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 A bunch of different Naruto fics, one by one.

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Join date : 2012-10-15

PostSubject: A bunch of different Naruto fics, one by one.   Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:16 pm

Yup, doing another one, this one much more snark worthy. The broken blossom is by layshalovetheakatsuk on FF.net. I believe it is a troll, for the format of the story is so hideous and repulsive that no sane person could have wrote this. I think I'm gonna need help with this one. Thank God it's only two chapters long and only around 1,300 words.

Ayame: Wait, why am I here? I'm not even part of this fandom.

KF727: Doesn't matter; you're a ninja, and the female protagonist of your own series. I'm getting sick of all these Sakura fics where she's just pairing fodder; same with any other of the K12 girls and Tsunade/Karin etc. Plus, I needed a deadpan snarker and neither of my regulars wanted in on this.

Ayame: Damn, how'd I get roped into this one? How many fics are we going to do?

KF727: Hmm...I've found like two or three. They're quick and easy, hopefully.

Ayame: Are you a masochist?

KF: Possibly. I've never truly considered the question. Alright now onto the fic by layshalovetheakatsuk!


Ayame: That's nice. I've met dyslexic people who could spell better than this.

KF: I'm pretty sure most five year olds can do better. I won't be surprised if she ends up using this as her excuse.

Why did that bitch do this i did nothing wrong. They were my friends and my family I trust them. And they do this belive that slut over me. Fuck them and that village. they can all burn in the firer pits of hell. YOU GO OUTER inner where the hell have you been.sorry outer but i left to the darkest part of you mind cuz i thought you didn't want or need me. inner sakura said with a sad smile and glassly red eyes.

Ayame: Am I still in hell?

KF: No, but it sure looks like it.

Ayame: I can't read this...it's like she vomited on a keyboard.

KF: I'd say more like gave birth on one.

No your right inner i thoung i didn't need you. but i was wrong i need and want you back. YEAH IM NEVER GOING TO LEAVE YOU AGAINE. After all we are all we have now lests go. INNER AS LONG AS IM STILL IM STILL AFILE IM GOING TO BURN THIS VILLAGE TO THE GROUND THIS VILLAGE WILL NEVER RISE AGAING. right now lest get stonge.

Ayame: Wait, so Inner Sakura has angina?

KF: Seems she's lost some files too. Check the temp folder.

that was 2 years ago Im grown and got stonger over the last 2 years. Im 18 now a s-rank crimial. I still have my my cotten candy pink hair that i grow out. Now it goes down to my midd back im big green eyes never lost that innscent look unforunately. Maybe not it does help on misson they never see it going. Im more curvy now in all the rigth places. I have big boobs not to sound to selfconfint. But in the end im very pretty that what all the man say anyways be for i kill them. But after i kill them or if they make me mad i make them watch as i in plant chreey blosomes petals on there backs. It how I leave my mark.

Ayame: I think she means coming.

KF: THAT'S the one thing you choose to point out?

Ayame: So she looks the same, except apparently she's supposed to be sexier, and paints Cherry Blossoms on her dead victims bodies? These Naruto folks don't sound like real ninjas.

KF: They're more or less ninja wizards; more so the latter as the former element has almost vanished completely.

Ayame: I see...If she was a criminal, who would be giving her missions? Why would anyone want to work with a criminal besides trying to backstab her and get her killed or captured?

KF: Logic does not work with SI fics; just go with the flow. It'll be easier that way.

Im on my way to rain country I have to keep moving. Alot of people would like to see me died nver stay in a place for to long. I still hate the leaf with a passion Im still geting stonger every day i have onlock a lot of block off memorys that the leaf tryed to keep from me but thanks to inner i know now. im from a very stong clean of female fighter. female cuz l-o-o-g ago my clan was stong be for but got even stonger cuz the god of death and evil. Was lock insaid a young girl beacues of this my clan was favort of the gods and im the lost princess the demon was pass down. But they didn't like have talking people or a demon in there head so they rejeackt there inner and never was never eble to use it power.

