Horror Movies Which Make You Scream and Run... for all the wrong reasons

Renew_light wrote:

Working at hollywood video for a time in highschool I was exposed to some really horrid films.
Leprechauns 2, Leprechaun in Space, Leprechaun in the Hood...and sadly enough Leprechaun in the Hood 2: Back in The Hood. Just in case the title Leprechaun in the Hood doesn't scare you off enough they made a second one starring Ice T and Coolio.

Don't forget the graphic novel, from the people who brought you the Stephenie Meyer biography comic.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Renew_light wrote:

Working at hollywood video for a time in highschool I was exposed to some really horrid films.
Leprechauns 2, Leprechaun in Space, Leprechaun in the Hood...and sadly enough Leprechaun in the Hood 2: Back in The Hood. Just in case the title Leprechaun in the Hood doesn't scare you off enough they made a second one starring Ice T and Coolio.

Don't forget the graphic novel, from the people who brought you the Stephenie Meyer biography comic.

Lionsgate, released a 5 DVD boxset of the Leprechaun movies in the U.K...

I watched Paranormal Activity last weekend and was bored to death. I guess it's one of those movies you were supposed to catch in the theater. It's kind of hard to hear subtle noises when you have kids playing in the next room. I wasn't scared at all, especially since the big shock at the end was already spoiled in the trailer.

Yeah, I heard Paranormal Activity was pretty bad, like The Blair Witch Project except indoors.

Really? I really liked Paranormal Activity. But I'd never seen the trailers for it, and I watched it in a quiet house in the dark.

I think what made Paranormal Activity so boring for me was that I couldn't turn off the Supernatural part of my brain. I kept wanting to tell the idiots to get some salt, iron, and a good exorcism ritual. Plus, a person standing perfectly still for an hour and a half is not scary.

Monsturd: A movie about a killer monster made of shit. I'll give the producers credit for actually trying to put this idea on celluloid, but by god, this movie is just horrible. Though, if you want a movie to do a MST3K on, then this would be a prime candidate.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Renew_light wrote:

Working at hollywood video for a time in highschool I was exposed to some really horrid films.
Leprechauns 2, Leprechaun in Space, Leprechaun in the Hood...and sadly enough Leprechaun in the Hood 2: Back in The Hood. Just in case the title Leprechaun in the Hood doesn't scare you off enough they made a second one starring Ice T and Coolio.

Don't forget the graphic novel, from the people who brought you the Stephenie Meyer biography comic.

oh god look a five year old has puked all over their comic

someone should really tell them

karmyn31 wrote:

Have I mentioned Boogeyman here? That has become the new level by which I measure a bad horror movie. I adore Eric Kripke, but what the hell was happening in that movie? I wanted so badly to hurt somebody after that, preferably Barry Watson. Nothing really happened for about an hour and then a bunch of stuff happened that made no sense. The deleted scenes and alternate ending didn't make anything clearer. And they made at least two sequels? No way am I even attempting those.
.

One of the sequels was alright. It had nothing to do with the first movie so it ended up being better though pretty cliched.

The only movie that freaks me out is The Blair With Project... not when I'm watching it, of course. Its not even scary. But I camp a lot. So I'll lie there, in my tent, and then imagine having kids laughing and shit shaking my tent, and it freaks me the fuck out.

Not to mention one year I was camping, I went for a walk in some nearby woods, and a bunch of those stick men were hanging from trees in a small clearing.
I left very quickly.

Anyways, heres a super fucking bad one.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.

what the FUCK? Not even Wikipedia can make sense of that goddamn plot.
And why did Jason have to strap a man down and shave his mustache before taking over his body?
And why did that little Jason-monster crawl into a ladies vagina?
and WHY was the Necronomicon on the desk in the house?
Why were there magic daggers??
WHY DO THEY WALK OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND LEAVE THE BABY THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE IN A DILAPIDATED HOUSE!??

I can't believe no one's mentioned Cube: Zero, Sorority Row or The Human Centipede. I'm usually a fan of bad horror movies, but these three are just terrible.

I actually bought all three cube films and regretted buying Cube:Zero almost immediately, what a waste of time.

Sorority Row, I just wanted to scream at the stupid bimbos in it, one wanted to call the police, seen way too many slasher films to know I'd rather be behind bars than have some half-dead maniac or stupid vengeful relation stalking and killing my friends. Plus the beginning? A prank gone wrong and the idiot dies, god jawbreaker anyone? Plus the idea that one of the surviving girls boyfriends is slaughtering the other girls to keep them quiet is just retarded.

And The Human Centipede was just too gross to be scary. I didn't even make it to the end before giving up.

NicolaQ1987 wrote:

And The Human Centipede was just too gross to be scary. I didn't even make it to the end before giving up.

