Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

ANYONE WANNA SEE A KIDS MOVIE STARRING ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, AND KEVIN JAMES!?!?!?

OMG IT'S LIKE GROWN-UPS BUT ANIMATED! I'M EXCITED!

Mr.Doobie wrote:

ANYONE WANNA SEE A KIDS MOVIE STARRING ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, AND KEVIN JAMES!?!?!?

OMG IT'S LIKE GROWN-UPS BUT ANIMATED! I'M EXCITED!

I do, but I'm afraid I'll be busy contracting Syphillis that week. Far more preferable.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

ANYONE WANNA SEE A KIDS MOVIE STARRING ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, AND KEVIN JAMES!?!?!?

Hell no.

Hot Cancer wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

ANYONE WANNA SEE A KIDS MOVIE STARRING ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, AND KEVIN JAMES!?!?!?

OMG IT'S LIKE GROWN-UPS BUT ANIMATED! I'M EXCITED!

I do, but I'm afraid I'll be busy contracting Syphillis that week. Far more preferable.

I actually heard that it's an adorable movie from some of my friends.

On the other hand, if another person tells me "GO SEE 'TED', IT'S SO FUNNY!!!", I will punch them right in the mouth. Fuck Seth MacFarlane.

Yeah, I dunno guys, that actually looks kinda funny and cute.

Penguin wrote:

Yeah, I dunno guys, that actually looks kinda funny and cute.

The only time post-Chris Farley I ever enjoyed anything David Spade was in was "The Emperor's New Groove", and even that was pushing it. Everyone just liked that movie for Eartha Kitt and Joe Swanson (because I don't know the name of the actor).

Now add Adam Sandler. Even if it is good, I'll probably still hate it because of the supreme negative bias I'll go in with...

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Yeah, I dunno guys, that actually looks kinda funny and cute.

The only time post-Chris Farley I ever enjoyed anything David Spade was in was "The Emperor's New Groove", and even that was pushing it. Everyone just liked that movie for Eartha Kitt and Joe Swanson (because I don't know the name of the actor.

Patrick Warburton. And yeah, David Spade annoys the hell out of me. I can't really put a finger on why, but when I see him on TV, I desperately want to smack that look off his face.

It might be an okay movie. My folks went to see it the other night* and reported back that it was "cute." Which, coming from my mother, could mean everything from it was adorable to it was barely passable. Apparently, it has its moments and some funny characters, but on the whole, not particularly impressive. I'll wait to see it until it comes out on Netflix so I can heckle freely if it turns out to be crap.



*My parents go to the strangest movies for date night--either it's something cloyingly sweet or horrifically gory (but they usually save that for Valentine's Day). Take their reviews with a grain of salt.

Lemmy wrote:

*My parents go to the strangest movies for date night--either it's something cloyingly sweet or horrifically gory (but they usually save that for Valentine's Day)

Said the living Injury Report as if it didn't just raise more questions.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Lemmy wrote:

*My parents go to the strangest movies for date night--either it's something cloyingly sweet or horrifically gory (but they usually save that for Valentine's Day)

Said the living Injury Report as if it didn't just raise more questions.

Yeah, pretty much. I'd offer up that they met on an ambulance and got their black belts together as answers, but these facts probably just raise more questions instead.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

The only time post-Chris Farley I ever enjoyed anything David Spade was in was "The Emperor's New Groove", and even that was pushing it.

Thanks to trailers telegraphing the shitty, I've managed to avoid David Spade outside of anything other than old SNL reruns.

Quote :

Now add Adam Sandler. Even if it is good, I'll probably still hate it because of the supreme negative bias I'll go in with...

Without irony: Sounds like a personal problem.

Seriously, Sandler has proven that as long as he's not playing himself (fucktard is better than non-tards because non-tards are evil, fucktard proves this and gets girl) he's actually a capable actor.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Yeah, I dunno guys, that actually looks kinda funny and cute.

The only time post-Chris Farley I ever enjoyed anything David Spade was in was "The Emperor's New Groove", and even that was pushing it. Everyone just liked that movie for Eartha Kitt and Joe Swanson (because I don't know the name of the actor).

Actually in the movie it was John Goodman. Patrick Warburton did the sequel and following series.

