Massive dongs and ridiculous levels of stamina abound with this Harry/Ron slashfic. NWS

Harry x Ron Circumstances, by foreverxx

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Ron was the kind of sixteen year old boy that ate a lot, but never seemed to
gain weight. He had a nice physique - broad chest, long limbs and oddly
large hands and feet. Ron was also the kind of boy who was specially gifted
with a very large manhood, and impressively big balls to match.

Bow-chicka wow-wow.

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But just how did Ron Potter chance upon that information?

I have no idea, since "Ron Potter" doesn't exist in canon.

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Well, you see, a couple days after the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Ron and Ron finally had the chance to get to know each other better, better than friends.

:suspect: ... Either this is some sort of time-warp older-version-of-character-fucks-his-younger-self fic, or this is a really euphemistic (yet still creepy) reference to masturbation.

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It was a deep winter’s night. Every one was in bed, and for once Ron wasn’t
sneaking around after hours with Ron.

Uhhhh... see masturbation comment above.

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Ron decided he’d get up to go to the bathroom. It was a hot summer night

Hey, he just slept through spring?

...Oh, wait, CRAPPY EDITING LOL

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but Ron liked sleeping with socks on, so donning two nice thick, albeit being
rather old, grey winter socks, and wiggling his toes in comfortably, Ron
headed for the washroom.

The socks will be an important point in the coming "eroticism", so pay attention.

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Ron stumbled sleepily along the way from the bathroom when all of a sudden he crashed into something and he fell down. He shot up and held his fists in front of him to defend himself, when someone whispered lumos and a beam of
light fell on him. His mouth fell open as he saw a gloriously naked Harry, only in his pushed-down mid-calf white winter socks, just like he was.

KINDRED SPIRITS! BROTHERS OF THE SOCK!

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Ron stared at his best mate, naked in his Gryffindor socks, who was looking
so delicous right now.

OM NOM NOM VOOOORE

Anyhoo, time for the obligatory "describe each other's naked bodies in excruciating detail" scene.

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... the dark haired boy had a slim, muscular body from being the Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, his legs were defined and dusted with curly hairs, his chest was sculpted and his arms had muscle in them. A starburst of black hair surrounded his belly button, leading downwards. His eyes transfixed on his best mate’s cock, framed by soft black curls and flanked by rather large testicles.

*imagines testicles hanging separately, one on other side of the penis*

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Toned thighs traveled to well developed calf muscles and broad feet.

And vacationed there throughout the summer. The calf muscles were real vacation hot-spots; the feet were kind of a dive, but the hotel rental prices were cheap, 'specially between the toes.

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Harry was also staring; Ron was tall and lanky with long limbs; his skin was
pale with countless freckles everywhere, on his chest and shoulders. A smattering of fuzzy copper hair lined Ron’s chest, just like the curls of black hair on his. The red head’s long legs were toned and hairy. And freckly too. He was quite softer at the midsection than Harry was and his waist went straight down and Harry found it extremely cute. A wide, bushy happy trail led from his belly button to the base of his handsome tool.

Woah. Harry did a double take. Holy shit, Ron’s huge! His cock was deliciously large, must be ten inches unerect!

Yeah, I doubt any guys are that big.

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It was very thick, hanging proud and softly between Ron’s thighs. Blood rushed to his groin but Harry couldnt’ stop staring at the mesmerizing organ.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOCOCK

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Ron could barely tear his eyes away from Harry’s weapon as his own cock
began to stir.

That's because Harry was about to zap the Pod!Ron with his... wand. Using a spell. Yeah.

Anyhoo, they climb into bed, together....

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Ron spoke first, “H,Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever...had sex with another bloke?”

Harry turned towards him. In the low fire light he could tell he and Ron were mere inches apart and their breaths wash over each other. He could tell Ron’s heart was beating just as fast as his was.

“Yes,” Harry answered.

“Who?” Ron immediately returned.

“Cedric,” Harry said, “he fucked me twice in his room when I first warned
him about the dragons at the Tournament. He fucked me for five and a half
hours in the Prefect’s bathroom after we got the golden eggs, then he took
me to his room and then fucked me for another five hours.

Wouldn't Harry be very, very sore after that?