KF: So she's a human container for a demon god now? Random clan that is stronger than anyone else? Check. I smell a Mary Sue.

Ayame: Glad my fandom doesn't have that many fanfics.

KF: Lost Princess too? There are no words right now. We must continue.

But i was diffent in more was then one first off Im the only one in my clan to have pink hair and green eyes most of the people in my clan as blood red like inner hair or sliver, they can really have jeat black hair only the person holding the demon has red eys like inner or gray but look at me now. huh i was the only one in my clan after the leaf attock the old farts thoung my can was to stong and thoungt my people would turn on them. But really in truth they were scard cuz when we get mad or we except ower inner we turn or if ower inner take over ower body when i transform i have pinkys whites hair with blood eyes that would but the taild best to shame. inner told me all of this god i love her so.

Ayame: Color changing hair and eyes, how original. I thought Rikimaru was bad with an eye technique out of nowhere, but at least it was re-gone.

KF: This is giving me a headache. So is this Inner her Inner Sakura or the demon god? I think it's Sakura but how the hell would she know this at all? Her Inner is just the reflection of her Inner side, kind of like the Shadows in Persona.

Onto Chapter 2.

charter 2 broken blossom Time skip of two days In rain

Ohh my kami it been so long since i had a hot bath and a nice warm bed al-

SHUT THE HELL UP OUTER you know why we can't take the streets. I know I'm just tired of running so much. And all of this damn ninja hunters. Then maybe you should of just stayed in the leaf.... sakura say some thing. No am not talking to you said sakura pushing inner away sakura knelt down on her knees but her hand flat on to the earth flat texture. her had trued green with chark. ( sakura chark is pink/blue/green-ish inner chark is a firer red)

Ayame: How can one's Ki be three colors?

KF: More traits that label her as a Sue. So is she mentally insane? Does she have multiple personality disorder? It sure seems like she has some problems going on here. I can't be damned to figure them out though.

thank you great earth for helping me on my journey. sakura said in the most softs voice. in return the earth made a unreal sound SA-KU-RA im sorry inner said with fake anime tears running down her face. i just role my eyes i got up of the ground start to walk to the nesters village ignoring inner protest. sakura are you crazy there could be ninja hunter in there. And the fucken akatsaki could be running around in there. inner i need some new close a hot bath and plus no hunter would be stupid enough to walk in there and im on there said now they have no reason to attack us.

what ever we got at lest 2-3 hours to we get to the nearts village

yea i new you still love me.

Two hours before sakura and inner got to rain

KF: They don't really pray or have much of a religion in Naruto, so why the sudden druidic thing going on here?

Have you seen a young woman with long pink hair with green eyes. A man with black hair and red eyes with moving things said in a very deep voice

n-n-no i-i hav-e se-en any wo-man with pi- the man spit up some blood. I if I find out that any of you lied or tell any one about this he had a smirk on his handsome face now you will all die. come on kisama-sama woh itach i never seen you get to work up what up. said a big muscular blue shark looking man to his partner. He just ignored the blue man a disappeared in to a big red cloud of smock the shark man soon followed.

Back with sakura P.O.V.

Ayame: So these are the ninja hunters?

KF: Terrorist organization actually. Have to have a common enemy that will bring everyone together right?Where are the quotation marks? What is happening? There are no actions in this sequence, no verbs at all really. How are supposed to know what is going on?

Ayame: Use our imagination, probably? Or the Suethor couldn't be half assed enough to write out a proper scene, much less a whole fanfic.

Some things not right what do you mean A we are in rain and shut up and let me finish

B it has not rain not once and not to mention the villager are scary shit less of us what up with that maybe people Findlay see how power we are hahaha evil laugh no that not it damn it outer always got to rune my fun. I what every but no jack what up. will why you was bitching I did a chark swipe I did find small trays of a very power full chark but it was not enough to till if we new them. wow inner I wouldn't know what to do with my self with out you. Why I was just chatting it up with inner I didn't see a very young man staring at me.

