Leslita has many writers, all of them terrible, but few so bizarely dumbfounding as Stam. Stam isn't the most ungrammatical writer, nor the kinkiest, but he has a sheer...
enthusiasm for sapphic relations that makes itself very apparent in the prose. Imagine Beatrix Potter as a debauched, caked-over basement-dweller and you're halfway there.
Stam is very, very, prolific, but tonight we'll only be focusing on one of his works - "Brenda & Julie", a delightful romp about one mother's attempt to whore out her daughter to her rich girlfriend. "But Zeiss," I hear you cry out, "why, that doesn't sound like a very motherly thing at all! Why, I would be most
appalled if these actions were taken by one of my parentage!"
Fear not, for all of Stam's works take place in the Fantasapphic Lesbiarium, a magical realm where lesbian sex is a valuable bonding experience regardless of context, everyone experiences pure, untamed erotica every four minutes or so, and where the lesbians themselves always behave like they were on a website with an anthropomorphic carpet as its mascot.
Anyway, the story. Stock Lesbian Teen Protagonist #545237C: "Brenda" discusses said whoring thusly:
- Quote :
- I can't wait to show Julie what a great pussy-fuck I can put out. And I really can't wait to show Julie how I can cum with a bing and a bang and a boom!"
Badfic Digest Monthly presents: The Secret Writings Of Busby Berkeley.
Seriously, the whole thing (all four parts of it) is written like this. Every line of dialogue could be the lead-in to the showstopping number in a horrible, lesbian-themed WWII-era musical.
- Quote :
- Brenda's Mom shivered, remembering what gooey, exquisite pleasure it was kissing Julie Harris' beautiful box, her plump cunt-lips slick and slippery with Julie's creamy, tasty pussy-lube!
Another wonder of the Fantasapphic Lesbiarium is that the air is ripe with special hormones that turn ejaculatory fluid into Cool Whip. Just roll along with it.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Anyway, Brenda arrives at the house of Stock Lesbian MILF #646746AL "Julie", who in true Stamian fashion welcomes her with a display of raw, lascivious lesbian lust:
- Quote :
- "You are a real cutie-pie, aren't you, sweet-ums?"
Carol Channing: Lesbian Debutante.
The plot really doesn't need any more annotation from this point on, so let's now focus our attention on Stam's descriptive skills:
- Quote :
- Brenda understood perfectly. Her twat was drooling cream just watching the glamorous Julie smoke. Her tits rose and fell with her deep inhales and creamy exhales. Brenda could feel her pussy-goo wetting and warming her panties!
Do these people secrete Cool Whip or hand-warmer fluid? Yikes.
- Quote :
- "Oh, sweetie, your hands on my knockers feels yummy! You really know how to feel up an old lady's titties, don't you? Squeeze right there, baby . . . Ooooh, fuck, that feels super-yummy, honey! But I think we've melted the ice in our drinks. You've got me so hot and runny!"
Yummy yummy yummy, she wants twat in her tummy, and I feel like I'm having an overload of GEE GOLLY GOSH.
- Quote :
- "And I can already see you got big, fat nipples. They are poking the silk of your pajamas out at me! I can't wait to give them some kisses and sucks, honey!"
that's right, noun my verbs baby
it gets me so
hot - Quote :
- You've really got a pair of guns on you, don't you, Brenda-girl! Jesus! What a pair! Very luscious, very scrumptious, very tempting jugs!
Road Dahl: Ah, you should have said "scrum-diddly-uptious!"
Busby Berkeley: I KNOW ALREADY GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
- Quote :
- "I'm going to have loads of fun playing with those honeys!" Julie declared. "I'm going to kiss them all over and squeeze them and make them bounce.
“I SHALL CALL THEM HONEYS AND THEY SHALL BE MINE AND THEY SHALL BE MY HONEYS”
- Quote :
- I'll just bet you've got fat, pink nipples that taste like honey and that I can get them poking out a mile! I'll bet they're just aching, right now, for some hot sucks!"
Brenda smiled sweetly, took Julie's hands and placed them on her boobs. "Not just hot sucks," she whispered, "YOUR hot sucks, Julie- dear.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]OH JUST FUCK EACH OTHER'S TITS ALREADYJESUS
- Quote :
- Julie was a titty-lover from way back and with a glorious pair like Brenda's to play with she went extra-special nutsy, kissing and sucking and squeezing the creamy chest ornaments of Brenda Walker!
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- With those words, Julie, her mouth still sucking the big peak of one of Brenda's mountains, slid three fingers into the teen hottie's coozey and wiggled them all around.
"Coozey"?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]"WHAT THE FUCK IS A SAMOFLANGE COOZEY?" - Quote :
- Brenda let out a humungous squeal and pissed a dump-truck sized load of cunt-honey out onto Julie's hand.
Dumps like a truck, whut whut. Stam likes whut whut whut... - Quote :
- Julie chuckled and used her sticky fingers to coat Brenda's nipples with cunt-goo. When she had the teenager's nipples glistening with pussy-lube, she lovingly sucked it off.
Poor little Brenda was a rag-doll of horniness. Her pussy was pulsing and trembling. She had already pissed out many little cums but, inside, like a smoking volcano, the BIG ONE was still boiling.
