Toad, the X Man by Mr. Alaska
So, this little ditty appears to be an X-Men Evo AU where Toad is accepted into the X-Men (instead of Kurt, apparently). The first chapter mostly re-caps bits from the first episode.
- Quote :
- “Lets go!” The crowd cheered, at a football game at Bayville High School. It was night time, and the home team was leading the game. The audience was on it’s feet with excitement. “Go Team! Go team! Go team!”
OH GOD GO TEAM! Yey! Yey! I love you so much Team! EEEEeeeeee! Have my babies, Teeeeeeeam! YEYEYEYEY!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo!
Scott is doing what Evo-Scott does best, ansgting about how Jean is dating an asshole.
- Quote :
- But his fantasies were crushed when Jean’s boyfriend and quarterback, Duncan(Last Name?)began walking up beside her.
Does Duncan need a last name? Really? Ugh, so Duncan Mystery-Last-Name notices Toad stealing people's wallets and stuff from underneath the bleachers. Him and his football friends decide to beat the crap out of him for great justice.
- Quote :
- The three boy chuckled devilishly, put their helmets back on and jugged in the direction to the bleachers.
*jug jug jug* Then we get to see Toad! I mean... Todd.
- Quote :
- This boy very pale skin, that almost seemed to have a very light green hue to it. He had shabby brown hair, which was in almost like a miniature mullet fashion. His eyes also were uncommon to normal teens. His eyes possessed that of bright yellow nature.
Your
face possesses that of a very
stupid nature! Whaaaaat.
- Quote :
- He wore a long sleeved brown shirt, rolled up past his elbows. Underneath that, he wore a long sleeved white shirt.
Haha, this is canon, but my
God were the clothes in that show dumb.
So we continue our episode recap with Scott saving Toad's ass, but losing his glasses while doing it and causing a big fuss. Jean shows up to clean up Scott's mess while he paws around on the ground looking for his glasses like the
pathetic sack of shit noble X-Men leader he is:
- Quote :
- Concentrating carefully, she used her telekinesis powers to quickly move the rubble from out behind the stands. There she saw Scott, with his eyes snapped completely shut, blindly looking for his sunglasses. And then she saw Duncan, unconscious underneath some fallen wood. She ran up, and moved the planks from atop the jerky teen.
Mmm, jerky teen. I like mine hickory-smoked.
- Quote :
- When he was taken care of, she then turned her attentions to her fellow mutant, who was on his knees, trying to feel for his glasses. Jean bent down, picked up Scott’s glasses, and slid them onto his face. Then, he was able to open his eyes without his deadly lasers going haywire. “Come on. Lets get out of here before we get caught….”
"Gee, I always envisioned me saying that to the hot guy I was
making-out with under the bleachers in high school. Not saying it to your pitiful ass,
Scott."
- Quote :
- Then…. A fly buzzed around his head. The slimy teen scowled at it for a second. Then, without warning, his long frog-like tongues shot out and captured it. It then retracted back into his mouth, so he could eat it. With a loud gulp, Todd swallowed the insect, before hopping away into the distance.
OooooOOOooo, mysteriously intriguing.
- Quote :
- (Note: I am going to skip right to the part where Toad is sneaking up to the X-Mansion. Remember, Mystique ordered Todd to infiltrate the X-Men to gain info. And meanwhile, Kurt, AKA Nightcrawler, has just finished a tour around the mansion.)
So you except us to remember this bit, but you recapped all that other crap? What was the point of that?
Anyway, Toad approaches the Manor like in the show, but in this version he is conflicted because Scott was sooooooo nice to him earlier. The way he appeared out of nowhere to protect his delicate form from those ruffians like a knight in shining armor... *sigh* 'Tis enough to make a fair toad swoon. Or something like that. Then he gets in a fight with Kurt, like in the show.
- Quote :
- “What the hell are you?” Todd snickered as he circled around Kurt. “Some oversized fuzzy throw pillow?”
"'Cause I would really like to toss you on my couch and cuddle with you! Wait, I mean, umm, shit."
- Quote :
- “At least I don’t smell like unwashed lederhosen.” He answered back in a Swedish accent(Is he Swedish of German? I forgot).
*HEADDESK*Oh God I think I am bleeding a little...
OK, I gotta wrap this up so I can seek some medical attention. Xavier shows up and tells them to knock it off. He invites Toad to joint the X-Men. Kurt pitches fit. Never mind being among people like him for the first time in his life and having the opportunity to make real friends and learn to use his gift effectively, if he has to share a team with somebody that smells bad the deal is off.
- Quote :
- “How could you expect me to even consider to work wiv him?”
"I am just a harwess widdle Nightcrawwer! How could I ewer work wiv that big bad meannie?"
Kurt leaves in a huff. How he plans to get back to Germany I have no idea, but the dude is gone.
- Quote :
- “O.K, yo…. I’ll give this place a try. I just need to go and get my stuff.”
“No need. I already sent Scott and Jean to get your stuff.” He paused when he saw the confused look on Toad’s face. He then chuckled. “I had a feeling you would be joining us, so I sent them ahead of time….
Man, that must have been embarrassing for him in the cartoon when Toad tells him to stuff it.
Well, there are 2 more chapters, but I could not really tolerate reading further. It just gets more and more awkward, and I never really like Evo-Toad anyway. I may try the other chapters later...
- Quote :
- “YO YO YO! T-O double D is in the His-ouse!”
...or try and find something else.
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