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I couldn’t walk properly for a long time after that. Then the day before the last task we had sex for thirteen hours straight in the Hufflepuff tower. Cedric’s got a
big cock. Then some Ravenclaw bloke, sixth year, and Neville and...” Harry
let himself ramble on, now focused on Ron’s pink lips as he said “bloody hell!”

"Bloody hell, I'm a boyslut in a bad fanfic!"

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and the way his chest moved with his breathing, finally ending with, “what about you?”

Ron swallowed.

“I, well, Viktor Krum and I had sex the night of the Yule Ball, he pounded my daylights out, then I fucked him for a couple hours; that horny beast has such a nice ass.” Ron’s heart was in his throat, going on and on. “Um, a few years ago Dean and I did it in the Quidditch change room and last year I blew three Ravenclaws in the boy’s bathroom on the second floor.”

“Dean as in Thomas?”

“Yeah,” Ron said.

Anyway, onto the horribly written sexings:

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They were both also extremely aroused by fact that they were naked save for the thick wool socks covering their feet. Ron’s socks were white whereas
Harry’s were grey and the musky smell of light sweat and feet charged
something carnally sexual in them.

FOOT FETISH TIEM

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Ron pulled out his wand and muttered “Guardus Silencia”, and immediately a blue pyramid formed around the bed.

“What’s that for?” Harry asked, giving Ron a puzzled glance.

“Sound barrier,” Ron smirked, “I’m gonna make you scream tonight.”

No, actually it's a cool laser light show! :D

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Almost automatically, they both took the other’s sacred organ in their hands
and began to lovingly fondle them.

Ron and Harry had always had disturbing fetishes for church organs... so much so that they had each bought one.

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Ron’s organ was thick and hot in Harry’s hand and the long foreskin was very interesting to him. Ron carressed and squeezed Harry’s smaller penis, playing with the smooth skin between his fingers and the blood ran to either boys’ lower regions. Harry wagged the ginger based tool in his palm.

Is his ginger-based tool anything like this one?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Even soft, the two organs were heavy and slapped noisily against their stomachs.

SLAP SLAP POP SLAP... is this fapping, or a bassline?

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They twisted and pulled teasingly on the other’s dick, the spongy flesh stretching as they tugged on the large heads.

Wouldn't that hurt?

To be continued...

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“Ron!” Harry exclaimed, “it’s so b,big!”

Ron’s formidable cock pointed straight at his face; it was bigger than he imagined. The peachy pink head was enveloped in a thick amount of wrinkly foreskin that covered all but the slit of the mushroom.

“Fourteen inches actually,” Ron flashed a toothy grin. But what was truly impressive about Ron’s dick was that it had a girth of about just a quarter inch shy of four inches across! Bulging veins ridged its surface. Ron’s size was sometimes a negative trait, as many boys he slept with was afraid of his size.

Wow, you think?

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Its sheer size caused it to hang low and thick over his two
grapefruit testicles.

Ron has fruit for balls? His body is getting even weirder....

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The massive appendage pulsed softly, a prominent vein feeding it ran down the left side and his heavy balls hung softly, perched on the bed in their sac covered with copper down.

...Okay, Ron's dick is some pulsating monstrosity out of a Lovecraft story, and his balls are fruit covered with copper. Awesome, good to know.

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When Harry put their dicks together, Ron’s was already flexing; his uncut velvet rod stood a head and a half over Harry’s eleven inch cut member. Harry picked up the organ, gently touching it with his fingers. It was very hot and heavy in his hand. The thick foreskin was pulled taut over the round head, as hard and smooth as brass.

Phimosis FTW!

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Suddenly Harry found himself grabbing Ron’s cock tightly, the branch flesh thick, burning hot in his hand and rather heavy.

Branch flesh? *imagines twigs and leaves growing out of Ron's dick*

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“You’re not so bad yourself,” Ron grinned, touching the exposed head of
Harry’s dick, “you’re still bigger than a lot of guys”. Harry’s cock throbbed in Ron’s palm and at two and a quarter inches thick, it was a handsome organ too. It jut out of his groin obscenely, its size, like Ron’s, was quite large for their frame.

The key word being "obscene" in that last sentence.

