The Horrors Of Leslita, Part III: EGGS (NWS)

For our next few excursions into that collection we all so adore, we’ll be taking a look at the ouvre of “Anime Lover”. Anime Lover has well over 100 fics on the site, so by no means can we feature all of them. Instead, let's take a looksie at a chapter of one of his most prolific series, "The Popular Girl". We'll start at Part 7, as the rest is mostly waffle.

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“Hi! My name is Sara Forbes. I’m a fourteen year old girl who lives in Los Angeles, California. My friends nicknamed me Sakura though cause I love cherry blossoms, It was weird to me at first being an American and having a Japanese nickname, but I’ve gotten used to it. You probably think I have tons of friends huh, judging by all the attention I got walking down the hall and walking into me homeroom. Truth is, Although I’m insanely and embarrassingly popular, I don’t have nearly that many friends. Many of the friends I have were my friends before my change which thrusted me into my popularity. By now your probably eager to learn why I’m so popular huh? Ok then, I’ll come clean…"

If you're wondering whether the author is one of those anime fans, your suspicions will be proved without a shadow of a doubt later. As for now, bask in the temporary mildness of the author's weeabooism.

Sakura/Sara isn't popular for being rich, funny, or particularly good-looking. She's popular because she's a human platypus.

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“I can lay eggs. Don’t laugh! It’s true! It’s been a year, so I’ve become used to it now. But I know what your thinking; a girl that can produce regular eggs, so what? Why would that make me popular, right?

Sakura: Wow, I can lay eggs! Everyone, you gotta see this!
Everyone Else: OH HEY LOOK AT DEM DICKGIRLS OVER THERE BOY ARE THEY GOING OR WHAT
Sakura: :<

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But my eggs aren’t your regular, run of the mill eggs, their worth money! Lot’s and lot’s of money! What comes out of me is more like egg-shaped jewels! Sometimes the eggs are one solid material, like gold or silver, but many times, their decorated in various other diamonds and rubies.

Diamonds require coal to make (through compression), which in turn require large amounts of plant material (through compaction), which in turn require someone to have a biological apparatus to store all that (through being some kind of dinosaur). She's a case against evolution and a God at the same time.

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My eggs vary in sizes too, usually their about the size of normal eggs, those are pretty easy to pass and often times are more than one at a time, but I’ve produced eggs the size of large pears before and those are a bit more difficult to get out; Hey, I’m a small girl, my vagina isn’t that big.”

Gynecologist: JESUS GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE
Sakura: ):<
But before she is captured and examined by the Faberge company, more things happen.

Anyway, more exposition (where we learn that her eggs are simply the crystallized version of her egg cells and no I really don't have to say it), blah blah blah, new schoolgirl shows up who takes a liking to her, and then this happens:

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“My name is Lila, and I’ve come to take you to your real home.”

“My… Real, home?” questions Sara. “What are you talking about?”

“I come from a planet near here, I’ve come to take you back, you don’t belong on earth anymore.”

“Huh!? What do you mean I don’t belong on earth anymore!? I was born here!”

Lila: WE HAVE COME TO USE YOUR OVARIES TO GILD OUR CITIES
Sakura: D:

Ginger/Lila tells Sakura that she is a hybrid of human and whatever, and that she has the same abilities as well:

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“The eggs are very sensitive, and Earth’s atmosphere ruins them.”

“Oh, but their so pretty.”

“Hey, wanna know one of the eggs uses?” asks Ginger Smiling

“Sure.”

“If you break one open and swallow the goo inside, you get this really good relaxed feeling.”

“Like a high?” asks Sara before snickering.

Lila: GAIZ YOU GOTTA TRY THIS
Carlos Castaneda: EWWWWWW NO YOU KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF

And before long, the fanfic objective is set:

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“We have to fertilize our eggs.”

And how do they go about this?

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“We’re going to move our pussies together and rub them against each other, we need to work up our honey to the point where our pussies are so messy that we start to have a hard time to keep them pressed together.” instructs Ginger.

“Heh, that won’t take long, since we both are already oozing.” comments Sara smiling.”

Why, how might you have guessed?

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Ginger smiled before stating, “Let’s make our pussies kiss now…”

“Ok.”

The two girl’s then moved their hips together and Ginger raised her right leg around Sara’s left, allowing their messy labia’s to meet and while Ginger Moaned out lowly, Sara’s gasps out quite loud as a surge of pleasure shot through her body.

