How to Seduce a Demon: Vincent nurses a rape!Sue back to health in another half-assed MiSTing from the depths of Del's floppy disks (FFVII, NWS)

A friend of mine and Reepicheep-chan suggested that I go ahead and post the other MiSTing I did as long as I had it done, so I figured enh, why not, it's not like I have much credibility left to lose. The fic seems to have disappeared from the Internet proper, but I have all eight chapters, six of which are MiSTed--I'll do the last two if anyone wants me to. They're fairly chunky, so I'll be posting one or two a day. Again, the OC rundown is as follows:

Sadie: A girlcat
Aster: A cyborg
Will: A zombie
Clive: A pervert
Poinsettia: The token MAD

...and even that's more than you need to know, really. Enjoy, guys, or...well, don't, I don't care.

Quote :

((How To Seduce A Demon

Author: boobookittiefujimi

Taking place durning the search for Sephiroth.))

ASTER: (Tifa) T’ain’t over here!
CLIVE: (Cloud) Durn!

Quote :

A/N:

BooBoo: This is a beautiful, yet dark story.

SADIE: (Author) We control the brightness level and the contrast. Do not attempt to adjust your monitor.

Quote :

Don’t like it. Don’t read it.

ALL: (get up)
POINSETTIA: (over P.A.) That doesn’t apply to MiSTies.
ALL: (sit down, grumbling)

Quote :

I DEDICATE THIS STORY TO JEN/ACIDFLOWER WHO IS NO LONGER WITH US.

ASTER: Hope she wasn’t expecting a moment of silence…

Quote :

SHE'S IN GERMANY. SHE WENT HOME.

CLIVE: All right, we get to cause an international incident!
SADIE: Another one, you mean?
CLIVE: I was just trying to pick up a cheap souvenir, alright?
SADIE: You stole the ravens from the Tower of London, Clive. That is a bad thing.
CLIVE: Jeez, get kicked out of one country and you’re marked for life…
SADIE: Three, Clive.
CLIVE: Stupid sacred cows.

Quote :

HUGS AND KISSES JEN! I HOPE YOU HAVE A FUN TIME. TALK TO YOU SOON!!~YOUR BOOBEAR!!!!!1

WILL: She’s…energetic.
SADIE: I feel like I’m having my throat slit with a Hallmark card.

Quote :

***********************************************************

ASTER: Tsk, tsk. The fic’s collecting dust.
SADIE: Well, one can certainly see why.

Quote :

How To Seduce A Demon

By:

BooBooKittieFujimi

(five-minute pause to wait for Clive to stop sniggering)

Quote :

Chapter 1:

A Flower in the Night

Vincent’s POV


The darkness and light mingled together, as the pollution swirled within.

ASTER: Eurgh! I knew Midgar was bad, but light pollution?
WILL: Don’t look, it’ll give you eye cancer!

Quote :

My flowing red cape followed behind me as I walked threw the streets of Midgar.

SADIE: Awww, he’s wagging his tail behind him!
WILL: Don’t they have leash laws?
ASTER: Leash laws…hmmmm…
WILL: Don’t you start.

Quote :

The smells of flesh and pollutants fucked with my nose

CLIVE: (pumps a fist in the air) HARD-CORE NASAL ACTION!
(pause)
CLIVE: …er…wait…

Quote :

as my golden fingers compulsed with each step I took.

WILL: (fingers) Wash us! Wash us! Agh, it’s filthy here! We’re going to get a disease! People are staring because we’re a funny color! Touch that wall! Now that one! Now WASH US!

Quote :

I then turned down an alleyway

CLIVE: (Vincent) Heaven’s Night, here I come!
ASTER: Wrong game.

Quote :

to find a horrific scene.

CLIVE: Are you sure?
ASTER: Perhaps not.

Quote :

There was screaming and pure torture going on inside that alleyway.

SADIE: Hey, he sees us!
ALL: (wave)

Quote :

Three thugs were having their ways with a poor helpless girl in the middle of the alley.

SADIE: You can tell it’s a classy fic because they waited two whole minutes before the three-way rape scene.
ASTER: My clock says 1’34.
SADIE: Exactly.

Quote :

It was disgusting me, I cocked my gun and blew a bullet right threw one of the thugs heads,

WILL: (Vincent) Nail-biting disgusts me too! *blam* And you, quit breathing through your mouth! *blam*
SADIE: (victim) Oh, thank you, kind sir—
WILL: (Vincent) And YOU’RE wearing white socks after Labor Day, missy! *blam*

Quote :

scaring the shit out of the other two.

SADIE: Lame excuses time!
CLIVE: (thug) I lost a contact and she was helping me find it!
SADIE: (thug) I tripped and my clothes fell off!
ASTER: (thug) Really, really realistic blow-up doll!
WILL: (thug) What? What’s wro—oh, how’d THAT get in there?

Quote :

They looked up from their pleasurable misdeeds and stared at me with fear and angst in their eyes.

CLIVE: (waves arms frantically) Kill them, Vincent! Kill them before they go home and update their Livejournals!

Quote :

One of them let go of the weakened girl and started to come closer to me.

SADIE: (thug) My, what a big gun you have there, sailor…

Quote :

I smirked and parted my lips,

SADIE: (Vincent) ...and stuck out my tongue.
ASTER: (Vincent) Thhbbbbt!

Quote :

my fangs slightly peaking out,

WILL: Oh, not this again. Sleeping in a coffin doesn’t automatically make you a vampire!
CLIVE: It doesn’t? Crap, so much for cruising for Goth chicks.

Quote :

“You are really pathetic.”

CLIVE: I’M LONELY, OKAY?!
(all edge away)

Quote :

I said, right before letting another bullet release from my gun’s chamber,

WILL: (Vincent) In some cultures this is known as “firing”.
SADIE: Maybe he had a finger stuck in the barrel.

Quote :

shooting right threw his neck. The other man released his grip on the girl and began to run opposite of me, the stench of fear protruded off of him, and killed my nostrils.

CLIVE: At least they died happy.
SADIE: Aster?
ASTER: Let me check. (pause, typing) …nope, her first language is English.
SADIE: Let’s hope she never takes up a second.

Quote :

I couldn’t take the scent, his blood must have smelled better then his flesh.

ASTER: Fear for blood tends to create fear for the flesh.
CLIVE: I tend to have fear for gun-wielding guys coming up to me on the street and sniffing me.
SADIE: Awwww, he thinks he’s a doggie.

Quote :

I shot another piece of lead, hitting him right in the spine, making him fall right to the ground, blood flowing out of him.

WILL: Right to the ground? Didn’t stop for a bagel and a cup of coffee on the way down?
CLIVE: Wow, a guy got shot and now he’s bleeding! What are the odds?

Quote :

I smirked, I then noticed the crying, wounded girl laying on the ground, covered in blood, bruises and the scraps of her own clothes layed on her, barely there.

ASTER: (Vincent) Well, heck, where’d you come from? I was just on a killing spree!

Quote :

She just cried and hugged herself, aware yet not of what was happening. It brought days back to my life that I wish wouldn’t.

SADIE: By Yoda phrasings haphazard brought are.
CLIVE: Is that like taking days off of your life, but in reverse?
SADIE: Questions answer Yoda not.

Quote :

She was so pathetic yet strong to have not just killed herself some way.

WILL: What?
ASTER: Um…maybe everyone in Midgar has bones made out of Styrofoam?
SADIE: (girl) Oh look, a quarter, I’ll just bend over and pick it AAAAAAGH!

