Double Feature: 'sonic to a car' and

so sonic to a car, but steal, so sonic a jail but virus. Oh, dear! Such an exciting description, I can hardly wait to read this 400-word epic!

I honestly CAN NOT tell what the shit this is. But... Well, I've only done one snark before and it's hard to tell whether this is the best or worst possible place to continue, but, well, here goes.

And I can't even decipher what's being said. The- It- Well, you know what, just read the first couple sentences and you'll understand.

Quote :

so sonic to lok, but tails. not a tails but a knuckles. so sonic to zoom in a speeding but not fast than a speed. so speed. so sonic locked up and stole a car, to increasment his spead

...Yeah. Not sure where to begin. Sorry to possible snarkers in advance; I'm probably gonna cover most of it because it's so short and just so... I can't even insult this properly, it's just that damn stupid.

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but police come and jail of sonic, so sonic a jail. "no" say sonic,, "jail" so a jail was sonic

And his corpse remained buried under the Sonic Memorial Jail, and a jail was Sonic forevermore. ...Is this gonna be on the test?

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so sonic was not a jail, but a car to steal

Oh damn it... *erases notes* So Sonic ISN'T a jail, no, he's a car on the streets of New York... Got it.

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but then sonic was much, so there was. not many. of those..

And then. The author speaks. Like William. Shatner. And then there were. Many Sonics. But after that there were. Not so many.

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there was bad

OH TEH NOEZ DERE IS THE BAD ALL RUN NOW

Quote :

knuckles did no understand the computerings

And apparently the author 'did no understand' writerings.

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so the virus were gone. but no long. for the virus laid a baby viruss.

Congratulations, Ms. 'M, it's a Missingno.! OH SHI-
[lol too much Pokemon]

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but for sonic make an amy so he made a protection!

And so, without the help of Tails, Sonic made a Mecha Amy! ...And then a condom so he could fuck his fugly beautiful creation!


And now, a special double-feature too short to have its own thread: 'sonic and tails!'

Quote :

one day sonic was tails with and plane and tials sayed "sonic we must plane"

SONIC, WE MUST PLANE! AWAAAAAAAAAY!

Quote :

"planee we must land" sayed tails but it was too late and they crash spilling out of chaos emrlad from pplane. "i have chaos emerald now" sayed shadow annd all chaos emerald for sahdow.

DAH END

Oh lord, the other stories by this author are just as good. Some are even shorter, too! Check out this three sentence masterpiece (Hey, the entire last section of Ulysses only had seven sentences.):

Quote :

one day harryr was shcool and suddenly look out the window and britis! "oh no britis2" sayed harry as he got with his wand and try fight of evil britis. "britis get outo of my ameirca" sayed harry as he shot anti-brit balls out fo wand and all britis got a shoot down. "this will show you britiss to invade at our school" sayed harry as celebraitonh

I wish my wand shot anti-Brit balls!

Ooh, here's a shorter one:

Quote :

one day it was allo allo show and suddenly frenhc to come with gun and shoot all allo allo character and all to lie the floor. so all people ded and no one care as they probably britis anyway

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

It's definitely a troll, but I DON'T CARE.

Oh, and apparently we're both racist:

Quote :

i am fom fracn so if you leave bad review you are racist

From this genius's profile:

Quote :

by the way stop leave bad review onto story my

i am fom fracn so if you leave bad review you are racist

(by thre way britis uruin society and it woudl be better place without u so if u take offesne at any of my story screw yoruself as u are racist)

youu think you can get rid of me britis?

hahahaha, i am back!!

i am defender of frnac

A genuine sighting of the Lesser-Brained European Troll!

Quote :

i am fom fracn so if you leave bad review you are racist

Ah, the Patois. Using their foreign-ness as a shield to excuse the fact that they can't write.

I think they're bullshitting. You'd think they could at least write the name of their own country in English.

If you really can't write in English, then WRITE IN FRENCH. Okay, so you'll get less reviews but you won't be up here either.

Not to mention 'France' is exactly the same in English and in French.

I don't think a French person would misspell the name of their country; they're too proud for that. =P

Obvious troll is obvious. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Hans von Hozel at least was a funny troll. This is just . . . lame.

Von Hozel's about as funny as a six-car pileup.

Chris91 wrote:

Von Hozel's about as funny as a six-car pileup.

Oh, he must be hilarious then.

Clown Cars? Six car pile up, thousands dead!

My first post

Quote :

Author has written 43 stories for Harry Potter, Inheritance Cycle,
Pokemon, Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Twilight, Hetalia - Axis Powers,
Digimon, Ratatouille, Naruto, Allo Allo!, Schindler's List, Legend of
Zelda, Simpsons, Pocahontas, Bible, London's Burning, Series Of
Unfortunate Events, Titanic, Inglourious Basterds, Finding Nemo, 300,
Avatar, Doctor Who, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Jeanne d'Arc,
SpongeBob SquarePants, Ed, Edd n Eddy, and Sherlock Holmes.

