MorningSquirts.com

Mythandariel wrote:

You're satirizing the mass suicide in Jonestown?

You sir, are sick.

Why don't you just go ahead and give him what he wants you goddamn idiot.

Mythandariel wrote:

You're satirizing the mass suicide in Jonestown?

You sir, are sick.

Didn't you link that one in your first post?

InkWeaver wrote:

Mythandariel wrote:

You're satirizing the mass suicide in Jonestown?

You sir, are sick.

Didn't you link that one in your first post?

Yes, she did.

Picard is disappointed that you say you're 80% him. He has the balls to stick to his guns, has dignity, and isn't boring.

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slimredninja wrote:

Here's a couple for you guys to heap praise on. *insert crap here*

Wow. You seriously, seriously compared yourself to Led Zeppelin, then you post this shit?

Man. You've jammed your own feet so far into your mouth, I can see your toes poking out of your asshole.

Nihilist wrote:

I hear Salvador Dali doing barrel rolls in his grave and vomiting noisily.

\

He loves us

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Mythandariel wrote:

You're satirizing the mass suicide in Jonestown?

You sir, are sick.

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while.

Nihilist wrote:

Picard is disappointed that you say you're 80% him. He has the balls to stick to his guns, has dignity, and isn't boring.

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I would argue the fact that this thread on a obscure sub forum hitting its 12th page since I showed up yesterday proves otherwise. Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

slimredninja wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Picard is disappointed that you say you're 80% him. He has the balls to stick to his guns, has dignity, and isn't boring.

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I would argue the fact that this thread on a obscure sub forum hitting its 12th page since I showed up yesterday proves otherwise. Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

That was directed at Mythandariel, dumbass. The world doesn't revolve around you. Imagine that!

Sir, you are right. I would also enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse with your mouth.

WHY DO YOU KEEP USING PHOTOSHOP FILTERS

WHY

Nihilist wrote:

slimredninja wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Picard is disappointed that you say you're 80% him. He has the balls to stick to his guns, has dignity, and isn't boring.

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I would argue the fact that this thread on a obscure sub forum hitting its 12th page since I showed up yesterday proves otherwise. Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

That was directed at Mythandariel, dumbass. The world doesn't revolve around you. Imagine that!

No but this thread does. Any unquoted statements are assumed to have to do with me.

slimredninja wrote:

No but this thread does. Any unquoted statements are assumed to have to do with me.

Somebody has their head way too far up their ass.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

Sir, you are right. I would also enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse with your mouth.

I would lick your pussy.

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

theweirdkind wrote:

slimredninja wrote:

No but this thread does. Any unquoted statements are assumed to have to do with me.

Somebody has their head way too far up their ass.

My world revolves around his ass with a strength is inversely proportional to the square of the distance from it.

slimredninja wrote:

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

Sir, you are right. I would also enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse with your mouth.

I would lick your pussy.

Let's go.

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

9 pages in a couple of hours is pretty good and for the record I had longer threads under different names where people realized who I was and flocked to the threads. I was banned 8 times and perma banned 4 I also was listed as 2nd all time for gassed threads but they removed me from the list lest my legend grow. On cracked.com just mentioning my comic will get you banned. Some sites have banned me and then asked me to return just because they realized I was great for page views. I perdict if unbanned this thread will be the most popular thread this site has ever seen within 2 weeks (though probably much sooner) .

slimredninja wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

9 pages in a couple of hours is pretty good and for the record I had longer threads under different names where people realized who I was and flocked to the threads. I was banned 8 times and perma banned 4 I also was listed as 2nd all time for gassed threads but they removed me from the list lest my legend grow. On cracked.com just mentioning my comic will get you banned. Some sites have banned me and then asked me to return just because they realized I was great for page views. I perdict if unbanned this thread will be the most popular thread this site has ever seen within 2 weeks.

Yeah but that's not specific to you, it'd happen with any douche who shows up to defend their shitty art/comic/fanfiction if they keep coming back for more.

:circlefap:

slimredninja wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

9 pages in a couple of hours is pretty good

It was several days, you dumbfuck. I'm looking at it right now.

Quote :

and for the record I had longer threads under different names where people realized who I was and flocked to the threads.

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Yeah, you were obviously real popular. IIRC,you also posted in the webcomic thread and got told to fuck off.

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I was banned 8 times and perma banned 4

You paid $40 to get banned even though you knew it was going to happen. I repeat: You're a fucking moron.

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I also was listed as 2nd all time for gassed threads

No you weren't.

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lest my legend grow.

You were moved to the archive, assclown.

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On cracked.com just mentioning my comic will get you banned.

There's a reason for that. That doesn't make you legendary, just dumb as shit.

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Some sites have banned me and then asked me to return just because they realized I was great for page views.

lolno

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I perdict if unbanned this thread will be the most popular thread this site has ever seen within 2 weeks.