Quote :

I walked over to her and took of my cape, wrapping it around her small, shaking frame.

WILL: (Vincent) Wow, what a pretty shade of blue. Maybe I should unwrap her face? …naaaaah.

Quote :

She looked so weakened and hurt.

SADIE: Funny, most victims of brutal three-way rape jump up afterwards and start baking a cake while running a marathon and wiping out AIDS.
ASTER: Only in anime, Sade.

Quote :

Those bastards did reprehensible damage to her. As I wrapped her up, I picked her up and cradled her in my arms.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Izzy wizzy wazzy den! Whoozacutie? Whooza widdle gwavely injured cutie? Coochie coo!
SADIE: (girl) On second thought, maybe I’ll drag myself by three fingers to the Inn.

Quote :

As soon as she was close to my chest she clung to me tightly,

SADIE: (girl) UBER-KAWAII BISHIE VINCENT-KUN! *glomp*
CLIVE: (Vincent) Oh, not another one…

Quote :

like I was her life and death was coming to get her.

DEL: (pops up from a secret panel in the theater floor, waving a “Yay for Death!” pennant hopefully)
SADIE: Wrong Death.
DEL: Awww… (disappears)
ASTER: Can’t we make her form a fan club for the Patrician or someone? She’s creeping me out.
DEL: (pops up from a secret panel in the theater floor, waving a “Yay for Death and Lord Vetinari!” pennant hopefully)
ASTER: Forget I asked.

Quote :

She had to be no more then 19.

WILL: And, thankfully, no less than eighteen.
SADIE: Personally, I’m glad we’ve got a “-teen” at all.
ASTER: Nineteen! Come-come-comalla!
SADIE: And a dod-a-chuck for good measure!

Quote :

Her purple eyes cried with devastation, her maroon hair clung to her face, soaked in blood and water.

SADIE: It’s not raining.
CLIVE: I can take care of that. FIRE IN THE HO—
POINSETTIA: (over P.A.) No water balloons in the theatre!
CLIVE: Crap.

Quote :

I just held her close to me as I made my way back to Highwind.

(soft whining from theater floor)
WILL: There isn’t a tunnel under there, is there?
SADIE: Nope, just a crawlspace.
WILL: Lovely. (stomps on panel; the pining sound stops)

Quote :

The streets were crowded more as I pushed my way threw them. Getting strange stares as I did.

ASTER: Well, there he is, walking down the street, getting strange looks from everyone he meets.
SADIE: Maybe he should try going around people instead of through them.

Quote :

Many of the stubborn people that thought good of themselves, to good is what I’d say.

SADIE: And what do they say?
ASTER: (NPC) Welcome to Midgar! Welcome to Midgar! Welcome to Midgar!

Quote :

The girl slightly convulsed in my arms, holding her tighter against my chest calmed her down.

WILL: That’s because you just crushed her trachea, you twit!
CLIVE: (Vincent) I will hug her and screw her and call her George.

Quote :

She didn’t even speak, just held tighter, slightly whimpering, as salty liquid profused from her eyes.

ASTER: Tears, you mean.
SADIE: We hope.

Quote :

I heard a low snarl from behind me and a familiar scent fill my senses.

ASTER: How many senses can a scent fill? And what’s with the super-sniffy?
SADIE: He’s part wolf.
ASTER: No he is—
SADIE: Shut up.
ASTER: But he—
SADIE: It’s that or “vampire blood”.
ASTER: Always thought he looked a bit canine.

Quote :

I turned halfway turned to see Red sitting behind me, scratching behind his ear, as usual.

CLIVE: ‘Cause he’s an animal, and animals do that. It’s whimsical characterization, see.
SADIE: It’s too early in the morning for whimsical anything.
ASTER: It’s four in the afternoon.
SADIE: Are you disagreeing with me?

Quote :

“I smell blood on you, Vince.”

WILL: (Nanaki) You didn’t go and become a vampire again, did you?

Quote :

Red spoke up, in his usual bold tone.

SADIE: That’s not bold. Not even italicized. Underlining is right out.
WILL: You need to spend some time offline, Sadie.
SADIE: Why does everyone say that?

Quote :

“This is probably what you smell, Red.” I said, fully turning around to show Red my find. Red’s eyes grew wide as he saw the pale, trembling girl in my grasp.

CLIVE: (Nanaki) When I told you to pick up dinner, I was thinking more along the lines of, y’know, Chinese.
WILL: (Vincent) I had one of those too, but he got away.

Quote :

“What did you do to her?” Red asked, scared I might have transformed into Chaos for awhile. “Nothing, some fucking assholes were raping her. I saved her and fucking killed them.” I said, a smirk appearing on my face.

ASTER: *blink blink* Cid?
SADIE: (author) If I’m going to have an NC-17 rating, I’m going to USE it, by Mortimer!

Quote :

Red approached the girl and smelled her, looking back up at me and nodding.

WILL: (Nanaki) Yup, that’s a girl.

Quote :

“Let’s take her to the ship and tend her wounds.” Red said, as he began to walk towards Highwind.

CLIVE: Is it just me, or is this fic starting to take on a delightful scent of citrus?
SADIE: (securing anti-lemon helmet) Furries…why does it have to be furries?

Quote :

I looked down at the girl as I followed Red, she was looking up at me with large, bruised emerald eyes,

ASTER: But it said earlier that she had purple eyes. Which means…
WILL: (Vincent) Would you put those down? You’re really creepy.

Quote :

tears flowing down her pale, blemished cheeks.

SADIE: Yes. Crying. Lots of it. Got it.
ASTER: Since when do Sues have blemishes?
SADIE: She probably has a case of smallpox that she's going to die tragically of somewhere around the fifth chapter.
ASTER: This is an eight-chapter fic.
SADIE: I didn't say it would take.

Quote :

I smiled at her, a thing I do rarely,

(more whimpering from under the floor; Will stomps harder)

Quote :

but I thought it might comfort her, help her settle down and stop crying.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Ma'am, please...I've never had to comfort a crying woman before…er, I'm not familiar with the technique, er, hang on, let me think…oh, oh, I see! Well, don’t worry, ma’am, I remember the drill now. *SQUEEZE*
ASTER: (girl, gagging) What are you doing? Get off of me!
CLIVE: (Vincent) The Heimlich Maneuver, ma’am, I believe it helps women stop crying. *SQUEEZE*
ASTER: (girl) The Heimlich Maneuver makes people stop choking, you idiot!
CLIVE: (Vincent) No, I think you’re wrong, ma’am.
ASTER: (girl) I’m not wrong! You’re nuts!
CLIVE: (Vincent) Well, then…why have you stopped crying?
ASTER: (girl) Well, because it’s hard to cry when someone’s doing the Heimlich Maneuver on you. It really puts you off.
CLIVE: (Vincent) But, you’re not crying, though.
ASTER: (girl) Well, no.
CLIVE: (Vincent) So, it worked?
ASTER: (girl) No! It didn’t work! It just—oh, shut up shut up shut UP!
SADIE: The “Duct Soup” bit, ladies and gentlemen! Remember, the best kind of comedy is comedy you can plagarize!

Quote :

Gods only know what she’s been threw. I noticed as she cried, a red tint in her tears.

WILL: This is wanton cruelty to the common comma.
SADIE: See above statement.