Though she was trembling with the need to blow THE BIG CUM, Brenda became very anxious to see the older woman's knockers. With shaking hands, she started to unbutton Julie's pajama tops and she soon had the older woman's honeys poking out, bare, for sucks and kisses of her own. The girls were whimpering and moaning. Brenda hadn't touched Julie's twat yet but the older woman's box was firing its fun-gun and drooling with lust at just the thoughts of the incredible cums she was going to have with this teen-age sex-machine. Brenda's snapper was twitching and boiling! These two women were just so hot for each other!
Do I really need to add anything to this? Seriously, I could just copypasta flan recipes in response to this and the message would still get across.
I am desperately trying not to start another reaction face party, guys.
- Quote :
- Julie kissed all around and Brenda lifted her ass so Julie could slide the panties down and uncover Brenda's prize. A very hot, very wet, very throbbing puss!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- Quote :
- Brenda thrashed her ass and shivered and shook with juicy cums as Julie sucked her clitty into her mouth and rubbed her velvety tongue all over it like it was the head of a cock. Needless to say, hot treatment like that sent little Brenda totally fucking ape-shit! Brenda screamed, her ass pumped and wriggled. The little teen let go the big one and she squirted cunt-ooze high in the air.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Quote :
- Julie's cunt was nicely shaven and Brenda admired her plump pussy lips, glistening with girlie-cum. Every day, Julie's maid lovingly shaved her employer's twat and then with licks and kisses to that snapper, would give Julie some cums. After, Julie would usually treat her maid to some sugary cums. Working for Julie Harris had its perks!
What, are "cums" some sort of currency here? Who the hell would come up with an economy like...wait...
...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Quote :
- Julie knew, from having it in her mouth, that Brenda had a hot and lively tongue and couldn't wait to feel it dancing around in her cooze.
- Quote :
- Brenda chuckled. "With a cooze as sweet as yours, Julie, it is a pleasure. Piss me out some more of that sweet girlie-goo, Julie-dear!"
Come back, 'scooted', all is forgiven!
- Quote :
- "And I miss you already, sugar. You never told me how you learned to eat cunt like that! Light us each a cigarette, wiggle that sweet ass on in here and tell me about it!"
HEY SWEETCHEEKS, GRAB A PAD AND BACK THAT GORGEOUS BUTT IN HERE
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT
- Quote :
- I guess I'm a just cunt-girl at heart.
Oh thank God, I almost forgot those existed!
- Quote :
- "Rub the head of the cock around your box and get it all slippy with the girlie-cream I know is drooling out of you! Then wiggle the head past your pussy lips and snuggle your cunny around it. When that's done and you are ready, I'll horse it on home!"
YOU DO THE COOZEY POKEY AND YOU CREAM A CUNT A FUCK
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
- Quote :
- Gorgeous and sexy as she was, the quarterback was used to getting lots of hot cunt and he hadn't much cared about Brenda. He just wanted to get in, dump a load, put another notch in his belt buckle and get to a party. Brenda, who had looked forward to lots of hot thrills swinging on his big cock was disappointed. Her snapper cuddled the big prick so tightly the quarterback stud hadn't stood a chance. Three or four strokes into this hot 14-year-old-sex- pot and he had dumped his load. Right then and there, Brenda decided that it took a pussy to really love a pussy.
Clearly, gender and social commentary at it's best! A regular Bechdel, our Stam.
- Quote :
- Lezzie action was hot and heavy right now. Brenda, more than willing, very anxious, did as instructed and gave a moan as the big head of the rubber prick, strapped around sexy Julie, oozed into her juicy box.
Juicy Box is 10% lesbians!
- Spoiler:
IT'S LESBIAAAAAAAAANS
- Quote :
- "O.K. Julie-sweets, I'm ready,” she crooned. “That big knob is in me. It feels delicious! Throw me the fuck!"
Someone on weepingcock posted "Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the fuck!", and honestly, I really can't improve on that.
Someone else there described the fic as "Gidget Goes Muff-Diving", and I really can't improve on that either.
- Quote :
- Julie's hips kept thrusting as Brenda threw the cunt right back at her.
Julie: YAY
Brenda: THIS IS THE WORST FRISBEE EVER I DON'T EVEN
WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN COME TO THIS LESBIARIUM ANYWAY
- Quote :
- Or we can scissor our legs and just rub our twats together! Whatever we want, honey- bunny!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGOD WHY
- Quote :
- END
I sincerely hope you all enjoyed my little story. I'd love to hear from you, comments, good or bad.
I hope you all have happy pussies!
LUV Stam
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]"Gee, Zeiss", you might ask, "there sure is a lot of weird writing in this story, isn't there? But despite all the acres of sickeningly sweet sexing in this story, I just can't come up with a word to describe it!"
Well, readers, I can.
"You can?"
Why, sure! It's...
Twatt-alatastical, muff-inamaffular, vag-inawackular fun!
"Girlie-la-lubical-throbbula-wobbular?"
Right-o! That's the one!
"Is it cunny-la-lapical, sapphina-tabulous, cummical morning 'til night?"
Well, you're super-tittacular, g-in-the-spotular, dil-dally-dildlier right!
It's a sehrschiedeisch-tical, yoni-all-mystical, nautical twattical joy!
It's a cooze-ala-cizzical, nub-u-la-nubular fun for girl and boy!
It's a clitorobseqious, I-want-to-wreck-me-this pile of flowery drool,
The most puss-ila-kissical!
Knockinaboobular!
Cummical-wummical!
Nippile-pubular!
Sto-ry of them ALLLLLLLLL!HEY!
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