The "What in the fuck kind of bill is this?" Thread

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

It's what the teachers used to do to us in school, when we pulled out something distracting during class time (we didn't have cell phones, but there were other things we used to distract ourselves). If grown adults don't want to be treated like third graders, they should PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY!*


*Exception: if there is a legitimate emergency, you may bring the phone to a designated talking area (outside the theater) and take care of your business. You will be allowed back in free of charge, as long as the phone is off and away.

EileenK98 wrote:

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

It's what the teachers used to do to us in school, when we pulled out something distracting during class time (we didn't have cell phones, but there were other things we used to distract ourselves). If grown adults don't want to be treated like third graders, they should PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY!*


*Exception: if there is a legitimate emergency, you may bring the phone to a designated talking area (outside the theater) and take care of your business. You will be allowed back in free of charge, as long as the phone is off and away.

If your cell phone went off in my world civilizations class, you had to sing the ringtone if you didn't want to get points deducted from your grade.

knightwithoutacause wrote:

EileenK98 wrote:

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

It's what the teachers used to do to us in school, when we pulled out something distracting during class time (we didn't have cell phones, but there were other things we used to distract ourselves). If grown adults don't want to be treated like third graders, they should PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY!*


*Exception: if there is a legitimate emergency, you may bring the phone to a designated talking area (outside the theater) and take care of your business. You will be allowed back in free of charge, as long as the phone is off and away.

If your cell phone went off in my world civilizations class, you had to sing the ringtone if you didn't want to get points deducted from your grade.

The deal I make with my students is this: If my phone goes off in class (say I forgot to set it to vibrate), they get to answer it. But the reverse will also apply; if one of theirs goes off, I get to answer it. We have been wonderfully ring-free for some time now.

lemmingwriter wrote:

knightwithoutacause wrote:

EileenK98 wrote:

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

It's what the teachers used to do to us in school, when we pulled out something distracting during class time (we didn't have cell phones, but there were other things we used to distract ourselves). If grown adults don't want to be treated like third graders, they should PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY!*


*Exception: if there is a legitimate emergency, you may bring the phone to a designated talking area (outside the theater) and take care of your business. You will be allowed back in free of charge, as long as the phone is off and away.

If your cell phone went off in my world civilizations class, you had to sing the ringtone if you didn't want to get points deducted from your grade.

The deal I make with my students is this: If my phone goes off in class (say I forgot to set it to vibrate), they get to answer it. But the reverse will also apply; if one of theirs goes off, I get to answer it. We have been wonderfully ring-free for some time now.

I am currently participating in a play, and the music director is a retired teacher. One night, she showed just how much of teacher she still is when a teenager's phone went off in the middle of song practice. The girl answered it and started talking loudly to be heard over the singers. The music director walked up to her, took the phone away, and told her she could have it back at the end of rehearsal. Everyone was laughing except the girl whose phone was confiscated.

Quote :

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

How about fuck you I work in the worst movie theater ever and hiding in a theater and texting my friends about teapots having ovaries is the only thing that keeps me from reenacting Falling Down?

Also, most of my managers/coworkers would probably just totally steal your phone and just claim it got "lost". Oops, our bad.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

How about fuck you I work in the worst movie theater ever and hiding in a theater and texting my friends about teapots having ovaries is the only thing that keeps me from reenacting Falling Down?

Also, most of my managers/coworkers would probably just totally steal your phone and just claim it got "lost". Oops, our bad.

Nope. If you're disrupting the movie, leave. If it's your job to be there, do your job and let everyone else enjoy the movie in peace. If you can't bring yourself to do that, quit. Everyone else shouldn't have to deal with your sense of entitlement for you having to do your actual job.

Aggie wrote:

If you can't bring yourself to do that, quit

ah ha ha ha it's almost as if there isn't a recession and jobs are just falling from the fucking skies right now

Cyberwulf wrote:

Aggie wrote:

If you can't bring yourself to do that, quit

ah ha ha ha it's almost as if there isn't a recession and jobs are just falling from the fucking skies right now

Which means... it's okay to do your job shitty?

fapfapfap wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

Aggie wrote:

If you can't bring yourself to do that, quit

ah ha ha ha it's almost as if there isn't a recession and jobs are just falling from the fucking skies right now

Which means... it's okay to do your job shitty?

Apparently. If jobs are so scarce, one should try to keep it. One can generally keep their job by doing their job properly. If an employee at a movie theatre is texting their buddies and it doesn't bother anyone, hey, more power to them. But if they *are* bothering the customers, fucking stop texting.

fapfapfap wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

Aggie wrote:

If you can't bring yourself to do that, quit

ah ha ha ha it's almost as if there isn't a recession and jobs are just falling from the fucking skies right now

Which means... it's okay to do your job shitty?