Quote :

I did something, I though would scare her.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Booga booga booga!
SADIE: (girl) If I start crawling now, maybe I can make it to the inn by next Tuesday...

Quote :

I took the tip of my finger and removed a drop from her face.

SADIE: (Vincent) *lick* …neato torpedo, you’re leaking Kool-Aid!

Quote :

She just watched him, quietly.

CLIVE: (blows whistle) Foul!
SADIE: Please keep all observations inside the given perspective until the fic comes until a complete and total stop.

Quote :

I licked it, tasting the blood mixed in her tears.

WILL: (Vincent) Hmmm…AB, Rh-negative. Well, I prefer a good O-positive, but you'll do.

Quote :

She must have cried so much she was now crying blood.

CLIVE: Okay, I call physical impossibility!
WILL: Vampiric trait, actually.
CLIVE: Tell, me Will, is there any question that can’t be immediately dismissed by saying “vampire blood”?
WILL: How about “What are you covered in?”?

Quote :

“It’ll be okay. Just stop crying, the pain in your eyes will go away.” I said, calmly, a soothing tone in my voice.

SADIE: (girl) Oh, okay! And if I stop BLEEDING, the pain in every OTHER orifice and my shattered psyche will go away! Thank you so much! Put me down or I’ll claw your eyes out.

Quote :

The girl complied with my begging and slowly calmed down, holding onto my chest tighter, if that was even possible.

CLIVE: (Vincent) OWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
SADIE: (girl) Oh, sorry, are those not supposed to come off?

Quote :

I looked up to see we were nearly there, no more then 5 feet from Highwind. God Cid’s gonna be bitchy about this.

CLIVE: Funny, I always figured Vincent was the bi—
DEL: (pops up and whacks Clive with her Cthulhu plushie) HOLY WRATH OF CWITHMATH CTHUWHU!
ASTER: Should’ve seen that one coming, Clive.
CLIVE: (clutching head) Those jingly-tentacle-bells HURT…
WILL: Down you go. (gently pushes the author back into the crawlspace) Sadie?
SADIE: (welds it shut)
ASTER: At least she’s coming out of her shell.
WILL: Yes…the delicate and beautiful transition from caterpillar to butterfly.
CLIVE: More like snail to slug, actually.
DEL: (muffled) I like slugs.
SADIE: We know.
DEL: (muffled) You didn’t leave me any airholes.
ASTER: We know.

Quote :

The girl looked in the same way I was, her eyes grew wide and she began to slightly shake, her nails digging threw my shirt.

ASTER: (Vincent) And my skin.
WILL: (Vincent) And my muscle.
CLIVE: (Vincent) And my GAAAaackt…

Quote :

My hands squeezed her, letting her know it was okay.

SADIE: It’s not okay if the hand you're squeezing with has claws on the end, Vincent.

Quote :

I saw Cloud and Tifa up on the deck, Red ran ahead and told them, I guess, cause as Red ran back, so did Cloud and Tifa.

CLIVE: (Cloud) What is it, Nanaki? Was Timmy sexually assaulted by the old well?

Quote :

Tifa ran up to me as fast as she could, Red and Cloud trailing behind.

WILL: I’m sorry, but could we maybe have just a little more description on this running thing? I can’t quite seem to wrap my head around it.

Quote :

When Tifa saw the girl, a horrified look possessed her face.

ASTER: She’s not going to start spewing pea soup at everyone, is she?
WILL: I don’t think so.

Quote :

“What the fuck?” Cloud blurted out as he came behind Tifa.

ASTER: Are you sure?
WILL: Perhaps not.

Quote :

Cloud’s eyes filled with worryness.

SADIE: Bloop bloop bloop…
WILL: (throws a dictionary at the screen)

Quote :

Tifa’s eyes looked like she was about to burst into tears. They just stood there and stared, I finally had to speak up.

CLIVE: (Vincent) I followed her home. Can she keep me?

Quote :

“We need to get her inside and tend to her wounds.” I said, pushing myself threw the miniature crowd that had formed around me of my comrades.

SADIE: So, uh, what are they going to do next?
ASTER: I don’t know, it’s all so vague…I think maybe they’re going to pick up a carton of eggs and then go skiing.
SADIE: Makes sense.

Quote :

I walked into the Highwind, the girl became frightened the higher up we went. “It’s okay, just don’t look over, look at me.”

SADIE: (Vincent) Just look at the tall, intimidating, violent stranger with a gun and a metal claw that could be, for all you know, taking you overseas to sell into slavery. There, don’t you feel better?

Quote :

I said, positioning her face, so her emeralds looked into my rubies.

ASTER: Someone needs to tell them that those aren’t Materia slots.
WILL: No…no, they’re not. Learned that lesson.
ASTER: I WAS kind of wondering where your eyebrows went.

Quote :

She gave a weakened whimper, her eyes closing slowly as I made my way into my chambers, rushing right past Cid, who was talking to Barret.

CLIVE: (Cid) ^%&$ ^&%^ &*&(^(*&^ (*&!
ASTER: (Barret) *($#% ^&*^$# &*(&*&%?
CLIVE: (Cid) &*(^%*%, ^^&*((*%$.
ASTER: (Barret) &*%$^.

Quote :

I didn’t feel like getting into a confrontation, having to hear about what the hell I brought on the ship now.

SADIE: (Cid) Where’s the (*&%# cat, Vincent?
ASTER: (Vincent) What cat?
SADIE: (Cid) Not only are you &$*%in’ stupid enough to bring an unquarantined animal on board, but—
(both are zapped)
POINSETTIA: (over P.A.) Don’t make me take away your tapes.
BOTH: (sulkily) Yes, ma’am.

Quote :

He’s pissed cause I brought a Chocobo on a couple days ago and he ate one of his hats.

CLIVE: Oh, for fun!
ASTER: Cid doesn’t wear a hat, much less plural hats.
SADIE: He does now, I guess.
CLIVE: (Cid) Howdy howdy howdy!

Quote :

I quickly closed the door and layed the blooden girl on my bed, I could get new sheets.

CLIVE: Already? Wow! Vincent's a fast mover!
WILL: What on God’s green earth is a “blooden”?
SADIE: It’s the state you’re in after you’ve drinken blood.
WILL: You’re making that up.
SADIE: So’s she.

Quote :

As soon as I placed her down, she passed out, in tiredness and shock.

ASTER: You know, I always thought the thing about passing out was that you didn’t get to specify when it happened.
SADIE: BooBoo hit her over the head with a plot device.
ASTER: Gotta hate that.

Quote :

It was to much for her to handle.

CLIVE: Am I the only one picking up on the subtle, strategically placed innuendo here?
WILL: Well, you WERE…

Quote :

I took out one of the many First Aid kits on the airship.

ASTER: He’s going to regret that when Nemesis shows up.

Quote :

I wrapped her arms up in gauze after cleaning all of her wounds. They were caked in blood and other unknown fluids.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Help, help! She’s bleeding vodka! …saaaaaaaay…

Quote :

She was horribly filthy. I’ll get her into a bath as soon as she wakes back up.

ASTER: Which really makes the cleaning and dressing of the wounds redundant.
WILL: I see we’ve slid nicely into present tense.

Quote :

I tucked

WILL: And nicely out again.
SADIE: It’s like we were never there!

Quote :

her in my silk sheets, she was still shaking, so I turned on the heat in my room, hoping it would sooth her.

