STEPHENIE MEYER: the woman, the artist, the journey, THE COMIC. Inky, Zeiss, and Smacula take a trip through Smeyer's life!

The roster of the company publishing this thing (as seen on their website) is like the comics equivalent of a pile of dollar-store generic-brand plastic toys or one of those B-movies that's trying painfully hard to be like some better-known product (e.g. Titanic: The Legend Goes On). Comics based on movies known for being terrible, comics based on obscure properties, comics with insanely generic names like Judo Girl... And that's without mentioning the artwork. I hope the people writing/drawing this fifth-rate dreck are getting paid well enough to support some more worthwhile endeavour.

To take an example, check out this blurb:

Quote :

A new story from the cult film WARLOCK from Lionsgate. The Warlock is on a mission to destroy a book that contains a spell which imprisoned six other Warlocks. If the book manages to be destroyed, the dangerous Warlocks would be released back into the world free to cause chaos and destruction. It's up to a rag-tag group of people to prevent the Warlock from carrying out his plan.

Gods, just reading that makes me bored and depressed, it's so bland and uninspired (not to mention badly written).

I give you points for even understanding it. Everything on the site reads like this to me:

Quote :

A new marklar from the cult marklar MARKLAR from marklar. The Marklar is on a marklar to destroy a marklar that contains a marklar which imprisoned six other Marklar. If the marklar manages to be destroyed, the dangerous Marklars would be released back into the marklar free to cause marklar and marklar. It's up to a rag-tag marklar of marklars to prevent the Marklar from carrying out his marklar.

Quote :

A new story from the cult film WARLOCK from Lionsgate. The Warlock is on a mission to destroy a book that contains a spell which imprisoned six other Warlocks. If the book manages to be destroyed, the dangerous Warlocks would be released back into the world free to cause chaos and destruction. It's up to a rag-tag group of people to prevent the Warlock from carrying out his plan.

Wait, what? Dude, that was the movie that there was a HUGE fuss over because it "inspired" a fourteen-year-old to mutilate and kill a little kid. It was one of those early "VIOLENT MEDIA DRIVES CHILDREN TO DEPRAVITY" stories. That's pretty much the reason it's a cult film. Aaaand...now they're making a shitty comic book about it. That's...just kind of fucked up in a really roundabout sort of way.

ETA: Most I can find on it. It was a huge to-do in the day.

That's not the only 'cult' so-bad-it's-good/so-bad-it's-horrible/maligned movie they've done tie-in comics for. There's also Leprechaun, for example. My guess is that the copyrights to these properties are either dirt cheap or bulk-owned by some associate of the publishers (LionsGate Films are mentioned in several places, if I remember correctly), so it's easy to do tie-ins. Presumably they figure a comic associated with any movie/TV show/other franchise will sell better than one that isn't. Looking at their few seemingly original titles, that's probably correct. The Stephanie Meyer comic will probably outsell everything else they produce combined 5-to-1.

Ok, I finally finished reading this snark, and I have to say, the funniest line was on the back cover (no offense to you two):

"...beautifully drawn..." lolwut? That was some of the worst art in a professionally published comic I've ever seen.

Maximilia wrote:

Ok, I finally finished reading this snark, and I have to say, the funniest line was on the back cover (no offense to you two):

"...beautifully drawn..." lolwut? That was some of the worst art in a professionally published comic I've ever seen.

They probably studied under Rob Liefeld.

She was a National Merit Scholar? Shit, I guess if they're that easy to get, I should stop telling colleges I got one...

Oh man that was epic. And now Edward actually looks like he's made of wood instead of just acting like it.

some QUALITY art here.