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Neither of them had cum for several days and their large balls were so swollen hard with cum they filled their hairy sacs.

That doesn't sound sexy, it sounds like an emergency needing immediate medical attention.

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Both boys cupped the other’s balls, playing with the soft wiry carpet that
was thick like a forest all around their testicles, as well as down the
valleys of their cracks.

*Does some clear-cutting with a hedge-trimmer*

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Both boys were very hairy and both proud and stimulated by it;

Bitch, step off my trichophilia kink.

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fingers explored fat testicles, dipped into warm holes and teased lightly at pert stiff nipples.

"Fat testicles"? Now, that's just too fat. Also, the warm holes are there because I drilled them into you two horny OOC bastards.

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Harry’s mouth found Ron’s, mouths dueling as tongues invaded the other. Ron tugged on Harry’s lip with this teeth, drawing in the flesh and suckling it
in his mouth. Ron’s tongue was wet and hot against his lower lip. The kiss
was needy, discovering each other for a first time and frantic. Saliva made
their lips slippery and sloppy, neither caring that they were eating each
other’s face. Their minds quickly hazed as their teeth clashed and lips
fused over and over again.

This is like something in a Cronenberg body-horror film, with the fusing lips and all.

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Their erections clashed in their groins and stabbed at their cracks.

That sounds painful, and not in a good way.

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Harry’s meat poked at the red head’s root before flicking downwards to smear liquid Ron intertwined his legs with Harry’s, effectively mashing their heavy balls together.

See my last comment....

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Ron lined up the two large organs horizontally, tip to base, base to tip;
Harry’s rod pointed into his orange pubes and his own nestled between Harry’s big nuts. The swollen tips bumped gently into the other’s body, shafts burning with contact.

...

Facing each other they gyrated their throbbing shafts together, jabbing each other in the hairy balls.

Harry put his hair matted chest against Ron’s and rubbed till the hair burned their flesh.

Why does all of this sound really, really painful?

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After five whole minutes of making out and fondling each other and fucking
each other in the groin,

they should have been done.

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Harry couldn’t resist any longer. Silently Potter pushed Ron down on his back to lie on the bed and squeezed the other boy’s monstrous organ. Rubbing his own slab, Harry jerked himself off at the sight.

When I think of 'slabs', I think of something that is thick, yet rather wide and flat. A slab is not what I think of when I think of the shape of a penis.

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A light musky scent emanated from Ron’s balls and it filled Harry’s head as he took Ron’s thick, thick head between his lips. The rich scent swirled in Harry’s head like fine wine.

Eau de Smegma and Ball-sack Sweat?

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Harry took the crown into his mouth, wanting to take as much of it into his mouth as possible. The enormous girth slid in, until it bumped Harry’s throat. After
gagging for several times, Harry swallowed almost eight inches of Ron’s manhood.

*gives polite golf claps*

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“Harry!” Ron gasped, leaning his head back onto the pillow. Harry murmured in response, suckling the large swollen head. He hungrily slurped down the length of it, inch by inch deeper into Ron’s mind.

Skull-fucking again, I see.

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His tongue pressed tight against the flesh, drinking in the salty sweat of his cock. Ron grasped fistfuls of the bed sheets, impaling Harry’s throat with violent thrusts.

This, of course, killed Harry. The End.

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Saliva and pre-cum sloshed in Harry’s billowed mouth, letting it pop out with a slutty slurp and instantly swallowing it again with an insaitiable hunger for his best friend’s fourteen inch meat. He looked up at Ron, cheeks spread, flushed with arousal and devotion. The large organ bumped the entrance of his throat and slowly, spreading his mouth wide, Harry slid the python into his hot and slick throat.

Where it killed him, given that it was a fuckin' python. THE END, ALREADY.

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“Harry!” Ron moaned, his best friend’s mouth showing him the wonders of
being male.

...Wha? :shrugs:

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Harry managed to ease ten, twelve and finally the whole thing into his mouth, the entire monster into his mouth until he had his lips buried in Ron’s wiry, curly pubes. Ron gasped as he threw his lithe legs around Harry’s head, held him
in place with his milky thighs and thrust with total abandon into Harry’s face.

Shouldn't Harry have suffocated by now?