SADIE: (girl) Um, I’m really grateful for your help and all, but, um, could you, uh, kind of…not set the bed on fire?
CLIVE: (Vincent, singing) ~We’ll smoke the monster out!

Quote :

I pushed her hair back out of her face and put it back with a tie.

CLIVE: A bow tie, to be specific.

Quote :

I looked at her and felt something inside me. I never wanted to feel again.

WILL: (Vincent) Damned face huggers…are you about done in there?
SADIE: (alien) *muffled* Do you have any salt?

Quote :

A/N:


BooBoo: god this is a fucking masterpiece. I love it. My best work yet!!

CLIVE: (BooBoo) Yes! I love me! I da man!

Quote :

Later!!

SADIE: (BooBoo) I have to go stroke my ego some more!

Quote :

REVIEW!!

WILL: Say, did Del leave a review?
ASTER: She was laughing too hard.

Quote :

Chapter Two

A/N:


BooBoo: Another Deep Chapter.

SADIE: Did anyone bring a canary?

Quote :

**********************************************

Chapter 2:

Self Sheltered

WILL: Ah, this is the part where Vincent builds a nest for the girl out of wood shavings, paper scraps, bark, and his own saliva.

Quote :

Vincent’s POV

I sat up at the kitchen table, while Tifa stared at me and Cloud drank a beer. She was drilling holes in my head, I couldn’t take it any longer,

WILL: (Vincent) I yink thou’re causing dain bramage. Stease pop.
SADIE: (Tifa) And now we fill the gaps with delicious cheese!

Quote :

I turned and looked at her, my eyes piercing her inner soul.

ASTER: Ohhhhh, her mom’s gonna be maaaaad…
SADIE: (Tifa) Look, look at this. Does this look infected to you?

Quote :

Her eyes grew wide as my mouth opened slowly to speak.

ASTER: (Tifa) Guys, guys! He’s gonna say something other than “………”!
CLIVE: (Cid) Holy *^&*%#! Get the video camera!
WILL: (Vincent) I hate it when they do this…

Quote :

“What are you staring at?”

SADIE: (Tifa, pointing at her teeth) You’ve got a little tiny bit of virgin priestess flesh right here. No, a little lower…okay, you got it.

Quote :

I snapped at her, like a snack attacking it’s prey.

ASTER: Here we see the wild Ding-Dong in its natural habitat: a plastic wrapper. Let’s watch as it feeds on its quarry, the common Big-Boobied Twit.

Quote :

“Nothing. Just wanted to know how you acquired this girl.”

CLIVE: (shudders)
SADIE: Animorphs flashback?
CLIVE: The pain!

Quote :

Tifa asked, noticing the blood all over my clothes, neck and face.

WILL: (Tifa) Something’s wrong--you haven’t touched your dinner, you’re just spreading it around. I can tell.

Quote :

“I saved her.

CLIVE: (Vincent) For later.

Quote :

What’s it to you.” I snapped again, making fear thrive threw her veins. “Nothing.” Tifa peeped, slowly hiding behind Cloud, who just kept drinking his beer.

SADIE: Just drinkin’ that beer there…nothin’ to worry about…
CLIVE: (Vincent) *BLAM*
SADIE: Except for uncharacteristically violent vampires, of course.

Quote :

Yuffie stormed into the room, swearing under her breath.

CLIVE: (Yuffie) Buggrit, millennium hand and shrimp! I tole ‘em, I tole ‘em--

Quote :

“What is that smell. It smells like…….” Yuffie began to complain when I cut her off, “Blood and rape?”

ASTER: (Yuffie) No, I’ll just have a waffle. Thanks for offering, though.

Quote :

I asked her, getting up and making my way out of the kitchen.

SADIE: Either he’s sprinting, or it should be “Blooooooooooooood aaaaaaaaaaaaaand raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?”.

Quote :

As I left she looked at my strange, confused and dazed of what I had just said.

WILL: As is the reader.

Quote :

I notice her look at Cloud and Tifa who just gave her the I’ll-tell-you-later look.

ASTER: (Yuffie) WAFFLE, I said. WAFFLE.

Quote :

I opened my door to see the girl huddled in the corner of my bed, hugging herself and mildly crying.

SADIE: (girl, monotone) Sob. Sob.

Quote :

I walked up to her, casually.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Say, sweet thang, do you work for the UPS? ‘Cause I coulda sworn I saw you checkin’ out my package! Oh yeah! I’m smooth!

Quote :

I sat down at the edge of the bed, noticing her muscles slightly relax.

WILL: Quick tip, Vincent—it’s a bad sign when their eyes roll back in their heads and their jaws go slack.
CLIVE: It is? Smeg, no wonder she didn’t kiss me goodnight…

Quote :

“My name is Vincent. You can call me Vince.

ASTER: (Vincent) Just like nobody else does.

Quote :

What’s your name?” I said, a calm and collective voice.

SADIE: (Vincent) We are the Bishonen. You will be sexed up. Resistance is kinky.

Quote :

Which seemed to sooth her senses.

Her mouth parted, it caked with blood. “Jenacide.” Her voice was raspy when she spoke her name. Her name pierced my heart, I don’t even know why her name effected me. I looked into her eyes and smiled, “That’s a beautiful name.

WILL: (Vincent) Somehow, it reminds me of the destruction of an entire species.

Quote :

Jenacide do you want to get cleaned up?” I asked, slowly standing up and holding my hand out for her.

SADIE: (Jenacide) Ooooo, neat. Do any other bits come off?
CLIVE: The wacky part is that it’s his ORGANIC arm! Craziness, folks!

Quote :

She nodded and got out the bed, holding on to my cape tightly. She automaticly walked into my grip, wanting my arms to wrap around her, I was her safe haven.

I pulled her into my grasp and wrapped my arms around her,
letting her have her safe haven. I led her to my bathroom,
and opened the tub door for her. She looked at me with large eyes, I could see all her pain in those large, emerald orbs.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Here, let me get that for you. *poke*

Quote :

A weak smile appeared on my face, making a small part of her pain disapate. I turned on the water and held my hand under it till it was warm. I looked back at her, “It’s warm now, get in and call me when you’re done.”
I said, as I started to leave her. I then felt her grip around my arm, holding me back. I turned around and looked at her, her eyes full of abandonment and hurt once again.

SADIE: (Jenacide) Can't I use the blue towels?
CLIVE: (Vincent) Those are for company.
SADIE: (Jenacide) My pain knows no bounds.

Quote :

“What?” I asked, confused of what she wanted. She pointed at the tub, but wouldn’t speak. She just kept tugging at my shirt and pulling me closer to the tub. “You want me to take a shower with you??” I asked, shocked and surprised.

She gave me another weak smile and nodded. I was shocked,
why would she want this? Jenacide looked so weak and fragile, her eyes put me in a diluted state, wanting to make everything better for her.

WILL: In medieval times, you could be put to death if you were caught selling watered-down Vincent.
SADIE: And now?
WILL: They label it “Lite” and make a killing off of the weight-loss demographic.
SADIE: God bless America.

Quote :

Gods fucking why?

ASTER: Yeah, Sadie, aren’t we anti-patriots?
SADIE: The song said so, okay?

Quote :

I smiled at her, but not able to show my chelicera.

CLIVE: You should never show your chelicera in public. Especially on a first date.
WILL: Tell me about it.

Quote :

“Why do you want me to take a shower with you?” I asked, a slight tremble
in my voice.

