MorningSquirts.com

hey slim i notice you haven't denied what i said about you and your girlfriend

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I told you I don't lie Mafi

Except for this entire fucking thread where you did.

It's amazing, you have no positive personality traits or desirable qualities except that with your lifestyle you'll die quick.

Why is Starbucks Chai tea so weaaaaak

Dude, even if you were super hot and had a Ford model for a girlfriend and wiped your ass with $100 bills, that wouldn't make your comics any better. Your life, as is, doesn't make your comics any worse, either. A lot of famous artists and writers are batshit insane or terrible people or utterly pathetic. The trade attracts its fair share of alcoholics and unrequited love addicts. Who cares? Work speaks for itself. You don't have to make any excuses for your personal life.

I'm not going to be a petty bitch and tell you that you're totally untalented. You're not. But with some structured training you could drastically improve. I'm guessing you're self-taught? Even if you're not, you can tell that beneath the distractions you have fundamental issues with anatomy and perspective. You would really benefit by taking classes and learning the basics from scratch and then applying your self-taught skills. I guarantee that if you leave yourself open for instruction and are willing to take life drawing classes and do a couple of still lives and studies of 3D objects, your art would truly take off. You have all the other stuff, you just need to build a better foundation for it to stand on.

Can you make money and gain notoriety by doing it this way? Sure you can. You already have. But the question you should be asking yourself is, "Is this the best I can do?" If you're willing to open yourself up to improvement you can really change the quality of your work and reach your full potential.

For example, this is a webcomic that I consider really superior. The humor is often really dirty or disturbing, but cleverly executed. The art style varies from comic to comic but is always very good quality. Look at the following examples of some of my favorites and some that I think are more relatable to your work:

Spoiler:

I think this comic is accomplishing a lot of the things you talked about. You mentioned a varied mediums, off-color humor, and stylization. You can see that the artist has a firm foundation in art. Even when the subject matter are oversimplified white blob men, they still look proportional and portray the movement/emotion required of them. The layout of each panel has a visual hierarchy. Materials and computer colorings are tastefully applied. Color is taken into consideration. Line weight is used advantageously.

I hope you take this into consideration instead of just writing this off and letting your ego shoot down the idea that you could stand to improve. You're only damaging yourself by doing that.

Narwhal wrote:

Dude, even if you were super hot and had a Ford model for a girlfriend and wiped your ass with $100 bills, that wouldn't make your comics any better. Your life, as is, doesn't make your comics any worse, either. A lot of famous artists and writers are batshit insane or terrible people or utterly pathetic. The trade attracts its fair share of alcoholics and unrequited love addicts. Who cares? Work speaks for itself. You don't have to make any excuses for your personal life.

I'm not going to be a petty bitch and tell you that you're totally untalented. You're not. But with some structured training you could drastically improve. I'm guessing you're self-taught? Even if you're not, you can tell that beneath the distractions you have fundamental issues with anatomy and perspective. You would really benefit by taking classes and learning the basics from scratch and then applying your self-taught skills. I guarantee that if you leave yourself open for instruction and are willing to take life drawing classes and do a couple of still lives and studies of 3D objects, your art would truly take off. You have all the other stuff, you just need to build a better foundation for it to stand on.

Can you make money and gain notoriety by doing it this way? Sure you can. You already have. But the question you should be asking yourself is, "Is this the best I can do?" If you're willing to open yourself up to improvement you can really change the quality of your work and reach your full potential.

For example, this is a webcomic that I consider really superior. The humor is often really dirty or disturbing, but cleverly executed. The art style varies from comic to comic but is always very good quality. Look at the following examples of some of my favorites and some that I think are more relatable to your work:

Spoiler:

I think this comic is accomplishing a lot of the things you talked about. You mentioned a varied mediums, off-color humor, and stylization. You can see that the artist has a firm foundation in art. Even when the subject matter are oversimplified white blob men, they still look proportional and portray the movement/emotion required of them. The layout of each panel has a visual hierarchy. Materials and computer colorings are tastefully applied. Color is taken into consideration. Line weight is used advantageously.

I hope you take this into consideration instead of just writing this off and letting your ego shoot down the idea that you could stand to improve. You're only damaging yourself by doing that.

