Sex, Lichens, & Videotape: Zeiss, Inky, and Del take a trip to "Femboy School!" (NWS)

One Synopsis wrote:: One of the most interesting manga hentai stories. It consists of several chapters. With each story the young main hero should be more and more violence, fetish, bondage, rape ... and women, for adult pleasure. And his sexy, busty loving mammy help him in this work. femdom, femboy, straight shota, futa on male, pervert, incest, mother, son, mom, big tits, boob, three women - one shemale and only ONE little boy.

Delcat wrote:: oh fuck that is fucking fucked man what is this shit

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Yeah, it's like that.

First, a bit of explanation. “Femboy School”, as our next project is called, isn’t your average bad porno manga. Well, it started off as one, but the version we’re taking on is an edited (very badly - this thing looks like it‘s been floating around the internets since 2001) version by someone named “Nyar”. All my Google-fu has been able to turn up about this “Nyar” character is one post on an incest forum, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about Nyar. The man has issues, and boyyyy is he happy to show you them. This thing plays out like a cross between a bad femdom story and an equally bad Hawkwind album.

So join us, then, as the Fearless Spork Squad ventures to one man’s private hell, and comes out snarking.

Again, all links are NSFW LIEK WHOA ON SANDWICHES

ADDENDUM 11/13: Imageshack's taken its ire on this one too, so here are the first three chapters for you to follow along with, which is all that we've snarked so far. I'd post the whole thing, but let's just say that I really don't want to spoil everything so soon.

ADDENDUM 12/19: Snark is reformatted, all links are back up.

Zeiss Manifold: WE'VE GOT SPORKING TO DO
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S GET SOME MUSIC
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Inkweaver: DOODLEY DOOO
Zeiss Manifold: are you PUMPED
Inkweaver: I AM SO PUMPED
Inkweaver: I AM PUMPED FULL OF CHOCOLATE FILLING
Delcat (12:04:04 AM): I'M JUST GLAD WE'RE HERE TO ROCK THE HOUSE
Inkweaver: sfksldj;afdsklfjdsklfjdkj
Inkweaver: EXCITEMENT IS ME
Zeiss Manifold: THE FEARLESS SPORK SQUAD RETURNS
Zeiss Manifold: MY SPORK IS FIGHT
Delcat: YEEHAAAAAW
Inkweaver: SPOR
Inkweaver: K
Inkweaver: FOR JSUTICE
Zeiss Manifold: SPOR
Inkweaver: JUSTICE
Zeiss Manifold: K
Zeiss Manifold: SPOR
Zeiss Manifold: K
Inkweaver: I AM NOT DRUNK I SWEAR
Delcat: I needa grab my birth control, queue up the first page and we will DO THIS THING
Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT
Inkweaver: ....birth control?
Zeiss Manifold: it's a necessary precaution
Delcat: For my crazy-ass ovaries. And, as Zeiss said, A PRECAUTION.
Zeiss Manifold: IT INVOLVES LICHENS
Delcat: OH GOD I FORGOT THE LICHENS
Zeiss Manifold: HOW COULD YOU
Inkweaver: um.
Inkweaver: femboys.
Inkweaver: and lichens.
Zeiss Manifold: yes
Delcat: I BLOCKED SO MUCH BAD OUT I FORGOT THE GOOD
Inkweaver: I don't think you mean lichens like
Inkweaver: WEREWOLVESSSS
Inkweaver: I think you mean fungus.
Inkweaver: ...why.
Zeiss Manifold: i know what to which i refer
Zeiss Manifold: actually, the lichens are pretty cool
Delcat: You just gotta let the crazy come, man. Let it come.
Zeiss Manifold: it's EVERYTHING ELSE that's WHOA
Inkweaver: All right, I'm in my meditation stance right now
Zeiss Manifold: but you will see when the time is ready
Inkweaver: I am opening my chi
Inkweaver: guys
Inkweaver: the femboys are hurting my chi
Zeiss Manifold: open the fuck out the chi
Zeiss Manifold: pfft you haven't even seen them yet
Delcat: I'm afraid someone will stick something in it :<
Zeiss Manifold: del now you're just confusing her
Inkweaver: ....
Delcat: That's okay, I'm confused too :D
Inkweaver: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND I AM OKAY WITH THIS
Zeiss Manifold: WE'RE ALL CONFUSED
Delcat: ...I should probably mention I had a Red Bull a little while ago and I'm still all LDF;GJFL;DGJA'
Delcat: LET'S DO THIS THING ZEISS
Inkweaver: YAY
Zeiss Manifold: YES
Inkweaver: BRING IT
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S SPORK US SOME FEMBOYS
Inkweaver: LET'S DO IIIIIIT

Quote :: Page 1

Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT
Zeiss Manifold: Why are there pimento olives in the background?
Zeiss Manifold: also, EDITING
Delcat: They look more like goat eyes to me.
Delcat: Giant wandering goat eyes.
Inkweaver: is that what those are?
Zeiss Manifold: "Done for fun" - And self-therapy, apparently
Inkweaver: I thought they were indisctinct bubbles
Delcat: Yeah, it's kind of uncanny...and creepy.
Inkweaver: plus I was too busy being sucked into the vortex of her tits - I MEAN
Zeiss Manifold: i don't know
Zeiss Manifold: i'm too busy trying not to notice SHE'S LEAKING
Inkweaver: she's staring so... soulessly at me. Like, "Yes, my child, suckle these breasts and we will become one."
Zeiss Manifold: that's pretty much the plot actually
Inkweaver: O_O\
Delcat: Giant...wandering...goat eyes…

Quote :: Page 2

Delcat: So on the topic of spurting penises, did we decide whether or not we were gonna Heino the shit out of this one?
Zeiss Manifold: i'll check with nihilist
Zeiss Manifold: that's not spurting btw, it's melting
Zeiss Manifold: also, BLUE TEXT ON HOT PINK BACKGROUNDS ARE THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE
Zeiss Manifold: You'd think this "Nyar" guy would find a better-looking manga to rewrite
Delcat: I like that the straightforwardness. "Yup, this sure is about creepy femboy sex."
Zeiss Manifold: I'm already dreading "First Period"
Zeiss Manifold: they can't be THAT fem
Inkweaver: Wow
Inkweaver: so
Inkweaver: dudes who look like chicks stroking each other's penises, sweatily, with lots of body fluid.
Inkweaver: WE ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK
Zeiss Manifold: I might as well get all my caps ready
Delcat: One IS a chick. BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHICH ONE.
Inkweaver: the one with tits?
Zeiss Manifold: HOW DID YOU KNOW
Inkweaver: Really
Inkweaver: it was a lucky guess
Inkweaver: because it could've gone either way

Quote :: Page 3

Delcat: Our story, as told by some random dude's legs.
Zeiss Manifold: INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS
Delcat: Wow, the first real page and I can already hear a low growl from Wulfie. OH OUR GENDER JUST LOVES SOAP OPERAS NO MATTER WHAT.
Zeiss Manifold: WULFIE IF YOU ARE READING THIS IN THE FUTURE STOP RIGHT HERE
Inkweaver: Oooh, I'm adding that blue thing to my Totally Useless Garments Collection
Zeiss Manifold: YOUR HEAD WILL ASPLODE
Delcat: It looks kind of like she yanked her panties all the way up to her tits.
Zeiss Manifold: It doesn't look so much like she has breasts, rather that she bought some of those squeezable tit mousepads and glued them to her chest.

Quote :: Page 4

Delcat: Z-Zeiss...it's staring at me with its horrible wobbly soulless eyes...
Zeiss Manifold: Apparently it's really cold where that guy is
Inkweaver: oh god
Inkweaver: Z-Zeiss... it's staring at me with its horrible wobbly soulless nipples....
Zeiss Manifold: Nipples wobble, but they don't fall down.
Delcat: Ever. They're permanently erect. 'Cause if your nipples aren't permanently erect, you haven't discovered ~true love~ yet.
Zeiss Manifold: so this is what yaoi has taught you
Inkweaver: God that would be uncomfortable.
Inkweaver: You'd just want to put on a shirt and then the scrape of cotton would go straight to your genitals.
Delcat: Yup. When i meet the right guy, they'll just pop up like little semaphore flags...right?
Zeiss Manifold: ...You'll know when you're older.

Quote :: Page 5

Zeiss Manifold: i think this reads left to right btw
Delcat: Yeah, I just noticed that. Which means he went to all the trouble of flipping the pages for no fucking reason.
Zeiss Manifold: ...apparently they ARE permanently erect
Zeiss Manifold: it sound like they're talking about the teapot in panel 3
Inkweaver: He woke up, realizing how much was different
Inkweaver: he would learn...slowly...
Inkweaver: about permanently erect nipples.
Delcat: "Nipple erections lasting more than forever are a serious medical condition, and you should alert your doctor quickly."
Zeiss Manifold:...I already did the "Metamorphosis" joke in the Nippon Heroine thread, didn't I?
Zeiss Manifold: damn
Delcat: "How could ANYONE not want a little one like him?" Well, SOME of us aren't pedophiles?
Inkweaver: Well, some of us find it uncomfortable to dress little johnny for school and have his big red nipples brushing against us fervently.
Zeiss Manifold: NIPPLES OF THE FUTURE

Quote :: Page 6

Zeiss Manifold "Nice Penmanship?"
Delcat: ...says the teakettle.
Zeiss Manifold: oh shit it's the brave little toaster
Delcat: No, it's the complimentary appliances from HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It IS the future, after all.
Inkweaver: Wait one cotton pickin' min -- GASP!
Zeiss Manifold: Somewhere in South Carolina, and gravity don't mean a thing...
Inkweaver: I'll gasp for cotton pickin' dramatic effect!
Zeiss Manifold: So Inky
Zeiss Manifold: do people actually talk like this
Inkweaver: Zeiss?
Inkweaver: ...yes.
Inkweaver: We go around spitting tobacco
Inkweaver: and playing banjos
Inkweaver: all the time
Delcat: I really want to know where the hell this kid is supposed to be from. Hicks in Generalville?
Inkweaver: plus we have sex with our siblings
Delcat: I really wish you would have stopped doing at least one of those three things while I visited, Inky.
Delcat: Although I applaud your multitasking skills.
Zeiss Manifold: If a manga ever asked for a banjo score, this is it
Delcat: I'm sticking with "Bad" by the Tiger Lilies. It's about pedophiles :D
Inkweaver: I'm sorry Delly
Zeiss Manifold: all your songs are about pedophiles
Delcat...actually, listening to it, it kind of scarily matches up to the plot D:
Inkweaver: you can take the hick out of Georgia but you can't take Georgia out of the hick

Quote :: Page 7

Inkweaver: oh dear god
Inkweaver: her boobs
Inkweaver: are enormous
Inkweaver: she's gonna have sex with him isn't she
Delcat: A bunch of happy bird-girls are having a picnic with onigiri and listening to music!
Inkweaver: that'd be soooo creepy
Delcat: ...wait, that's another window I have open, let me try OH DEAR GOD

Quote :: Page 8

Zeiss Manifold: GIGGLE
Zeiss Manifold: OH MY GOD SHE'S DRUGGED
Zeiss Manifold: EVERYONE IS DRUGGED
Inkweaver: yeah wtf
Zeiss Manifold: WITH NIPPLE ENHANCER
Delcat: The art is SO BAD. Why did he choose this manga, out of all manga, to spend a ZILLION HOURS rewriting? ...oh yeah, the pedobear sex.
Inkweaver: Yeah seriously the art is TERRIBLE
Inkweaver: plus the font doesn't match at all, the dialogue is retarded, and the punctuation makes me bleed
Zeiss Manifold: wait till you get to the orgasm faces
Inkweaver: oh god
Delcat: "I like ta read!" Yeah, clearly. Up to the eight-pagers yet? Those are killers!
Zeiss Manifold: "Ooh, such a priceless look of wonder!"
Inkweaver: I'm sure I'll have to change my clothes from the blood seeping from my pores
Zeiss Manifold: DURRRR
Inkweaver: I LYK 2 REED
Inkweaver: HUKED ON FONX
Zeiss Manifold: Hot lovin' on the commune.
Delcat: How can he pronounce "Rimsky Korsakov" and not "to"?
Zeiss Manifold: cause he's a hick duh
Delcat: Of course.

