Lady Hell-Bent And The Faces of Madness (NSFW)

So, I don't get the appeal of 3-D porn comics. Too much uncanny in that valley for me, but whatever makes people happy, right?

What brings this up? I was searching through E-Hentai Galleries last night, and found, uhm...

Lady Hell-Bent!

The first page leads readers to believe that this comic is going to be some sort of porny Firefly rip-off, what with outer planets and rebellions and all that. But with more boobs. And porn. And less of everything good in life.
Also: note the strange under-boob flap of skin. Perhaps, when she makes daring jumps off of high buildings, the flaps poomf out and she floats gently to the ground, not unlike a sugar glider.

Page 1

The first page leads readers to believe that Lady Hell-Bent is drunk and sassy and might have something wrong with the muscles in her face. Also, proper punctuation. WHERE IS SHE ROBOT. THEN WHO WAS PHONE.

Page 2

The Man not only brings down the common folk and makes life hard, he also administers skull-fuckings.
Really.
Abbie Hoffman grew a magnificent 'fro not only for aesthetic purposes, but to block potentially devastating skull-fucks from The Man.

Page 3

I wish MY ass had the texture of asphalt.

Page 4

This is my FIGHTING FACE.

Page 5
Page 6

This is my ENRAGED AND CONSTIPATED RABBIT FACE.
BUAH BUAH BUAAAAAH.

Page 7

Not satisfied with the dialogue in the rest of the comic, Lady Hell-Bent's face started talking to itself.
Panel 1: My ass itches like the fire of a thousand suns!
Panel 2: But I itched it!
Panel 3: And it feels faaa~aabulous!
Panel 4: BUT THE LORD SATAN DOES NOT CARE ABOUT SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS

Page 8

HURRRR I'M A HORSE

It goes on like this for all 55 pages.

(Sorry for any rustiness on my part. I haven't snarked anything in a long while.)

The font for the title is italicized Star Trek: TNG. It's been sharpened enough to hurt my eyes, and my soul.

What bothers me is how her facial features seem to migrate around. Page 8 has the best rape face.

But uh, good find?

That's the problem with 3-D comics where the heroines have huge boobs. I'm always afraid they're going to take a sudden leap forward and put one of my eyes out.

Her face... It scares me...

The facial expressions hurt me in my soul. About half of them make me think of Jack Nicholson's Joker. And now I'm picturing him in that outfit and this is terrible.

SARAH PALIN LIVES!

Quote :

Page 1

Her face reminds me of the Phyllis Diller Spray 'n' Play skit on Robot Chicken. o_O

Toastuh wrote:

The first page leads readers to believe that this comic is going to be some sort of porny Firefly rip-off, what with outer planets and rebellions and all that. But with more boobs. And porn. And less of everything good in life.

Don't you mean "everything else good in life"? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

But here's an artist who should really learn to do a better job of faces before submitting his work for public appraisal and if there's supposed to be a storyline in there somewhere, I can't figure it out.

Ohhhh my god. There is no way this isn't a joke. Her face leads me to believe they did this on purpose. How do you do something like that on accident?!

Knorg wrote:

SARAH PALIN LIVES!

No, that is definitely Hillary Clinton's face.

InkWeaver wrote:

Ohhhh my god. There is no way this isn't a joke. Her face leads me to believe they did this on purpose. How do you do something like that on accident?!

Rob Liefeld does it all the time. He calls it 'cartooning.'

Urgh, what is it with poser comic 'artists' and having shitty compositing skills? It is one thing to not beable to convincingly match shadow and color, but to LEAVE A GODDAMN WHITE HALO AROUND YOUR PASTED ON SHIT-
:explode:

Toastuh, your comments made me laugh. A lot.

Her face reminds me of if Jack Nicholson and Sarah Palin hooked up and had a hideous, wrong lovechild with hydrocephalus.

Why do all their joints bend both ways? It makes me so very unhappy. On page 10 her neck just... and her arm there... I can't make it work on any level.

Fitchsticks wrote:

Why do all their joints bend both ways? It makes me so very unhappy. On page 10 her neck just... and her arm there... I can't make it work on any level.

She is Lady Hell Bent. She defies the laws of phsysics!

Actually, I doubt the person drawing her's ever heard of the laws of physics. :teach:

InkWeaver wrote:

Her face leads me to believe they did this on purpose. How do you do something like that on accident?!

Poser. Seriously, Poser. Poser faces never look even remotely human, ever.

ETA: You fail biology for-fucking-ever.

ETAA: BAAAA HA HA that exploding eye panel needs to be a reaction shot

I love how the boobs seem to posted on as an afterthought.

bleachedblackcat wrote:

I love how the boobs seem to posted on as an afterthought.

I admit it. I read "Interstellar Bovine Semen" and laughed my ass off.

myeerah wrote:

bleachedblackcat wrote:

I love how the boobs seem to posted on as an afterthought.

I admit it. I read "Interstellar Bovine Semen" and laughed my ass off.

That's a great name for a metal band.

myeerah wrote:

bleachedblackcat wrote:

I love how the boobs seem to posted on as an afterthought.

I admit it. I read "Interstellar Bovine Semen" and laughed my ass off.

Except, no substitute!

I am glad that they highlighted the fact that this was the exception. As opposed to normally, when you get the shitty knock-off bovine semen.

And, the last time I checked, cows didn't actually give birth to tentacle monster things.
:teach:
The more you know, I suppose.

Toastuh wrote:

And, the last time I checked, cows didn't actually give birth to tentacle monster things.
:teach:

BUT SHE INCREASED ITS EVOLUTION BY A HUNDRED MILLION TIMES

(Oh, Wugwuh, only you would give a chance to use that emoticon in a totally relevant fashion. Wow.)