I love PBF and I respect your critique tremendously the terrible truth is the guy who posts here the most is the writer so while I appreciate your art critiques and share them with the artists (actually Barandon is on about 20% of the time and sees them) I can barely draw a doodle. Morning Squirtz consists of 8 different artists and one writer (although 5 have been written by other people 2 by Brandon and 2 by Kelly Furgenson of Basketcase and 1 by my son). Over half are actual professional artists. Dawn Griffen who drew the one above has a degree in commercial art and does it for a living she also illustrates a series of children books. William Messner Loebs is an comic industry vet. Brandon Clark works freelance for lots of different companies. While I am knowledgeable about art I'm more of a writer/promotional guy. I just like fucking with people who flame the comic.

Yes, you're the writer, but you can pass this critique on to your artists. And you know what, you can take lessons from the writing of PBF as well, because essentially, YOU are in charge of the jokes of this series -- which, as we have established, need improvement. So you, as the writer, can use that post for improvement as well. However, I can see you glossed right over that, just as I expected you would.

And you will gloss over this post too. =) Live up to my expectations, slim.

Brandon could probably be pretty good if he cut you loose.

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William Messner Loebs is an comic industry vet.

I can't find anything that suggests Loebs drew one of your comics aside from the fact you slapped his name on one.

Fun fact: If you google his name and "morningsquirtz" it comes up with a mere 2 pages of results. All from you.

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I just like fucking with people who flame the comic.

Flame=slapping you over the head with reality

Oh look it's you being stupid again.

That is such a terrible idea! You're working to promote the company but you're giving it a bad name by impersonating its owner and making him out to be a total arrogant douchebag?! What if somebody wanted to do collaborative work with your company? What if a professional publication that was considering publishing your work googled you guys and found this idiocy? What if potential employees saw this and were horrified at the idea of someone impersonating them and making them look like a total fool?

Do your coworkers know you're doing this? What if you land this guy his own encyclopediadramatica page?! You fuck with SomethingAwful they will fuck you back harder. You could literally RUIN his career! It'll be the first thing that pops up when people google his name if you carry on like this.

Since you're not responsible for the art, but for promoting the company itself I am free to tell you that you're a TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT AND YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT YOUR JOB. It would never even OCCUR to anyone with half a brain that earning the comic a rep of being self-obsessed, shitty, and pathetic is a good idea.

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I love PBF and I respect your critique tremendously the terrible truth is the guy who posts here the most is the writer

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While I am knowledgeable about art I'm more of a writer/promotional guy. I just like fucking with people who flame the comic.

So are you the writer, or the artist? Don't pile the blame on others when you've been doing what Narwhal said, and yes, it's bad publicity. People can google your name, and based on this infamy, they won't hire you. You're fucked, man.

Brandon Clark- er, Denny Crane.

I hope for the sake of his job that he's lying, because I'm e-mailing the owner of that website and letting him know what's going on. If it's him and he's lying, oh well. But if he does have some retarded employee who's running all over the internet making him look like a total fool? That's horrible! This idiot is causing horrible damage to a company that, despite not being to my taste, belongs to somebody who is putting money and effort into it.

EDIT: This site is so cluttered and poorly designed that I can't find a contact page or an e-mail address. Mae and I are working to find his contact information.

Narwhal wrote:

I hope for the sake of his job that he's lying, because I'm e-mailing the owner of that website and letting him know what's going on. If it's him and he's lying, oh well. But if he does have some retarded employee who's running all over the internet making him look like a total fool? That's horrible! This idiot is causing horrible damage to a company that, despite not being to my taste, belongs to somebody who is putting money and effort into it.

You should contact the artist on his deviantart

Also:

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I highly recommend reading the above. It's the webcomic thread's reaction to his shit.

Found his e-mail and I'm contacting him straight away.

Sooo, we are internet police now?

Sorsa A. Jänis wrote:

Sooo, we are internet police now?

It's about time we made the jump from INTERNET DETECTIVES to an entire police force.

YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON SORSA

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Sorsa A. Jänis wrote:

Sooo, we are internet police now?

Yes, we are. You, ducky, are charged with oozing cute all over the place and ruining the furniture again. Pink and glitter does not go well with orange.

Damn, we're quick - we went from "Gingerbread lattes are sooo tasty!" to "Bwhaha, let's ruin this guy!" in less than a page. o.O I don't know whether to be impressed or a little scared.

Anyway - are multiple persons using the slimredninja account, or is he just schizophrenic?

I'm not asking anybody else to be the police, I'm sending an e-mail of my own accord, speaking solely for myself. It's nice to be able to actually make people suffer the consequences for their own stupidity once in a while. If I noticed a cashier taking money out of the register and pocketing it I'd tell the manager of the store I was in. If I witnessed a hit-and-run I'd call the police and give them the license plate number.

