Movies we can expect to see in a few decades, based on current trends

In 10, 25, 50 or 100 years time, what sort of movies will evolving social trends throw up? Well, thanks to my crystal ball, I can now reveal a few!

-The 14 Year Old Virgin: A young man is ridiculed by his friends (and the scriptwriters) for not having gotten laid yet at a ridiculously late age, because he preferred to spend time pursuing his hobbies rather than chasing girls. Eventually, he falls in love with a single mother his own age.

-Earth Wars: The Phantom Menace: A long time ago, in a faraway place where people live on planetary surfaces rather than in space habitats, a trade dispute escalates into a war.

-The Dan Brown Code: A middle-aged female professor and a good-looking young male cryptologist investigate a conspiracy that seeks to conceal a shocking truth: Jesus Christ was not a rabble-rouser turned family man, but a semi-divine messiah with supernatural powers!

-Walt Disney's The Ring of the Nibelung: Kiddified version (some things never change) of the old Norse/Germanic fairytale. An over-the-top villainous dwarf voiced by the computerized mind of Tim Curry and his wacky animal sidekick (the dwarf's wacky animal sidekick, not Tim Curry's wacky animal sidekick) create a ring with the power to rule the world, but is thwarted by buxom, spunky, dreamy heroine Brunnhilde and blue-eyed warrior Siegfried. Along the way they fall in love and learn many lessons about friendship, tolerance and the importance of being true to oneself. They don't, however, learn what 'be true to yourself' actually means.

-BloodRayne 42: Hyperspace Boogaloo: Horrendously awful videogame adaptation sequel, directed by clone Uwe Boll IV (remember how I said some things never change?).

-Die Hard 27: Aliens And Predators Terminate Rocky And Rambo: Action sequel, starring Bruce Willis VI, Sylvester Stallone V and Robo-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Time to roll out the "Star Trek XII: So Very Tired" joke...

Well, I don't know what you'd call it, but the movie where Tim Burton finally just starts sucking his own cock in between screams of "YES! YES! I LOVE ME! I AM THE GREATEST!" should be out in a couple of years.

Delcat wrote:

Well, I don't know what you'd call it, but the movie where Tim Burton finally just starts sucking his own cock in between screams of "YES! YES! I LOVE ME! I AM THE GREATEST!" should be out in a couple of years.

Starring Johnny Depp and soundtrack by Danny Elfman.

Mafiosa wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Well, I don't know what you'd call it, but the movie where Tim Burton finally just starts sucking his own cock in between screams of "YES! YES! I LOVE ME! I AM THE GREATEST!" should be out in a couple of years.

Starring Johnny Depp and soundtrack by Danny Elfman.

Come on, those are the two things he's been consistently getting right over the years.

TheHedonist wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Well, I don't know what you'd call it, but the movie where Tim Burton finally just starts sucking his own cock in between screams of "YES! YES! I LOVE ME! I AM THE GREATEST!" should be out in a couple of years.

Starring Johnny Depp and soundtrack by Danny Elfman.

Come on, those are the two things he's been consistently getting right over the years.

Danny Elfman is chained up in Tim Burton's basement. Every night he cries silently and drinks his tears, as he know he only gets precious water and a scrap of bread if he finishes another zany sounding soundtrack for Burton's new film.

Depp has been stuffed with sawdust and is made to look like he moves using stop motion animation.

Mafiosa wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Well, I don't know what you'd call it, but the movie where Tim Burton finally just starts sucking his own cock in between screams of "YES! YES! I LOVE ME! I AM THE GREATEST!" should be out in a couple of years.

Starring Johnny Depp and soundtrack by Danny Elfman.

You forgot a gothed-up Helena Bonham Carter.

Mafiosa wrote:

Depp has been stuffed with sawdust and is made to look like he moves using stop motion animation.

Yeah, like he's actually used stop-motion since Henry Selick pulled up stakes...

I probably don't have to make any The Land before Time movie jokes...

Keithy wrote:

-Die Hard 27: Aliens And Predators Terminate Rocky And Rambo: Action sequel, starring Bruce Willis VI, Sylvester Stallone V and Robo-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So he'd be a really for real Terminator?

Disney's record breaking 500th shitty CGI kid's movie that will still make money because kids are INCREDIBLY fucking stupid and the parents have to buy a ticket even though watching these movies makes anyone over the age of 12 want to kill themselves.

Obviously it's a working title.

Just to save the inevitable trolls the trouble:

Sequel to Movie That I Suspect Many People At WGW Like XXVIII: Even The First One Sucked Anyway.

Within twenty years, every movie in theatres today will be remade. Even the shitty ones. Even the ones that are already remakes.

Raine wrote:

I probably don't have to make any The Land before Time movie jokes...

The Land before Time: Before Time Even Existed

Also, because I read somewhere that Marvel/Disney was considering making a movie about the New Mutants:

X-Men 25: The Very Very Old Mutants

Rabid Badger wrote:

X-Men 25: The Very Very Old Mutants

It will exist. And it will be a romance comedy to boot full of jokes about Storm's saggy boobs, Wolverine's erectile dysfunction, and Gambit pissing all over himself.

Rabid Badger wrote:

The Land before Time: Before Time Even Existed

Heeeeey, you've got a point. Why aren't the movies going backwards? I mean granted, by the rate they've been going they'd be somewhere around the Heavy Bombardment Period by now if that was the case, but it'd still beat Littlefoot and the Search for the Hurfosaurus or whatever they're shitting out lately.

The Alien from Uranus wrote:

...and Gambit pissing all over himself.

Except when he's not drunk this time.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Keithy wrote:

-Die Hard 27: Aliens And Predators Terminate Rocky And Rambo: Action sequel, starring Bruce Willis VI, Sylvester Stallone V and Robo-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So he'd be a really for real Terminator?

Disney's record breaking 500th shitty CGI kid's movie that will still make money because kids are INCREDIBLY fucking stupid and the parents have to buy a ticket even though watching these movies makes anyone over the age of 12 want to kill themselves.

Obviously it's a working title.

Uh, Disney's CGI movies are the only ones worth seeing, at this point.

TheHedonist wrote:

Uh, Disney's CGI movies are the only ones worth seeing, at this point.

Princess and the Frog was amazing. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Actually, it was quite good.

Hmmm... in a few years Disney will be bringing out the Disney version of Xena: Warrior Princess.

Or maybe it'll be Disney movifying my book.

What? It's not so hard to believe. If they managed to strip the sex, rape, adultery and incest out of Hercules, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Hamlet (by which I mean The Lion King) and Romeo and Juliet (by which I mean TLK2) they can strip it out of UnEarthed too.

Hey, an aspiring millionairre can dream.

Trioculus wrote:

Within twenty years, every movie in theatres today will be remade. Even the shitty ones. Even the ones that are already remakes.

In the future, movies will be remade before they even hit the theater.

EileenK98 wrote:

In the future, movies will be remade before they even hit the theater.

Sort of like instant cassettes?

EileenK98 wrote:

Trioculus wrote:

Within twenty years, every movie in theatres today will be remade. Even the shitty ones. Even the ones that are already remakes.

In the future, movies will be remade before they even hit the theater.

We're actually not far off that already - IIRC, the American remake of Let The Right One In was announced before it had even been released in American theatres.

My greatest fear is that somebody will take it into their head to do a remake of Heaven's Gate or Ishtar.