Wrong again, shitmongler. You're not healthcare.

Now don't you have some sweet imaginary pussy to get is defending your e-honor enough for you to whack off to.

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lolololololol

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

slimredninja wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

9 pages in a couple of hours is pretty good and for the record I had longer threads under different names where people realized who I was and flocked to the threads. I was banned 8 times and perma banned 4 I also was listed as 2nd all time for gassed threads but they removed me from the list lest my legend grow. On cracked.com just mentioning my comic will get you banned. Some sites have banned me and then asked me to return just because they realized I was great for page views. I perdict if unbanned this thread will be the most popular thread this site has ever seen within 2 weeks.

Yeah but that's not specific to you, it'd happen with any douche who shows up to defend their shitty art/comic/fanfiction if they keep coming back for more.

:circlefap:

LOL you can go to any forum where artists talk about their web comics in some art thread and people will attack them and they will defend themselves and yet the thread will only have a few back and forths and be lucky to hit a second page. I invoke emotion and people love the show as no matter how many pile on I give as good as I get. Plus they get to see sweet comics that they secretly love but can't admit to lest they be ostracized my the cool kid clique.

slimredninja wrote:

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

slimredninja wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

Don't think its unique to here I always have the hottest threads I'm an interesting motherfucker.

Your thread on SA was 9 pages. OOOH HOT THREAD ALERT

9 pages in a couple of hours is pretty good and for the record I had longer threads under different names where people realized who I was and flocked to the threads. I was banned 8 times and perma banned 4 I also was listed as 2nd all time for gassed threads but they removed me from the list lest my legend grow. On cracked.com just mentioning my comic will get you banned. Some sites have banned me and then asked me to return just because they realized I was great for page views. I perdict if unbanned this thread will be the most popular thread this site has ever seen within 2 weeks.

Yeah but that's not specific to you, it'd happen with any douche who shows up to defend their shitty art/comic/fanfiction if they keep coming back for more.

:circlefap:

LOL you can go to any forum where artists talk about their web comics in some art thread and people will attack them and they will defend themselves and yet the thread will only have a few back and forths and be lucky to hit a second page. I invoke emotion and people love the show as no matter how many pile on I give as good as I get. Plus they get to see sweet comics that they secretly love but can't admit to lest they be ostracized my the cool kid clique.

You seriously can't think that.

Lowtax wrote:

From: Daniel mehlhorn [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Sent: Saturday, September 19, 2009 5:42 PM
To: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Subject: An appeal for leniency & hoping to bring this to your attention

I have a problem and I'm hoping you can help me with it I'm sure your first impulse is to stop reading immediately but please hear me out. My account Slimredninja was put probation for 3 days and then permabanned for the following posts. Now while I can appreciate that I had previous bans my conduct after returning from my last ban was exemplary. I was never even so much as rude little alone hostile. I didn't post a Goatse or any of the other sick shit that you guys don't even put people on probation for. No offense but if you read this I don't think you can honestly say I did anything to warrant a permaban. You claim in your rules that its hard to be permabanned and then you permaban me for this of all things? I actually believe that as people realize this is the thread I was banned for that it will tarnish SA's reputation. I really like your site and I had a very popular thread in BYOB even in that thread everyone was getting along well and having fun as of late. To be quite honest I would love a thread on the main boards I assure you it would be the most popular thread in the history of SA if given half a chance (LOL UR DUM). My threads reach insane numbers quickly (LOLWUT) because I try to engage all the funny posters with wit and sarcasm instead of the generally more common "your shit" " or "your a fucktard" rehetoric thats the norm on SA. I would also like for you to be the mod (THIS IS LOWTAX) so I couldn't be banned for BS like this. Maybe you could bring me back as a creator of SA challenge (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT) and if my thread doesn't get 10k page views and 1k posts every week then my permaban could kick in. I would be willing to put up a permanent link on my site to yours. this link would continue even after I'm gone from SA you have my word. Now while I know my current 10-35k a day is a drop in the bucket to you we have only been around a few months and seem to be growing fast. I would also be willing to put up $50 in advance and if I fail you keep it. I think you would be amazed at the numbers a thread of mine would do on the front page if I wasn't getting banned all the time. If you are shaking your head right now saying no "F"ing way I would settlle for you just unpermabanning me. Here is a link to this thread or I copied and pasted it all for you as well. Please at least give me the common decency of letting me know the reason I was allowed back and then banned for no reason and then permabanned while on probation. If this was just over zealousness on the part of a mod np I understand but at least let me earn my permaban.

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MY 1st post as slimredninja in the drabbles write a 100 word story thread

I stand here grasping our silken wedding sheet and I can smell you. It holds so many memories. I grip it pulling it tighter against my skin. This old chest holds our lifetime. Its strong and firm the smooth wood feels good beneath my bare feet. I kick away our lifetime and our memories tighten and soon we will be together once more.