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“Uggh, yeah suck me,” Ron moaned, thrusting up in an even faster pace. Harry gargled, digging his tongue against the hard, smooth shell of Ron’s cock
head.

I'm pretty sure that's a sign that he's choking to death on cock.

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Ron moaned as his eyes fixated on Harry taking off his sock, revealing his
large feet and long toes.

Harry held the sock in his left hand as he made love to Ron’s foot with his face. Ron’s foot smelled like clean sweat and soap. Harry drew lazy circles on the ticklish underside with his tongue. Ron moaned as Harry massaged his foot with his hands and licked it like a lollipop. He sucked each of the toes clean and thoroughly.

Hot tongue tickled Ron’s toes as Harry sucked the digits, drawing them into his mouth and cleaning them thoroughly.

“Mmm,” Ron moaned huskily, rubbing Harry’s cheek with his calloused sole. Harry’s bright eyes locked with Ron’s as he sucked the rough flesh and took the big toe into his mouth, licking it like it was his cock. Ron’s sounds were hushed and erotic.

Whereas this horrible fic is anything but erotic.

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In Harry’s hand, the thick sock gave him a sexy idea. Slowly, with Ron’s
eyes trained on him, Harry slid his big dick inch by inch into the sock, moaning excessively as he did so.

Anyway, Ron sticks his dick into the sock along with Harry and they start pumping away. Now, the ridiculous thing about this is -- they keep going for THIRTY MINUTES. How is that even possible?

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“Shiiit!” Harry screamed, the rough material of the sock shocking his rock
hard cock with its texture.

SHOCK YOUR COCK WITH AN OLD SWEATY SOCK!

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“Let me slide in there with you,” Ron said, taking hold of Harry’s wrist.

“Fuck yes,” Harry nodded. Ron’s erection was standing straight up and twitching, giving off clear pre-cum.

Question: Do dicks visibly twitch? Reading this, it sounds like it's as twitchy as a bunny-rabbit's nose....

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It was so tight and warm and wet in the sock they went at it for ten, twenty, thirty minutes, not once pausing. The acrid salty sweetness of pre-cum soaked the sock, as they bucked their hips into one another. Hard shaft met hard shaft, vein met vein as they fucked the tight sheath of rough wool, which they imagined to be each other.

Okay, that doesn't sound hot, or sexy, or even pleasurable. That sounds painful. And rather boring. I mean, there comes a time when you want to just get it done and over with, you know?

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Ron thrust his wet tongue deep into Harry’s mouth, licking his teeth and
fucked his mouth as Harry pounded their mashed erections with his visegrip. Both teens cried out as the friction increased, the wet cotton soaked through with sticky pre-cum burning their shafts raw. Ron’s massive head rubbed against Harry’s slit, spreading it open and smeared its juices all over the sensitive tip. Harry’s hand tightened over their enormous girth, masturbating them so furiously the muscles on his well developed arms balled to steel.

Again, that sounds painful.

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“Mmm,” both teens moaned, savoring the taste of their best friend.

... VOOOOOOOOORE

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“Oh SHIT!” Ron screamed, never before feeling so turned on by fucking his
best mate’s chest, “it’s - fuck - so good!” He could tell Harry loved it by
the way he thrust up with his broad chest. He dragged his shaft slowly and
firmly over Harry’s chest. The mounds of muscle in Harry’s chest bundled as
Ron’s branch slid between their valley.

Harry has really huge moobs, then?

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The coarse hair was amazing on his hot sensitive shaft, pre-cum leaked out non stop to mat the hair on Harry’s chest.

... The thick syrup of Ron’s cock oozed until Harry’s chest was soaking and it ran down onto the bed.

Dude, if I can't put it on a pancake, it ain't syrup.

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His big full balls rolled back and forth on Harry’s chest. Ron moaned and whimpered louder and louder as the minutes came by. His fourteen inch shaft throbbed and jumped visibly, his hard, full balls slapped noisily on wet flesh. His rod was very hot and on the verge.