“H-Holy c-crap! Why does just having our pussies meet feel so good!?”

“I-It’s because, of our honey.” states Ginger, her face quickly reddening. “Each g-girl’s honey is slightly different, so theirs a small chemical reaction that heightens the pleasure.” before Ginger began to grind her crotch against Sara’s releasing a loud moaning from the both of them, with the addition of wet squishing sounds as their pussies moved against each other.

Zeiss Manifold: argh fuck why does everything have tribbing in it nowadays
Delcat: IT'S THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE, ZEISS
Delcat: TRIBBING WITH TRIBBLES ON THE FINAL FRONTIER
Zeiss Manifold: 'WAVE' WAS REALLY NOT A GOOD WORD TO USE THERE AND IN TIME YOU WILL SEE WHY

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Sara couldn’t take it anymore and come soon after Ginger increased her speed, moaning out loudly, as her body frozen in place and her pussy gushed out her honey, causing Ginger to moan out as Sara’s honey invaded her tunnel, causing her entire vaginal cannel to tingle from the chemical reaction of her and Sara’s honey mixing inside her.

It's a strange sensation, a fabulous creation!
A quite inept solution to lesbian evolution!
Do the trib, love, if you feel love...

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Ginger, soon after Sara’s climax, moan out a second time as Sara’s honey caused her to come, causing her pussy to eject her honey into Sara’s pussy, who was treated the new sensation of Ginger’s cum invading her vagina and causing the same chemical reaction, and Sara gasped out again as she nearly immediately came again, pushing her honey back into Ginger.

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This back and forth swap continued as the two girl’s fell to the floor, though, they didn’t stop, Ginger grabbed hold of Sara’s right foot and Sara did the same as the two vigorously grinded their crotch against the other, constant moans, caused my constant orgasms, left their mouths, the abundance of their honey had formed a large pool under their gyrating hips, the honey covering their crotch seemed to cause their crotches to meld together.

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This continuous grinding and coming continued until both girl’s came at the same time, causing their honey to crash together, causing a visible, fluid explosion as their honey had on one exit, upwards, the geyser of the two girl’s fluid showered both of their bodies.

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Four fucking paragraphs of scissoring, that.

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“Better than, a Trance, huh?” comments Ginger, smiling.

“Times ten!’ replies Sara.

Ginger then closed her eyes and states, “Now, don’t move, I’m going to fertilize your eggs…”

Sakura: THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT FOR
Lila: It was-
Sakura: FUCK I HAVE CHEMICAL BURNS NOW YOU MONOTREME BASTARD

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Until, Sara felt something slithering inside her.

“Hey! What’s that!?”

“Don’t move.” states Ginger.

“Tell me what that is!” states Sara, before she feels the mystery thing prod her cervix, that was enough for Sara as she snatched her foot free of Ginger’s grip and pushed herself away.

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...You can insert your memes here, guys. They have finally found the haven home of context.

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“Every girl of our species has a, well, I can’t pronounce it, I just call it a tentacle, anyway, it’s basically just my cervix stretched out really long, we can use it to fertilize another girl’s eggs by injecting our honey directly into their womb. Another function is transferring eggs to another body.”

Anime Lover: You know, everyone writes about vaginae and clitorums, but I want to find my muse in something...different. I shall push the boundaries of erotic fiction with utmost will!
Gynecologists: DON'T DO IT MAN DON'T DO IT
Anime Lover: SHUT UP I'M BEING EMPOWERING

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Sara then moved nearly right under Ginger’s crotch, and she didn’t have to wait for long before she saw her messy labia part and a pink, one-inch wide and one-eyed tentacle emerge from Ginger’s pussy, before she gasped and cringed.

Zeiss Manifold: So Del, you have a cervix, what can you tell us about them?
Delcat: I sure can, little shaver. What do you want to know?
Zeiss Manifold: Oh, just some basic facts. What you can do with them, and all.
Delcat: Not a whole lot, Jim, not a whole lot. They basically just sit there until you give birth, at which point--and ONLY at which point, that is important--they will dilate to more than a centimeter or two wide.
Zeiss Manifold: And about that - you say they just sit there. Are they really not that mobile?
Delcat: Hang on, let me see if I can maybe flex a muscle I didn't know I had.
Delcat: Nngh...nngh...
Delcat: No, I absolutely cannot move it of my own volition, and you'd need some heavy-duty tools to do it from the outside.
Zeiss Manifold: And if someone were to brush up on it accidentally, how would it feel, do you think?
Delcat: Well, I don't believe there are that many nerve endings, since it's too deep in to be an erogenous zone, but it'd probably be sensitive enough to hurt like hell if you bumped it too hard.