EPOCHS response:

Number of words: 63.

SLIMREDNINJA response:

I thought less was better sorry I will lengthen it and try again.

I stand here hollow grasping our silken wedding sheet and I can smell you. It holds so many memories for me. I grip it pulling it tighter against my skin its cool and impossibly smooth to the touch. This old iron bound wooden chest holds our lifetime. Its solid and the smooth wood time worn feels comforting beneath my bare feet. A final sweet taste of life. Is this how it went for you? I kick away our lifetime and our memories tighten hard upon my neck and soon this attic stanza will end and will be together once more.

Slimredninja posted:


I stand here hollowcomma grasping our silkenwrong wedding sheetcomma and I can smell you.What exactly is this sheet supposed to be? People do not keep sheets from their wedding, since they're usually hotel sheets ... . It holds so many memories for me.Unnecessary, repetitive even, given the context. It would be better to have the character remember something than say 'I remember poo poo.' I grip itsemicolon pulling it tighter against my skinperiod. Itsapostrophe s! cool and impossibly smooth to the touch. This old iron bound wooden chestclumsy; should be iron-bound, but that's still clumsy and overdescriptive holds our lifetime. Itsapostrophe s, what the gently caress is wrong with you solid and the smooth wood time-worn wood (moved) feels comforting beneath my bare feet. A final sweet taste of life. Is this how it went for you? I kick away our lifetime and our memories tighten hard upon my neck and soon this attic stanza will end and wewill be together once more.


EPOCH's reponse:
This is loving terrible. I mean that. And no, it's not because of who you are.

Missing commas, missing apostrophes, run-on sentences, trite, cliche descriptions, all wrapped up in a thin layer of unnecessary vagueness, just as if it was written with the express purpose of pissing me off.

Stick to drawing pictures of the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man jizzing on dead japanese children.

slimredninja:

Actually it was better with less words I tried to lengthen it to fast to please you and yes I'm afraid my grammar and punctuation are atrocious. Thank you for your fair and honest critique. I'm 100% sure I will try again.


EPOCHS response:




Slimredninja posted:


Actually it was better with less words I tried to lengthen it to fast to please you and yes I'm afraid my grammar and punctuation are atrocious. Thank you for your fair and honest critique. I'm 100% sure I will try again.



I don't think you're ready for an exercise such as this. Write something without constraints, like a 500-1000 word short story, then post it as its own thread. What is your intention here? Why are you writing? What is your goal?


SLIMREDNINJA RESPONSE:

I awaken in blackness not sure where I am. I feel like I'm falling. Where am I? My ears hurt and its freezing there is water everywhere. The blackness reveals nothing greedily devouring my vision. A hard jolt, I have struck something my decent has ended I'm thrown about and realize I'm in a box. No wait something bigger then a box I grip a steering wheel. Oh my god, I remember. I was driving across the Mackinaw bridge when a fierce wind swept me over the side. The fall knocked me unconscious and the car sunk. I'm at the bottom.


MY RESPONSE TO ANOTHER POSTERS ADVICE




Benson Cunningham posted::


I think I know how epoch felt when he read the first thing I posted now, or anything I posted really. You are doing this stream of consciousness thing, which has been done to death already, very poorly. You have only 100 words yet you repeat the same thoughts over and over. Try a simple third person perspective of the same event. Tell the story from the vantage point of the car behind the one that goes over the bridge.


Here is my latest attempt:



Hmmm that does sound like good advice. I do write everything stream of conscious I pretty much make it up as I'm writing it.



MY RESPONSE TO ANOTHER PERSONS POST





Corvy Day posted:


I'm probably not the best person to tell you to proofread, having messed that one up in my thread, but it's like not you're not even trying.

It seemed to me like you had an idea and just furiously scribbled (typed) it down hoping to get comments - any comments - so you can do it again. You should put a bit more effort.



Again your right I'm always multitasking I will write one elsewhere and then post it here after serious editing. I really am making a serious attempt Epoch I can tell you are a stern task master but that's what I need. I hate to admit this I really do and I rarely do but I have mild dyslexia and often transpose letters and a few words. Some words I mess up on constantly which is embarrassing. If I spend more time on it I'm sure I can improve my skills.


EPOCHS RESPONSE

I truthfully cannot tell if you're trolling or not, so I'm leaving it up to the mods to decide.


SLIMREDNINJAS RESPONSE



epoch. posted:


I truthfully cannot tell if you're trolling or not, so I'm leaving it up to the mods to decide.



I assure you I'm not but if my posting here is upsetting to you I will stop. Since that was certainly not my intention. I tend to only be an rear end in a top hat in relationship to morning squirtz I'm generally a pretty nice guy.