This is a situation where somebody is being directly harmed by someone else's stupid actions. I'm more than happy to leave people to their own devices, but there's a line and this fool crossed it.

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What's interesting to me is that the writer and the "artist" have the same writing style in their posts. Calling bullshit, you're been the writer the entire time every where you post.

EDIT: HAHA WOW, EVEN PEOPLE WHO READ CAD HATE HIM

OH LOL

Me and Brandon created Morning Squirtz together and all of the other artists are friends and collaborators of ours. For the record I promote the site depending on the response from the forum I'm on. Here's a forum I'm posting on on another site notice how there are no histrionics? Mixing it up is actually quite good for page views.

Web traffic =/= fanbase, and let's see how great your strategy is when you land yourself an EncyclopediaDramatica page and people start calling/spamming your company and harassing the shit out of you. If you keep this behavior up it's bound to happen.

I'm still sending the e-mail to Brandon Clark in case this really is an employee trying to cover his ass or a very dedicated troll. And if it does turn out that Clark really is behind the slimredninja account? That's unbelievably pathetic and he can enjoy stewing in the mess he's created for himself.

[quote=\"slimredninja\"]Me and Brandon created Morning Squirtz together and all of the other artists are friends and collaborators of ours. For the record I promote the site depending on the response from the forum I\'m on. Here\'s a forum I\'m posting on on another site notice how there are no histrionics? Mixing it up is actually quite good for page views.[/quote]

OMG U GUISE PAGE VIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWS

You should post this on /b/ and /co/. But be sure to use a name or else they won\'t know it\'s really you.

They\'d LOVE this.

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OMG 200 OMG AMAZING PAGE VIEWS HURRRRRRR

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Five dollars in 2 months you guys. 5 dollars.

That's not even one SA membership.

Mafiosa wrote:

Sorsa A. Jänis wrote:

Sooo, we are internet police now?

It's about time we made the jump from INTERNET DETECTIVES to an entire police force.

YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON SORSA

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Can't help my nature.

Also I don't feel very slain yet. Maybe I have too thick skin.

Shisaiga wrote:

Sorsa A. Jänis wrote:

Sooo, we are internet police now?

Yes, we are. You, ducky, are charged with oozing cute all over the place and ruining the furniture again. Pink and glitter does not go well with orange.

DUN WANNA GO TO ANIMAL SHELTER!

E-mail sent. Let's hope for your sake that Brandon Clark really does know about and approve of your brilliant marketing strategy.

Now who wants to e-mail Hustler and let them know who they're hiring.

Is this who I think it is?

slimredninja wrote:

For the record I promote the site depending on the response from the forum I'm on.

That makes no sense. I can understand wanting clicks because you may have a Google Adsense account and can only make a nominal amount of money based on how many times the ad is displayed. So in a sense, you're making money off your page, but it's not for the work itself. Anyone can create a Google Adsense account. I know at one point the Site Guru did that to help offset server costs, but it didn't help much. So from that point of view, it's sad that you're counting on revenue from ads instead of letting your work stand alone.

There are also more professional ways to get your artwork/page more attention. You say you have a pretty epic job that diaper-wearers like me can only dream of. That must mean you make enough money to set aside to hire a web designer. There are some really amazing things one can do- as a real life portfolio, presentation is everything.

Here's a site of an artist whose art I wrote a paper on. Gary Baseman has all kinds of crazy, disturbing and nasty drawings that you'd love- but look at the design. It fits the art. Gary Baseman actually is the creator of the old Saturday morning kids' show Teacher's Pet.
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Slim, if you're good, and your presentation is good the pageviews will come on their own because people will find your work memorable. I used to whore for pageviews on DeviantArt years ago, because I thought that equalled fame. Then after a while, I stopped caring about pageviews and instead focused on improving.

I got 22k pageviews in little over a year as a result. I know it doesn't matter because it's DeviantArt, but 22k without even trying means that people are returning to look at your work. They want to see more. They see potential. Something about your work at that point is memorable- if you have to bother people to click your page then you should rethink your marketing model. Mimi is a user here and she has over a million pageviews- she's self-taught and works in mainstream comics. Her work is phenomenal to say the least. Her work speaks volumes about how awesome she is.

Maybe you should take a business night class instead of hanging out on here. It'll only take 3 hours of your time a week and you'll learn valuable information regarding how trends really work. Business classes, or knowing someone really knowledgeable in business and asking them for advice would do wonders for you as well.