TheIan wrote:

Actually in the movie it was John Goodman. Patrick Warburton did the sequel and following series.

Nah, Patrick Warburton was playing the henchman in the first one, John Goodman was John Goodman as a Mayan (?) peasant.

I didn't mention John Goodman because I think a lot more people can agree the movie was made a lot better through the chemistry of Warburton/Kitt than the mere presence of John Goodman.

But seriously, I think John Goodman is a talented and versatile actor. Plus, he's John Goodman.

Quote :

Without irony: Sounds like a personal problem.

I had to watch "8 Crazy Nights" one too many times and hear his "album"...

Quote :

he's actually a capable actor.

Do I need to watch Spanglish?

Spoonman wrote:

Do I need to watch Spanglish?

No, you need to watch Happy Gilmore.

Go watch that movie, absorb its message, and then come back to this thread.

Also, David Spade was great in Emperor's New Groove.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Do I need to watch Spanglish?

I was thinking more along the lines of Click or Anger Management.

Quote :

No, you need to watch Happy Gilmore.

Go watch that movie, absorb its message, and then come back to this thread.

I thought that Pengy said not to watch a movie where Adam Sandler was playing a fuck.

Quote :

I was thinking more along the lines of Click

Saw Click. Didn't like it.

Like most Adam Sandler movies it suffered from not being able to tell if it wanted to be sentimental or mean-spirited, and pulled off neither particularly well.

As far as Adam Sandler movies, I will say this (and shit will go down like the economy), I liked Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer and Big Daddy. Those were probably the only three movies of his I can watch without feeling my soul slowly die.

TheIan wrote:

As far as Adam Sandler movies, I will say this (and shit will go down like the economy), I liked Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer and Big Daddy. Those were probably the only three movies of his I can watch without feeling my soul slowly die.

I'm pretty sure elsewhere in this thread I've promoted Mean Machine.

I think the only other one of his films I've seen is Little Nicky.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

No, you need to watch Happy Gilmore.

Go watch that movie, absorb its message, and then come back to this thread.

I thought that Pengy said not to watch a movie where Adam Sandler was playing a fuck.

Quote :

I was thinking more along the lines of Click

Saw Click. Didn't like it.

Like most Adam Sandler movies it suffered from not being able to tell if it wanted to be sentimental or mean-spirited, and pulled off neither particularly well.

1.) His name is Penny.
2.) He wasn't playing a fuck in Happy Gilmore. At least when you compare it to the retards he plays in most of his movies.
3.) Click was bad, Anger Management is great.

lemmingwriter wrote:

yeah, David Spade annoys the hell out of me. I can't really put a finger on why, but when I see him on TV, I desperately want to smack that look off his face.

I have the same problem with Will Ferrell. My God but that face makes me angry.

Interesting thing about Happy Gilmore: Because of that movie, several driving ranges in my area had to actually add the rule "No Happy Gilmores". Apparently, they wanted to avoid people trying to emulate that running up drive that he did.

Why doesn't anyone seem to understand that Leatherface needs his family to play off of to truly achieve the magic of the original?

Otherwise it's just a faceless guy with a chainsaw carving up vapid teenagers for 2 hours. Which is exactly what this looks like it's going to be.

Also, the title doesn't make any sense. What's so special about a Texas chainsaw? Is Texas known for its chainsaws now? Are Texas chainsaws particularly good at killing people? Kind of like a Kentucky rifle? Only with teenagers instead of British people?

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

So... I once asked my fellow film students & a couple of lecturers whether someone might try to create a parody of those "Epic Movie" type films, and whether they thought it was possible.

If they made a film deliberately unfunny and unironically offensive... would they have succeeded in making the parody?


I wonder if that's what this one is going for?

For the record, the story revolves around a magic iPad through which a whole bunch of User-Submitted "comedy" Apps escape into the real world... Considering the level of comedy you find on Newgrounds/Descructoid or whatever... This /could/ be self aware and an attempt at this...

...

Hang on... BRB the heroin is wearing off.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

what the fuck is this bullshit

Cyberwulf wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

what the fuck is this bullshit

It appears someone tried to parody the horribly unfunny X Movie (Epic Movie, Date Movie, really anything after Scary Movie 3) by making a horribly unfunny movie.