The young man P.O.V

That the woman that freak was talking about wow she is very beautiful I wonder what he wants with something so innocent. Maybe I should tell her but if I do he meant find out and kill me. Some thing soft touch me on my burnt arm.

don't worry im a medic ninja then her hand start to tuner green with some pink mix in it then my burnt arm tuend green I was scard at fist but it didn't hurt any more I felt nice. be for I new it it was over she started to walk a way I ginly grad her arm and thank you very much for healing me my vico got light there was this man with long black hair with red eyes and another guy or fish I don't know but they were here about two hours ago they were looking for you with that said I jump on to the wigan and yelled a goodbye and hit down the rode going to the next village that is miles away from here

Ayame: What the fuck just happened here? Why would she help someone if she is trying to avoid being caught? Won't that draw attention to her?

KF: And what the fuck is a 'vico'?

Ayame: vehicle? Vision? Viagra?

KF: Hopefully it's not the last one.

Sakua P.O.V

SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT THE HELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE. THEY COULD BE STILL IN THE AREA. damn it I should of listen I use inner chark to make us go faster than any ninja should go I had to get out of rain get they hell a way from anything rain damn it there are no more frosted around here I had to stop and think where the hell I should go. Umm miss I hope your not trying to leave the village are you?

I narrowed my eyes at the old man

why should I leave the village. Was just a the edge of the village border I unconsciously start to grip my ax/hammer that can change it size and other (thing but that not importan right now) it just that it a big stom coming how leader hower great and power god has been blocking most of the shomer but the barrier going to break soon but it still very dangers for some one so young to be out in this weather I have a inn just a few blocks from here. sakura we should stay till morning if what he says is and the young man from earlier said is true. We will not make it in a fight in the rain trust me sakura it will not end will Your right. ok I followed the old man back to the end. this could be a trap I know what to do I will just have to stay up all night. No you need your energy even if I take control your body needs to be in shap you know this. then what should I do I cant fall asleep so they could kill me in my sleep. I will keep watch over you why you sleep but if they do try any thing the bored is right there to hind and make owner escape

Ayame: Okay so things are starting to make sense now. She has no more frosted flakes and has to leave the village to get more.

KF: Makes about as much sense as anything else so far.

Ayame: And she has a hammeraxe that can shift its shape and size? And now there is a 'power god'?

KF: I think he means 'Pain' the village leader, whom the people see as a god. Honestly, this is where the fic ends and I'm tired so I can't do the rest just yet. This is all this particular author has written at this time, though.
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Join date : 2012-10-15

PostSubject: Re: A bunch of different Naruto fics, one by one.   Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:31 pm

Okay I think this is a troll; only way to explain this insanity.

I mean...I didn't think it could get worse, but BEHOLD chapter 3.

RECAP: why shouldn't I leave the village. I Was just a the edge of the village border I unconsciously start to grip my ax/hammer that can change it size and other (thing but that not important right now) it just that it a big storm coming how leader howler great and power god has been blocking most of the storm but the barrier going to break soon but it still very dangers for some one so young to be out in this weather I have a inn just a few blocks from here. sakura we should stay till morning if what he says is and the young man from earlier said is true. We will not make it in a fight in the rain trust me sakura it will not end will Your right. ok I followed the old man back to the end. this could be a trap I know what to do I will just have to stay up all night. No you need your energy even if I take control your body needs to be in shap you know this. then what should I do I cant fall asleep so they could kill me in my sleep. I will keep watch over you why you sleep but if they do try any thing the bored is right there to hind and make owner escape.

