HooRay2u: When Christian fundamentalism meets really weird art.

HooRay2u :bible:

I can't believe nobody's resurrected this. C'mon, this is the guy that gave us Jesus vs. the Great Old Ones, Jesus accidentally inventing time while trying to cook meth, and Obama as Beezlebub. And he works so hard to stay current, too--he's already got cartoons about Michael Jackson's death and Sotomayor's confirmation.

What's your favorite HooRay cartoon?

I... I just.... someone's puked photoshop everywhere, look.

Oh God , there's so MUCH of it as well...

Also, have you even seen this??
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"Uncle HooRay's site for Christian teens!"

How OLD is this person?

I don't think I'll be sleeping for a while...

Quote :

Jesus rebuked
the storm.
The Greek word for rebuked
is
muzzled.

This is so creepy.

Yeah, when I started the thread on this guy back on GAFF or HoBFF, I said he was crazy. That's not a euphemism; I seriously question this guy's sanity.

It's not just the art, either. I've been following this guy for literally years, and I still haven't figured out how to reliably navigate his site. There are no thumbnails of his "cartoons," or any real way to view them in sequential order. Each one just vomits a huge pile of links to a random assortment of other "cartoons" at the bottom. It's all twisted up and illogical, like the buildings in Lovecraft. It's like a maze that tears at your mind with the abnormal psychology infused in the site design.

chibi_trillian wrote:

What's your favorite HooRay cartoon?

My favorite one has to be the one which says something like "I don't know why Jesus loves me so much, but He does." The scary no-eyes Jesus is holding his hand above a naked dude who is quite literally fucking a rainbow.

In heaven, we will all make tender love to the visible spectrum.

Lysander wrote:

Yeah, when I started the thread on this guy back on GAFF or HoBFF, I said he was crazy. That's not a euphemism; I seriously question this guy's sanity.

It's not just the art, either. I've been following this guy for literally years, and I still haven't figured out how to reliably navigate his site. There are no thumbnails of his "cartoons," or any real way to view them in sequential order. Each one just vomits a huge pile of links to a random assortment of other "cartoons" at the bottom. It's all twisted up and illogical, like the buildings in Lovecraft. It's like a maze that tears at your mind with the abnormal psychology infused in the site design.

I spent a good chunk of last night flipping through his site and the imagery gave me mildly disquieting dreams. Seriously, it's like he's figured out a way to not only make schizophrenia contagious, but to do so via the internet. The creepy talking widgets at the bottom of some his pages do NOT help.

He's apparently written a novella about his strange-as-hell fantasy world, though I'll be damned if I can find it on the godawful maze of his site. He keeps referring back to it in some of his more sequential cartoons, though, so it's around there somewhere. I also can't find MY favorite HooRay cartoon, which is the one about demons flying around on toilet seats.

Quote :

Zig didn't like the baptism of moral hangup riddance

required to become a bonafide member.

A new convert was required to renounce any moral hangups

like: small government - lower taxes - no anal sexual intercourse -

no incest - aversion to frog kissing and antipathy to

mother earth worship. Almost all that

Zig had been taught in his youth was a moral hangup.

guys I thINk i'M GOinG oVEr thE swwINGset HerE

Charlie's Sin Machine.

I question Jesus's logic sometimes.

And His regrettable cosplay decisions (Heidi Klum? Really, Jesus?)

WHERE IS YOUR SOUL NOW.

Epileptic LSD hippo is a fundie too!

Kay... I'm not Christian, but the way these... pictures and "stories" portray Christianity make it really... Uhm. Yeah. I guess if I were on the fence of converting, these would so tip me the other way. They're kinda creepy and portray Jesus and God as this weird kinda stalker.

It's too early for this, lol

Quote :

Also, have you even seen this??
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"Uncle HooRay's site for Christian teens!"

Why is Cthulhu giving a high-five to a skier? Or is that guy supposed to be Nyarlathotep? Still, this shit is funny as well.

WWJEF: Who would Jesus eat first?

:cthulhu:

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I thought that thing on the sea floor was a penis at first.

Also, this got me:

Quote :

Jesus rebuked

the storm.

The Greek word for rebuked

is

muzzled.

Maximilia wrote:

I guess if I were on the fence of converting, these would so tip me the other way.

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This doesn't make you want to follow Christ?

Even though it clearly says, "follow me?"

No, it says "Follow ME." So much more appealing.

Bird.swf

Quote :

Every day, Patience flew to meet the rising sun.

Patience quickly went blind.

Toastuh wrote:

I question Jesus's logic sometimes.

I couldn't figure out WTF was supposed to happen, until I realized that Jesus turned the girl's cat into a tiger to scare the erection out of the choirboy, thus preventing teen pregnancy.

Quote :

Epileptic LSD hippo is a fundie too!

He also makes a convenient point to shine lasers on.

The final battle shall not be between Good and Evil. It shall be between Puppets and Technicolor Pedophiles.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle the entire battle because God will kill you if you don't believe exactly what HooRay does.

I'm semi-genuinely afraid of getting a creepy phonecall in seven days after looking at that. D:

This is virtually identical to the Scarecrow encounters in Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Could someone explain to me what the hell a tiger has to do with teen pregnancy?
And don't you love how Jesus is portrayed as having long blond hair?

Delcat wrote:

Quote :

Zig didn't like the baptism of moral hangup riddance

required to become a bonafide member.

A new convert was required to renounce any moral hangups

like: small government - lower taxes - no anal sexual intercourse -

no incest - aversion to frog kissing and antipathy to

mother earth worship. Almost all that

Zig had been taught in his youth was a moral hangup.

And he moved.

Melissa wrote:

Could someone explain to me what the hell a tiger has to do with teen pregnancy?

Penguin wrote:

I couldn't figure out WTF was supposed to happen, until I realized that Jesus turned the girl's cat into a tiger to scare the erection out of the choirboy, thus preventing teen pregnancy.

Note how the tiger leers at him.

Melissa wrote:

And don't you love how Jesus is portrayed as having long blond hair?

I have an interesting theory about that. I think that HooRay believes in several Jesuses. Jesusii. Whatever.

Aryan Jesus, Feminine Jesus, and Scary Albino Wall Jesus are all separate characters, each with separate spheres of responsibility in HooRay's religion. I haven't determined what they are, aside from Wall Jesus' apparent duty to be as scary as fucking possible. My research is impeded by the fact that I fear to look at the website for too long, due to the abyss staring back into me.

Indeed. I asked an expendable friend to view the site for an extended period of time and recorded the results:

Quote :

Pink hippo cat tiger bird farted into a box of cheese HE'S COMING THROUGH THE WALLS AGAIN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE he will love you in all the wrong places with his thorns

This reminds me much too strongly of Time Cube in the way it's worded.

WHY THE FUCK IS HE STABBING THAT GOBLIN'S PLUNGER

"Now can you show us on this doll where Jesus touched you?"

OMG. Not just the comics that resemble more of backyard hippies' LSD party than educational christian stuff, but the whole layout of the site is just WTF?! Seriously it looks like something I coded when I was like 12 or something.

I feel like wandering around in some schizofreniac daydream with a LSD topping.