Horror Movies Which Make You Scream and Run... for all the wrong reasons

I watched House of Wax and Cry Wolf earlier this week. I rented them for free and I still paid too much. I rented them for one reason. Jared Padalecki. I knew he died in House of Wax.
Cry Wolf was just awful. It was unrated and there weren't even any boobies. There was just lots of fake blood and masturbation jokes. Oh Jared, how you disapointed me there. At least Jon Bon Jovi's character died. And poor Gary Cole must have been hard up for money or something to agree to do that movie.

What, no mention of Paris Hilton getting pwnt? And what's wrong with Bon Jovi anyway?

His character in the movie was a real jerk. Or maybe he was just manipulated to be a jerk. There was a 'twist' ending that was really stupid.
But at least Jared's character lived in that one. Even if he was a jerk.
And by the time Paris died in House of Wax I just didn't care anymore. Although the scene with the house collapsing and melting was cool.

Fun fact about Orphan: Proportionate dwarfism is actually a form of primordial dwarfism. As in, the kind with very distinct and recognizable physical abnormalities. As in, there's no way in hell they look like typical children, or children at all. GG research team, GG.

Have I mentioned Boogeyman here? That has become the new level by which I measure a bad horror movie. I adore Eric Kripke, but what the hell was happening in that movie? I wanted so badly to hurt somebody after that, preferably Barry Watson. Nothing really happened for about an hour and then a bunch of stuff happened that made no sense. The deleted scenes and alternate ending didn't make anything clearer. And they made at least two sequels? No way am I even attempting those.
Finally watched the new Friday the 13th. Hated just about everybody in that movie. Spent most of it waiting for one character to die and was glad when he finally did. At least Jared Padalecki's character lived. Or so it seems. He was still alive at the end, but that doesn't mean anything in Friday the 13th. I predict he will die in the sequel, which is rumored to be in pre-production.
They did kill off the likeable female character. Hated that. And all the sex. No way am I letting my neice watch this. She's too young.
But Jared looked great in that tight grey t-shirt. Yummy.

The thing about killing off the interesting characters, is that they're interesting because the writer needs to make them interesting so that you care when they die.

So generally, the more interesting the character, the more likely they are to die. Or do something else that kills them.

Considering there were only two likeable characters in the whole movie, I guess it was only a matter of time before one of them died.
Since Jared's character (Clay) was the only main character who wasn't a pot smoking pervert douche, it wasn't that surprising that he survived. He didn't break the major rules.

Comedy trailer for The Wicker Man
(yes, it sounds better as a comedy)
and the most hilarious scene of the movie put to music

Also, Alien Resurrection.

I just finished Paranormal Activity. I want my time and brains back. That was an hour and a half of nothing. I think it surpassed Boogeyman as my new level to measure horror movies by.
OMG, it was actually painful to watch.

Working at hollywood video for a time in highschool I was exposed to some really horrid films.
Leprechauns 2, Leprechaun in Space, Leprechaun in the Hood...and sadly enough Leprechaun in the Hood 2: Back in The Hood. Just in case the title Leprechaun in the Hood doesn't scare you off enough they made a second one starring Ice T and Coolio.

Then of coarse there are all the Evil Dead Movies, which are just so bad that they are awesome.

Renew_light wrote:

Then of coarse there are all the Evil Dead Movies, which are just so bad that they are awesome.

Fucking cunt.

VileCorp wrote:

Renew_light wrote:

Then of coarse there are all the Evil Dead Movies, which are just so bad that they are awesome.

Fucking cunt.

Way to add to the conversation, Viley.

Maximilia wrote:

Way to add to the conversation, Viley.

Sorry, it was a knee jerk.

But seriously, anyone who dares to badmouth Evil Dead films, is going to get a surprise skull fucking.

VileCorp wrote:

Maximilia wrote:

Way to add to the conversation, Viley.

Sorry, it was a knee jerk.

But seriously, anyone who dares to badmouth Evil Dead films, is going to get a surprise skull fucking.

While I agree with you that anyone who doesn't like the Evil Dead movies deserves a surprise tree rape is slightly off in their tastes, Renewed DID say they were so bad they were awesome. Which, I think they meant more 'campy' than bad, at least the second two. The original Evil Dead is surprisingly creepy. I remember watching it one day all like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, cabin, evil book, tree rape... whoa, hey, that's sorta creepy..." and then being glued to the television.