Blah, we already know this, we don't need a recap. that's why we can go back and forth between chapters,

(present time till walking to the inn)

Inner why is that we all ways the one that hiding we have power lets use it I haven't killed I'd even know when. sakura we a the devil in angles closes. I don't get it we appear to be fragile, innocent we could do know wrong but turn your back or let you gourd down we attack we show own true form when the time is right. Get it now I guess but im tire- um miss we are here come we got on in. we got ower room and I really like jump in to the shower o how I missed you oh clean one. Inner just rolled her eyes anter take a month long shower there was a knock on the door. I was till in my towl but I grad a weapon I open the door and my jaw drop in front of the dower was a moth watering food it was so much food the old man gave it to me on the house I said my thanks shut the door I eat all of the food I was so full I thought I was going to explode before I went to bed I remember that I have very high sent of smell and hearing. Because of inner my more demon said anime like. I smelled the air the old men was tilling the truth there was a storm coming it was all in the air. That was my last thought be for I was in the bed falling asleep.

Is she a new Gollum? Sakura's Inner Self is creeping me out here...I think she has schizophrenia. Only way to explain this travesty.

Inner P.O.V.

Sakura feel asleep knowing she was safe I'm happy that I finally found my hime I was never accepted by here mother grand mother and so on they hate me because I was a demon that they steal a way. They should be happy that I didn't kill every last one of them and just end the curs. But that in the past I have my hime I will be with her for ever even when she has kids I will still be with her I will end it with her she is different from her family for on she has pink hair not even her mother father grand mother any one in her family had it and fucken green eyes were did that come from but I love this was I don't have to remember all of those other bastard I will not fail her as she will not fail me. I will not let her fall like her family she will live on and I should till her soon she is a immortal.

Okay so her Inner thoughts is actually the demon. Well, I did not expect that. In the show it's basically her thoughts that are repressed and she's too scared to say out loud.

Akatsuki hind out



Zetsu did you find any thing on her.

Yes leader when Itach-san and fish face- I mean kisame-san were in the village we got a message from the earth say-

Zetsu call a group meeting we will continue on a later time- said pein leader of the group.

(Time skip A the meeting )

All of you will head out a look for sakura haruno she is very power full so do not swerh this up we need her. I will not tolerate faille. Leader-sama this the girl that killed sasior-no danna. shut it fag doll said sasior who is now human to deidara. silence she will be joining the group as the meadic and will go on missions when she as gand owner trust. And not run away. Leader finest up.

Why in the hell would we want a weak pink head bitch as owner medic she won't last 5 minutes I sa- *slap* what the fuck kakuzu you money fucking basturd why you hit me. Shut up be for I rip you apart

she is a missing ninja from the leaf she is a s-class crimal do not let her innocents look fool you she killed many clans and ninja stong ninja this will not be a walk in the park. The last place she was seen was in the frost she could be on her way to the village not to far for the frost check the frost and the village you are to go after the storm past. dismiss Said leader-sama

(akatsuki aka for short)

In the dead of night the aka are now intering in to the village not to far for the inn sakura is staying at. after coming empty searching the frost for a half and hour and hearing hidan bitch all night.

Type out Akatsuki you lazy...author. I swear to god, there's no commas or periods in this thing. Count 'em. Not a one,well hardly any. I can count them on both my hands.


RECAPE:In the dead of night the aka are now intering in to the village not to far for the inn Sakura is staying at. after coming empty hand from searching the frost for a half hour and hearing Hidan bitch all night.

(Present time)

They start to search all over the town some check the back allys (Deidara,Hidan and Tobi) the more smart ones check the inns. where the fuck is the bitch we been looking for her all damn night when I get my hand on her Im going to sacrifice her to the great Jashin-Sama. Hidan yelled at the to of his lungs. Shut up dum ass we are not killing her. The oh so reasonable Kisame said.

Okay if its says Hidan is with X,Y,Z, why the hell is Kisame speaking? It makes no sense.