Quote :: Page 9

Inkweaver: "deep need deficit"
Inkweaver: what/
Inkweaver: Sherehazade is so EROTIC. Know what else is erotic? Limes all over my skin, and you licking them off.
Inkweaver: "What?"
Inkweaver: "Oops, that just slipped out, glad he didn't notice."
Inkweaver: "No, really, I can hear everything you're saying, sicne the thought bubbles are the same as the speech bubbles."
Zeiss Manifold: He's probably just going to use that tape to record Power Rangers
Inkweaver: "Fucking artist."
Zeiss Manifold: ...they got the "erect nipples" part right, at least
Inkweaver: bulge in his crotch?
Zeiss Manifold: BEES
Inkweaver: His balls probably haven't even dropped, lady.
Inkweaver: no Zeiss that's the wickerman
Inkweaver: calm yourself
Zeiss Manifold: i can hope
Delcat: oh yeah I'll ring your chimes baby

Quote :: Page 10

Inkweaver: I'LL SATISFY YOUR NEEDS
Inkweaver: ...wait.
Delcat: ...if you cut out the last panel, all I see here is a gigantic zit being popped and a woman groaning in pain from it.
Zeiss Manifold: So there are alien doomspawn nesting in her tits.
Zeiss Manifold: Or something.
Zeiss Manifold: 'CAUSE THIS IS CHILLER
Zeiss Manifold: CHILLER FONT
Delcat: I know that's unneccessarily grody, but fuck, man. FUCK.
Inkweaver: "soon my little one... SOON! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHAH MWAHAHAHA"
Delcat: Seriously, she looks ILL.
Zeiss Manifold: Clearly this choice of font bodes well
Inkweaver: I love how he wrote in "moan" after he had already written "aahhhhh"
Inkweaver: she's gonna eat his dick if the chiller font is anything to go by
Inkweaver: NO JOHNNY
Delcat: That's gonna be a recurring theme, let me tell you.
Inkweaver: DON"T GO INTO THE BASEMENT
Inkweaver: YOUR DAD IS ACTUALLY A PLANT
Delcat: Written-out sound effects, I mean, not dick-eating.
Zeiss Manifold: WANT SOME, JOSHUA?
Delcat: ...okay also dick-eating.
Zeiss Manifold: can we stand one more page?
Inkweaver: I meant in a not-sexy way. to most people.
Delcat: Platonic boy/girl relationship: Johnny and Johnny's manhood which disappears halfway thru this book.

Quote :: Page 11

Zeiss Manifold: Looks like Shinji took a trip to Love Canal.
Zeiss Manifold: In search of "Jucy ice cream bars", presumably.
Delcat: I dream about having my soul eaten by creatures that resemble elephant bones stretched across bicycles that can turn into the people you love to trick you. Does that mean it actually happened?
Zeiss Manifold: Del I told you that tequila and BBQ sauce don't mix
Delcat: But it's so tasty!
Delcat: So you're noticing whether or not the guys or hot, but THEY'RE the "fags"?
Zeiss Manifold: Yeah, but it's not jucy.
Zeiss Manifold: Why am I concentrating on just one typo jesus fuck
InkWeaver: Yeah, THEY are the fags, but you know, you with your giant girly eyelashes, are not.
InkWeaver: Your giant girly eyelashes and the booty shorts you wore in the last bit.
InkWeaver: And your tank top.
InkWeaver: and your permanently erect nipples.
InkWeaver: Yep, they're the fags.
Zeiss Manifold: "Miz Pele"...apparently she can kick the ball over her head and schlick at the same time.
Delcat: And their faces that I swear were drawn using the same exact "Learn to Draw Manga" book I had when I was fourteen
Delcat: Which was, and I am being dead serious here, written by a fifteen-year-old American
Delcat: It was on the back of the book, I swear
Zeiss Manifold: I just remember the Christopher Hart ones.
Delcat: Did he ever draw dickgirls?
Zeiss Manifold: (I *think* he wrote them)
Zeiss Manifold: I'd rather not know.

Quote :: Page 12

Delcat: The "content v. tone" thing is killing me. "Yeah, we gotsta find out about that durned ultrasonic junk and stuff!"
InkWeaver: *waiting to load*
Zeiss Manifold: It's like Lenny wrote this after his desires shifted away from rabbits.
InkWeaver: oh god... i'm gonna throw up, aren't i
Delcat: At some point, yes. This one's safe, though.
InkWeaver: The librarian's name is Frodite.
InkWeaver: There's surely no reason for that.
Zeiss Manifold: The most padded sweater of all time.
Zeiss Manifold: "Music CDs"
Zeiss Manifold: This is a Jack Chick-level awareness of vernacular here.
InkWeaver: I can just imagine her tits are always waving as if in some strange, phantom breeze
Delcat: I wish it could just stop here, with kids having fun in a paradise of yay.
Zeiss Manifold: They're the banana tits' cousins, the lemon tits.
Zeiss Manifold: And I don't even WANT to know what "'luminum food" is
InkWeaver: food made of foil!
InkWeaver: That's tasty and futuristic!
Delcat: I want to see something exotic, like prickly pear tits or kiwi tits.
Delcat: Unless you have braces, in which case it's just burning pain.
Zeiss Manifold: I've heard "I'd rather chew on a jumbo roll of tinfoil" before, but I think it's supposed to be a metaphor
InkWeaver: well they do and they LIKE It
Delcat: And when you try to put ketchup on it, it just burns through :<

Quote :: Page 13

InkWeaver: YOU WILL EAT YOUR TINFOIL AND YOU WILL LIKE IT
Delcat: Zeiss, I forgot how insane this was.
Delcat: How did I do that?
Zeiss Manifold: We'll pick our fill of femweed, and drink it 'til we bleed, that's all we'll need...
Zeiss Manifold: I just imagine this guy going, "You know, this porn is great, but you know what it needs? WORDS. WORDS EVERYWHERE."
Delcat: It looks like she got those teas for her tits. She's going to sit there calmly while they sluck them up through their nipples.
InkWeaver: Fem...weed?
InkWeaver: Guys... what am I missing here.
Delcat: All will be revealed, don't worry.
Delcat: And I do mean ALL nudge nudge wink wink oh God oh God
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: SELAAAAAAAAAH
InkWeaver: ADRIANNNNNNNNN
Delcat: A good sherry is sounding better and better, I must say. I think I have a margarita cooler put by downstairs.
InkWeaver: my tummy hurts
Zeiss Manifold: Yeah, Del, if you could be cool and be our liquor link for this whole thing....
Delcat: I don't think this author has ever heard a Russian composer in his life. He just sat in his basement piecing together what girls do from one of those "proper lady" primers from Victorian England.
Delcat: I'll see what I can do, friends. Hope you like it strong.
Zeiss Manifold: How the hell did he get a hold of one of those
Zeiss Manifold: Just snag some Bushmills and I'm good.
Delcat: I picture him as rooting through dumpsters on a regular basis, in between sweating, eating Pocky, and 14-hour WoW marathons.

Quote :: Page 14

InkWeaver: why do I see him wearing a sweatstained ninja outfit
Zeiss Manifold: This is turning into a fucking Mars Volta song
Delcat: The abject terror fills his eyes...erotically.
InkWeaver: Mars Volta? Let me know when it starts talking about half-eaten cornias or some shit
Zeiss Manifold: "I'm an armored tank! My fem is fight!"
InkWeaver: why the FUCK does he have a shitty southern accent anyway?
Zeiss Manifold: Why does everyone smell so good in a story so bad?

Sadly, Inky had to take her leave for the night due to the aftereffects of a massive Spree binge. Del and I decided to go for it and finish the chapter.

Quote :: Page 15

Zeiss Manifold: del, if you would
Delcat: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW
Zeiss Manifold: Thank you.
Delcat: I almost gave the random stranger I was trading music with that link instead of the link to a Violent Femmes single, by the way. That would've gone over real well.
Zeiss Manifold: "No Child Left Behind"...I guess now we have a timeframe for when he actually wrote this.
Zeiss Manifold: Why can't I get just one fem?
Delcat: It might be something down to luck, but I would give the world for a (creepy Pedobear femboy) fuck
Zeiss Manifold: "I'll tell you this now Johnny Doe, I mean every word. My vagina is crawling with bees."
Delcat: And as long as we're making cheap song refs, the last panel: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
Zeiss Manifold: Do you know any song about Cyclopses?
Delcat: I TOLD YOU TO CYCLOPS ROCK, BUT THEN YOU TURNED AROUND AND BROKE MY HEART
Zeiss Manifold: Thank you again.
Delcat: AND THEN YOU GO AND WASTE MY CYCLOPS TIME, MESS UP MY CYCLOPS MIND
Zeiss Manifold: Fuck, kid's paranoid for his age.
Zeiss Manifold: Must be all those edible hats.
Zeiss Manifold: And by 'edible' I mean 'luminum.
Delcat: Actually, it honestly creeps me out how he really nailed the plot on the head. Looking back on it having read the rest, it's like he actually figured out what's really going on, and the entire manga is rationalization by these evil pedo bitches.
Delcat: BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF
Delcat: OR PERHAPS
Delcat: A HEAD OF MYSELF
Delcat: OHO
Delcat: ...wait I meant to make a head joke and it just kind of went askew there
Delcat: pretend I made sense

Quote :: Page 16

Delcat: ...speaking of evil pedo bitches, this...seriously, there's nothing funny here. This is what pedophiles say to manipulate children. Period.
Zeiss Manifold: Well, I guess they put an end to his paranoid streak.
Zeiss Manifold: Let's just move on.
Delcat: well okay maybe the ridiculous useless bra is KIND of funny
Delcat: I MEAN