ASTER: (Vincent) Cid’s right, isn’t he? I DO smell funny!

Quote :

Jenacide just smiled and opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. “Why won’t you talk?” I asked, as she tugged on the buttons on my shirt, taking them off fast, but clumsy at the same time.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Jenacide, this is sexual harassment, and I don’t have to take it. Granted, I AM going to take it, and with great enthusiasm, but just for the record, I don’t have to.

Quote :

I just watched Jenacide unbutton my clothes, surprised about many things.

SADIE: (Vincent) CHAOS IS POSSESSING MY SPECIAL AREA!

Quote :

I was soon disrobed and standing with just my boxers on, a very odd look on my face.

WILL: (Vincent) Young lady, are you coming on to me?
ASTER: You know, I always billed him as a briefs man.

Quote :

Jenacide dropped my cape, revealing her very beautiful body, yet bruised, battered and severely scared.

CLIVE: (Vincent) You’re pretty when you’re mutilated.
WILL: I’m mutilated. Am I pretty?
CLIVE: No, you’re a walking mass of scar tissue.
SADIE: Clive!
CLIVE: Oh, sure, kill the messenger!

Quote :

She just stood there, a pure innocent look on her face. I smiled as she tugged me to the shower and she got in, standing in
the rain of water waiting for me to join her. “I still don’t understand?”

SADIE: Yes, that’s what we’re all asking.
CLIVE: I’m going to sit in the corner and cry bitter, bitter tears of frustration and jealousy now.
SADIE: Have a nice time.

Quote :

I replied, as I slowly took off my boxers and got in, staying as far away from her as possible, not wanting to upset her.

WILL: Is this that “No-but-yes” syndrome you've been telling me about?
SADIE: No, this is “No-because-I fell asleep during those videos in high school and have no clue as to what’s going on” syndrome.
CLIVE: (Vincent) So, did you have a tragic carving accident down there, mister, or what?

Quote :

But that wouldn’t be for long, she was quickly clinging on me, like child with a new puppy.

ASTER: Vincent, don’t you know what kind of things children DO to puppies? Run like the wind!

Quote :

Her wet, bloody body clung to my scarred carved built.

WILL: Strategic disfiguration is a chick magnet!
CLIVE: Yeah, if the chick happens to be a sadistic psychopathic vampire.
WILL: Jealous?
CLIVE: (hanging his head) Immensely.

Quote :

I felt her damaged strength pull me to under the shower’s running spout.

SADIE: (singing) ~The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the fangirl’s spout
ASTER: ~Down came the censors and blacked the spider out
SADIE: ~Out came the Kleenex and wiped up all the rain
BOTH: ~And the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again!
SADIE: There, we’ve seen the rest of the fic. Can we go now?

Quote :

Pouring warm water all over our bodies.

CLIVE: There’s a word for a shower that pours instead of sprays. It’s “faucet”. Now get her out of the sink, she’s bleeding on the toothbrushes.

Quote :

The blood from her body ran down the drain,

SADIE: All of it.
WILL: Hey hey HEY! Aw, no, that was still good!

Quote :

diluting the water that flowed with it.

ASTER: That must be a massive amount of blood.
WILL: Damnit, there are ghouls starving in Africa! How can you be so wasteful?
SADIE: Did you forget to eat before you came in here again? I've warned you about that, you know you get all cranky when you're off your human flesh.
WILL: Some of us have to walk uphill both ways to get half that amount of warm blood! In the snow! Wearing bleached skulls as shoes!
SADIE: Chill out, we'll get you a bag of lymph nodes at the break.
WILL: You...you wouldn't joke about that, would you?

Quote :

She looked around and grabbed the nearby bar of soap. She began to wash her body as her hand
trembled, not being able to keep her steadiness.

I watched her movements, she was so drained. I noticed as she washed her body, she never took her eyes of my face, not looking lower then my eyes.

ASTER: (Jenacide) Um, you’re…could, you, uh…possibly…holster that thing, or drape a washcloth over it, or…it’s not polite to point, you know…
CLIVE: (Vincent) Never fear! With a few quick strokes of a Sharpie, my gargantuan and oppressive manhood is transformed into a happy, friendly fellow that I like to call “Dippy the Dong”!

Quote :

My eyes were drawn to hers, only the Gods knew what was going on in my mind.

WILL: Everyone, on the other hand, knows what’s going on in lower regions.
SADIE: Don’t be silly, Will. They’re both kept in the same place.

Quote :

I then felt a cold feeling pressed against my chest,

CLIVE: And there shined a shiny demon, and he said, “Play the best song in the world, or I’ll bite yo’ nipple!”

Quote :

I looked down to see her hand pressing the soap against my chest. I looked back up at her face, and she nodded.
I smirked and took the soap from her, and began to wash my mutilated body.

SADIE: At which point he drops it, and the entire male cast eagerly descends on him to the sound of "Ride of the Valkyries", Sue quickly forgotten.

Quote :

There then came a knock on the oak door for the bathroom.
“Yes.” I answered out, in my mellow tone.

SADIE: Vincent so meeeeeellow…
ASTER: Yeah, when he’s not shooting people’s faces off or snapping tetchily at his teammates or angsting, he’s practically Zen.

Quote :

“What are you doing?” Cloud’s concerned voice rang out.

ALL: Ding!

Quote :

I froze still, if I told him I was taking a shower with a girl I rescued from getting raped, I’d never hear the end of it from Tifa.
“I’m helping Jenacide.” I replied, hoping that would satisfy his curiousity. “Jenacide?” He replied, confused now.

WILL: (Cloud) I thought we agreed on no more mindless slaughter, Vincent! …not without me helping, anyway…

Quote :

“That’s her name.”

CLIVE: (Vincent) It’s already worn out, so say it as much as you want.

Quote :

I replied, getting out of the shower and shutting off the water.

ASTER: (Jenacide) Um, I wasn’t finished—shampoo in my eyes—burning—well, okay…

Quote :

I turned around to help
Jenacide, who was slowly getting out of the tub. I opened a cabinet and grabbed some towels. “Here, Jenacide.” I said, handing her a towel. I wrapped my towel around my hips. She took it from me and looked at me. She stepped on to the tile and slipped. I caught her quickly, letting her
fall into my arms. She clung to me, not wanting to fall or let go.

I helped her stand up and I looked at her. She wrapped the towel around her and looked at herself in the mirror. A horrified look came over her, her eyes grew wide.

CLIVE: (Jenacide) VAMPIRE!
WILL: (Vincent) Uh-oh.

Quote :

Her hands traveled over the bruises and cuts on her face. Her eyes began to water up and tears released down her face. Small whimpers escaped her purple and pink lips.

CLIVE: Purple and pink lips?
SADIE: Hey, as long as they’re not lavender.

Quote :

I could tell she was about to break down in a few seconds. I wrapped my arms around her to console her, but she kept crying.
“It’s okay.” I repeatedly whispered over, and over to her.
I could hear her choke on her tears, as I rubbed her back.
I heard movement outside the door, knowing half the crew was listening to us. I picked her up in my arms and opened the door. Seeing almost everyone except for Tifa and Red with their ears against the door.

ASTER: (Vincent) …wait. Who’s driving the ship?
CLIVE: (Nanaki) I bet this would be easier with opposable thumbs.

Quote :

Everyone looked at us, their eyes grew wide and they all scattered in different directions.

I sighed from their stupidity and curiosity as I made my way to my bed.

