Twilight: The Death of Feminism

'Twilight,' the love that dare not speak its shame

From the Washington Post today...dang, who'd the author bribe to publish this urple dribble?!

I'm just...baffled. For all the article claims that adult, mature women readers need not apologize for loving Twilight, that's all the article actually seems to be doing - excusing the "literary snobs who have been won over." Does anyone else get that impression?

The article just struck me as...well...kind of creepy.

Like Twilight itself.

Figures.

THAT ARTICLE DID NOT HAPPEN!

...This article actually smells liek acomeback, if you read the Post everyday like I do. When the first Twilight movie came out it received a less than favorable review. And a few snarky articles by the same reviewer. And new Moon did just as poorly in the reviewers eyes. (The book review)

Apparently, the person who wrote that article is a Twilight fan and did not like the bad reviews.

A butthurt fanbrat with a job in a newspaper, basically.

Trioculus wrote:

I have no urge to read those crappy books. I thank you for doing for me, Lysander, and both justifying my decision and brilliantly snarking the piss out of those things in the process.

I have to second this. Thanks, Lysander - I think you've come to the conclusion I'd be likely to. Thanks for your self-sacrifice, because I suspect it truly was one.

According to Morgan, someone stole the life-size Edward Cullen cling-on they had on the inside door at work. The movie just opened here tonight, and he said the place was full of squeeing fangirls after it let out.

Somewhere out there, some Twitard is sleeping the sleep of the just, watched over by a life-sized window cling of Edward Cullen. If that doesn't creep you out, nothing will.

Apparently, nobody wanted Jacob, since he's still there.

^ Let's hope it wasn't a Twi-mom. Imagine her poor husband, having to put up with Robert Pattison looming over the bed every night. Brr.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Apparently, nobody wanted Jacob, since he's still there.

That's because having Jacob watching while you sleep is even creepier than having Edward watch you sleep.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Apparently, nobody wanted Jacob, since he's still there.

All the chicks he'd go for couldn't be at the midnight screening. Past their bedtime.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Apparently, nobody wanted Jacob, since he's still there.

There was a newborn infant in a stroller who took a shine to it, but she couldn't reach or grasp it and her mother just thought she wanted feeding when she started crying for it.

Bad Narwhal, Bad Keith!

Though truthfully, I'm inclined to agree with you. :pedo:

The Pope Condemns New Moon...

Oh, rats. Curse the Pope for making me want to buy tickets to the movie, just on principle of opposing religious leaders who stick their nose in the entertainment industry.

Did His Haughtiness miss the abstinence message? I despise the series and I know about it! You'd think the Catholic church would love the message - spineless women, no sex before marriage, guilt-riddled self-stifling, what's not for the Vatican to love?!

Or is it just because the author is Mormon?

Jocelyn wrote:

The Pope Condemns New Moon...

Oh, rats. Curse the Pope for making me want to buy tickets to the movie, just on principle of opposing religious leaders who stick their nose in the entertainment industry.

Did His Haughtiness miss the abstinence message? I despise the series and I know about it! You'd think the Catholic church would love the message - spineless women, no sex before marriage, guilt-riddled self-stifling, what's not for the Vatican to love?!

Or is it just because the author is Mormon?

Nope, that would likely be because of the evil vampires, the Volturi (?), being modeled after the Catholic church, at least allegedly.

Here's what stoney321 (the person who did the Twilight Mormonism analyses/sendups on LJ) says about the topic:

Quote :

But let's get back to our Edward needing to drink the poison from his sweet love's lips, er, go to the VaticanVolterra, Italy and have the vampire Pope Volterri kill him.

See, turns out? There's an old group of vamps that live in Italy (ahem)
and they enforce the code of conduct that pass for the morals of their
world (ahem) and if Edward reveals that he's a vampire to the Italian
public, then they'll have to kill him for sparkling. THIS MAKES PERFECT
SENSE. Note: Mormons are very smug about Catholics. Because Catholics
have a made up authority to God. The Mormons are the REAL authority, so
they are quite amused that the Pope thinks he talks to Jesus. The
Mormons believe they aren't a branch off the Catholic church like
Protestants, they came up with, er, they were given the keys to
knowledge and truth separate from the Catholics. Which... the Cullens
took it upon themselves to not eat people and to be righteous and
moral, they didn't get the idea from the Volturri. I C WHUT U DID THAR,
SMEYERS.

Old Mormon joke: The Pope and the Prophet are hanging
out, and decide to call up Jesus. The Pope say, "I've got a phone at
the Vatican, we can call him there." The Prophet say, "No, no, I've got
his number and if we call from the temple, it's a local call." HAR HAR
DE HAR HAR. So naturally, the evil controlling vampires that aren't
good like the Cullens are Catholics. I mean, Italian.

New Moon Breaks Box Office Record.

:explode:

That's just depressing.

Curses. On one hand, I can't stand the previous record holder so I can't be that depressed. On the other hand... the record was broken by a Twilight movie. I wanted it to be broken, but not by THAT.

Snake Bandage wrote:

On the other hand... the record was broken by a Twilight movie. I wanted it to be broken, but not by THAT.

I had hopes that it would be broken by something good. So much for my trust in humanity.

I'm pretty sure Spoony has summed this up all miles better than any of us could.

Somath Cegem wrote:

I'm pretty sure Spoony has summed this up all miles better than any of us could.

I WANT TO SEE IT BUT EVERYBODY'S ASLEEP.

Ah, leave it to Spoony. I him.

He's got Planescape. *geekspazz* I am jealous.

MovieBob on The Escapist also has a good (and not-40-minutes-long) review of New Moon. It's too bad reviews won't dissuade Twitards.

Snake
Bandage wrote:

Curses. On one hand, I can't stand the previous record holder
so I can't be that depressed. On the other hand... the record was
broken by a Twilight movie. I wanted it to be broken, but not by
THAT.

Am I missing something or are you saying you can't stand The Dark Knight? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Ladies and gentlemen, The Bum.

I just watched the Bum Review - pretty funny. In other news:

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Apparently Robert Pattinson was getting bored with 10-second conversations while signing autographs, so when a fan asked him: "How can I get your attention?", he replied: "Just take your clothes off."

So she did. Until a security guard dragged her away.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

He should have known better. He knows how batshit insane the fans are. If they're crazy enough to ask him to bite them in the neck, they'll do anything.

Somath Cegem wrote:

Ladies and gentlemen, The Bum.

Every time I try to watch it, the video has major lag. :redangry:

EileenK98 wrote:

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He should have known better. He knows how batshit insane the fans are. If they're crazy enough to ask him to bite them in the neck, they'll do anything.

Everyone can say something trying to be a wiseass without thinking about the consequences, you know.