Quote :: Page 17

Zeiss Manifold: IS THAT A BLANK SPEECH BUBBLE I SEE
Delcat: Aaaand we break enough from reality again to mirthlessly mock it. HAMANA HAMANA HAMANA.
Zeiss Manifold: AWOOOOOOOOOOOOGA
Delcat: Either that or one of those squishy blocks from Yoshi's Island you could either stomp on or shove to change the shape of in its natural state.
Zeiss Manifold: Jesus God it suddenly turned into a bad Eros translation from the ‘nineties.
Delcat: I would say that it's begging to be meme'd but I kind of want to NOT be arrested.
Zeiss Manifold: "But right now your mother's got a problem."
Zeiss Manifold: THAT'S NOT MILK, IT'S LYMPH
Delcat: I have a buddy who had an itchy nipple problem. It turned out to be a fungal infection.
Delcat: She is just a festering Typhoid Mary of cancer and fungus and STDs
Zeiss Manifold: And lichens.
Delcat: The lichens have nothing to do with this. The lichens are pure. They are the yang in this yin...or whichever it is.
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: I was a huge Garfield fan as a kid. I remember "SPLUT" was the default noise for a pie hitting him or him falling into his food or whatever. They even had Splut Week once, with the punchline each day being about mysterious pies SPLUTting him. And now...it's the sound lactation makes. Thank you so much, Internet. thank you SO. FUCKING. MUCH.
Zeiss Manifold: I'm starting to think that anime porn just doesn't like you.
Delcat: I would not be surprised. Just some dude sitting in his basement in Japan with a list of my cherished childhood memories and a pencil and his dick in his hand.
Zeiss Manifold: You must have liked killed his familiar or something.
Delcat: I need to make a "Break glass in case of Calvin and Hobbes" box with a pair of melon-ballers inside
Delcat: FOR MY EYES

Quote :: Page 18

Zeiss Manifold: Oh great, a nipple-smeller.
Zeiss Manifold: Is she quoting "Destination: Saturn" in her throes of passion?
Delcat: At least the narration suggests that it smells like a Yankee candle and not troll smegma.
Delcat: Don't you?
Zeiss Manifold: HRRRRRMPH LIMP ROSTOV
Zeiss Manifold: Better than "Recieve my AIDS!", at any rate
Delcat: You know, I've never met anyone whose nipples were magical love switches. Ever.
Zeiss Manifold: People just assume they are because they're red and pointy
Delcat: Of course, I've also never met anyone whose nipples looked like that. Ever.
Delcat: So, Zeiss. Sharing time. Does YOUR font change when you orgasm?
Zeiss Manifold: I've been known to lapse into Wingdings from time to time
Delcat: I lapse into MS Comic Sans. It's sooooo embarrassing D:

Quote :: Page 19

Zeiss Manifold: DUHHHHHHHH I LIKES VANILLA MILK
Zeiss Manifold: I must confess, I had no idea women's breasts could fold back on themselves like an imitiation of some primordial inchworm.
Zeiss Manifold: SLOBBER!
Delcat: it's not a party trick we like to trot out too often, i can tell you that.
Delcat: Are they jiggling around for absolutely no reason, or is that a flock of wild action lines migrating south for the winter?
Delcat: I swear...those wobbly eyes, that phone-it-in mouth and nose, that overly pointy chin...I SWEAR this was drawn out of that danged manga book.
Delcat: Which makes me question that fifteen-year-old American girl's sources.

Quote :: Page 20

Delcat: OWWWWWWWWW
Delcat: OWWWWWWWWWWWW
Delcat: OH GOD OWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Delcat: *hugging breasts*
Zeiss Manifold: NIPPLES DO NOT *CRUNCH*
Zeiss Manifold: I DON'T EVEN HAVE NIPPLES AND I KNOW THAT
Zeiss Manifold: WAIT
Zeiss Manifold: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Delcat: I'm hearing it as that awful sound you get when you bite your cheek that you feel as much as hear
Zeiss Manifold: okay what the hell is going on in the last panel
Delcat: (squeezes her own tit experimentally)
Delcat: ...no, definitely does not even get close to doing...whatever the hell that is.
Zeiss Manifold: it's like one of those rubber balls filled with corn starch that you get at the dollar store.
Zeiss Manifold: ...i think that panel's what i'm gonna put in the op to show off what's in store
Delcat: I had one of those as a kid. I played with it so long it finally exploded all at once. ...is THAT gonna happen?
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S FIND OUT
Delcat: Just POOF and then you have to vacuum a lot?

Quote :: Page 21

Zeiss Manifold: OH GOD WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME WOMAN
Delcat: "No, seriously, I am in an incredible amount of pain. I think I had a spontaneous arterial rupture."
Zeiss Manifold: "Something was pouring from his crotch. He examined his pants. Blood!? Blood. Crimson copper-smelling blood, his blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. And bits of sperm.”
Delcat: I would make a comment on how he has a hell of a hair trigger to pop one off like that with little to no provocation, but I understand your strange, foreign pantscreatures work like that.
Zeiss Manifold: Are you calling me a femboy?
Zeiss Manifold: That's calls for fisticuffsmanship young lady
Delcat: I DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS, MAN
Delcat: I HAVE NEVER VENTURED INTO THE LAND OF COCK
Zeiss Manifold: ...Says the board's resident yaoi expert.
Delcat: Well, I have a fair understanding of ADULT cocks. But it gets vaguer and vaguer the further back you go in age. I know little about pubescent cocks and WANT to know little about pubescent cocks, but I have heard rumors of random spurting.
Zeiss Manifold: Those rumors have been greatly exaggerated in my experience.
Zeiss Manifold: I mean, if it was those breasts? I'd probably run.
Delcat: So we CAN share a hearty laugh at the manga's expense?
Zeiss Manifold: I guess.
Delcat: All right then! Ha ha ha ha!
Delcat: man we went the long way around on that one
Zeiss Manifold: we did
Delcat: Also, what does it feel like to have any body part "pope"?
Delcat: Should I know this, as a Catholic?
Zeiss Manifold: Well, if it's white smoke, you're good.

Quote :: Page 22

Delcat: I like how CUMM? is thrown off to the side there like the title to an Omake strip.
Zeiss Manifold: Tonight on CUMM?, Cumm gets caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
Delcat: The lost Azumanga Daioh strip, if you will...UNLESS QUAMP HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT
Zeiss Manifold: C'MON QUAMP
Zeiss Manifold: well i guess SOMEONE has a hypnosis fetish
Delcat: Or just more Pedobear material. I mean, she effectively just roofied the kid with her left tit.
Zeiss Manifold: That takes considerable skill.
Delcat: I find it easier to stun prospective mates by swinging them really hard at their heads.
Zeiss Manifold: ACTION TITS
Delcat: Mankiller Mary, that's my tit's name in four states
Zeiss Manifold: That's gotta be like the worst Johnny Cash song ever
Delcat: It's known as Steve in a further three, but that was a hell of a drunken weekend and I don't like to talk about it

Quote :: Page 23

Delcat: Did someone just stuff an entire bran muffin in that kid's mouth in the second panel?
Zeiss Manifold: Must be the roofies.
Delcat: Hey that is a nice TV man
Delcat: I think that's a flatscreen
Zeiss Manifold: I like how he didn't even try to hide the fact that this is flipped
Delcat: I wish that lady would move so we could see
Zeiss Manifold: Meh, nothing's on anyway
Zeiss Manifold: Just the femweed-growing show
Delcat: Don't be silly, Zeiss! In fact, "DNE" is an ancient Japanese word meaning "oh fuck that is fucking fucked man what is this shit"
Zeiss Manifold: SHE'S STILL LEAKING
Delcat: SHE ruptured something. It's like they all have that organ failure plague from Repo!.
Zeiss Manifold: So Del, do breasts always drip steady streams of milk when aroused?
Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause she looks ready to make a bunch of macaroons.
Delcat: Oh, yeah, it's hell to deal with. Do you know how often I have to wash my sheets?
Zeiss Manifold: It must suck having sour bedspreads.
Delcat: Guy in the hall smiles at me, POOSH, I hit 'im with double barrels of 2%. Sooooo embarrassing.
Delcat: They seem to be stuck on 2%, too. The knob to change it back to whole or skim isn't working.
Delcat: Which reminds me--what do GUYS use their nipples for?
Zeiss Manifold: Conversation pieces.
Delcat: Oh, I thought maybe it changed your jizz between that gloopy curd stuff you get in hentai and the milky liquid stuff you get in yaoi.
Delcat: ...and maybe maple syrup, but I understand that may be a pipe dream.
Zeiss Manifold: Maple syrup would be hell to ejaculate.
Zeiss Manifold: And for the record, ejaculations are rarely accompanied by a chorus of SPLORTs.
Delcat: I know that, silly! It goes "bibibibibi...bi"
Zeiss Manifold: It's pretty quiet actually. Hentai makes it out like someone's slamming a tube of toothpaste with an old army boot.
Delcat: ...h-how did you know my most secret of fetishes, Zeiss
Zeiss Manifold: hahahaha
Delcat: Someone probably actually has it, is the killer. I swear, someone is AT THIS VERY MOMENT masturbating to a grainy video of a woman stomping on a tube of toothpaste wearing an army boot, and it ruins it if it's not the right KIND of army boot.
Delcat: That's just the way people are wired.
Delcat: Which I guess leads us to an important moral:
Delcat: "oh fuck that is fucking fucked man what is this shit"
Zeiss Manifold: DNE
Delcat: (That's it, we need to make that new forum vernacular.)
Zeiss Manifold: ?deunitnoc eb oT

She takes flavor tablets to make her bodily fluids vanilla. How many bodily fluids do these tablets flavor? Does her piss taste like vanilla? Does her blood?

What if she took chocolate pills? Would she produce chocolate milk? Damnit, now I have to know!

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Does her piss taste like vanilla?

I can say loudly and definitively that that is not a question I want answered.

Delcat wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Does her piss taste like vanilla?

I can say loudly and definitively that that is not a question I want answered.

Well, what about when she has the runs? That is a bodily fluid, right?

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Does her piss taste like vanilla?

I can say loudly and definitively that that is not a question I want answered.

Well, what about when she has the runs? That is a bodily fluid, right?

I don't think there's scat in this one, but I can say without a doubt that your other questions will be answered.

Spoiler:

Part of my soul just died, again, dammit people I just regrew that bit.

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Does her piss taste like vanilla?

I can say loudly and definitively that that is not a question I want answered.

Well, what about when she has the runs? That is a bodily fluid, right?

I don't think there's scat in this one, but I can say without a doubt that your other questions will be answered.

Spoiler:

Well good because I was just about ready to have a fit.