Fuck you fish-face the-Jashin lover said

By now Kisame was fucking heat it. He pulled out his samaheda read to spill the blood of the immortal man

Both of he stop it after we check this last two inns than we will head back to the base and fishes this tomorrow. Itch said

Inner Sakura P.O.V

this has to be a troll. No way its not; I mean look at it. Spelling ITACHI as Itch, and other grammar errors. Block of text warning up ahead.

Damn it why didn't I feel them early I'm guess cuz Sakura sleep whatever the reason is we need to get out damn it if I wake her she going to take control and try fight them my her self shit. I start to get up Sakura being the ninja she is feels her self moving wake up read to fight what going on inner why are we up sakura shut up and listen I start to move again pulling up her tight back short short and blood red skirt and are black shirt on. ok inner there are 7 (there are only 7 coming after her Konan, Pein and Zetsu stayed back) chark signatures coming this why wh-didn't I just say shut up and lishen to me. Sorry Sakura but this is serious I said why I but on owe big sword and ax/hammer on owe back. It the Akatsuki they don't know where we are. do you know who they are yes I know most of them Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, SASORI. I don't recognize the other 3 ohh shit Sasori is still a live damn it ok inner what the plan wow outer I thought you wound be going crazy. I know this is very bad and it know time to be playing around it life or death now let go before they now where we are at you take control for away but any slip ups and I'm taking over or till we start to fight but I trust you. damn I forgot how she is when see is on a mission or about to make a kill damn the leaf really did do some thing right they made a strong ninja I thoung as I jump out of the window running fast but not fast enough for them to feel my chark even if they did they wound think it Sakura. I was getting to the border when a 3 head scythe all most cut of owe head shit it Hidan I remember him for the bingo book he must be the other 3 I didn't know of. Now that they know where we are I can use owe chark I will never till her but owe chark is stronger together. I could feel Sakura is on edge about this but trust me to get us out of the big ass mises

Damn it Hidan we all most had here what the hell we want her to join not fuckien kill her said a very anger-Deidara said

Deidara p.o.v

Why I'm I so mad about Hidan for almost taking her head of maybe because he let her get away yea that it because he let her get a way now we have to search for her tomorrow. Now but he had a funny feeling in his gut that was not why he was mad

I have no idea what's going on here. They apparently cornered her, then Sakura managed to escape. and why is the author going to try and pair her up with Deidara of all things. People like shipping the Naruto women with either him, Tobi, Hidan, Itachi or sasori. I've never understood why.

Moving onto ch5 since its so short.


Yes, caps lock is perfectly acceptable to get your point across. Not like your shouting in room full of people or anything...oh wait.


I watch as my body moved forward. I heard voices not to far way yelling, Inner what are we going to do now they are not to far away I know I'm just looking for a cleaning big enough for us to fight. We need to think of a plan got any ideas yeah well no but it better than nothing your going to fight them as long as you can. Use up all of your chark than when they think they got you I'm going to take over and why they are in shock im use blooms massacre got it? Inner that will never work they will see right though that plan they will tell I'm not using my full strength. I didn't say you couldn't use your full power just don't use mine. We can't fail inner we can't I don't want it to be like the leaf we are not going to be use like a weapon. inner did not say any thing she just kelp moving. When she got to the cleanring inner let outer sakura take over

Fuck she getting away they where close on her but she was going faster then them. She start to slow down that confused them she could of got away. But then the realization hit them when they show the big clearing she plan to fight them head on most smirk (Itachi, Kisame, and Sasior but you couldn't till under his mask) some thought she was foolish for this. (Kakuzu, Hidan, and deidara. But know one could see Tobi sick looking smile. They never seen her fight so they don't know her fighting style.)

Okay note how the grammar and things get better in the () parts. This is another sign that this person is probably a troll. OR just as lazy as utter fuck. GODDAMIT, this thing has 7 reviews. WHAT the fuck?

