Hulk my protector, love and best friend.
This fic is pretty creepy! On the surface it is a typical sert hooks up with superhero sort of thing, but man is there some uncomfortable subtext.
- Quote :
- [the Hulk]saw a little girl scared out of her mind. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her hands were over her ears. Hulk breathed heavy before he felt her eyes on him. He looked down at her. Her sparkling golden eyes shined in dark.
“Are the bad men gone?” she asked in small voice
Ah, nothin' like paedo vibes in my Hulk fic.
OK, so, this fic starts out with Hulk beating up some generic thugs who decided to attack him because life just was not worth living anymore, I guess. The thugs attack him in a truck, which they leave behind when they run away after “smashing and bashing”. Hulk here some noises coming out of the truck, and it turns out to be a little girl. She is apparently narcoleptic and falls asleep on the Hulk pretty much instantly.
We are told basically nothing about this girl except that she is 13 (even though she acts 9), her name is Bella (groan), and she has “been running from bad men like them for the past four years.” She asks the Hulk not to leave her because she is “so scared and [the Hulk is] the first person that ever helped [her].”
I probably do not have to tell you that
why she is on the run from “bad men” is never really explained, nor is the effect of such a thing on a person's psyche really explored, at least not in the few chapters I have read.
We are then told:
- Quote :
- That's how it was for 6 months, until one day Leader captured her. The Leader escaped with his servant Gargoyle. Hulk saved her with the help of the X-Men but she wasn't lucky after that. She was unconscious and not moving. Professor Xavier was able to convince him that they would look after her and help her get back to him when she woke. Hulk didn't want leave her with them, but he knew there was nothing he could do. All he could hope for was that she wouldn't forget about him and would want to return to him. That was last time he saw her.
The Leader and Gargoyle are villains I only know about from trading cards, but that matters little since here they are as generic as the “thugs” from earlier.
Anyway, in case the italics did not clue you in, that whole thing was a flashback. Since no one could possibly know this without a complicated key at the beginning of the fic describing what combination of bolding and single quotes represent thoughtspeaking to the general public in German with a Canadian accent, the fic is kind enough to mark it with “End Flash Back”.
Apparently 4 years ago Bella went into a coma and ever since then the Hulk has been... Well the fic does not tell us what the Hulk has been doing, but a siren goes off and that tells him that it is “time to fight,” so I guess he is working for SHIELD?
Long story short, he beats the shit out of The Leader (now teamed up with everyone's favorite giant floating head MODOK in another pointless villain cameo) and refuses to stop until a ~mystery~ voices asks him to. Who could it be? It is Bella, why would you even ask that.
- Quote :
- The crowd that was surrounding him stared in shock as a) young girl with black hair,wearing light blue sun dress
And b) old man with violet hair, wearing his birthday suit and a jaunty cap,
- Quote :
- stepped off a ladder suspended from a jet that appeared above the scene. The jet took off once she was on the ground. She giggled lightly.
“Tee-hee, jet rides are fun!”
Anyway, the now 17-year-old Bella continues to act about 8 or 9 and refers to Hulk as “silly.” He stops beating the shit out of The Leader, only to resume because Bells decides she wants some sweet, sweet revenge.
- Quote :
- “Hulk can you do me small flavor please?” He nodded and put her back on her feet. He would do anything to make her happy and to keep her with him.
She pointed to Leader who gulped. “Could smash him a few more times for me please?”
If you are wondering if anyone cares about this pretty blatant bit of power abuse, psftft, duh this is badfic all of you know better.
- Quote :
- The Avengers just stared in shock before Captain America to get know their new guest who would become apart of their team. Bella rested her head on Hulk's shoulder as he walked, before noticing Captain America next them. Hulk just glared at him. not wanting to share her.
This can only end in good places!
- Quote :
- “Hi there I'm Bella.” she said, extending her hand.
Captain shook her hand. “ Captain America or Steve Rogers.
One of those. Still not sure which. Also: hi there? Hi there? Really?
Ergh, so Cap asks Bella how she know the Hulk and, forgive me for quoting again but:
- Quote :
- I stayed with him for six months. not trusting anyone else but him.
”Which is why it is a totally good idea for us to get romantically involved! I may have been in a coma for 4 years, but my body says it is 17 and ready to par-tay!”
From this point on it is a lot of generally creepy fluff, like Bella being carried everywhere by the Hulk and sleeping on top of him, with a bunch of soft sighs and smelling each other and that kind of gross drek. I think some where down the line a bunch of other Sues get thrown into the mix, but I only skimmed the later chapters. I may summarize the rest of it for you guys later or not, but for now I think I need a drink.
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