Actually this just reminds me of a series of hysterically awful Earthbound fanfics where everyone had a different flavor of, uh, sex fluid. Paula apparently leaked strawberry milk from her pre-pubescent tits, Ness's spooge tasted like caramel, Pokey tasted like onion (eww), I believe the Carpainter was grapefruit, and I cannot remember what Poo and Jeff's semen tasted like. As laugh-out-loud stupid as it was, I almost liked the idea because it sort of fit with the zaniness of the source material. The fics were terrible in every single way though, so whatever. Also one was about Farm Zombie gang-rape.

Armbiter of Good Fanfiction Join date : 2009-06-11

So what is the place really? A farm of young boys for space aliens to come and have sex with?

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Also one was about Farm Zombie gang-rape.

oh fucking fuck Reep why you gotta remind me of that

Delcat wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:: Also one was about Farm Zombie gang-rape.

oh fucking fuck Reep why you gotta remind me of that

Because I am jealous of you. Perhaps if I disable you by breaking your mind I can make my move and become the beloved snark-queen of WGW.

That would be easier than actually, you know, being funny.

Quote :: Page 24

Zeiss Manifold: WHY IS HE HAVING A PERIOD
InkWeaver: mmm mm I love me some boys with mini-tits
InkWeaver: ...also... that was my first thought as well.
Zeiss Manifold: This just reminds me of that South Park episode.
Delcat: I think it's just going in with the school thing. I THINK. Oh God Zeiss, did I block it out?
Zeiss Manifold: Shit, he does have tits. And club foot.
Zeiss Manifold: yay
InkWeaver: Oh, honey, you don't hold in the bleeding like that. That just won't do. Here, these two items will help you - they're called a pad and a tampon, respectively.
Zeiss Manifold: Don't distract him, he's too busy being wan.
Delcat: Or a cup, if you're environmentally aware...and disgusting.

Quote :: Page 25

Zeiss Manifold: Sing the happy happy happy happy happy happy song...
Delcat: What are your natural scents, guys?
Delcat: Mine are gingerbread and vampire sparkles.
Zeiss Manifold: If she gets to be chocolate, can I be almond tea?
Delcat: Sure thing, honey. And you, Inky?
Zeiss Manifold: I swear, if that stuff tasted as good as it smelled I'd never drink anything else.
Zeiss Manifold: Wet Hot American Nursing.
Inkweaver: WTF
Delcat: I think her pleasure song is flatlining.
InkWeaver: WTF IS WRONG WITH HER HIPS
InkWeaver: they're like big flabby whale lungs or something
Delcat: Why, what OH GOD I LOOKED STRAIGHT PAST THEM
Zeiss Manifold: Her pelvis is trying to break free.
Delcat: SHE LOOKS LIKE A CONCENTRATION CAMP VICTIM
InkWeaver: They look sort of like putty.
Zeiss Manifold: Putty that's collapsing inward.
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe there's just a singularity in her womb.
Delcat: Hey Inky, let's speak in Femian so we can tell secrets in front of Zeiss!
Delcat: /\--//--\--//\
Zeiss Manifold: MR. T IS A GENIUS AND YOU DON'T DARE INSULT HIM YOUNG LADY
InkWeaver: ][][}}[[[-----\\\\|||\\\\//////
Delcat: HOW DO YOU KNOW FEMIAN
Delcat: ...Zeiss
Zeiss Manifold: I have sisters
Delcat: ...are you secretly a dickgirl
Zeiss Manifold: I absorbed it as a youth
Zeiss Manifold: not that i know of
Delcat: Your girl parts or the language?
Zeiss Manifold: the language, duh
Zeiss Manifold: you can't absorb a vagina
Zeiss Manifold: unless you're in Soviet Russia
InkWeaver: Actually, I was feeding you Femweed.
InkWeaver: You just didn't know it.
Zeiss Manifold: oh well that explains it

Quote :: Page 26

Zeiss Manifold: it also explains why I seem to have downloaded every Tori Amos album…
Delcat: That...divide, on her stomach...what IS that, even.
Zeiss Manifold: Some sort of half-finished thong
Zeiss Manifold: Ah yes, let's cure childhood traumas through RAEP
Delcat: You know, I feel nasty too. Am I a femboy?
Zeiss Manifold: If I'm a dickgirl, then you're a femboy
Delcat: You know, you see dickgirls all the time, but you hardly ever see vagboys. It's weird.
Zeiss Manifold: HEY, GUESS WHAT FETISHES THE AUTHOR HAS
Delcat: ALL OF THEM??
Zeiss Manifold: yeah pretty much
Delcat: So he's going to be underage forever. Lovely.
InkWeaver: Okay, what did I miss in the snark? didn't they already have sex?
Zeiss Manifold: uh, kinda
Zeiss Manifold: well they didn't go in-and-out
Delcat: No, she jerked off in front of him and he jizzed his pants.
Zeiss Manifold: yeah, what del says
InkWeaver: "I sensed an old childhood trauma. Therefore, the only way to help him overcome it is to have sex with him, thereby adding more trauma. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"
Delcat: And he sucked her tits.
Delcat: We haven't seen his dick yet.
Zeiss Manifold: BUT WILL WE?
Delcat: All OVER the fuckin' place.
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION GEEZ
Delcat: HOW IS "WILL WE SEE HIS DICK" EVER A RHETORICAL QUESTION
Zeiss Manifold: OH, CAN IT NOT BE A RHETORICAL QUESTION?

Quote :: Page 27

Delcat: That first panel is just so much D:
Zeiss Manifold: aaaaand we have dick sighting.
Zeiss Manifold: throb!
Delcat: Although the little hearts are a nice touch
InkWeaver: Throb!
InkWeaver: Throb!
InkWeaver: That's what happens when I get turned on, guys.
InkWeaver: I MEAN --
Zeiss Manifold: And now it's time for a little game called "Spot the awkward social commentary".
Zeiss Manifold: OH SO YOU ARE A DICKGIRL
Zeiss Manifold: I KNEW IT
Delcat: As a side note, I hate when they spell it "Ratchet". It's “Ratched", dudes, for srs.
Zeiss Manifold: That dick looks goddamn diseased, man
Delcat: NOOOO IT'S ~*BEAUTIFUL*~
Delcat: Maybe she wanted to cut them off because they were incurably gangrenous.
Zeiss Manifold: FEMMINS ARE MADE OF FOUR FOREST ANIMALS
Zeiss Manifold: I'd rather give him the jaws of life, seeing where this is going.
Delcat: Yeah, may I illustrate that with a pertinent webcomic?
Zeiss Manifold: sure
Delcat: Over to you, Bob.
InkWeaver: If you deny your sexual nature, you go out and murder EVERYONE guys
Zeiss Manifold: Y'know, I don't think "peter" has been in the sexual parlance since 1973.
Zeiss Manifold: This kid must be older then he looks.
InkWeaver: Guys, Peter is CLEARLY a southern word.
Zeiss Manifold: It is?
InkWeaver: A dude in my class used to sing "There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off"
InkWeaver: all the time
Zeiss Manifold: Well then, THE MORE YOU KNOW
Delcat: His willy? His particular? His filthy sin-stick?
Delcat: Inky, is that to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It"?
Zeiss Manifold: hold on
Zeiss Manifold: I guess this whole thing is a lesson on why drugs and MS Paint don't mix.
Zeiss Manifold: oh my god guys
Zeiss Manifold: it's like a Chick tract from an alternate universe
Delcat: Nah, there's no Fang.

Quote :: Page 28

Zeiss Manifold: No Fang YET.
InkWeaver: Yes it is to that tune ,Delly.
Zeiss Manifold: Holy shit, they actually said "turgid".
Delcat: Protip: "Turgid" is not a sexy word. Ever.
InkWeaver: TURGID
Zeiss Manifold: C'mon Nyar, they can just kiss and we'd get it
InkWeaver: it sounds like some sort of drain cleaner to me
Zeiss Manifold: There's no need for like sinus magic and stuff
Delcat: uniball wut?
Delcat: Does he have girl-hips or is it just me?
Zeiss Manifold: WET TONGUES SLITHER AND SLOSH
Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause he's a femboy duh
Delcat: They look like a pair of leeches humping.
Zeiss Manifold: There's probably a Very Hungry Caterpillar joke somewhere in here.
Zeiss Manifold: oshit she's going to lay her eggs inside him
Zeiss Manifold: she IS a wasp
Delcat: Is he attempting to penetrate her navel?
Zeiss Manifold: Well, she's trying to penetrate his nipple.
Delcat: They're just going to absorb each other, like slimes.
InkWeaver: I just cannot get over how badly drawn this manga is. I'm just taking a moment to marvel at how completely badly this is drawn.
Zeiss Manifold: It's like a perfect synergy of gangrenous art and turgid writing.
Delcat: Is that our word of the day, now? Turgid?
Zeiss Manifold: Yes, it is!
Zeiss Manifold: *Balloons*

Quote :: Page 29

Zeiss Manifold: *GLARGLE FLAP SPWAFF QUAMP*
Delcat: You know, we really should come up with a solid name for that mysterious fluid that emanates from all orifices and every inch of skin that hentai characters get.
Zeiss Manifold: Spornma?
Delcat: That works.
Zeiss Manifold: Okay then.
Zeiss Manifold: That kid's spornming like he's from Ariake or something.
Delcat: Man, the first time I was kissed my boyfriend dang' near tried to fit my entire head in his mouth and we STILL didn't get that messy.
Zeiss Manifold: Her boobs keep growing every page.
Zeiss Manifold: EVERY PAGE.
InkWeaver: SPLUT.
InkWeaver: THE SEXIEST NOISE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.
Delcat: Splt-splut, now, children!
Zeiss Manifold: Next to "throb!", that is!
InkWeaver: Let us please take a moment to honor the sexiest noise I have ever heard of. Splut.
InkWeaver: The sound of jizzing. The sound of love.
InkWeaver: THE SOUND OF THE CENTURY.
Zeiss Manifold: I'm spooshing so hard just thinking about it.
InkWeaver: LOL
Delcat: Is he wearing underwear or not? It's like he started to draw it in and then decided against it and was too lazy to erase.
Zeiss Manifold: THE FEMS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF SPLUTTING
Zeiss Manifold: I think his nipple is trying to leave the page.

Quote :: Page 30

Zeiss Manifold: Again with the splutting.
InkWeaver: A RICTUS
InkWeaver: of ...
InkWeaver: ewwww
InkWeaver: god the mouth noises
InkWeaver: even in text, mouth noises bother me.
Delcat: If your eyes roll back in your head, you are officially doing it too hard.
Zeiss Manifold: Look's like someone's got a thesaurus.
InkWeaver: That poor Strunk and White. What did it do to deserve such abuse?
Zeiss Manifold: And his nipples are "painfully" erect
Zeiss Manifold: that doesn't happen to guys too mcuh
Delcat: Mouths don't work like that. They just...they just DON'T.
Zeiss Manifold: but he's a femboy so hey who knows.
Zeiss Manifold: Is he leaking ectoplasm as well?
Delcat: hey guys she's holding an invisible lunchtray
Delcat: and spilling her invisible macaroni
Zeiss Manifold: That vein...just wow.
Delcat: Did he jizz a pair of fried eggs onto the floor of the last panel?
Delcat: maybe I'm just hungry
Zeiss Manifold: It's like the artist was trying to draw a tree, and just gave up and drew whatever the hell that is on top of it.