Kisama P.O.V

I would like to see what she can do what leader told us about her is kinda hard to believe she looks like she could hurt a fly but when you look in to her eyes you could she was not scard or was as innocent as she looks she kinda cute. BOOM what the hell was that kisame you should be day dreaming on a mission said Mr. stick up my ass (Itachi) haha yeah sorry I turn back around to see what was going on

Hidan come at her first with his scythe she moved out they way be for he cut her she kick im in the stom make him fly back but he did cut a big chung of her hair off damn I missed my chant to see her fighting style. But if she could knock hidan out in that short of time she must be stong. I look around most of the members where in shock I'm going to be next to fight her.

boring fight scene with Hidan beating Sakura. Or at least matching her. Kisame is slightly OOC here, as he is a huge combat/fight enthusiast, he'd love to watch people fight. Though he likes to battle more.

Sakura P.O.V.

I was still in mind air when kakuzu, hidan partern use is black theird grapping my legs and my whist but be for he could do any thing else I did a hand sigh making me disapper in to a swire of cherry blossoms from his therds. I went down in to the earth. I was right under him I was fast to fast for him to stop the blow. I came for under the grond and puch him with a chark filled fist knocking him back a couple of tress. Kisame jump in be for kakuzu could act again.

kisame was next he new some of my fighting style when I was still with the leaf but I already got a plan for him .

At the same time they grip the back of there weapons they be again fighting.

Itachi P.O.V

Hn another life the leaf has destroyed she will fit in just fine. I think we can fix what been broken.

Kakuzu P.O.V.

Money money money money this lil woman will be very expensive but im also guessing she could keep those retards in line. What broken can be fix

Nobody P.O.V.

Moire bullshit by the author so no one can kill Sakura Sue. Oh boy, this is gonna be interesting. Not.

Back to Sakura and Kisama battle also Deidara jump in Hahaha I don't remember the last time I had to fight some one and was actly having fun HAHAH pinky why don't you join the akatsuki every one watching just sigh in shock and irritation. W-w-hat damn it we got another dumb one. What the hell you don't just shot thing like that out fish-face what you say Barbie now Deidara was red he put his hands in his back pock and the next thing you see is a very purple Kisame out of anger at the arties for trying to bomb him. Sakura was turning red trying her hardies to hold her laughter in but failed hahahahahahahahahaha pant hahhahaha oh my god I cant belive you too hahaha in sakura thoughts hmmm I can't even remember the last time I laugh this hard. may be there not so bad we should go with them and se- what the hell inner they are the enemy will you seem to forgot that you where just laughing your ass of. And if thing don't turn out will we could just escape. ok inner if you feel this strongly about it but one wrong move than I'm fucking halt ass. And never look back.

I guess I was talking to inner to long cuz they all where just staring at me I blush. Ummm ok I will join but one wrong move then I'm halting ass the other way got it. I look around to fined the cleaning was a mess tress where knock over the ground was on even had big grater's I kina filled bad cuz I made most of this mess with my great ax/hammer I did rear jutsus that heals the earth and me but for some reason every time I do the damn jutsus my fucking hair grows down to my fucken knees and for the fast growth breaking my rube ban now all of my hair was out I could she a damn thing.

Akatsuki members thoughts

Leader-Sama we got Sakura to join the akatsuki what do you want us to do now. me and konan are um busy right now in a mission in snow we want be back for another month or so your next mission is to fix Haruno gain her trust and when I get back she better be ready to join as a full blood member and keep her safe I would want any thing to happen to my niece. the telepathic line end they where in shock they didn't even move

NEICE!? shut up author. sakura cannot be a descendant of Nagato, for various reasons that I won't bore you with. basically its impossible, and would make canon explode. So okay, random criminal organization has taken Sakura in. Why? Do I really care? No, but I need to get better at snarking so I'm putting myself through this shit.
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A bunch of different Naruto fics, one by one.
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