As part of my 'RJ Reviews Australia' series, I decided to have a look at some Aussie horror films.

THE HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT MAKES ME HATE MY COUNTRY.

Raine wrote:

As part of my 'RJ Reviews Australia' series, I decided to have a look at some Aussie horror films.

THE HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT MAKES ME HATE MY COUNTRY.

I love that one. It is deliciously, deliciously horrible. <3 Best watched with popcorn and a 5th of something alcoholic.

rae wrote:

Raine wrote:

As part of my 'RJ Reviews Australia' series, I decided to have a look at some Aussie horror films.

THE HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT MAKES ME HATE MY COUNTRY.

I love that one. It is deliciously, deliciously horrible. <3 Best watched with popcorn and a 5th of something alcoholic.

Oh definitely. XD Most of the Howlings are good for a laugh, at least.

Maximilia wrote:

rae wrote:

Raine wrote:

As part of my 'RJ Reviews Australia' series, I decided to have a look at some Aussie horror films.

THE HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT MAKES ME HATE MY COUNTRY.

I love that one. It is deliciously, deliciously horrible. <3 Best watched with popcorn and a 5th of something alcoholic.

Oh definitely. XD Most of the Howlings are good for a laugh, at least.

As a horror movie they're somewhat terrible, but as comedies they're brilliant. But the special effects in number 3 were just so... ugh. They swung around from being kinda cool to be completely narm.

Delcat wrote:

I feel sorry for Shymalan, really. He started off with his best film and he's been trying to live up to that image ever since.

Does excuse The Happening, though.

Yeah mostly because he worked on his first movie for some time before it was actually made so it was the best version of his idea it could be, then when it was a hit they started asking him for more, more, more so he banged out something they could put up on the screen, which is how he ended up at Narfs and Scrunts which made no sense to anyone mainly because we aren't all living inside M.Night Shyamalan's head.

That's my theory anyway.

I would like to Nth Jennifer's Body, but I only got as far as black vomit on the kitchen floor before I switched it off and watched something else. I assume it got worse.

Can I also put in a vote for 'Wolf Creek' which descended into a nonsensical mess after the brainy but not at all attractive heroine escaped from the deranged serial killer and then for no apparent reason came back to watch home movies of all the other people he'd killed.

I would have been horrified at the bloodshed but I was too busy yelling 'Are you out of your mind?' at my television set.

JadeAngel wrote:

Can I also put in a vote for 'Wolf Creek' which descended into a nonsensical mess after the brainy but not at all attractive heroine escaped from the deranged serial killer and then for no apparent reason came back to watch home movies of all the other people he'd killed.

I would have been horrified at the bloodshed but I was too busy yelling 'Are you out of your mind?' at my television set.

Considering this was "based off real events", it's quite shameful.

Raine wrote:

JadeAngel wrote:

Can I also put in a vote for 'Wolf Creek' which descended into a nonsensical mess after the brainy but not at all attractive heroine escaped from the deranged serial killer and then for no apparent reason came back to watch home movies of all the other people he'd killed.

I would have been horrified at the bloodshed but I was too busy yelling 'Are you out of your mind?' at my television set.

Considering this was "based off real events", it's quite shameful.

It's "based off real events" like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based off real events. In other words: loosely. Very, very loosely.

Maximilia wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Ghost Ship

About a guy who's cursed to use gold as bait for killing people on ships and ferrying around their souls. Or something. And a ghost ship.

Not the very, very worst film you'll ever see, but unbearably DULL, with about a million plotholes, and a really, REALLY apalling ending that SCREAMS "Insert Sequel Here" but never got around to it, thank GOD.

Holy shit, I agree with Harley, completely. The only thing Ghost Ship had going for it was Gabriel Byrne--who I think must have needed the money.

Either that or he was on drugs when the movie was pitched to him.

hey now i liekd ghost ship it was fun and karl urban has a spankable bootay

SirDixonDongs wrote:

hey now i liekd ghost ship it was fun and karl urban has a spankable bootay

That he does.

he was really fun in "price of milk," that was a good movie