Quote :: Page 31

Zeiss Manifold: Oh boy, a new font.
Delcat: "Tired out 'n ready for bed", because we have not gone over the creepy childishness enough.
Zeiss Manifold: No, he won't have "milk".
Zeiss Manifold: That. doesnt. happen.
Zeiss Manifold: Unless you're suffering from famine.
Zeiss Manifold: Does he really need to spornma from another orifice?
InkWeaver: Guys
InkWeaver: this is almost unsnarkable in its ridiculousness
InkWeaver: who the fuck thinks of this siht
InkWeaver: shit*
InkWeaver: ... this is ono's cousin isn't it
Zeiss Manifold: I can imagine.
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe someone who like read all of Ono's books in high school
Zeiss Manifold: and it screwed him up for life.
Zeiss Manifold: It gets more snarkable later on, though.
InkWeaver: NEXT PAGE PLEASE
InkWeaver: LET'S KEEP IT MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Quote :: Page 32

InkWeaver: I need to crash around two.
Zeiss Manifold: okay
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S AWWWWWWWWWRIGHT
Delcat: you HAD to beat me to it
Zeiss Manifold: ha ha ha
Delcat: Seriously, his face is identical to mine right now.
Zeiss Manifold: These people look like MANNEQUINS
InkWeaver: WHAT? I HAVE TO BREASTFEED A BABY?
InkWeaver: Oh, okay, I guess that's cool as long as you keep touchin' my penis.
Delcat: Or, in the case of the kid, one of those anatomically correct "where-did-he-touch-you" dolls.
InkWeaver: The way to a man's compliance is through his penis. RIGHT ZEISS?
Delcat: It's convenient, he'll be able to point to himself later.
Zeiss Manifold: Oh don't involve me in this.
Delcat: No, it's his balls. Watch this. *VICEGRIP*
Zeiss Manifold: And all sense is moot as things go sploot, IN FEMBOY'S LAAAAB
InkWeaver: Ohhh. Thanks, Auntie Delcat!
InkWeaver: Zeiss, you did not just ruin Dexter's Lab for me.
Zeiss Manifold: That's not very effective over the internet you know.
Delcat: B-but I used asterisks!

Quote :: Page 33

Zeiss Manifold: Is kissing really that hard to draw?
Delcat: Have you guys seen the Doctor Who chibi fanart where they're slapping their tongues together to rainbows and a LOL GAY caption? Yeah, it looks like that.
InkWeaver: I think the default for bad porn is to draw them with their tongues lolling out slobbering all over each other. This is like dog porn.
Zeiss Manifold: Everyone just horfs.
Delcat: They keep drawing her like she'd be boning him if she was a dickgirl.
InkWeaver: horfs, oh god, best onomatopoeia (I think that's right) ever.
InkWeaver: Also, all the "mommy" stuff is really hurting me.
Zeiss Manifold: We might need several horf bags for this.
Delcat: It only gets worse, unfortunately.

Quote :: Page 34

InkWeaver: Wow. It's like staring into the abyss.
InkWeaver: Or is the abyss staring into me?
Zeiss Manifold: OH FEMMYBOY
Zeiss Manifold: THE VAG, THE VAG IS CALLING...
Delcat: stop making your pussy talk man that's just silly
Zeiss Manifold: Apparently, that pussy is backlit.
InkWeaver: You think if I tell my boyfriend to put his penis where it's warm and safe, he'll find it really sexy?
Delcat: His head is just kind of floating randomly in the first panel. Look, it's not attached at all.
Delcat: If a PENIS THIEF IS ABOUT
Delcat: What's with the panel of a random room? Did she just make him jizz through a portal into someone else's room just to mess with them?
InkWeaver: I'll not be having penis thieves in my country!
InkWeaver: I wouldn't put it past her with her wasp genes.
InkWeaver: Also - wasp the animal or WASP the acronym
InkWeaver: Hmmm.
Delcat: BOTH??
Zeiss Manifold: That is a conundrum.

Quote :: Page 35

Delcat: Ladies and gentlemen, when Shatner has sex.
Zeiss Manifold: This manga has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
Zeiss Manifold: fucking hell Del I can't unhear it.
Zeiss Manifold: I CAN'T UNHEAR IT
Delcat: :D
Zeiss Manifold: Sigmund Freud actually exploded upon seening this. 'Tis a historical fact.
Delcat: Wanna be unable to UNSEE something?
InkWeaver: HELP
Zeiss Manifold: ...
InkWeaver: SHATNER IN MY BRAIN
InkWeaver: HAVING SEX IN MY BRAIN
InkWeaver: DEL
InkWeaver: THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
Delcat: Fourth panel: Tits are eyes, vagina is mouth.
Zeiss Manifold: LOOK DEL NOW YOU'VE CORRUPTED INKY
Delcat: and it's going "say WHAAAA?"
Zeiss Manifold: LOOK WHAT YOUR FURTIVE QUEST FOR REVENGE HAS WROUGHT
Delcat: BWAHAHAHA
InkWeaver: OH DEAR GOD HOW DID YOU EVEN MAKE THAT CONNECTION OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
InkWeaver: THE GAPING MAWWWWW
Zeiss Manifold: No, tits are eyes, vagina is snout, anus is mouth
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A REINDEER
InkWeaver: *sobs brokenly*
InkWeaver: SANTA WOULD NEVER EMPLOY THAT REINDEER
Delcat: Ahh...my work is done.

Quote :: Page 36

Zeiss Manifold: And he dies. THE END
Delcat: Dude, you should've started worrying about premature ejaculation THE LAST EIGHT EJACULATIONS AGO.
Zeiss Manifold: It's okay, it happens to a lot of femboys.
InkWeaver: Wow. Cunt-blocked.
InkWeaver: I'd feel for this lady if she wasn't fucking a kid.
Zeiss Manifold: I'd feel bad for the kid if his balls weren't filled with frosting.
InkWeaver: Also, there is a gob of semen headed for her open eye in the first panel.
InkWeaver: that might sting, lady.
Zeiss Manifold: You ever go eye-to-mouth!
Delcat: It's okay, they genetically engineered him with No-More-Tears semen.

Quote :: Page 37

InkWeaver: Oh Johnson and Johnson, what whacky inventions will you come up with next?
Zeiss Manifold: LILYWHITE LILITH
Zeiss Manifold: SHE GONNA LEAD YOU TO THE TUNNEL OF VAG
InkWeaver: She's so...
InkWeaver: cheerful.
Delcat: And as the sun is setting deep into the wood, my mother humps my little leg and tells me I'm so good.
Zeiss Manifold: The poor kid's an everlasting gobstopper.
InkWeaver: Ho ho hee hee! I'll just dryhump his leg a bit until he's awake!
Zeiss Manifold: Okay Del, stop writing Faulkner novels.
InkWeaver: She's like a leprechaun or something
Delcat: Oh man, I got an infestation of dryhump leprechauns once.
Delcat: Took ages to get all the nests sprayed.
Zeiss Manifold: Is the second panel a hint at a possible werewolf twist?
InkWeaver: Dude, Orkin is not up for that task.
InkWeaver: It might just be an Ono Boat Scene, if you know what i mean.
Delcat: She's a...WEREDICKGIRL

I thought Japanese stuff always censored the genitals. Okay, there's a sort-of-black bar over the tip of the boy's penis but it's not actually hiding anything.
The one time probably everyone would want it censored and it isn't.

-SHIFT CHANGE-

Quote :: Page 48

Delcat: SO HEY DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE??
Zeiss Manifold: "The effects were immediate! The air started to fill with all sorts of weird, horrible fonts!"
Delcat: I'M SEEING SOME BEAN CURD IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SEX DOLL'S VAGINA
Zeiss Manifold: Okay, is she supposed to be like half-snake or something? 'Cause her stomach...I have no idea what's going on there.
Delcat: I think that's what you look like when all of your fat spontaneously migrates to your beachball-tits.
Zeiss Manifold: What do you think is making that "slap" noise?
Delcat: My hand across this mangaka's face, in a perfect world.

Quote :: Page 49

Delcat: Urethra-vision--the vision of the FUTURE!
Zeiss Manifold: THE PROSTATE IS A MAAAAAAGICAL ORGASM BUTTON
Zeiss Manifold: THAT IS WHAT IT DOES
Zeiss Manifold: ...I hope that's his cum and not a very badly-drawn hand.
Delcat: One in the stink and two in the horrible misshapen penis dimension.
Delcat: What are those lumps, seriously?
Delcat: It's SEMEN. Not tapioca. SEMEN. One uniform substance.
Delcat: No bodily fluid should ever CURDLE.
Zeiss Manifold: I honestly cannot parse how these people are saying these things.
Zeiss Manifold: "FEEL THE PRESSURE BUILDING...LIKE A VOLCANO?"
Delcat: What, you mean "NGHHAAAAAAAIIEE"? Yeah, I'm having a hard time wrapping my tongue around that one.
Delcat: "OH YEAH, BABY, OUTGAS FOR ME! FILL THE ATMOSPHERE WITH CHOKING ASH!"
Zeiss Manifold: The volcano metaphor doesn't really work, unless his sperm is going to color the sunset for a month or something.

Quote :: Page 50

Delcat: It certainly LOOKS that volatile.
Delcat: oh God what.
Delcat: I swear her tits are growing by the page.
Zeiss Manifold: STAMINA +3
Delcat: Is that how the mangaka thinks fat people work? Shouldn't he KNOW how fat people work?
Zeiss Manifold: ...Where did his dick go? This makes no anatomical sense.
Delcat: I've heard of spare tires, but she's seriously got a set of inner tubes hanging off her chest.
Zeiss Manifold: Surely, there is not a more concise utterance of ecstacy in the literary canon than AGH UGH
Delcat:
And they didn't even do us the courtesy of giving us an ass shot on the
page with the full moon. How can I make a cheap PG-movie shot now?

Quote :: Page 51

Delcat: The text makes even less sense than the anatomy.
Zeiss Manifold: Clearly, this is a much better alternative! What with the SPLURTing and all.
Delcat: IT'S SO TOTALLY NATURAL TO DIDDLE LITTLE KIDS, IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND PURE
Zeiss Manifold: She even SAYS it's to control them.
Delcat: And outside the compound, a group of freedom fighters led by Chris Hansen soldiers grimly on into the night...
Zeiss Manifold: ...Holy shit. If there's ever a fanfic for this thing, that should be it.