Try to read for context, yeah? Mr. Doobie has a shitty job that's often unbearable, and a small amount of goofing off (which doesn't affect his performance or inconveniencing customers) makes it slightly more bearable. A lot of people have unbearable, shitty jobs. Sticking your nose up in the air and saying "Why don't you just quit then, lest your tomfoolery inconvenience me" when, you know, quitting means being fucking unemployed for what could be a long fucking time, causes the phrase "let them eat cake" to spring to mind. Out of touch with reality.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

I propose a law that states if you get caught chatting or texting on your phone during a movie, theatrical presentation, lecture, or other public event, you are given one warning to turn it off. If you do not, the management takes it away from you, and locks it in the office. You can come get it back after the movie/play/presentation/whatever.

How about fuck you I work in the worst movie theater ever and hiding in a theater and texting my friends about teapots having ovaries is the only thing that keeps me from reenacting Falling Down?

Also, most of my managers/coworkers would probably just totally steal your phone and just claim it got "lost". Oops, our bad.

I( propose that people who leave their mobile phones on in theatres after the gigantic warning that, you know, flashes up on the fucking screen at the beginning of the trailers, are shot for how fucking inconsiderate and stupid they are on their first offence. I mean come ON; it's not even just other people; you'll be annoying yourself if somebody calls.

Quote :

Apparently. If jobs are so scarce, one should try to keep it. One can generally keep their job by doing their job properly. If an employee at a movie theatre is texting their buddies and it doesn't bother anyone, hey, more power to them. But if they *are* bothering the customers, fucking stop texting.

Because it's not like half the audience is texting as well.

Aggie wrote:

One can generally keep their job by doing their job properly.

Unless you luck out like my sister and get a job and then get told that "uh, we hired more people than we need. Whoopsie. Bye."

grmblfjx wrote:

Aggie wrote:

One can generally keep their job by doing their job properly.

Unless you luck out like my sister and get a job and then get told that "uh, we hired more people than we need. Whoopsie. Bye."

I had a job like that when working as a temp. I showed up and got to work, only to be told 20 minutes later that they'd brought in too many people and since I was the last one on the list, I got to leave. When I asked why they hired they hired too many people, they said they didn't expect people to actually show up.

^ or your boss's definition of 'doing your job properly' is complete and utter bullshit. Jobs being scarce is sort of the A number 1 way that management peeps get away with being unreasonable tyrants.

That's all well and good, but next time you dick around on the job, keep in mind how many people would fucking LOVE to be in your shoes and, moreover, wouldn't dick around.

fapfapfap wrote:

That's all well and good, but next time you dick around on the job, keep in mind how many people would fucking LOVE to be in your shoes and, moreover, wouldn't dick around.

Dammit Doob, you've got a job to do! Stop trying to keep yourself happy and be miserable for all those people who are looking for work!

And while you're at it, make sure to eat all your greens! There's starving kids in Africa!


Seriously, Fap, chill out.

WD40 wrote:

fapfapfap wrote:

That's all well and good, but next time you dick around on the job, keep in mind how many people would fucking LOVE to be in your shoes and, moreover, wouldn't dick around.

Dammit Doob, you've got a job to do! Stop trying to keep yourself happy and be miserable for all those people who are looking for work!

And while you're at it, make sure to eat all your greens! There's starving kids in Africa!


Seriously, Fap, chill out.

Lol ME? Did you skip over all the replies between my two posts?

Everyone: I WANT TO HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT TOO
Me: K whatevs, just don't forget that you're like, not the only person in the world that wants a job? And yeah, I'm sorry, but there are people out there who wouldn't ever fuck around at work and would brown-nose at every opportunity. And guess what? Bosses love those kinds of employees. Jussayin'.

fapfapfap wrote:

Everyone: I WANT TO HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

Yeah, that's what's being said.

Dumbass.

WD40 wrote:

And while you're at it, make sure to eat all your greens!

Greens? GREENS? The working poor shall eat naught but nutritious gruel!

Quote :

And yeah, I'm sorry, but there are people out there who wouldn't ever fuck around at work and would brown-nose at every opportunity.

Oh, totally. And I totally guess that you're, like, totally one of those people, right?

But yeah, I'm the worst employee ever. Taking five minutes to text a friend when I could just be standing around and staring at a wall? What the hell is wrong with me?

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

Apparently. If jobs are so scarce, one should try to keep it. One can generally keep their job by doing their job properly. If an employee at a movie theatre is texting their buddies and it doesn't bother anyone, hey, more power to them. But if they *are* bothering the customers, fucking stop texting.

Because it's not like half the audience is texting as well.

If you (and half of the audience) are texting and no one gives a shit, great. No one is being bothered so keep doing what you're doing. But if someone *does* get bothered by you or the other customers, you/they need to stop doing it without complaint. I don't have a problem with your job performance at all unless you're pestering the paying customers and refuse to stop doing it (which I assume is not the case).