SLIMREDNINJA




Slimredninja posted:


I assure you I'm not but if my posting here is upsetting to you I will stop.



From one nice guy to another: You have atrocious taste, lack any modicum of tact, and your grammatical skills are that of a child's. What purpose do you have for writing half-assed unedited garbage? This is not a rhetorical question; do you have some grand dream of writing as a career? Because I will tell you this right now: it will never happen. Not without going back to school to learn how to write, then writing on your own for several years. What is your goal?

This, this is why I think you're just trolling.


MY FINAL RESPONSE AND A DIRECT ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS SHE ASKED AND THE REASON FOR MY PROBABTION AND MY PERMA BAN!!!!!!





epoch. posted:


From one nice guy to another: You have atrocious taste, lack any modicum of tact, and your grammatical skills are that of a child's. What purpose do you have for writing half-assed unedited garbage? This is not a rhetorical question; do you have some grand dream of writing as a career? Because I will tell you this right now: it will never happen. Not without going back to school to learn how to write, then writing on your own for several years. What is your goal?

This, this is why I think you're just trolling.



Again I realize I have grammatical and punctuation problems but that's what microsoft word and editors are for. I tend to believe originality is tantamount to good writing. I can turn a phrase and I have a great vocabulary. What I need more then anything is practice & critiques which unfortunately I get very little of. I write things other then Morning Squirtz. My more serious comics rely on my writing skills which I realize need work.My comic Slim Red Ninja just won 1st place & $300 over on Comicracy a comic contest website. I have another comic called Hypertide which like wise relies on my writing. Luckily for me comics can be cliche and get away with it. I wont post a link to them but if you are interested I'm sure they wont be to hard to find. I see from the earlier posts that I caused your thread to descend into anarchy and I apologize that was not my intent. I wont post here again unless you say its ok so this maybe my last post if so I bid you adieu.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

CRY SUM MORE

Okay, if the cool kid clique doesn't like your comics, but the only people out there are people who DON'T LIKE YOUR COMICS, doesn't it make it less of a clique and more of a majority?

Sorry, that's probably too intelligent for you.

Biggest thread we've ever have? Have you seen our pages? We have short attention spans. Pretty soon, a new lolcow will be offended, show up, and we'll all go play with the shiny new toy. You'll be dropped off in the Goodwill box and forgotten about within a day or two.

Actually, this has started to really bore me. You don't have any fun responses, and all you do is link to your awful comic.

I think I'm going to go fish LJ and DA for a new toy. A shinier toy that lights up.

Quote :

Hi derryck love your posts bro and I really love that 100% admitted he likes your stuff better then mine. What that shows is that even though you try to post the most outrageous pic you can find you will NEVER be as offensive as me.

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My only thread there was gassed do you have the balls to post somewhere your thread could be gassed? (WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING) personally I'm second all time in gassed threads and I have only been here a short time. Your an unfunny one trick pony. (wow I just thought of a new morning squirtz. A 6 tricks a day pony and have him done up like a hooker. (OH GOD THE IRONY) Thanks for the inspiration Derryck you and your dads asshole have now officially been a part of something interesting)

Quote :

I'm starting to respect you more as a poster 100%. Derryck I would love to continue this battle of the minds all day but since your an unarmed opponent (OH GOD THE UNFUNNY) its really just to easy and my girlfriend said I couldn't waste my day on the internet again so I will be leaving you. To the rest of you if you really want to annoy the shit out of Derryck keep this thread hopping. I know I know you guys don't want me to go but I have to. Don't worry though when I get back later I will bump my cool threads and we will have a grand old time.

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Even Ebaum'sworld doesn't think you're funny.

Quote :

I have been on this site for a total of about 8 actual hours and have received a 3 day probation and 2 outright bans. Whats the record for most bans? Does anyone know?
It seems my comic Morning Squirtz is to controversial for most of SA. I will dwell here and bring the rest of SA here. Is this place actually mod proof? Can pipes still get me here?

Protip: A shit ton more than that.

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I don't think anyone at CC is capable of laughter.

You can't take a hint, can you.

EDIT: OH GOD YES COMBINE THIS WITH THE LOWTAX AND IT'S COMEDY GOLD

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Oh you mean because I didn't linger & cry on the other thread until pipes permabanned me? No thanks if I go out it will be on my terms having a blast.

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you mean because I didn't linger & cry on the other thread

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I didn't linger & cry

Edit edit: For someone who claims to have been permabanned multiple times, he only shows up once in the list of banned users and he only made 3 threads all of which were less than a page long aside from the 9 page one.

NM found his second account. Only two though.

Mafiosa I'm really flattered at the time you must be spending digging all that stuff up. I feel like your pulling my pigtails right now. Someday I will make you my personal biographer.