Quote :: Page 52

Delcat:
Aw hell, and I just watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory last
night. "I couldn't give my factory to grown-ups. I needed a little boy."
Delcat: "He's curious, not horrified! GOOD! Too bad the same can't be said for the readers!"
Zeiss Manifold: HARVEST THE SKIN OFF ANOTHER FEMBOY
Delcat:
Gee, way to delicately handle the sensitive issue of those children
unfortunately conceived beyond their control through incest as "monster
babies". Totes socially aware.
Zeiss Manifold: Second panel: That's right, this manga is DEEP.
Delcat: Wasp DNA, spider DNA, and a healthy dose of THC.
Zeiss Manifold: FOUR FOREST ANIMALS

Quote :: Page 53

Delcat: "Thffff...yeah, what if...what if I die and junk...yeah, gimme another hit..."
Zeiss Manifold: Oh hey, I missed these guys.
Delcat: C-chicks with dicks? Oh God, they found Ono's secret stash!
Zeiss Manifold: Ono's throwing out his liquor too.
Delcat: Yes, they're just so loving and nurturing, getting their dear little humpie horsies smashed on hard liquor.
Zeiss Manifold:
This reminds me of those "peer pressure" specials where some group of
kids would always find a six pack and a carton of Marlboros haphazardly
thrown on the beach.
Delcat: "We
recycle...EVERYTHING!" Aw man, that was a great episode of Futurama. I
hope a giant garbage meteor takes out this trash,.
Delcat: And the gun. The sixer, the Marlboros, and the gun.
Delcat: And a bag of assorted needles if it was a full hour show.
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 7: Damn, Johnny's got some epic cameltoe.
Zeiss Manifold: I FEEL THE NEED
Zeiss Manifold: THE NEED FOR SPLORT
Delcat: THE NEED...TO BREED
Zeiss Manifold: pffffffffffff how did i miss that
Delcat: You make the song riffs, I'll make the horrible sex jokes.
Delcat: I'm just the Crow to your Tom.
Zeiss Manifold: You take the low road, and I'll take the DONGS, thank you very much

Quote :: Page 54

Zeiss Manifold: He'll never find out his teacher is KILROY KILROY KILROY
Delcat: "This...is a piece of paper. There, I'm done. Piss off, ya little trolls. Mr. Roboto's gonna go vodka-diving."
Delcat: The problem's plain to see--it hurts down where I pee
Zeiss Manifold: HE NEEDS A THNEED
Delcat: Are you saying that they made banana hammocks out of those things too?

Quote :: Page 55

Delcat: I CAN SMELL YOUR SPICY TITS
Zeiss Manifold: With that bush to her back, she looks like some kind of centaur.
Delcat: "Wow! Is HE fucked up!" Is the manga looking out at the average reader now?
Delcat: I never watched Beavis and Butthead, but the HUH HUH HUHs are not lost on my vague sense of obsolete pop culture.
Zeiss Manifold: I CAN SMELLLL HER COMING FROM SO FAR AWAY
Zeiss Manifold: SHE GIVES ME SOME SWEET SPLORTIN', BRIGHTENS UP MY DAY
Delcat: Wait, what is that random division of lines in Panel 3? A kangaroo's ear? A river delta? A collapsing stick figure?
Delcat: Oh, no, he's got a snake tongue! Oh God what did they do to his DNA.
Delcat: hiss hiss.
Zeiss Manifold: It looks like he's puking a ski jump.

Quote :: Page 56

Delcat: "I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED a Super Soaker, the man on TV said so! *WHIIIIIIIIIINE*"
Delcat: "Most people need an incentive to be nice to each other."
"You mean, like a betterment of society and a sense of virtue?"
"No, fucking! :D"
Zeiss Manifold: ...How come the elevator numbers aren't flipped?
Zeiss Manifold: It's humanism...perhaps too much so.
Delcat: ...that is a good question. Maybe he only flips the ones that work well with his plot? ...if this can be called a plot
Delcat: ?
Delcat: I have a confession to make, Zeiss.
Zeiss Manifold: Yes?
Delcat: Since I reached a certain point in my life, my brain started producing a neurotoxin.
Delcat: If...if I don't play one of Popcap's fine series of games at least once every week...I die.
Zeiss Manifold: DUN DUN DUN
Delcat: Do you have a screencap-toxin?
Zeiss Manifold: So THAT'S why someone's been leaving Bejeweled in all those dumpsters.
Zeiss Manifold: It's simple biochemistry.
Delcat: I'm on a Chuzzle drip right now. It's sad.
Zeiss Manifold: The 'need', the hunt for new reaction pics, begins...
Delcat: But...but Zeiss...what happens when the series is over?
Zeiss Manifold: pffft it'll never be over
Zeiss Manifold: Unless...

Quote :: Page 57

Delcat: I would say "Get a room", but you HAVE a room. You're directly outside it. You're just LAZY.
Zeiss Manifold: Socrates: :|
Zeiss Manifold: Plato: WORK THAT NIPPLE
Delcat: Uh...yeah, someone stayed awake for like half a biology class and called it good. Wow.
Delcat: FECES IS NOT A LIQUID AND NEITHER SHOULD IT BE EXCHANGED, MADAM
Zeiss Manifold: I'm expecting them to go all Hathor by Chapter 7 and start talking about "Love hormones".
Zeiss Manifold: Actually, the way she's leaking, we're halfway Hathor already.
Zeiss Manifold: SUKLE SUKLE SUKLE SUKLE
Delcat: OMG ZEISS THAT WEBCOMIC IS SO NOT FOR THE LIKES OF YOU IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND NATURAL AND HILARIOUS
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S NOT FOR ME
Delcat: AND ABOUT HORRIFYING COW WOMEN LEAKING MILK FROM THEIR SAGGING TEATS
Zeiss Manifold: AND SHITTING ON FLOORS
Delcat: BUT MOSTLY BEAUTIFUL AND ALL THAT
Delcat: moo.
Zeiss Manifold: DEL NO
Delcat: SHE IS COW, HEAR HER MOO
Delcat: SHE WEIGHS TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU
Delcat: AND SHE LOOKS GOOD ON THE BARBECUE
Delcat: AND THAT IS AN AMAZING THING
Delcat: WOMAXXN POWER
Zeiss Manifold: And she can't even be arsed to leave some vodka around.
Zeiss Manifold:
"Saliva, sex juices, milk, urine, feces, corn, chicken, green peppers,
chili...onions!"
Delcat: I...it actually looks it. What have you done.
Zeiss Manifold: Oh, you know, Biochemistry! Hormones, and DNA, and...cells, and things.
Zeiss Manifold: Nipples, too.
Delcat: Aaand...the chapter just ends there? Seriously?
Zeiss Manifold: Yep.
Delcat: ...kind of in the middle of something, though.
Zeiss Manifold: So yeah. And what did we learn today?
Delcat: That fat spastically reforms itself into strange oval shapes during sex?
Zeiss Manifold: Good enough. You get a cookie!
Delcat: Yaaaaaaay! *omnomno--* ...Zeiss. What is this cookie made of, exactly?
Zeiss Manifold: Saliva, sex juices, milk...
Delcat: Vomit?
Zeiss Manifold: Nope, neurotoxins!
Delcat: WELL IT IS NOW
Zeiss Manifold: =D

Time for another edition of Femboy School! This one's half a chapter becuase said chapter is ELEVEN MILLION PAGES LONG and I have to make potatoes tomorrow morning, but rest assured we'll tackle the rest soon enough. Zeiss sends a video and a [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. Hooray!

Zeiss: Alright, you ready?
Delcat: *sigh* I don't think that word can apply to this...thing.

Quote :: Page 58

Zeiss: He looks more like a Grey with every chapter.
Delcat: I would point out that his head is shrinking, but microcephaly is really a way of life in Japan.
Delcat: Why did he bother flipping this page? It's one panel.
Zeiss: To better show off his superflous third nipple, I think.
Delcat: At least the word balloon pleases him.

Quote :: Page 59

Zeiss: OH I WAS WONDERING HOW THAT STORYLINE WAS GOING TO END
Delcat: Really? 'Cause I had totally blocked it out.
Delcat: Until NOW.
Zeiss: "SPLT" - the tit-sucking Tetragrammaton. Or something.
Delcat: Why does she have actual nipples when he just has vague rounded domes? I've heard of mosquito bites, but...
Zeiss: Oh great, he came right in the middle of his transformation sequence.
Delcat: Is he crying? 'Cause crying is soooo sexy.
Delcat: God, look at her ham-hand in Panel 4.
Zeiss: I think that's the artists' hand, myself.
Delcat: This reminds me of the one yaoi manga that everyone only seems to have one page of where a guy with two dicks rapes a guy with two assholes.

Quote :: Page 60

Zeiss: Cummy Bear: The Care Bear who wasn't allowed within 250 feet of the set.
Delcat: No no no, Cummy Bears were the ill-fated Gummi Bears spin-off candy. Guess what the secret ingredient was? That's right, pineapple.
Zeiss: I feel bad for understanding that.
Delcat: I don't think I've ever seen a representation of Mother Mary with word balloons saying THROB THROB SQUISH on it.
Zeiss: When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me / Slishing dicks of femboys, let it be....
Delcat: Why are they aiming their money shots at an elevator door? I mean, it's a good prank and all, but ya gotta wait until it OPENS.
Delcat: And they're aiming way too low, you wanna go for face level.
Delcat: And preferably wait until Reverend Falwell is in town.
Zeiss: I don't see HOW he can "aim low" at that angle.
Delcat: Look, his hand's over it. He's using one finger to skew the angle.
Delcat: The color difference is getting to me. It's like BRIGHTRED cock, BRIGHTRED asshole, and then MILKWHITE taint.
Delcat: Although it's black and white so I guess it could be, like, green and we wouldn't know
Zeiss: It looks like a yam.
Delcat: Oh FUCK YOU, Zeiss, right before Thanksgiving? FUCK YOU.
Delcat: Next you're going to compare her misshapen breasts to turkeys.
Zeiss: NOW I SHALL EAT ALL OF THE YAMS
Zeiss: AND THE TURKEYS
Zeiss: JUST YOU WAIT
Delcat: At least there's nothing we can compare that marshmallow-and-pineapple stuff that everyone seems to make and no one seems to know the name of to.
Zeiss: No, you mentioned pinapple earlier.
Delcat: ...what about green bean casserole?
Zeiss: No one likes that in the first place.
Delcat: P-potatoes?
Zeiss: Yams are technically potatoes.
Delcat: Dinner rolls?
Zeiss: Let's just *hope* there's no yeast in this one.
Delcat: Cranberry sauce?
Zeiss: Nah, this whole thing might be fem-crazy but I doubt they'd go for the full-on menstruation bit.
Delcat: I don't have to ask about stuffing, do I.
Zeiss: Well, uh...this manga is certainly full of stuff.
Delcat: Well, congratulations, Zeiss. Between the two of us, Thanksgiving is now canceled.
Zeiss: You forgot balloons.
Delcat: At this rate, we should do a Christmas special about dickgirls and just black out the entire holiday calendar.
Zeiss: FORESHADOWING? YOU DECIDE

Quote :: Page 61

Delcat: ~Beautiful baby, cum unto me
Delcat: All this "dolly" stuff is reminding me of the bit in Battle Royale where the girl is molested by her father and represented as a broken doll. At least in Battle Royale, they showed child molestation to be a BAD thing.
Zeiss: He's such an ugly little dolly
And he's making her look very silly
And when you listen in to his wish
You get paralysed with his SLISH
Delcat: Although maybe we still have a chance of the manga ending like this
Zeiss: "Serve" is written in cop show font.
Zeiss: SERVE
Delcat: dead zombie eyes
Delcat: So the translator add in all these fruity little hearts himself?