Sorry if my original post came off unclear.

Bill would define holding hands, kissing as "gateway sexual activity"

Apparently Tennessee decided Florida and Alabama were hogging all the Southern Batshit action.

:sigh: Oh, my people, my people...

ETA: For clarification - the bill would add the "gateway" definition to the state's "Abstience Only" sex ed curriculum. Which is less bonkers and more insidious than it sounds. I mean, I knew so many conservatives had a nostalgia boner for the 1950s. I didn't know they'd literally try roll back the legal clock to get their fix.

Freezer wrote:

Bill would define holding hands, kissing as "gateway sexual activity"

Apparently Tennessee decided Florida and Alabama were hogging all the Southern Batshit action.

:sigh: Oh, my people, my people...

ETA: For clarification - the bill would add the "gateway" definition to the state's "Abstience Only" sex ed curriculum. Which is less bonkers and more insidious than it sounds. I mean, I knew so many conservatives had a nostalgia boner for the 1950s. I didn't know they'd literally try roll back the legal clock to get their fix.

I, I have nothing to add to this, other than another picard

SISTRI has won CISCO's "Most Society Impacting Network" award:

Link

But what the hell is SISTRI? I mean, other than these:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

SISTRI is a system for the real-time tracement of waste that was developed in Italy to comply with European Community directive 2008/98. In theory it is a marked improvement over the system it replaced, in practice it turned into another huge Italian job in which bad bureaucracy and bad politics intertwine.

The system works like this: when a company produces waste (either dangerous or not) it has to register the temporary stockage of said waste with the Ministry of Environment through a web portal. When the waste is collected and sent to a processing plant for disposal, the waste producer, waste transporter and waste processing plant all register via the web portal. A tracking device ensures that the waste does not get lost along the road. Each company has an USB key with a unique code making sure that identity thefts cannot happen. Pretty cool so far, huh?

It's too bad that:
- nearly every company was required to comply with the new system, which meant getting a computer linked to the Internet or paying a consultant. Imagine an elderly artisan who works alone.
- most of the USB keys did not work, and the lucky gits with functioning ones could not use the system because of multiple bugs in the portal.
- the procedure requires the transporters to insert their USB key both in the producer's and processing plant's computers, thus becoming a vector for every kind of virus, worm, and spyware.
- the tracking devices costed about €200 per truck to be installed (transporters were the hardest-hit category from a financial point of view) and needed a SIM card to send and receive positioning data. Because they cannot be turned off once in place, they either discharged the truck battery, ran up a tremendous bill, or both. Reportedly they also interfere with the trucks' tachographs. Also, trucks with the tracking device now effectively cannot be sold or dismissed as no one is legally authorized to unistall it.
- the web portal cannot handle the traffic. About 300.000 companies are registered and more often than not, server connection times out in the middle of a registration, and the procedure has to start again. "Click days", in which all registered operators are invited to at least try and connect to the portal, have a success ratio of about 30%. (To get an idea of how detached the system is from reality: there is an internal mailing system for the operators to communicate. Each mailbox is allotted about 10MB, which may not be enough for a single message if you have attachments such as MSDS or chemical analysis reports. But there are smilies.)
- several real-life situations, like waste traveling by rail or ship, or being sent abroad, are not covered. The system will not allow you to complete a registration in these cases.

All these are teething troubles which could have been avoided if the Ministry had not been so hellbent on starting with the new system at all costs ("We will get fined by the European Community!" "If the system doesn't start, the mafia will prevail!").
The result is that, predictably, each time the deadline for the definitive passage to the new system approaches, the date is changed through an emergency decree. The last time this happened, with a last-minute reunion of the Council of Ministries, a badly written piece of law effectively cancelled the sanctions related to the old system, while linking the new sanctions to the effective start of the new system - meaning that right now, while discharging waste into a river is still a crime, but the law no longer establishes a punishment for that crime.
The main reason why the SISTRI is always postponed, rather than redone from scratch, is that it generated revenue. For the third year running, the 300.000 companies registered have been paying a total of 70 millions euro in exchange for absolutely nothing. Scrapping it would mean that the government has to return that money and this, in these times of starved cows, simply cannot be done.

One would wonder if they're stupid or know all too well what they're doing. The task of designing the new system - portal, USB keys and tracking devices - was given without tendering to a company closely linked to Finmeccanica, a huge corporation now under fire for multiple scandals. The system had been initially put under State secrecy with a mind to preventing the mafia from designing ways around the system, but all that is academic since the mafia can circumvene the system by simply not registering.

Oh, and did I mention one small thing. A lot of trucks are made up of a tractor and a trailer, right? In this case the tracking devices must be installed on the tractor.
Making a load of waste disappear is as easy as swapping trailers between two tractors.