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Sara was amazed by the sight of the strange, yet familiar object and before even the thought crossed her mind, she shot her head forward to take the tendril in her mouth, With a shocked gasp from Ginger.

Zeiss Manifold: Now, what some unknown force stretched it all the way outside of you, and some random girl started putting it in her mouth amongst her flailing, gnashing teeth?
Delcat: Well, Zeiss, I'd pretty much have to curl up on the floor with my balled-up fists pressed protectively against my genitals, crying in agony, before I could even begin to think about that concept.
Zeiss Manifold: Ah! I shall use this knowledge for the benefit of science.

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“Ah! H-Hey! Don’t do that!” she pleaded before staggering back against the lockers, revealing more of the pink tendril, the extra exposed, Sara quickly wrapped her right hand around and began to move her head back and forth on the pink object.

This action caused Ginger to cry out in pleasure as Sara sucked off her stretched out cervix.

Zeiss Manifold: Now, what if someone grabbed the cervix, what would-
Delcat: gnnnnnnnnnnnnngh

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“S-Stop…Nngh… P-Please…” begged Ginger, placing her hands on Sara’s head as her body trembled.

Sara soon stopped the sucking and changed to licking the tip.

“You like this.” states Sara, smiling up at Ginger, before tonguing the opening

Zeiss Manifold: I guess "tonguing the opening" is right out, then.
Delcat: *flop* *flop*

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Ginger soon gasps out and a quite noticeable bulge made it’s way through the tendril and a thick wad of her honey covered Sara’s face, causing her to gasp as she released the her right hand from it to wipe at her face.

Meanwhile, the tendril swung limply between Ginger’s shaky leg’s as it slowly begun to retract back inside of her while Ginger herself slid down against the lockers, to the floor.

“I can’t believe you actually did that.” states Ginger.

Sakura: Centipedes are one thing, but bees?
LILA: It's an alien thing! And it can be yours if you just-
Sakura: AARGH THEY'RE IN MY EYES MY EYES

NEXT TIME: More fun with cervices!
This post dedicated to the memory of Delcat, who suffered a full-body prolapse shortly after reading the story in question.

What the hell.... I don't even.... :headshot:

There's nothing wrong with tribbing. THIS version of tribbing, yes, there's plenty wrong with -- it's like the lesbian equivalent of lubeless buttsex and anal hymens. But otherwise, tribbing can be sexy! Honest!

I'm loving these snarks; this is such a horrifying, bizarre web of insanity you've found. I NEED MOAR CRAZY.

Miss Prince wrote:

I NEED MOAR CRAZY.

OH YOU'LL GET MORE CRAZY, WOMAN

BRACE YER BRITCHES

...Yeah. How is this supposed to be stimulating?

*is cringing in sympathetic horror.*

And how is a 14-year-old this comfortable with this kind of sex?

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

She's a case against evolution and a God at the same time.

Zymie, this entire series is a case against the existence of any remotely beneficent God.

GODDAMMIT CERVICES AREN'T PENISES

THEY JUST ARENT, OK

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Ginger/Lila tells Sakura that she is a hybrid of human and whatever, and that she has the same abilities as well:

Quote :

“Hey, wanna know one of the eggs uses?” asks Ginger Smiling

“Sure.”

“If you break one open and swallow the goo inside, you get this really good relaxed feeling.”

“Like a high?” asks Sara before snickering.

"Yeah. I swear it's totally not like ingesting any of your other excretions."

Quote :

Quote :

“We have to fertilize our eggs.”

And how do they go about this?

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“We’re going to move our pussies together and rub them against each other, we need to work up our honey to the point where our pussies are so messy that we start to have a hard time to keep them pressed together.” instructs Ginger.

So, this is a one-sex planet, then?

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Zeiss Manifold: I guess "tonguing the opening" is right out, then.
Delcat: *flop* *flop*

Actually, I imagine that would be the least unpleasant part of the whole thing.

Miss Prince wrote:

There's nothing wrong with tribbing. THIS version of tribbing, yes, there's plenty wrong with -- it's like the lesbian equivalent of lubeless buttsex and anal hymens. But otherwise, tribbing can be sexy! Honest!

I wasn't sure of the definition of tribbing so I consulted Wikipedia.
The page also includes this.