SADIE: Either that was a very long sigh, or he sleeps in the tub.

Quote :

I placed her down and took the towel from her. She was clean now, but it just showed how maimed she was. The black and blue colors were patched all over her feeble flesh.

CLIVE: (Jenacide) I’m a CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY quilt!
ASTER: (Vincent) Eep.

Quote :

Gods, what this poor beautiful creature has been threw. I looked at her as she curled up into a ball. I placed my blanket over her and wrapped her up.

CLIVE: (Vincent) And rolled her down a hill. Gods, that girl could bounce.

Quote :

I pushed a wisp of her hair out of her fragile face. Her eyes had
closed and her breathing was raspy but almost normal.
I gave a meager smile before leaving her, to get her some clothes and food.

I walked over to Tifa’s room and knocked on the door, which quickly opened. Tifa smiled at me and opened the door to let me in. “You want clothes right?” Tifa asked, walking over to her dresser. I nodded as I just stood by the door,
not wanting to disturb anything in her room. Tifa handed me a pair of small shorts and a pink spaghetti strap shirt. “There, that should suffice.”

CLIVE: Remember, kids, when choosing clothes for a recovering rape victim, make sure to dress them like the sluts they are!
SADIE: I don’t think they’re for her.

Quote :

Tifa smiled, worry lingered in her brown eyes though.

SADIE: (Tifa) When are you going to let the others know about this little, um, hobby of yours?

Quote :

“It’s okay.”

WILL: (Vincent) Cid already knows, if you catch my drift, and we all know Cloud’s opinions on the matter.

Quote :

I insured her, she just looked at me as I left her room.

ASTER: (Tifa) A 300,000 gil policy? Is he planning on bumping me off?
CLIVE: (rimshot)

Quote :

I walked over to the kitchen and began to make something for Jenacide.

WILL: A blown-glass carousel with little horses, to be specific.

Quote :

I felt sadness and depression for her rush threw my body,
but I had to suppress it,
I had to suppress a lot of my feelings from this point on.
Or it would happen all over again.

SADIE: And I have to suppress my gag reflex, or my breakfast will be happening all over the floor. Break time.

Quote :

(END OF CHAPTER 2)
A/N:

BooBoo:

I love it. Hope you do to!!


REVIEW!!!1

(The MiSTies filter reluctantly back in. Will has a bag of something a bit too gristly to be popcorn.)

Quote :

Chapter 3:

Marred Pulp

Vincent’s POV

I looked around the kitchen, digging threw the horrific fridge. It was mostly filled with liquor. Damn that Cid and his alcoholic ways. I finally found some ice cream in the freezer. Thank Gods Cid didn’t get his grubby hands in this. I opened and raised my eye brow. “Damn it Cloud.” I sighed to myself, Cloud had decided to write his name in the ice cream. “What fucked up people I have with me.” I whispered to myself as I scooped out the ice cream without the moron’s name in it. I put the ice cream back and got a spoon.

I smiled, happy about myself doing something other then be depressed.

CLIVE: (Vincent) V., v. good mood today. Go me!

Quote :

I knew it wouldn’t last for long, gods forbid. I have to live with these stupid happy, giddy people.

SADIE: (Tifa) HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
WILL: (Cloud) Uh, how long has she been doing that?
SADIE: (Tifa) HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
ASTER: (Nanaki) Four and a half hours.
SADIE: (Tifa) HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
WILL: (Cloud) …………
SADIE: (Tifa) HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
WILL: (Cloud) Get the tranquilizers.
ASTER: (Nanaki) Righto.

Quote :

They fucking drive me insane.

CLIVE: (Vincent) I’ve got to get out of here! I can’t stand my life! I’m about to—
SADIE: (Tifa) Vincent? Is everything okay in there?
CLIVE: (Vincent) F-fine Tifa!
SADIE: (Tifa) You didn’t turn into the author and then back again real quick, did you?
CLIVE: (Vincent) No!
SADIE: (Tifa) Are you sure?
CLIVE: (Vincent) Yes! …well…maybe…

Quote :

I sighed as I opened the door to my room, clothes in one hand the ice cream in the other. I looked up assuming to find Jenacide in the bed, but I was wrong, she was no where in the bed. And no where from being clean anymore.

Jenacide hid in a dark corner of the room, blood all over the ground and wall. She held in her hand one of my daggers, her arms slashed and blood dripping out. I dropped everything, a aghast memories flowed threw my mind. I ran over to her and grabbed the dagger away from her, throwing it across the room and into the wall. She was crying and blood was every where. I wrapped her up in my arms, the blood getting all over.

SADIE: Gore.
ASTER: Plasma.
WILL: Human juice.
CLIVE: ~And Red Buuuuuuull!

Quote :

“God, Jenacide, what are you doing?” I asked her, almost breaking down, but not allowing it to come out. I rocked her in my arms and looked at her, she was bleeding bad, and needed medical attention.

I picked her up in my arms and made my way to Cloud’s room. He was the one with the healing materia. I burst threw his door, scaring the shit out of him. “What’s wrong?” He asked, getting up from his bed. His face went pale and his eyes grew wide. The blood from Jenacide’s body dripped from my arms to the floor. “What the fuck happened?” Cloud shouted in hysteria. “She tried to kill herself. You’ve gotta heal her.” I ordered, holding her tight in my arms. “I can, but it’ll leave some scars.” Cloud explained, as he placed his hands on her arms.

WILL: (Vincent) Oh, well, forget it.

Quote :

“I don’t care, just do it.” I snapped, worry filled my voice, my emotions were attacking my senses. Cloud nodded and his hands turned green and engulfed Jenacide’s arms. When it dissipated, her arms were healed.

My knees buckled and I feel with her in my arms. My emotions had taken over, but not for long, and I wouldn’t show it. A single tear escaped from my orbs and landed on Jenacide’s skin.

CLIVE: *sizzle*
SADIE: (Jenacide) YAAAAAGH!

Quote :

Catching her attention, she looked up at mean and saw the pain in my eyes. She latched onto me hard, her nails digging into my shoulders. She knew she caused me pain, and she was trying to help.

WILL: By clawing him to death?
SADIE: Tough love.

Quote :

I then remembered I was in Cloud’s room.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Maybe pants would be a good idea.
ASTER: (Cloud) Oh, please, don't put yourself out on my account! Here, sit down, spread your legs, I'll get my camera.

Quote :

I stood up and looked at Cloud. “Thank you.” Was all I said, then leaving.

I entered my room and layed her on the bed. I sat on the edge and held my head in my hands, fighting all the emotions that fucked with my mind.

SADIE: (Vincent) My psyche’s having an orgy and I’m not invited!
CLIVE: No wonder he’s always brooding.

Quote :

I felt her warm touch on my arm. I looked up to see her smiling at me, tears running down her skin. I wiped her tears away with my metal fingers, hoping it wouldn’t scare her.

WILL: Scare her, no. Slice off three layers of skin, yes.

Quote :

I held the side of her face in my hand.

WILL: As shown here.

Quote :

She didn’t even flinch, she wrapped her arms around it, holding my hand tighter to her.

“What are you doing to me?” I asked her, looking into her ethereal eyes. She just smiled and opened her mouth, I saw something most familiar to me. “Smile for me.” I said, facing her.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Ah ah ah, I didn’t say “Simon says”!