Of SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING!!11!!! LOL *BOOOOM*

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“HARRY!” with a rumbling roar, Ron came all over Harry’s face. His face
formed to an “O’; full blast, Ron ejaculated like a wild bull, convulsing and screaming as white spears of hot creamy liquid spattering Harry’s handsome face, squirting freely. He slammed his hard cock and balls full force on Harry’s chest and smashed the shaft into the hair. Geysers of hot liquid jumped onto Harry’s cheeks and lips, in great quanitities into his mouth, so much that Harry drank five spurts of the thick rich liquid. Ron doubled over in pleasure.

... Teenage boys' dicks do not turn into Old Faithful, fantwit.

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“AUGH!” His massively swollen balls heaved and spurt violently, so much so
that Harry closed his eyes and opened his mouth, but even still his upper
torso, neck, face, hair was thoroughly creamed with semen. Ron’s giant sperm
hole spread wide and unleashed its load for a good three minutes.

Moar liek BLOWHOLE, amirite?

So, they start jerking off AGAIN... shouldn't they be tired of this by now?

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Ron’s own cock, already hard again, pulsed as he jerked himself off; the
young teens shook with arousal. Harry pressed his cock down, near vertical almost painfully and rubbed the hard tip into Ron’s hard nipples, which were so taut they were scraping the head.

“Ngh!” Harry groaned, jabbing Ron’s chest. Ron’s loonie sized nipples were framed with hair and the wires scraped the hole raw as Harry poked the fat
nubs.

This all sounds so horrible and frightening.

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They grew even harder and sent pin pricks of pleasure through Ron. The
red head groaned, thrusting his chest up to meet Harry’s passionate slams, throwing his huge semen full balls into his best mate’s sternum.

For one thing, that would hurt like hell, and for another, balls are NOT full of semen, they produce sperm and hormones. Then again, since we have a fic that features a guy with a 14-inch penis (and I just realized that should be measured with the METRIC system, given that these are British characters), anatomical accuracy is too much to ask for, apparently.

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“Ron,” Harry breathed, shuddering as his body burned with heat. Great tightness wound itself in his long shaft, making its way up his groin. The forest of his balls mixed with the orange of Ron’s chest.

*revs up chainsaw*

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The delicous friction quickly brought him over the edge as he burned his shaft raw on Ron.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] They must not have any skin left on their dicks by now.

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“Ron, I’m gonna cum! UUGH,” Harry screamed, within ten seconds his whole body convulsed and spears of his seed erupted into Ron’s chin.

Killing Ron instantly, of course.

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Like before, the two hairy boys licked each other clean and kissed for a long time. When they looked down, both glistening erections were rock hard again , standing straight up and more swollen than ever. The two pulsing holes were enlarged and gave spurts of liquid still.

...

Ron fished out his wand from the folds of the bed, pointed at his ass as whispered “lubricatus”. Instantly, his insides were magicked clean and immense moistness coated his insides. He was looking very very forward to this part. He grabbed Harry’s wet cock-head.

“Ron, what are you - SHIT!” Harry cried, throwing his head back as Ron forced himself onto his dick.

If I didn't know better I would think that that was a cry of pain.

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“AUUGH HARRY!” Ron screamed, his hot insides penetrated by Harry’s cock. The semi limp organ immediately shot to attention,

with a loud BOOOOING! sound,

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filling with so much blood Harry moaned at his painfully erect organ.

Finally, some pain.

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“FUCK!” Both boys screamed, Harry in intense pleasure and Ron because
Harry’s prick stabbed him hard in the prostate, making him go weak.

Yeah, stabbing someone up the ass will do that.

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Ron pushed himself up and down the big cock, filling himself to the brim with
his best mate’s velvet shaft. Harry watched as Ron take every inch of him, burying himself to the balls. Ron’s own giant erection bobbed up and down sluttily as its owner rode Harry’s crotch. The thick cock rubbed the hole raw and made Ron moan like a hungry dog.

...

The streams of precum from both manhoods drooled excessively, Ron’s throwing his spunk everywhere.

I hope they clean that up afterwards.

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Harry thrashed his head side to side, thrusting up with his pelvis into Ron’s silk cavern that positively swallowed him whole.

Unbeknownst to either boy, there was a whole colony of silk worms living up Ron's butthole.