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The Romans did not classify according to homosexuality and heterosexuality. They instead had words for who was the active partner and who was the "bottom".

So, just like fanbrats then. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And now, we venture to Chapter 9. It starts off with a few blocks of convoluted plot concerning aliens, “hybrids”, eggs and whatnot, but since we’re all here for the nonbiologistic cervix-fucking, we’ll skip to that. Basically, Sara has to practice laying eggs or something, I don’t know.

Normally, something like this would require another Reaction Face Party, but I’m going to do it differently in that I’ll post a few right here, which you can then safely disperse at your discretion.

Spoiler:

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“OK… Ginger said I needed to… um, oh, imagine I have eggs in me and I want to push them out…”

Sara placed her right hand over her abdomen, and placed her left hand behind her to the floor to steady herself as she tried locating the muscles she needed to work.

Minutes passed and the only progress Sara got was clinching her cervix, just when Sara was about to complain with frustration though, she felt an odd tingling from her cervix.

Sara: Gah, this is totally like the worst yoga exercise ever! Hey-
Sara’s cervix: WHY THE FUCK DO I TASTE BLUEBERRIES

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Sara tried her idea, a small gentle push on her womb, she soon gasps as she felt her entire uterus shift, downward, as if it wanted out.

Excitement ran through Sara’s pre-teen body, Ginger warned her of this, it was something that would happened the first few time’s she tried lengthen her cervix, their was nothing to worry about, as, true to Ginger’s words, the downward movement of her womb stopped at the entrance of her pussy, her cervix peeking out of the yawning lips slightly.

Zeiss Manifold: So Del, sorry to bother you again so soon, but - what would you say to someone who was suffering a uterine prolapse?
Delcat: My door is always open, Zeiss, although my cervix is not. Hm, that's a tough one...that person would probably be a cow that had recently birthed a calf, if I'm up on my Herriot, and I do not speak cow language. However, if it was a woman, I'd probably scream incoherently in horror for a bit and then vomit, hopefully a safe distance away from the wobbling meatsack. Then I would phone an ambulance and fervently pray that she didn't die of peritonitis or something similar.
Zeiss Manifold: So what you are saying is, it isn't the start to a magical masturbation wonderland?
Delcat: I think the best I can possibly say about it is that occasionally the cows don't trample their own organs to death.

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Her smile was short-lived though as her cervix was only an inch in length before the Sara felt the once internal organ burning. Sara’s hands tightened into fists as she sucked in air through her clenching teeth.

Gasp! Could it be that Anime Lover is finally paying attention to vulvaphysical laws?

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Lucky, Sara saw the tip of still growing cervix was oozing her honey, she quickly placed her left hand under the flow and smeared it over her cervix and an immediate sigh of relief left her lips and she continued to cover her now three inch long organ in her honey oozing from the tip.

No! Which means that IT’S SCHLICK TIEM GAIZ
I actually have no idea what the proper onomatopoeic term for what happens next is, but bear with me.

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Additionally, Sara found stroking her growing cervix felt very good and push a little harder, causing her cervix to lengthen to an impressive seven inches. It was long enough for Sara to grasp it comfortably with her right hand, wrapping around the pink flesh completely, before moving her hand up and down it’s length, quickly moaning out.

Anime Lover: You know what else is played out? Dickgirls! We’ve seen the same basic concepts retread throughout the genre for so long, it’s time for a truly original thinker like me to shake things up!
Everyone Everywhere: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DO
Anime Lover: Quiet, peons!

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Her Cervix had an odd rigidness to it, not too much though that Sara couldn’t freely bend it at a ninety degree angle or even folding it against itself, forming a sideways ‘U’. Flexible enough to bend painlessly, but firm enough to stroke it’s length with her right hand, which caused her honey to ooze out more and more as raising pleasure flooded her body.

Zeiss Manifold: ...Alright, there's no polite way to ask this, but how likely is it that one's cervix would unanchor itself almost completely and would lie limp enough to bend in half lengthwise?
Delcat: There's no polite way to answer that, so AAAARGH ARGH FUCKING BUGGERY CUNTFUCK ARGH OW OW OW FUCKING FUCK COCKERY FELLATIO DICK
Zeiss Manifold: you want another pillow man
Delcat: yeah man just throw it down here that'd be nice

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The stroking was becoming longer and longer, though Sara didn’t seem to notice this, through the wonderful pleasure of stroking her cervix, Sara hadn’t realized the double fisted grip she had on her Cervix was lengthening it, it was slowly getting longer and longer, and longer…

I really don’t need to ask Del to know that THE CERVIX IS NOT PLAY-DO. GOOD DAY, SIR.

