Ridiculous book covers

Probably the most pathetic romance novel cover ever:

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Could this guy look any more miserable at being with a sexy blonde? He looks like he's trying to figure out how to tell her he likes cocks.

XLT-100852.0 wrote:

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But you can't inherent people.

That guy's happily surprised, somewhat hungry smile is SO WRONG!!!

kleine_kat wrote:

XLT-100852.0 wrote:

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But you can't inherent people.

That guy's happily surprised, somewhat hungry smile is SO WRONG!!!

Now that you've said that, I look at it again, and the guy's expression seems to be less happy father and more "Mmm . . . BABY!"

EileenK98 wrote:

kleine_kat wrote:

XLT-100852.0 wrote:

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But you can't inherent people.

That guy's happily surprised, somewhat hungry smile is SO WRONG!!!

Now that you've said that, I look at it again, and the guy's expression seems to be less happy father and more "Mmm . . . BABY!"

The sudden extinction of turkeys and the government's abolishment of family planning turned out to be a happy coincidence come Christmas.

^To me, dude looks like he's saying, in the most sarcastic voice ever, "Oh, look! It's a little shit machine! Just what I wanted."

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The Planet of the Apes ripoffs just got more and more desperate.

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Say you have a Victorian steampunk fantasy novel. What's the most logical cover art for it? Why, a cheesy romance novel image, of course!

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"This is your brain on a bad book cover!"

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A deleted scene from Michael Jackson's Thriller.

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What the fuck, people?!?!

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When Photoshop goes awry.

Spoiler:

I don't know.

I don't wanna know.

I'm out.

I want to know.

Oh my God, littledorrit. That's a real book cover? Someone okayed that title and cover design? And just how drunk were they?

For that matter, what was the author on when he (she?) came up with this godawful idea?

Off to check Amazon to see if they have it. If they do, I might buy it and spork it here. If anything ever needed the WGW treatment, it is this . . . this.

Edit: It's real. God help us all.

littledorrit wrote:

Spoiler:

I don't know.

I don't wanna know.

I'm out.

That's the funniest damn thing I've seen in God knows how long.

XLT-100852.0 wrote:

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But you can't inherent people.

First thing I noticed: it can't be a "Christmas baby" if it's already several months old at Christmastime. Or possibly, it WAS born at Christmas and this guy is REALLY lazy about taking down the decorations.

Second thing I noticed: That baby looks way too skinny. Well, at least that means it's safe from getting eaten by that crazy guy for the moment.

Kirby wrote:

XLT-100852.0 wrote:

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But you can't inherent people.

First thing I noticed: it can't be a "Christmas baby" if it's already several months old at Christmastime.

Second thing I noticed: That baby looks way too skinny. Well, at least that means it's safe from getting eaten by that crazy guy for the moment.

He does indeed look like he has evil intentions for that child.

Quote :

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Say you have a Victorian steampunk fantasy novel. What's the most logical cover art for it? Why, a cheesy romance novel image, of course!

How does that guy do anything ever? Usually when people have wings they also have arms and hands.

littledorrit wrote:

Spoiler:

I don't know.

I don't wanna know.

I'm out.

That book is horrid, but so over the top I laughed.

CaptainMcNeil wrote:

That book is horrid, but so over the top I laughed.

It has the distinct quality of something that was funny when someone was high. As in, someone picked up their tape recorder at 3:00 a.m. and said, "Ass, ass *snicker* goblins...*snicker*...OF AUSCHWITZ! Ass goblins *guffaw* *sob*" The next afternoon, they woke up with terrible cottonmouth, realizing that they had a book due in three days. Panicked, they reached for the half-filled tape on their bedside table...

Kommandar wrote:

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This thing.

Tunnel Snakes Rule!

Ahem...

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

That's the funniest damn thing I've seen in God knows how long.

QFT. Oh god, I'm dying.

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MANSEED

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When you see it...

Manseed is the best name I've ever heard for a book.

EileenK98 wrote:

Kommandar wrote:

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This thing.

He looks like he's in the middle of a flying leap into the other guy's lap.

I actually own this book (I collect sleazy paperbacks from the 50s and early 60s, especially gay ans lesbian-related), and whatever you're thinking about the cover, yes, it IS that bad.

Damn, I wish I had a scanner. I've got some doozies I could post.

That Final Exam one . . . any idea on a publishing date?

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Probably the most pathetic romance novel cover ever:

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Could this guy look any more miserable at being with a sexy blonde? He looks like he's trying to figure out how to tell her he likes cocks.

"Kathleen?"
"Yes, Dirk?"
"Have you ever considered wearing a strap-on during sex?"

EileenK98 wrote:

That Final Exam one . . . any idea on a publishing date?

According to Amazon, 1991. The author also wrote another novel called 'Party Line.'

The reviews for it are surprisingly positive.

^I'm not that surprised. Authors very often have absolutely no say in what the cover looks like. I'm sure there are thousands of excellent books that went unread, all because the publishing companies gave them shit-covers.

rae wrote:

^I'm not that surprised. Authors very often have absolutely no say in what the cover looks like. I'm sure there are thousands of excellent books that went unread, all because the publishing companies gave them shit-covers.

I didn't read Ethan of Athos for years because the original cover art looked so much like a generic "spaceman conquers the galaxy" story. Of course when I did finally read it, I discovered it was actually a "hapless obstetrician is sent away from his homeworld to find viable ovarian cultures and gets in deep doo-doo" story, and actually pretty good.