There is much danube and it made a no goodly

Here you will find the works of Hans Von Hozel, all 238 stories.

Being the literary genius that he is, he captures the moment so well in this epic little scene from a story called 'Snakes on a Plane'

Quote :

The Snakes made a sadly, all had jump off plane.

"We have made a scaring people away," say the sadly Snakes.

Suddenly, Samuel L Jackson jumped through the window plane and made a shooting at the snakes!

"I CANNOT SNAKES ALLOW ON THIS TRAIN STATION!" shout Samuel L Jackson, as a shooting at Snakes.

Such a genius in fact that entirely unrelated fandoms merge without warning in 'The Legend of Zelda'

Quote :

"My Empire is safe!" say Zelda, "This is goodly!"

Suddenly, Bowser jumps out of Closet and makes a grabbing Zelda!

"OF THE CLOSET CLOTHES!" shouts Bowser

I'll let you browse and snark for a while on your own, but just for fun, I'll include a dramatic readings I made of his stuff

The glory of Hans has been featured here already, I'm pretty sure. But thanks for the dramatic reading, I'm sure I'll listen eventually. :D

I would be interested if someone could pin down exactly what our friend means (if anything) by "danube." As far as I can tell, it seems to be a catch-all for any instance of matter moving in space.

Quote :

"I like cake" say happy America, as eat at the cake.
But suddenly:
"Russia!" shout America, "What you have put inside cake?"
"Laxative" say Russia with creepy smile.
"NOOOOOOO! Not the laxative flavour!" scream America, as America rush to the bathroom, "Curse you Russia!"

Ahahaahahahahaaa, I love these ones where he has countries talking to each other.
He has a fanfic for absolutely anything and everything. He now has a fanfic up about the first world war that he never posted before because

Quote :

Germany has a many insecurites about first of world war AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. Oh no!

I love how half the fandoms he's written for, he knows nothing about. He just makes something up based on the title.

In North Korea his fanfics are used as torture devices to extract confessions from political prisoners.

The reading made no a goodly. But a Fantastic.

Quote :

"Oh nO!" shout Harry, "NOT A SNAPPING WAND!"But a Snapping
Wand.

I have to say... this guy is a genius! And this is just hilarious... Alien v Predator fic:

Quote :

Suddenly, an Alien!"I must make destorying of Earths!" shout
Alien, while make a hold up sword."But without Earths, not of
animals to the huntings!" shout Predator.Alien made ignorings of
this comment, and tried to sword at Predator, but the armor was too
strong!
"Your swordings have no effect on ME!" shout Predator, and
Predator get a lazer beam and a shot of Alien.

Which begs the question... what would an Alien say if it could speak English? Also, if it would rather have a weapon than using its incredible natural talents, what weapon would it use?
A sword. Of course!

EileenK98 wrote:

I love how half the fandoms he's written for, he knows nothing about. He just makes something up based on the title.

He gets a few things right.

Hans wrote:

Da Vinci went to Paint Room, and was a shock at what he saw!
Jesus was having love affair with many women!
Jesus started to danube about the room to impress the females!