For someone who hates the british he's watched quite a few British programmes, Ratatoille is set in London, Harry Potter, London's Burning (not sure if he's watched this, he probably just thought the title of the programme was London's Burning literally), Doctor Who & Sherlock Holmes.

Allo, Allo was set in France.

He sent me this message after I sent him one which had British spelled correctly in the body of my message.

Quote :

no britis it is yuo who are racist and i can spell france so shut pu
britis. nand i can spell britis also but who would want to spell you
because yuo are scummmm britis stop leave your spam

I just wanted to lol at it, especially 'nand i can spell britis' ahem no you can't.

Obviously this sad little Frenchman is ignorant as he doesn't know the meaning of the word 'spam'.

Stop trying to be Hans von Hozel kid

his genius is unattainable. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Though this guy does get kudos for some of the most interesting spelling I've ever seen. He's just like an angry, racist, and somehow even more demented version of Hans. Hans is just kind of mellow, even when he trolls the bible.

So I checked out Hans' stuff. IMO his trollfail fails in comparison to this epic fail.
What. Uh, yeah. I think this guy's worse.

lurkar wrote:

Han's

that is not how apostrophes work, dear. Hans', or Hans's are both acceptable.

I like Hans, actually, he's rather funny and gets wonderful reactions out of people.

Max III wrote:

Stop trying to be Hans von Hozel kid

his genius is unattainable. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Genius isn't exactly the word I'd use. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Max III wrote:

lurkar wrote:

Han's

that is not how apostrophes work, dear. Hans', or Hans's are both acceptable.

I like Hans, actually, he's rather funny and gets wonderful reactions out of people.

Meh, small slip of the finger. Thanks, though. I fixed it.
Regarding him, I still like this guy better. I mean, when one manages to write something and be coherent yet completely unintelligible at the same time - Then you've got talent.

Pierre is a little too obvious. With Hans, there's the small possibility that he might actually be, y'know, for reals.

Then he becomes utterly horrifying.

_{thank you so much for the edit <3 I love it when people actually listen to my anal-retentive rambles}

Max III wrote:

_{thank you so much for the edit <3 I love it when people actually listen to my anal-retentive rambles}

From one grammar-Nazi to another, I value my grammar everywhere but instant messaging - And even then I try to be as accurate as possible.

lurkar wrote:

Max III wrote:

_{thank you so much for the edit <3 I love it when people actually listen to my anal-retentive rambles}

From one grammar-Nazi to another, I value my grammar everywhere but instant messaging - And even then I try to be as accurate as possible.

I-I'm not the only one? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Max III wrote:

lurkar wrote:

Max III wrote:

_{thank you so much for the edit <3 I love it when people actually listen to my anal-retentive rambles}

From one grammar-Nazi to another, I value my grammar everywhere but instant messaging - And even then I try to be as accurate as possible.

I-I'm not the only one? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Hell no! Most of my friends are as accurate as possible, too.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Let's not let it get too off-track. Anyone able to pick anything else off of this unintelligible asspile is welcome to do so.

You know, you might pride yourself on being a grammar Nazi, but the moment you make one little slip, well. I hope you enjoy the sensation of that stake being shoved up your ass until it can be considered a dental implant.

Heh. I suppose that's right. I better not brand myself until I can type at 9001 WPM with pinpoint accuracy.

Pfffh, I know my grammar's pretty terrible, and I make a lot of mistakes. Still, it's good to at least attempt proper sentence structure, no?

Chris91 wrote:

Max III wrote:

Stop trying to be Hans von Hozel kid

his genius is unattainable. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Genius isn't exactly the word I'd use. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

My darling Chris, that was mild sarcasm.

On the subject at hand, Pierre updated today with a lovely little gem:

Quote :

onee day, palmon tentomon and were sit the bed. "i want to carress
your insect" sayed palmon and she got her ivy vines and shove them up
tentomon. "oh no i am not concenturary sex" sayed tentomon, as he got
rape by plnat. "help i do not want rape" sayed tentomon as he made
sperm across the floor. sduddnely, tai walk into roomm. "tai you are
room to help me?" sayed an asking tentomon., "no i here for left over"
sayed tai and they all got inside tentomon suck sperm and more rape
into creation.

I think he's the abandoned assbaby of David Garret and Hans.

Max III wrote:

I think he's the abandoned assbaby of David Garret and Hans.

More like the result of a threesome between those to and heisanevilgenious Peter Chimarea.

lurkar wrote:

Max III wrote:

I think he's the abandoned assbaby of David Garret and Hans.

More like the result of a threesome between those to and heisanevilgenious Peter Chimarea.

whoops.

And yes, Peter Chimaera definitely got in on the action. I think Hans von Hozel was the one who raised the spawn, though. That sentence structure has to be inherited.