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Each time Ron came down, his back hit against Potter’s hairy chest. Ron
screamed

in pain? *looks hopeful*

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as he took Harry’s shaft to the hilt and his big hard balls came smashing down full force on Harry’s making him more and more aroused.

And by 'aroused', we mean 'in a state of total physical agony'.

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Ron lifted himself fully off the tower several times, to seat himself fully.

Ron, you've been 'practicing' this with the Astronomy Tower, haven't you?

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In that time his spread sore hole dribbled precum and juices onto Harry’s dick, only to be split apart by the fat head which quivered eagerly to plunder him.

The fat head suddenly stopped quivering. "Bloody hell," Harry sighed, "I need to recharge the batteries...."

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His ass gobbled up the prize in its mouth, sucking it in with its clenches.

Oh, we're back to anal vore, I see.

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Harry’s cock scratched the forest of dense curls that enveloped Ron’s hole, rubbing it raw before it entered the hot channel of pleasure known as Ron’s asshole.

Ron apparently has a pad of steel wool growing around his ass, then.

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Harry’s balls were so swollen with cum even though he had just ejaculated that miniature spurts of sperm erupted in Ron’s ass.

Okay, does this actually happen? At this point, if the author said that men walked on the moon, I would be inclined to disbelieve her, given how horrible her knowledge of basic male human anatomy is.

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He was squeezing his tight heat on Harry’s cock until he thought he could no longer tell where he ended and Harry began.

Yeah, I saw that exact thing in a couple of horror movies called Society and End of Days.

...It's not sexy.

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They rutted like that for almost an hour, until Harry’s cock inside Ron began to swell. Harry’s cock spasmed and oozed pre-cum.

An hour? Okay, granted, they've both had prior experience, but... come on, now, how realistic is that?

And wouldn't it be pretty damn boring if you did the same damn moves, at the same rate of speed/intensity, over and over for a solid hour?

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With a deafening cry, Harry shot his loads into Ron, thick and amazingly erotic. Long streams splashed inside Ron’s ass and filled him to the brim. The massive load smeared and dribbled down the sides of Harry’s shaft though Ron was plugged. Ron groaned and drew himself off of Harry, his ass immediately shot with a wave of semen. His ass hair was matted to his body with sweat and semen, thrusting hard into Harry’s hand, which now had a painfully tight grip on his shaft, making it purple. A stream of semen flowed out of Ron’s ass onto the bed, still being annointed by Harry’s growing climax. Slippery hands touched one another, Harry in his half witted state of orgasm still and Ron pumping his cannon vigorously. The intensity grew in Ron’s groin as he pointed it at Harry’s face as he
straddled him. As the last of Harry’s long cum hit his back, Ron screamed
and came all over the place.

“HARRY!” Ron exclaimed, releasing a very long arch of white semen into Harry’s waiting face.

He's like those little peeing statues of putti over in Europe... either that or he has a firehose for a dick.

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Harry opened his mouth and welcomed the rich liquid.

Mmm, semen; it does a body GOOD!

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Harry loved the smell of Ron’s crotch which was so strong he could smell it. The never ending volts of cream washed him, making him slurp it up as much as he
could. He loved semen and he always drank his whenever he jerked himself off, but he loved his best mate’s semen more, not wanting to lose a single drop. He wrapped his lips around Ron’s arousal, causing the other to howl, and drank right from the faucet itself. The warm slit spewed its contents on his tongue as he tried to get a better taste. Finally he felt very content with swallowing almost a litre of Ron’s baby batter. Ron screamed when Harry’s sucking lips wrapped around his extremely sensitive head as he was ejaculating and licked at his slit. He buckled over and used the head board as a support, or else he would have collapsed into Harry. He felt his balls emptying into Harry’s mouth, something he never would have imagined would happen.

So, does this mean it's over?

...

FINALLY.

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After jacking minutes since they had come, Harry flopped onto his back on
the bed, his softening cock laying upwards on his stomach, as Ron’s was.
Harry pressed his body prone against Ron’s, everything touching. Their two
pacified organs twined together, now soft but still thick. Their lithe bodies rubbed, just as their massive pythons did in their nether regions.

This is so stupid.

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Neither of them said anything as they laid spread eagle, exhausted and idly playing with their flaccid cocks. Then Ron reached over and took Harry’s organ in his hand.