Oh boy, I can't wait for the sequel! :B

(I kid, of course. It was actually banned in the UK for being THAT BAD)

Raine wrote:

NicolaQ1987 wrote:

And The Human Centipede was just too gross to be scary. I didn't even make it to the end before giving up.

Oh boy, I can't wait for the sequel! :B

(I kid, of course. It was actually banned in the UK for being THAT BAD)

Yeah... That pretty much destroyed my case for Human Centipede being a tongue-in-cheek camp example of how to create a moral outrage, masterfully orchestrated by a director utilising practically no budget or effects and relying only on a basic human instinct, something that most contemporary horror films fail to even knowledge, to create it's horrifying effect on its audience.

I went to university to learn talk like that! What I mean is that Human Centipede is genuinely scary, and uncomfortable to watch, not though it's special effects (there are none) nor through it's jump-scares (very few of those, and most in act 1) but just through what it is about. Everything of substance in that film is either building up to, or cooling down from, the 'feeding' scene. Just that single act is repulsive to viewers, and it has that effect not because we are forced to watch it, like in a Saw film, but because we are forced to envision it.


I love the Human Centipede film. I'll love any film that can drag out a genuine emotional response from me, and this film squicks me out. It is only one of about four films that can do that (Hard Candy, Irreversible and A Serbian Film, if you must know) This is not a reason to hate a film, it is a reason to love it.


Centipede 2, however, is the director masturbating into a camera lens. He's being extreme because he thinks that's what made his original film successful. It isn't. The film got as much negative coverage as the Saw films and Antichrist, but unlike those two, Centipede failed to deliver to the claret and gristle-seeking fans of those two films, it did, however,become successful with tosh-spouting artsy types like me. The second film clearly shows that he has no intention of exploring the one element of the original that actually worked, and every intention of exploiting every perversion he can think of, proving the fucking Daily Mail right.

I am very dissapoint.

rae wrote:

Raine wrote:

As part of my 'RJ Reviews Australia' series, I decided to have a look at some Aussie horror films.

THE HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT MAKES ME HATE MY COUNTRY.

I love that one. It is deliciously, deliciously horrible. <3 Best watched with popcorn and a 5th of something alcoholic.

I watch most horror movies while mostly toasted.

I finally watched My Bloody Valentine, the 2009 one. Liked it better than the remake of Friday the 13th, but then everybody except Jared Padalecki's character was a pervy douche in that movie.
But my one question remains unasnwered. Was Tom possessed or just crazy? I vote for a bit of both.

Hard Candy... eh, meh.

I'm surprised no one's mentioned uh... I think it was The Wire or something, not exactly sure of the name, but it was about these creatures that sucked out people's souls and lived in like... an alternate reality, but were trapped in a computer. I think the sespense build up is kinda what got me, but really, it was bad and baseless without a real ending, just a bunch of people trying to get through a destroyed city and it clipping into a TV screen with a pale figure with no eyes staring at you before it cuts out.

Reidmar wrote:

Hard Candy... eh, meh.

Are you thinking of the same movie I am? With Ellen Page? Because I don't really know as how that's classified as a "horror" movie per se...

Sparrow wrote:

Reidmar wrote:

Hard Candy... eh, meh.

Are you thinking of the same movie I am? With Ellen Page? Because I don't really know as how that's classified as a "horror" movie per se...

I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Madonna album.

Sparrow wrote:

Reidmar wrote:

Hard Candy... eh, meh.

Are you thinking of the same movie I am? With Ellen Page? Because I don't really know as how that's classified as a "horror" movie per se...

I think that was Inception, and no, it wasn't a horror movie, and it wasn't the one Reidmar was describing.

Nope, they both have Ellen Page if it's the film I'm thinking of - Girl claims to be 14 and entraps a child predator, and it's a ever-switching game of cat-and-mouse? With the moment in the middle where there's a discussion of buying Girl Scout cookies from the predator's neighbor?

Or did you say that to confuse me, Lady Anne?

No, I don't think Ellen Page or Madonna were in either of them the problem is, this movie was made back in 06-09 ish so I've pretty much forgotten about what the title was. I just remember vividly, one part where this black guy gets sucked into the wall of his apartment and it leaves a burnt outline of a human behind.

edit: no I'm not talking about any child predator movies, I'm talking about a completely different genre.

That'd be why I was confused. I don't think Hard Candy is the title you want then - I can't find anything else under that title. (And I am still surprised to see people online raving about it as a horror movie when I was looking to see if there were any other films with that title.)

NEVERMIND HGGNNNN I remember what the movie was called now, it was called Pulse and was made in '06

Jason X. Everyone in that movie was so stupid and unlikeable, I didn't even care when Jason killed them. Blair Witch 2, same thing.

Cyberwulf wrote:

Jason X. Everyone in that movie was so stupid and unlikeable, I didn't even care when Jason killed them. Blair Witch 2, same thing.

I dunno bout you, but the part where Jason beat the one woman to death with the other women in the sleeping bags made me chuckle.