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Until, Sara felt something bump her chin, opening her eyes, she gasps a little as she saw that she had pulled her cervix all the way up to her chin. Sara wasn’t too shocked by this though as she saw the oozing opening of her cervix and lifted her head a head a little and licking at the tip before taking it in her mouth and continuing her stroking of her very long Cervix.

Zeiss Manifold: Hey, do you remember how that Shel Silverstein poem about the Boa Constrictor went? I'm trying to remember.
Delcat: I actually have the .mp3 of him reading that. Would it be pertinent?
Zeiss Manifold: Well, I just want to know if he ever got to the chin.
Delcat: Hm, let's see...I believe it goes from "Oh heck, it's up to my neck" to "Oh dread, it's up to my--MMMPH", without a stop at the chin. I suspect this is because there isn't a proper rhyme.
Zeiss Manifold: DAMN YOU SHEL SILVERSTEIN, WHY HAVE YOU FAILED M
Delcat: "Oh cringe, it's up to my chinge", maybe. Why do you want to know?
Zeiss Manifold: Uh...
Zeiss Manifold: You see, she takes her distended cervix and-
Delcat: I CAN'T EVEN CURL INTO THE FETAL POSITION BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF CERVICES

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Her sucking and stroking continued as Sara’s moans increased and so did her hands. Her large organ was beginning to throb and swell slightly, her body was trembling.

This actually distracts me from the relentless ohgodwhut, if only because I really want to know how hands can “increase”. Are they slowly getting bigger from the cervix juices or whatever? How many weird fetishes is Anime Lover going to come up with here?

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‘I’m gonna come!’ thinks Sara as she hands sped up even more as she continues to suck on herself. ‘I’m going to come sucking on my Cervix!’

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The most popular girl I ever saw, was sucking Cervix through a straw…

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Moment’s later, Sara groans as she body quickly locks up, a large, noticeable bulge traveled down the length of her cervix, to her mouth. Only seconds after the bulge reached her mouth, her honey began leaking and spurting out of the corners of her mouth.

Sara: IS THAT A HONEYCOMB WHAT THE HELL
Bees: REVENGE

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It was too much for her to swallow at once and Sara quickly removed her mouth from her cervix, releasing a loud moan as a three second, fire-hose like spray of her honey ejected from the tip of her cervix, barely over her face and to the floor.

Shortly after her orgasm, Sara limply released her cervix from her hands grip, letting them fall to her side as her Cervix, now limp, rested against her body, though it slowly began to retract back inside her…

“Wow…”

Zeiss Manifold: Alright, one more question if you're up for it:
Delcat: I...I'm not sure I am, but you are a dear friend. Shoot.
Zeiss Manifold: Alright, now suppose we filled the vaginalogical area with a viscous substance - honey, for instance...
Delcat: Well, that'd cause a yeast infection straight off, yeast loves sugar like hey whoa, but go on.
Zeiss Manifold: Well, maybe it's *figurative* honey, I don't know. Anyway, what I'm asking is, would an extended cervix pressurize the mixture, as in some sick evolutionary mockery of a Super Soaker?
Delcat: It's a little difficult to type with my eye twitching like this, but I'd posit that when we get to extended cervices, we're so far over the swingset that it could shoot fairies like a machine gun and it wouldn't be out of bounds.
Zeiss Manifold: So we're in an untestable zone here? Is this like the gynecologic equivalent of string theory?
Delcat: OH GOD NOW THEY'RE PUTTING STRING IN IT?!
Zeiss Manifold: DEL NO NO DEL THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN PUT THAT SPECULUM DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE
Delcat: I MUST USE IT TO BEAT THE WILD CERVICES INTO SUBMISSION THEY HAVE GONE TOO FAR

As someone who suffered from a prolapsed uterus, I have only one thing to say:

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DOES THIS IDIOT THING THEY'RE DOING!? YOUR CERVIX IS NOT A GODDAMN YO-YO! TRUST ME ON THIS-I ENDED UP HAVING TO HAVE EMERGENCY SURGERY! YOUR CERVIX CANNOT JUST FALL OUT AND BE PUT BACK IN AGAIN! IT DON'T WORK THAT WAY. :panic:

If you need me I'll be next to Del on the floor, whimpering quietly...