planets, stars, and other heavenly bodies with in that system. The extent of the Valis warriors' power is still unknown, but some say that it is limitless. All Valis warriors are born with copper color hair, sun-struck emerald green eyes, and a golden V on their foreheads to show that they are Valis warriors. Each of these characteristics are passed on to every Valis child born." The voice faded adding. "For it is the Legacy of the Valis Warriors."

Okay!

At Master Roushi's, the canon characters are discussing the recent obliteration of Satan City with remarkable calm. RoJin calls them out:

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"Do so and it will surely cost you your lives. Fail to show up and I will start wiping out this filthy planet's inhabitants one continent at a time. Either way, you lose. HA,HA,HA,HA,HA!!!" the hologram vanished.

Back to the main plot we go. The beam of light is providing further exposition: Valis is the last and most special Valis Warrior ever, ten times stronger than the others. She'll get her golden V when she has proven herself. Also, the beam knew her parents and they were both wonderful, wonderful people.

Anyway, RoJin kicks the Z Senshi's butts for a few pages; meanwhile, Valis rehashes the plot again as she meditates in the Arista Realm. Also, we get another page or two about how wonderful her dad was. She snaps out of it when she senses Goku pleading for her aid. Off she goes to challenge RoJin to single combat.

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"Sis, are you sure you can do this on your own?" Goku asked her.
She smiled at her baby brother and hugged him. "But, I'm not doing this alone. My family is here. All of you are my family now and that gives me more determination and strength than ever before."

Armed with her newfound confidence and cheering section, she wields the Silver Millennium Crystal against Fiore--whoops, wrong story. She slowly beats RoJin down. Then he powers up yet again. But:

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Valis, on the other hand, smirked. "Since you finally decided to get serious, so will I."

Valis started charging her Ki. Everyone eyes went to her immediately. Her power level was reaching unbelievable levels. Dark clouds gathered, thunder and lightening flashed violently in the sky, the winds picked up with the force of a hurricane and the entire ground shook violently under their feet. This continued a few minutes more when suddenly everything stopped. The sky cleared revealing the sun and blue sky, the wind stopped blowing as well as the ground ceased its shaking.
What really set everyone on edge was the silence. Nothing moved or made a sound. No wind and no animals. As if whatever was about to happen was going to happen soon.

Valis smiled and *FLASH* she was in ultra super saiya-jin mode which means, remember, that she now looks like Bardock, armor and all. Her aura flared around her when out of no where a rainbow appeared out of then air and wrapped around her and encased her from head to toe like a mummy then shattered, revealing Valis. She was now dressed in a black bandeau top with matching black tennis skirt, black, vinyl, knee-high boots adorned her feet. Her hair was now in two braided ponytails with a white bow on each one and the rainbow colored ribbons entwined in the braids and on her ears were rainbow-shaped studs. She was now the Ultra Super Solar Saiya-jin. Yes, this outfit is as hilariously awful as it sounds. Mimi dolled it for me on her old site (now gone, unfortunately). And this isn't the worst by far.

Dah, DAH-dah-DAHH-dah (doo-doo), dah-DAH-dah-DAHH-dah! RoJin is moondusted!

And so we come to the end of Season One of DragonBall V. Believe me, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Stick a fork in me; I'm done.

"Vegeta, what does the Scouter say about its suckitude level?"
"It's Really high."
"Nothing more informative than that?"
"Look, last time this happened, I ended up becoming a lolsayan. So, you want to know? You read it for yourself."
"oh, you're no fun anymore."


Damn. That is one specul sue.