Quote :

She shook her head. “Jenacide, please.” I pleaded with her. She nodded and smiled. I almost gasped, but being me, I didn’t. Jenacide had fangs, demon fangs. “You’re a demon?” I asked her, examining her mouth. She just shrugged her shoulders. “Please talk.” I asked her, cupping her head in both of my hands. “I……I do…...don’t know wh…...what I am.” Jenacide said, her voice raspy still. “Jenacide. I’m a demon.”

CLIVE: (Vincent) A demon of LOVE!

Quote :

I said to her, I had to be honest with her. Jenacide smiled and her lips got closer to my face.

“I……..I know.” Jenacide replied, her lips barely touching mine. “Jenacide……….I can’t go threw this again.” I said, her sweet breath playing with my nose.

ASTER: (breath) I got it, I got it! *SPIKE*
SADIE: (Vincent) Are you quide finithed?

Quote :

“I…………I know.” She replied again.

WILL: Few more dots this time around, actually.

Quote :

I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to get away from her. I got up and walked over to the door. She watched me, a confused look controlled her face. “I, I can’t sorry.” I said, I then walked out of the room, leaving her sitting on the bed, completely confused.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer, I hated these thing, I have no clue why I’m drinking one. I’m just that fucking stress. I walked over to Tifa, who was sitting at the table. “Can you go watch, Jenacide for me?” I asked her, popping open the bottle.

SADIE: (Vincent) She’s a little cranky right now because she’s off her sleep schedule, but put in her PowerPuff Girls video and she should be fine for an hour or so. Emergency numbers are by the coffin.

Quote :

Tifa nodded and left the room. I walked upstairs on the balcony, wanting to be alone. I sat there and watched the scenary fly by as we headed for fuck knows. The wind flowed threw my hair, playing with my senses was all the smells.

ASTER: (smells) Touchdooooooown!
SADIE: (Vincent) Now cut that out!

Quote :

Gods, you must hate me.

WILL: We’re getting there, Vincent…we’re getting there.

Quote :

I don’t wanna go threw this again.

CLIVE: (Vincent) *whiny* I don’ wanna I don’ wanna I don’ WANNA!

Quote :

I watched the sunset, as we moved farther and farther away from it.

I can’t go threw this again. Damn my emotions, they got the best of me. This time. It won’t happen again, ever. Never again.

(END OF CHAPTER 3)


A/N;

BooBoo:

Hoped you enjoyed it.

ASTER: (BooBoo) Stopped caring soon afterwards.
CLIVE: Somehow, I’m not surprised.

Quote :

REVIEW!!

Quote :

A/N:

BooBoo: Ahh. Another chapter. GOD DAMN MY CREATIVITY!!!!!!

SADIE: (smacks Clive)
CLIVE: It wasn’t me this time!
SADIE: Sorry, reflex.

Quote :

**********************************************************

Chapter 4:

Realizing Me

Vincent’s POV

I ran my fingers over the railing of the balcony, as I still stood outside, the scenary changing every second. I sighed and took a sip of the disgusting alcohol. I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see Tifa and Jenacide peeking from behind her. I looked at them oddly, confused about what was going on. “You brought her out here, naked?” I asked, a stern tone in my voice.

SADIE: (Tifa) Nude skydiving. It’s more aerodynamic, but you’ve got to be really careful about where you land.

Quote :

“No, that’s absolutely horrid. She’s dressed, she wanted to come out here and talk to you.” Tifa smiled, pulling Jenacide out from behind her. Jenacide smiled her sweet smile at me. “I’ll leave now.” Tifa said, skipping downstairs.

I looked at Jenacide, she looked so content as she held her hands behind her back. The wind the pushed it’s way threw her hair, making it flow in the air. She looked down at her feet, like she was nervous.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Or maybe like her feet hurt.

Quote :

“Jenacide, what’s wrong?” I asked, lifting her head up with my fingertip. She looked up at me and gave a feeble smile. “I……..I wanted to apologize.” She said, quickly looking back at her feet. I smirked and raised her head back up. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You’ve been threw soo fucking much.

SADIE: (Vincent, valley girl) Like, guuu~uuuy! You were totally bleeding and everything!

Quote :

I’m just wondering how you survived?” I replied, a soothing tone in my voice, soothing her soul.

She smiled, a fairly large smile.

ASTER: It remained for some time after the rest of her had gone.
CLIVE: We’re all being driven mad here.

Quote :

“Neither do I. You’ve helped me through so much.” Jenacide said, her voice perfectly beautiful and normal. “It’s okay.” I said, taking her fragile hand in my steel one. I wrapped my fingers around it and brought her next to my side. She watched my face the whole time, a beautiful smile on hers. “Do you remember what you are?” I asked her, as we both watched the distance of the water.

She looked up at me, a fear struck in her eyes.

SADIE: (Jenacide) OW! OW! CONTACT EMERGENCY!

Quote :

“I..I can’t remember.” She lied, I knew she was lying. “I have perfect senses, Jenacide, I know you’re lying.” I smirked, looking out into the crystal blue water. She looked away from me and in the direction I was looking at. “I know, I’m a………….a……..Wyvern.” She finally got out. Her answer fucking startled me. I knew she was demon, but not a god damn Wyvern.

“You’re a Wyvern??” I asked, repeating it over and over in my mind. “Yes, I’m also half vampire too.” She squeaked, closing her eyes tightly, waiting for me to start ranting on again. My eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped open. I shook my head, realizing she may just be fucking with me. I smiled, “You’re kidding right?” She shook her head. “Oh.” Was all I could say.

I just looked at her, this beautiful creature was half vamp and a Wyvern. I couldn’t believe my mind or my ears.

SADIE: (Vincent) I decided to see what my spleen thought.
ASTER: (Vincent) Not my gallbladder, though.
CLIVE: (Vincent) Gallbladders lie.

Quote :

I just looked at her and wrapped my arm around her waist, seeing her begin to cry. “I know. I’m fucking horrible. That’s why those guys raped me.” Jenacide cried, falling out of my grip and onto her knees, burying her head and tears into her hands. “No, god no Jenacide. You’re beautiful. You’re perfect.” I pleaded with her, bending down to her level, taking her hands from her.

“You ran from me, when I was about to kiss you. I am horrible.” She sobbed, pushing her head into my chest. She began to hit my chest with her balled up hands, I took it. I’d let her do anything to me just to make her happy. What the fuck am I thinking? What’s happening to me? Her tears were soaking my shirt, I had to stop her from crying.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Stop! Stop! Dear Planet, this shirt is dry-clean only!

Quote :

“Please, stop Jenacide.” I pleaded with her, holding her tightly against me. “I am a freak. I knew my mother was right!” She screamed into my torso.

WILL: (Jenacide) Wow, your ribcage has good acoustics.

Quote :

God, she must have been threw such fucking hell, just like me.

ASTER: We get it, Vince. Really. We do.

Quote :

Gods FUCK YOU! YOU MENICAL FUCKERS!!

ASTER: Whoa!
SADIE: And now, the “Happy Noodle Boy” side of Vincent Valentine.
CLIVE: (Vincent) I know tall people! I know VERY tall people! Are these my feet?!

Quote :

I picked her up in my arms and held her close to me, she still screamed into me. I could feel her heart and voice vibrating against me.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Little lower…liiiiiittle lower…ooh…

Quote :

Her pain was rushing threw her into me, I could feel every point pain in her nimble body. My emotions, I’m pushing them back. They will not get the best of me.