Quote :: Page 62

Zeiss: Why does he keep missing? And why does she have a womb tattooed on her thigh?
Delcat: Sigmund Freud: *pops TWO monocles*
Zeiss: Her rear end looks like a very angry cyclops.
Delcat: Oh, you know how it is, you get hammered, you wake up the next morning, you have your entire digestive system tattooed on your chest...
Zeiss: COCK TONGUE. I'm getting CYOC flashbacks.
Delcat: WALKING TALKING COCK TONGUE
Delcat: Do nipples really make "tweak" noises? Or is that his cock?
Zeiss: No, his cock's too busy getting caught in a sub roll.
Delcat: And Zeiss, do you enjoy having your cock chewed on? Does that sound pleasurable?
Zeiss: They're just begging us to make a vagina dentata joke, aren't they.
Delcat: 'Cause I associate it with gnawed-on dog toys.
Zeiss: Well, he is going OW OW OW in the last panel.
Delcat: I dunno, the returning to the womb thing combined with a vagina dentata joke may be too much Freud for this page to handle.
Delcat: That is an angry knee boy howdy it sure is
Zeiss: I dunno, the boy still seems a bit Jung for this.
Delcat: *rimshot*

Quote :: Page 63

Delcat: DEAD ZOMBIE EYES
Zeiss: Just one thing can boost the male sex drive, and that is a piece of rhubarb pie.
Zeiss: Serve it up, nice and hot, maybe things aren't as Freudian as you thought.
Delcat: At least she's completely butchering that song, and thus isn't ruining anyone's childhood. Well, except whinebitch there.
Delcat: Wow. It's an ironic nursery tune, but not an Ironic Nursery Tune. Has TV Tropes failed us?
Zeiss: Has EVERYTHING failed us?
Zeiss: I mean, I am in awe here.
Zeiss: GONADS
Zeiss: ONLY BIOLOGY TEXTBOOKS USE THAT WORD
Delcat: AND IT'S NOT TESTICLE-SPECIFIC
Delcat: ZEISS I DON'T WANT HER TO ROPE MY OVARIES LIKE A CALF
Zeiss: Apparently, in dystopian femboy-land, it is customary to fill one's mouth with hot sauce during the run-up to orgasm.
Delcat: Hey, there are worse places it could fill up, my friend.
Zeiss: What is happening with her lower body in panel 3?
Delcat: OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE MELTING

Quote :: Page 64

Delcat: Boy, he sure does like cumin. I'm more of a ginger girl, myself.
Delcat: "NO CLOCKWISE I SAID CLOCKWISE YOU'RE RUINING IT FOR ME"
Zeiss: Panel 1: MY BREASTS ABSORB EXCESS MASS FROM MY MIDSECTION
Zeiss: Is it really a good idea to have more than one vibe per orifice? Seems like things could get pretty chattery.
Delcat: Man, that vagina is one vibe above capacity.
Delcat: Maybe they're jelly vibes, or maybe only one of them is on?
Zeiss: Well, either that or they actually *are* sticking to 'one vibe per hole' and we've been transferred to House of Succubus by mistake.
Delcat: Do we care about this "grav-lev" thing? Will we ever care about this "grav-lev" thing? Is there anything that separates this "grav-lev" thing from A FUCKING ELEVATOR?
Delcat: Aside from it being a fucking elevator, i.e. an elevator to fuck in
Zeiss: I'm imagining them just jumping into trees and coming out of random places like in a bad Scooby-Doo episode.
Zeiss: Basically, someone thought that creepy incest manga on the whole needed more SCIENCE.
Delcat: What is...is she even fucking him in the third panel? Those are not legs and that is not a dick.
Zeiss: It kinda looks like a lightbulb. Maybe she's just having a shitty idea?
Delcat: *rimshot*
Delcat: That's your second, dude. Go beyond three and we're talking overtime.

Quote :: Page 65

Zeiss: "Emollients"? Well, maybe those are what's responsible for the whining.
Delcat: "Flushed" is never, ever, ever going to be a sexy word. In any sense of the word. Ever.
Zeiss: Dammit, that was a perfectly good kielbasa.
Delcat: I like that she's saying "Just a bit more" when she's clearly jackhammering that thing like a rabbit on Viagra.
Zeiss: GIGGLE
Delcat: "You are such a BABY! I'm just brutally raping you in the ass! Giggle!"
Zeiss: An eye for an eye, a dong for a dong.
Delcat: Did he just come in his own face the hard way?
Zeiss: By leaking through the floor?
Delcat: And then running downstairs to catch the money shot. Hardcore, man.
Zeiss: Say, Del, this has been pretty crazy so far, but how would you feel if we made this *even crazier*?
Delcat: GOSH, ZEISS, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE THE EXCITEMENT
Delcat: I mean seriously, my gorge is pretty high right now, I don't know how long I can tamp down my vomit
Zeiss: I TAKE THAT AS A 'YES'

Quote :: Page 66

Zeiss: And speaking of Yes, Roger Dean font.
Delcat: Man, I wish just once we could get a narrator who wasn't a perv.
Zeiss: Say what you will, they're creative.
Zeiss: MUFF MUNCHKIN
Delcat: "Cavern of Discovery" sounds like the name of a shitty Vacation Bible School program.
Delcat: Although not as bad as the construction-themed one that our church did. JESUS LOVES YOU, HAVE A BRICK.
Zeiss: Just be glad it wasn't about muff munchkining or whatever this is.
Delcat: If I had "snatch slime", I think I'd see my gynecologist.
Zeiss: BOYCUM
Zeiss: SUCKY FUCKY SERVANT
Zeiss: SUCKY FUCKY SERVANT
Delcat: And I swear my crotch has never smelled like licorice OR sweet cucumber.
Zeiss: SUCKY FUCKY SERVANTS, THEY MAKE A SPLORTING RACE
Delcat: It does smell like lobster on occasion.
Delcat: But on those nights, I just charge eight bucks a pound.
Zeiss: I really don't know what the whole "licorice and sweet cucumber" thing is.
Zeiss: I bet his mom put those in his sandwiches all the time and now it's just all flowing out onto the page.
Delcat: Yeah. Isn't licorice one of those things that, like, a third of the population likes?
Delcat: Maybe they're misunderstanding how aniseed works.
Zeiss: Well, maybe it's SCIENCE licorice
Zeiss: that can give people an extra ball or something i don't know
Zeiss: Her tits are trippin' balls.
Delcat: Her asshole looks like the SHOOP WOOP guy's mouth.
Zeiss: And her arm just looks deformed.
Zeiss: Seriously, it's like all the women have segmented thoraxes.
Delcat: Uh, yeah, Zeiss, that's actually our little secret...
Zeiss: So...women are centipedes?
Delcat: Millipedes, actually. At least we're the more benign of the two.

Quote :: Page 67

Delcat: Hey boys and girls, one of the panels in this page was shooped! I bet you can't guess which one!
Delcat: "Potent Pussy Pleasure Potions" is like the shittiest band name ever.
Zeiss: OUR RELIGION EVOLVED FROM BAD R. CRUMB TRACINGS
Zeiss: Look out, Thorax is getting ready for her aria.
Zeiss: UNAAA VAGINAAAA LAGRIMAAAAAAAAA
Zeiss: NELL' FEMBOY SUOOO SPURTO
Zeiss: QUELLE MUFF MUNCHKIN GIOVANNIIIIIII
Delcat: You'd think they'd at least TRY to make it look like Eastern art.
Delcat: Or is it supposed to be an ANCIENT MS PAINT RELIGIOUS ILLUSTRATION
Zeiss: I like that one kid just holding onto that woman's nipples for dear life.
Zeiss: I can't tell if "Moonday" is a typo or not.
Delcat: He's doing that boneless tantrum thing some kids do. "I CAN'T GO TO THE STORE I DON'T HAVE ANY BONES WAAAAAH"
Delcat: only with eating pussy
Delcat: That one kid just flat-out pissed himself. Beautiful.
Zeiss: Women of today love their crazy cunnilingus parties!
Delcat: You'd think that these enlightened, powerful women wouldn't make FUCKING HIGH HEELS part of their new-world religion.
Zeiss: It's porn, Delly. They're probably grafted onto their feet.

Quote :: Page 68

Zeiss: IA IA FEMBOY PHTAG'N
Delcat: That is not dong which can eternal lie
And in strange eons even refractory periods may die
IA IA COCKTHULHU FTAGHN
Delcat: oh I see you're in the PH- school. HEATHEN.
Zeiss: THERE IS ONLY XUL
Zeiss: AND KINGU AND IAAZBUL
Delcat: It's not just her getting off on his tongue, it's a legion of perverts the world around.
Zeiss: AND XENU AND KREUHN KOHRMANN AND JOE
Delcat: She's having a Chick-tract head-bobble AND a Chick-tract head explosion.
Delcat: I cannot tell if they shooped him or if the art is just that shitty.
Zeiss: Perhaps this is the New Age terror that Chick was trying to warn us about?
Delcat: I'd believe it.
Zeiss: Honestly, I'm just waiting for "Joni" to try to sacrifice his cat to his teacher to appease Telly Savalas-as-Dropo.
Delcat: Don't you mean his PUSSY??
Zeiss: *badumtish*
Delcat: That's two for you and one for me. We'd better start rationing, man.

Quote :: Page HURR DURR

Delcat: Zeiss, have we officially entered a whole weird area?
Zeiss: Oh yes, we have.
Zeiss: Somewhere, Carl Sagan stirs.
Delcat: So, uh...I guess it's up to me to pick up the slack on this feminine carnality and see how it works, huh?
Zeiss: Yeah I guess.
Delcat: I wonder how I go about that. Do you think I have to fill in a form?
Zeiss: Just try and make sure that your ass doesn't like like the mouthparts of a tarantula and you'll be fine.
Delcat: I wish they hadn't gone with the crescent moon so we could do the "TWO FULL MOONS HURR HURR". But then, we are runnin' out of rimshots.
Delcat: Hm...I see a face, a bird, a butterfly, and a squid.
Delcat: The squid is hidden in the jizz pools, though.
Delcat: And it might actually be a jellyfish.
Zeiss: I see a stick figure, stuck upside down in a barrel, with a German WWI helmet floating above his head.
Delcat: Well, yeah, but that was obvious.
Zeiss: I have the feeling that this would sync up perfectly to Dark Side Of The Moon if it wasn't in textual format.
Delcat: We'll find a way, Zeiss...we'll find a way.