“My sternum hurts,” Harry said.

“So does mine,” Ron chuckled.

And that's seriously the only thing that hurts?

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“I’m going to fuck you good now,” Ron whispered into Harry’s ear, smirking.

“Show me,” Harry told him.

NOOOOOOOOOO!

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Slowly and completely inconspicuously, a small flesh colored piece of string
withdrew into the crack in the wall as Ron flipped Harry onto his back, the two laughing like schoolboy lovers. Fred and George Weasley pulled the flesh colored piece of string that was the Extendable Eye back into their floor. They were as naked and cum soaked as their little brother and the most famous boy in the world downstairs.

Jerking off to your brother having sex is totally creepy. DO NOT WANT.

Good God, that went on forever. Good job, Mal - on your humorous sporkin', and on being able to endure this... thing.

...wut.

Holy shit, that was long. And it was very unerotic.

Your snark was pretty funny and I give you props for being able to read the whole thing.

I don't think I'd ever be able to read that whole thing. It's so drawn out and unerotic.

Seriously, that had to hurt.

That was deeply disturbing on so many levels. But funny snarking.

I guess it's better than the one where Ron's was twenty-one inches and Draco's was, quote, "at least twice as big". (To quote someone on fanficrants, "IT COULD GET ON DISNEYLAND ATTRACTIONS BY ITSELF.")

Oh dear, Harry/Ron is.., well, it should be good really. It makes much more sense than Harry/Draco or Harry/Snape (which is also vomit inducing) or Harry/Voldemort or so many other ships. Great job at fucking up a good ship, author.

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When Harry put their dicks together, Ron’s was already flexing; his uncut velvet rod stood a head and a half over Harry’s eleven inch cut member

Okay, author, what makes you think Harry is circumcised? Surely we can safely assume no major character is.
　

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Ron flipped Harry onto his back, the two laughing like schoolboy lovers.

But they are, that's hardly a metaphor.

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Fred and George Weasley pulled the flesh colored piece of string that was the Extendable Eye back into their floor

So either Fred and George are psychic enough to know this would happen or they routinely spy on Harry and Ron's dormitory and just got lucky this time.
　

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Then again, since we have a fic that features a guy with a 14-inch penis (and I just realized that should be measured with the METRIC system, given that these are British characters),

Well, to be fair, wizards don't seem to use the metric system, wands are measured in inches.

OH GOD WHY DID I CLICK WHY GOD WHY

That is funny, in a sick way.

chelonianmobile wrote:

OH GOD WHY DID I CLICK WHY GOD WHY

BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT

Your sig is intriguing me, though I probably don't wanna know the context.

Malganis wrote:

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Both boys were very hairy and both proud and stimulated by it;

Bitch, step off my trichophilia kink.

I think I love you a little for that.

Sex for thirteen hours straight? Um.

Sock fetish? Um...if that's your thing.

"Then some Ravenclaw bloke, sixth year, and Neville and..." I think Neville's random appearance here makes the fic.

This fic isn't just bad, it's gag-worthy.

Isn't it just?

Fairlight wrote:

Quote :

When Harry put their dicks together, Ron’s was already flexing; his uncut velvet rod stood a head and a half over Harry’s eleven inch cut member

Okay, author, what makes you think Harry is circumcised? Surely we can safely assume no major character is.
　

Is it bad that this was really the only thing that actually annoyed me?

Okay, even allowing that younger guys do tend to have more stamina and need less down time, this is still waaay outside the realms of probability.

Quote :

I guess it's better than the one where Ron's was
twenty-one inches and Draco's was, quote, "at least twice as big". (To
quote someone on fanficrants, "IT COULD GET ON DISNEYLAND ATTRACTIONS
BY ITSELF.")

Damn you. Now I have this mental image of a penis with arms, legs and eyes, wearing shorts, a striped shirt and a hat with Mickey Mouse ears waiting in line to ride "Splash Mountain."

RattyRayvn wrote:

"Then some Ravenclaw bloke, sixth year, and Neville and..." I think Neville's random appearance here makes the fic.

XD Yes. Agreed.

...and pubic hair has never bothered me quite so much.