I brought her downstairs and into my bedroom, closing the door with my foot. I placed her on the bed and wrapped her up in one of my blankets. “Jenacide, look at me.” I said, raising her eyes to mine, “I am what you are, I am a demon and a vampire. I hate myself.

CLIVE: (Vincent’s self) Yo’ momma!

Quote :

I hate my past.

WILL: (Vincent) I hate my present. I’m pretty sure I’m going to hate my future, especially if it contains you.

Quote :

I wish I could leave.

ALL: So do we.

Quote :

I wish I could forget.

ALL: So do we.

Quote :

But I can’t, and some of it was a tiny bit enjoyable.

ALL: We do not share that sentiment at this time.

Quote :

But the future is more. I must be there, to witness what this fucking, useless world is coming to.”

ASTER: (Yuffie) Shouldn’t someone tell him he isn’t in the ending sequence?
SADIE: (Tifa) YOU do it.

Quote :

I finally stopped and looked deeper into her eyes, into her soul. She knew I was right.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Oh yeah. She digs me.

Quote :

And something else flickered in there, her past, present and future. Everything. I could almost read it. Until she blinked, it all then dissipated.

ASTER: (Vincent) Way to break the mood, you dip.
SADIE: (Jenacide) Looking at stuff is haaaaard.

Quote :

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. Pulling me down on to the bed, on top of her. “Jenacide? What are you doing?” I asked, surprised and shocked. “Nothing, just lay with me okay?” She replied, her little fingers trailing my spine.

WILL: (Vincent) Give that back and I’ll think about it.

Quote :

I smiled and nodded,

CLIVE: (Vincent) Durrrrr, pretty lady!

Quote :

rolling onto my side and holding her close. In a matter of minutes she was asleep, her little breathes going in and out of her mouth. I looked at her and smiled.

CLIVE: (Vincent) Durrrrr, STILL pretty lady!

Quote :

What is this woman doing to me?
I can’t go threw this again.
Though it’s slowly happening, I must stop it.
Somehow, someway.

SADIE: (Vincent) I must stop Suemas from coming...but how?

Quote :

(END OF CHAPTER 4)

A/N:

BooBoo:
Hope you enjoyed it, blah, blah, blah!!

REVIEW!!

CLIVE: She's phoning it in. Why can't we phone it in?
SADIE: Her room isn't electrified by a sadistic mad scientist until she finishes doing her job and doing it properly.
CLIVE: Awww, I hate electricity.

Quote :

(Vincent) Never fear! With a few quick strokes
of a Sharpie, my gargantuan and oppressive manhood is transformed into
a happy, friendly fellow that I like to call “Dippy the Dong”!

*Absolutely cackles* Del, you're a freaking genius.

Quote :

SADIE: (Vincent) We are the Bishonen. You will be sexed up. Resistance is kinky.

oh god oh god please let me sig this

Quote :

(Vincent) Never fear! With a few quick strokes
of a Sharpie, my gargantuan and oppressive manhood is transformed into
a happy, friendly fellow that I like to call “Dippy the Dong”!

Sig, oh god, sig please! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And also - what the fuckity fuck? We've had some strangely named Sues here over the years, but "Jenacide"? Why not just call her Violent Maiming, or Brutal Manslaughter, with optional misspelling?

I can sort of see what the author was going for here - Vincent's depressing attitude towards others softening up when being met with someone who is absolutely helpless, thus prompting him to come out of his shell. She fails utterly and completely, through, as he comes off as a schizophrenic wildly flip-flopping between violently mean and utterly woobified, woe-is-me-please-pet-my-beautiful-scars. Also, awkward prose is awkward.

And someone needs to smack her with a dictionary - "threw" does not mean what she thinks it means.

frostflowers wrote:

I can sort of see what the author was going for here - Vincent's depressing attitude towards others softening up when being met with someone who is absolutely helpless, thus prompting him to come out of his shell.

IMO, what she was going for was more along the lines of "purty man is purty, ".

Do Wyverns even exist in the FF VII world? And if they do, are they capable of shapeshifting? Only Wyverns I ever knew of were supposed to look like a cross between a dragon and a worm.

Also, which half of the vampire is she?

Seule wrote:

frostflowers wrote:

I can sort of see what the author was going for here - Vincent's depressing attitude towards others softening up when being met with someone who is absolutely helpless, thus prompting him to come out of his shell.

IMO, what she was going for was more along the lines of "purty man is purty, ".

Yeah, yeah - but sometimes, I take long vacations in a world where I can delude myself into thinking that badfic authors actually have good intentions. It's sunny here, and there's rainbows and unicorns and awesome stuff. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Sadly, it never lasts long.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Also, which half of the vampire is she?

The Cullen half, if her Sueish tendencies are anything to go by.

frostflowers wrote:

Seule wrote:

frostflowers wrote:

I can sort of see what the author was going for here - Vincent's depressing attitude towards others softening up when being met with someone who is absolutely helpless, thus prompting him to come out of his shell.

IMO, what she was going for was more along the lines of "purty man is purty, ".

Yeah, yeah - but sometimes, I take long vacations in a world where I can delude myself into thinking that badfic authors actually have good intentions. It's sunny here, and there's rainbows and unicorns and awesome stuff. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Sadly, it never lasts long.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Also, which half of the vampire is she?

The Cullen half, if her Sueish tendencies are anything to go by.

Damn. And here I was hoping she was going to morph into Nosferatau and rip Vincent's lungs out...

Hey, a girl can dream, okay?

Rabid Badger wrote:

Do Wyverns even exist in the FF VII world? And if they do, are they capable of shapeshifting? Only Wyverns I ever knew of were supposed to look like a cross between a dragon and a worm.

I think there may have been some in the Fort Condor minigame, and yeah, they look like little red snakelike dragons. I don't think there are a lot of people who think that would convert well into a pretty girl (/d/ excluded), since I imagine that even a half-wyvern would involve a bit of scaliness.

Quote :

CLIVE: (Vincent) Never fear! With a few quick strokes of a Sharpie, my gargantuan and oppressive manhood is transformed into a happy, friendly fellow that I like to call “Dippy the Dong”!

So...awesome... I don't think anyone could keep a straight face reading that. Although, am I the only one who thinks Dippy the Dong sounds like a character from a really twisted children's TV show? "Hey kids, today we're taking a field trip to Sesame Street's Red Light District..."

Why do people say, "Don't like, don't read"? I mean, it's one thing to read a rape story when you hate rape stories, but on the whole people read stories with intent to enjoy them.

You don't know if you're going to enjoy a story until you've read it too. Why is it so hard for people to grasp that?

Well now, this is very interesting of a story, also I'm crackling up a storm @ the dippy the dong reference.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Why do people say, "Don't like, don't read"? I mean, it's one thing to read a rape story when you hate rape stories, but on the whole people read stories with intent to enjoy them.

You don't know if you're going to enjoy a story until you've read it too. Why is it so hard for people to grasp that?

Do we have to, like, sign you up for a "Things That Are Current" mailing list? At this point, you're like a stand-up comic going "WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT BERLIN WALL? THINK IT'LL EVER COME DOWN?"

The ridiculousness of "Don't like, don't read" has been established. Years ago. Try something else.

This! Must have more!

Also, curse Fandomination.net for falling into the black hole of butt hurt celebrity real fic litigation! I could have made eyes bleed for reals with all the woobification and Sueism I wielded in my younger days!

Well, this snarking has made my day