It's The Most Wonderful Time Of...*BOOM*

It's that time again, everyone! As the radio stations switch to 24-hour holiday music, and as the stores go wall-to-wall with the 9,540th recording of "Jingle Bell Rock", post what holiday music is more likely to make you turn into an utter Grinch.

For me it's:

The Christmas Shoes - For a relatively recent Christmas song, this one gets under my skin like no other. It's beyond glurge...it's like glurge doused in strawberry syrup and then rolled in raw sugar before it's shoved down your throat.

Little Saint Nick (Hanson cover only) - No. Just no. Hanson, you are NOT the Beach Boys. The Beach Boys made it work. You made it into a trainwreck.

That Slade one. The one where he goes IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHIIIIRSTMAS! Makes me want to stab.

I hate Christmas carols in general, especially The Christmas Shoes (mostly because the message of the song makes me retch). The only traditional one I can stand is the Carol of the Bells.

... Ikea in Stockholm starts spitting Christmas songs through their speakers in September. Yeah. Makes you wanna stab something.

There are only a few Christmas songs I like - most of it just sounds like any old generic schlock with some extra seasonal words tacked on here and there - like a lyrical equivalent of Pin The Tail On The Donkey.

ZoZo wrote:

That Slade one. The one where he goes IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHIIIIRSTMAS! Makes me want to stab.

Why yes, I am a bastard, thank you for noticing.

frostflowers wrote:

... Ikea in Stockholm starts spitting Christmas songs through their speakers in September. Yeah. Makes you wanna stab something.

There are only a few Christmas songs I like - most of it just sounds like any old generic schlock with some extra seasonal words tacked on here and there - like a lyrical equivalent of Pin The Tail On The Donkey.

Thank for Ikea by the way! It made my Christmas shopping much easier.

...On topic:

I can beat you all. Know how? I work at a salon in the mall. Do you know what my mall thought would be a treat for the shoppers? Costumed carolers.

There are carolers walking around singing. On top of the holiday music.

I will kill before this season is over.

Lapin wrote:

I can beat you all.

Costumed carolers.

There are carolers walking around singing. On top of the holiday music.

Sorry, but I can beat that. Electric faux-Victorian barrel organs which play two songs each on a permanent loop. And they stay in the same place all day right outside the shop I work in.
Not that summer's any better with the one-man-band and banjo playing pearly king.

Only Christmas Carol I can stand?

Spoiler:

On the Chanukah end of things, I fucking loathe the Dreidel Song, mostly because it was always the token Chanukah song in the school holiday concert when I was a little kid.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Also, I agree with Spotts. Nobody but the Beach Boys are allowed to play 'Little Saint Nick.'

I'm rather partial to the cover the Muppets did, but that may be the nostalgia talking.

Okay, how come my spellcheck recognizes "Chanukah's," but not "Chanukah?" It's not like the possessive is widely used.

Don't. Fucking. Get. Me. Started.

Ahem.

It should be noted that the term "carol" refers to only traditional Christmas songs like "O Holy Night" and "O Little Town of Bethlehem", not modern secular Christmas songs.

Carry on.

I hate "Sleigh Ride"... probably because I suck at playing it on the clarinet.

Holiday ClusterF*ck!!

Spoiler:

Antidote: The Twelve Days of Christmas, Irish Style, by Frank Kelly:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I'M A BROKEN MAN!

Slade's song, along with Chris Rhea's Home for Christmas, are the only two I can stand to hear more than once.

The rest make me want to stab someone. And that is without having ever been subjected to Christmas Shoes, for which I am very, very thankful.

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells.

Most other songs I can live with.

grmblfjx wrote:

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells.

Most other songs I can live with.

I just saw a bulletin that had a drawing of Santa with jet engines on the side of his sleigh. With nuts and bolts flying out of the exhaust.

"Jingle bolts, jingle bolts, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a FODless F-15."

It doesn't rhyme. It doesn't even make sense in the context of the picture.

grmblfjx wrote:

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells.

Most other songs I can live with.

This is just for you, my darling Grmbl:



Me, I don't mind Christmas-songs too much, but, besides my general lack of taste, this might also have to do with the fact that we're not pelted to death with all kinds of horrible carols as soon as the 1st of November rolls around.
My tolerance exempts Last Christmas, by the way.

Wah! Basshunter! That dude needs to either stop making music or go die in a fire.

He has had quite enough Swedish media attention to last him a lifetime, thank you very much. Everything he churns out is mediocre crap at best, ear-burning shit at worst, and he is so arrogant at any time he turns up in the papers or on TV that it makes me want to slap him.

I mean, he even used the good old "They're just jealous!" excuse when dismissing his critics in the last interview I came across.

... and that is officially one of the worst versions of Jingle Bells I've ever come across.

/rant.

grmblfjx wrote:

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells.

Most other songs I can live with.

The only version of Jingle Bells I can stand is Jimmy Buffett's. Unfortunately I couldn't find a Youtube link. If anyone has better luck, let me know.