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 Naruto? The Chosen One?

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TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
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Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

PostSubject: Naruto? The Chosen One?   Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:38 pm

Oh Naruto, when will you not be written poorly into a crossover? I guess a good crossover of any kind is never going to happen. Of course, it doesn't help there are fanboys so hardcore they'd go as far as to write some abomination like [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].

And the best way to start this is with a text wall!

Quote :
A lone warrior stood on a deserted planet as countless mountains and lifeless deserts covered the surface. On top of the tallest mountain a lone blue eyed warrior emerged from a cave as the sun shinned through his golden silver hair. He wore a silver short sleeved shirt that was open, showing off his bare chest with bandages wrapped around his upper torso and two arm guards that were connected to his sleeves. He had on loose silver pants that showed off his upper thighs as more bandages were tied around his lower waist and upper legs. He wore no footwear of any kind, two silver fox ears with gold tips sat on his head as a long silver tail with a golden tip swung behind him, two Lightsabers were hidden in his shirt, and his long blond hair went to his waist with two bangs going down his shoulders and some of it covering his left eye with a silver streak going through the middle as three whisker marks were etched on his cheeks. Both of his eyes were slit like a fox's eyes. (Look at Naruto demon form on my profile it's kind of similar)
This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so fucking pointless!

If that text wall wasn't enough to burn out your eyesight, we get another!

Quote :
His name was Naruto Uzumaki the apprentice of Force Master Ravan and Kyubi the Nine tailed spirit. Together through the Force the two taught Naruto the ways of the Force and their techniques. After leaving his planet Ibonish to train Naruto learned that there was no 'Light' or 'Dark' side just the Force as he mastered all the Force Powers, Lightsaber techniques, and Jutsu both Ravan and Kyubi taught him. He had also mastered the Kekkei Genkai that Kyubi gave him, the Sharinnkugan. Now he was ready.
Wait, what?

Quote :
After leaving his planet Ibonish
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After leaving his planet Ibonish
Quote :
Ibonish
Quote :
SHINOBI
Really, author? You couldn't come up with a decent planet's name, you just rearrange the word Shinobi? If that's the extent of your creativity, I question the success this story will really have.

Quote :
Reviews:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
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Oh, FUCK ME!

Quote :
Turning around he saw the spirits of Ravan and Kyubi as he bowed before addressing them.

"Master Ravan, Master Kyubi thank you for teaching me all that you've taught me." Naruto said the two spirits nodded.
"I'll be sure to put my skills as a crossover Stu to good use."

Quote :
"You've learned well young Naruto. Go and take what we've taught you to help bring balance to the Force and peace to this galaxy." Raven said as Kyubi followed.

"Thank you for freeing me Naruto. I hope that all that I've taught you will prove valuable through your journey." Kyubi said as Naruto gave his trade mark fox grin.

"Don't worry about it Master Kyubi. You taught me well remember? Well I gotta go. Places to be, people to meet. Farewell."

With that said Naruto entered his fighter as he took off into space to start his journey.
Bolded because that's how it is in the story. Well as vague as that exposition is, Naruto goes on his way, I guess, eat Ramen.

Wait, no, he goes off to join the Clone Wars.

Meanwhile, in the Hall of Justice on Coruscant...
Quote :
Yoda along with the other Masters were suddenly forced out of their meditation as they felt a powerful ripple in the Force.

"Did you feel that?" Mundi asked as the council could not believe how powerful the serge they felt was.

"Hmm, troubling this is. Find answers, we must." Yoda said as the other members nodded while they went back to meditating about the war.

-Senate Building, Chancellor's office-

Darth Sidious eyes snapped open when he felt a powerful ripple in the Force; it was unlike anything he ever felt before.

'This feeling? Could it be…?' The dark lord thought as he decided to find answers.
I'm certain it's just a gas bubble in the Force or something. A Jedi died with indigestion after going to a Space Taco Bell that failed its health inspection.

One month later, on Christophsis--OK, I'm getting the vibe this author is just pulling worlds out of his ass and can't be orig--[checks Wookieepedia] well shit.

Anyway, Anakin and Obi-Wan are in the midst of fighting off a wave of Droids when Enter Naruto, stage right!
...
Wait a minute, a month? It took him a month to fly from wherever the hell just to get to Christophsis? What did he do, take a wrong turn at Oa? Explain, author!