Quote :: Page 70

Zeiss: CAST IN THE NAME OF SPLORT, YE NOT GUILTY
Delcat: Tastes like licorice and sweet cucumber, smells like...well, like piss, and not GOOD piss either. Like bladder infection piss on top of asparagus piss. They're working on it.
Delcat: In Red Dwarf, one of the running jokes was that they had to live on urine recyc while they were separated from the main ship. Was that actually a beautiful metaphor for femininity?
Zeiss: Strange biochemical piss, femboy dolls sans pants, prayers to the thorax goddess, we're makin' Weird Science!
Delcat: FROM MY COCK AND IN MY HAND, WHY DON'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND
Zeiss: Y'know, this is probably the one thing we've done where the dong jokes take a backseat.
Delcat: Yeah, it's a new and frightening thing, really.
Zeiss: There really isn't a gynemocoligical equivalent of "dong"
Delcat: We should make one, by Juniper!
Zeiss: Knowing this manga, we'll find it on the next page.

Quote :: Page 71

Zeiss: Or not, but we see the 'MURICAN guys again, so that helps.
Zeiss: HYBRID FLUID EXCHANGE EXPERIMENTSSSSSS
Delcat: This manga is for a highly evolved race of super-termites. It's not FOR us.
Delcat: So why the hell are we still reading it?
Zeiss: He'll be spendin' most of his life livin' in a femboy paradise.
Delcat: Hey, they're emitting popcorn. Are we back in Nippon Heroine 3?
Zeiss: A highly evolved race of super termites could chew through this book faster than we could, I know that much.
Delcat: You know, Amazon is working on that bug thing to better their ads. Wal-Mart would've jumped on the idea, but it's not like Wal-Mart customers read.
Delcat: I hear they trried mini-cams in Snuggies, but no living creature on Earth wants to see the results from THAT one.
Zeiss: So they can't jack off because bugs ate their porn? Is that it?
Zeiss: Kid's got scars from blushing too much.
Delcat: I guess so. And drank their booze. Take that, those who would oppress our tequila-worm brethren!
Zeiss: Oh hell, this calls for an emergency Ween injection.

Subject: We're back! Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:43 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
BUT ALL IS NOT WELL IN FEMBOY TOWN
THOSE RENEGADE BALLS ARE MAKING US FROWN

Zeiss Manifold: LAST TIME on FEMBOY SCHOOL: STUFF HAPPENED and there were WORDS

Quote :: Page 72

InkWeaver: good god are we that far in
Zeiss Manifold: PINKO FAG BITCH LOVER
Zeiss Manifold: Where do these kids pick up this stuff? I've never seen them read.
Delcat: Actually, I just finished studying about eunuchs in history. It's not like people think--they were able to fuck as many women as they wanted because their nuts were cut off and they couldn't impregnate them. Dunno how it worked, exactly, but not a bad deal.
InkWeaver: NO VOICES WANT ME IN ADULT FRIEND FINDER AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE SHE'S COMING FROM
Zeiss Manifold: "N' when they got bored of ya they'd cut off of your LEEEEETLE NUTS and eat 'em!"
Delcat: Although actually, sheep are castrated by having their vas deferens bitten off in some areas because it's faster. I saw it on Dirty Jobs. So we're kind of even for accuracy.
Delcat: Note me very carefully avoiding the actual topic at hand. I think I de-de-sensitized over my hiatus. This is painful.
Zeiss Manifold: Um...flying saucers?
Delcat: I meant this page.
InkWeaver: DEATH BY SNOO SNOO
InkWeaver: "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."
Delcat: You have to take it a page at a time or you start drinking.
Delcat: What is Panel 4? An elevator? A stripper's pole? A ping-pong table seen from above?
Zeiss Manifold: "Russell Meyer presents B.I.T.C.H.ES: They're half woman, half-bug, and all business.

Quote :: Page 73

Zeiss Manifold: AAAAAND GUESS WHERE THIS IS HEADED
InkWeaver: He's gonna have sex with both of them?
InkWeaver: Wait, no, they're going to rip him open and devour his innards. That's what the emphasized "hungry" is for.
Delcat: yeah sorry for a moment there I thought there was a coherent plot, I must be hallucinating
Delcat: "I REALLY NEED YOUR VAGINA TO HUG MY PENIS"

Quote :: Page 74

Delcat: we did this one already
Delcat: didn't we?
Zeiss Manifold: I don't think so.
InkWeaver: I love how he's blushing sensuously as he says "Big and fat with their NUTS CUT OFF"
InkWeaver: "Teeheeheehee"
Delcat: oh fuck I started on page 74 for some reason
Delcat: I must sound either drunk or insane
Delcat: so I am going to continue to comment in this fashion
Delcat: AND LOOK AT PANEL 10, THOSE VAGINAS LOOK LIKE THE HORSEHEAD NEBULA
InkWeaver: ...riiiiiight.
Zeiss Manifold: Once, there was this kid who
Got quite a little bit incestuous on the commune
And when he came back from school
He saw two giant pairs of breasts at his door
He couldn't quite explain why he thought they would castraaaaaaaaaate him
Zeiss Manifold:
HMMMM HMMM HMMM HMMM
HMMMM HMMM HMMM HMMM SPLORT
InkWeaver: I'm afraid of your song lyrics.
Delcat: But both girl and femboy were glad
That one kid had it worse than that
Delcat: 'Cause then there was this boy who
Knew about this secret club that went on in his school
And when he went to that club
Each girl had dicks all over their bodies
They couldn't quite explain that they'd always just waaaaaaaaaaanked theeeeeem
Delcat: MMMMMM MMMMMMM MMMMMMM MMMMMMMM
Delcat: MMMMMM MMMMMMM MMMMMMM MMMMMMMM ONO

Quote :: Page 75

Delcat: TH' GUMMNT
Delcat: Have we progressed to wooden-apple stage offscreen or something?
Zeiss Manifold: So Mr. Roboto...has a secret?
Delcat: He's been hiding, under his rubber skin?
InkWeaver: You guys remember those suits they sold so men could tuck their penises into the inner pocket and look like a woman?
InkWeaver: Femskins or somethign?
Delcat: His vag is female, his tits are floppy
Zeiss Manifold: His clit's on a stem
Delcat: No, I doWAIT YES I DO I BLOCKED IT OUT ARGH
Delcat: So this is the feminine version?
Zeiss Manifold: Making sure that women won't bite his balls off and make him a robot sounds like a serial killer's motivation, not a femboy's . Are you sure we haven't walked into some weird feminist version the Gacy story?
Delcat: Nah, man, it was Albert Fish that ate the testicles off little boys.
InkWeaver: I... I don't want to talk about this anymore, guys.
Delcat: If she starts asking the kid to spank her with a paint stirrer, I am so calling the FBI.
Zeiss Manifold: For a moment I wondered if that was a Darren Shan character.
Delcat: No, if that was the case, he'd be named Albert Nutmuncher.

Quote :: Page 76

Zeiss Manifold: Suddenly, ISSUES
Delcat: Mikey, no! Wait, Mikey? Yes!
Zeiss Manifold: Well, it only figures.
Delcat: I think they took one look at Mikey and sent him to the House of Pain for re-education.
InkWeaver: With his eyelids taped open and everything? Yeesh.
InkWeaver: Figures, what with... *whisper* his mircropeen.
Zeiss Manifold: If we *pretend* we know what's going on, this is actually quite thrilling!
Delcat: And OTHER orifices.
Delcat: *whisper* It's so sad, isn't it?
Delcat: They decided to just turn him into a coffee table.

Quote :: Page 77

Delcat: "It's pitch dark out there! You may be eaten by a grue!"
Zeiss Manifold: It's like someone's rapidly fiddling with their dialect-slider.
InkWeaver: "Grrruuuuuuuuuuuue..." "Hit it with everything you've got, but don't hit the shell!"
Delcat: STOOPID FEMBOYS! Vhere are mates?! Vhere are chiiiicks?!
Zeiss Manifold: So...I think Jack is the PINKO FAG BITCH LOVER guy, but it's hard to keep track.
InkWeaver: Derf, I'm gonna call him Jackoff.
Delcat: I'm gonna call them Boycunt 1, Boycunt 2, and Boycunt 3.
Zeiss Manifold: It is decided, then. Let's see what Jackoff gets up to next!

Quote :: Page 78

Delcat: Because if the FBI is gonna investigate me over this, I might as well go whole hog.
Delcat: oh God that face. Zeiss hide it from me.
Zeiss Manifold: Someone just needs to adjust his antennae, and he'll be fine.
InkWeaver: To be honest with you, Jack's not talking completely crazy here.
Zeiss Manifold: You've got a point. Of course, soon we'll see how SPESHUL the feminoids are, so it's a moot one.
Delcat: Yeah, he senses which way the wind is blowing, and that salt in the breeze is NOT from the sea.
Delcat: YOU SEE GUYS, GEORGE DUBYA
Delcat: SEE? IT IS A DEEP POLITICAL COMMENT
InkWeaver: VERY deep.
Zeiss Manifold: MUCH LIKE HOW SOMEONE IS PERPETUALLY SMACKING JONI IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A 2X4
InkWeaver: BA DUM TISH

Oh God yes.

Fapmaster Join date : 2009-06-10

Deleted. Try changing the name to something inconspicuous and re-upping, because this sounds hilarious.

saeku wrote:: Deleted. Try changing the name to something inconspicuous and re-upping, because this sounds hilarious.

That's only the first three chapters, which were hosted on Imageshack and have been linked to in .ZIP form in the OP. We've since switched to Imagevenue, which is friendlier with this sort of thing.

Fapmaster Join date : 2009-06-10

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

saeku wrote:: Deleted. Try changing the name to something inconspicuous and re-upping, because this sounds hilarious.

That's only the first three chapters, which were hosted on Imageshack and have been linked to in .ZIP form in the OP. We've since switched to Imagevenue, which is friendlier with this sort of thing.

I was talking about the zip, which got deleted.

saeku wrote:: I was talking about the zip, which got deleted.

Re-upped, and should work now.

I'll get set on replacing the image links in due time.

» STEPHENIE MEYER: the woman, the artist, the journey, THE COMIC. Inky, Zeiss, and Smacula take a trip through Smeyer's life!
» "Drink my magical sperm and you will go back in time": Zeiss and Del take down Anal Fantasy in the big Snark-a-Thon finale
» School Trip is Compulsory, Everyone Flips Out
» Wattpad.com, or "I'm a Vampire Princess...and I'm going to an all-boys school!"
» Green With Envy: A fic filled with RAAAAAAAAAAAGE from Inky's early days