In fact, if we just followed Naruto on his month-long journey, it might have been more interesting to read than this crap!

Quote :
"General, look out!" A clone warned but it was too late, Obi-wan turning just in time to see the droid about to kill him when a Lightsaber was thrown at the droid, slicing it before it could fire. Obi-wan was shock as the Lightsaber that cut down the droid was… silver? He followed the Lightsaber as it swung back into the hands of a cloaked figure on top of a building.

The figure jumped down next to Obi-wan as he took off his cloaked, revealing a blond haired blue eyed warrior in somewhat revealing clothing with fox ears and tail that couldn't be more than seventeen years old. The fox warrior now hand two silver Lightsabers in his hands as he held them in a reverse grip.
I wish I could make this up.

Quote :
"Yo need some help?" The blond warrior said to Obi-wan as the General acknowledged the newcomer.

"Yes but who are you?" Obi-wan asked as the warrior smiled.

"Call me Naruto, I'm a friend." The warrior said as he combined force jump and force speed together to leap in front of the AATs much to the Jedi Masters amazement.

Naruto spun in a circle as soon as he landed, cutting up a good number of droids before he threw his Lightsabers at the CIS forces, which cut through their ranks and jumped in the air to avoid getting shot. He foot landed on a droid's chest as he descended to the ground and used the force once more to propel himself back up while the droid's chest was blown away. Catching his Lightsabers in mid-air Naruto fell between two super's before slicing them up as he saw the droids surround him from all sides. Naruto spun his body around once more while twirling his Lightsabers in his hands, blocking and deflecting all the blasts shot at him back to the droids. He then jumped to cut off the cannon of an ATT and threw it into the third Tri-droid that the clones were firing at.
Way to Stu it out, Naruto! Not only did you smash droid into a a Force-Wall of Text, you managed to out-do Obi-Wan and Anakin in terms of combat.

Next thing you know, we'll have Sasuke as Dooku's new Sith Apprentice.

I'm cutting to the end, because the rest of it is boring drivel.

Quote :
"You know something tells me this was your idea from the start." Anakin said as he went to catch up with his Padawan while Obi-wan got in his fight and flew off towards Tatooine leaving Yoda alone with the fox boy."

"Young one, your name, I require." Yoda spoke.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, Master Yoda."

"Strong with the Force you are, why is that."

"You'll find out soon." Naruto said.
"A smart-ass, we do not like."

Quote :
"Indeed I will, When the mission is over, report to the Jedi Council you will, answer to our questions, you will answer." Yoda said as Naruto nodded in understanding and took off after Anakin and Ashoka.

'Strong this one is in the Force. Very strong.' Yoda thought as he wondered what the fate of the Order will be now that Naruto has joined them.
"Sense within him a Stu in coming chapters, I do."

All this story boils down is the the Clone Wars CGI movie, but with Naruto in it. That's pretty much all it is. It's sad, if you think about it.

Of course, we get this from the author:

Quote :
Hey everyone , sorry for all the late updates in my stories but I had to make this crossover for Challenger as I owe it to him. Anyway Naruto left his planet after his fight with Sasuke in the Valley of the End and is now a free-lance Jedi working for the Republic.

Also Naruto is the Chosen one in this story, not Anakin. MY WORD IS LAW! Moving on Naruto's Dojutsu is a fusion of the Sharingan and Rinnegan, No he won't have five other bodys, but he will be able to use jutsu's of every element.

Now on to business, I will be re-writing the first few chapters of 'Naruto Taishou' after that I will create a new story that will be a Naruto/Claymore crossover. Finally a poll is up for my 'Naruto the Transformer' story. Until then bye.


Last edited by TheIan on Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:34 am; edited 4 times in total
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Notanoni
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PostSubject: Re: Naruto? The Chosen One?   Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:36 pm

The author seems to be a specialist in Naruto crossovers.

Naruto and Transformers

Naruto and .hack/SIGN

Naruto and Final Fantasy
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PostSubject: Re: Naruto? The Chosen One?   Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:39 pm

Notanoni wrote:
The author seems to be a specialist in Naruto crossovers.

Naruto and Transformers

Naruto and .hack/SIGN

Naruto and Final Fantasy

Multiple crossovers of subject X with various others does not a specialist make.
An obsessive Naruto fan perhaps but being a specialist requires skill.
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