Things You've Learned from Badfic

Rabid Badger wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

SHGCat wrote:

Knocking people unconscious by hitting them on the head never results in brain damage or concussions. Maybe someone will get a headache if they were hit hard enough, but usually they're just out for a few hours. Movies and TV shows are pretty bad about this as well.

I thought this came from Chuck Jones and Tex Avery, not some kind of fanfiction.

That's where it originated-in the cartoons, where you could smash someone over the head with a mallet or an anvil, and all that happened was they staggered around a little and saw stars. Then someone forgot about the fact it was happening to cartoon animals and people and started doing it in live action movies and TV shows. We've all seen characters get hit over the head with boards or rammed head-first into a brick wall, and all they do is stagger around a little, then take off in pursuit of the bad guys. In real life, that sort of blow would result, at the least in a mild conscussion, and at worst in major head trauma and possible brain injury. Like Wyle E. Coyote falling off the cliff and never getting hurt, whereas an actual human would die.

It's a pretty common happenstance in a lot of media, but I do see quite a bit it happening in fanfiction.

Ron Weasley is the embodiment of all evil in the Harry Potter universe.

Prom is the most important thing that happens in high school. Not graduation, not winning the big game, not getting accepted to the university of your choice--prom.

Also, you'll be with your prom date forever because it's twu luv.

One thing I've learned from reading slash is if you and your best friend now boyfriend have been in a secret relationship for a while and are going to tell your OTHER friends about it, don't worry about being nervous or fear they'll freak out, because they'll be blaise and nonchalant about the whole thing and reveal that they knew, or at least suspected it, the entire time.

Anybody can become gay. ANYBODY.

Maybe this can more accurately be called "things I've learned from fanbrats" but any form of mental illness is totally an excuse to act like a total brat.

[quote="Mouse"]Maybe this can more accurately be called "things I've learned from fanbrats" but any form of mental illness is totally an excuse to act like a total brat.[/quot

I call it 'The depression=psychotic schizoid equation.' You never see anyone in movies who suffers from depression, in on medication for it, and leads a basically normal life. They're all either Woody Allen type menches who do nothing but moan, or they're full-out raging psychotic lunatics. And yes, it's frequently used as an excuse for them to act like a whiny brat because "OMG, I'm so depressed and I want to kill myself!

Note to fantwits: There's a difference between real depression and being emo. Learn it.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Note to fantwits: There's a difference between real depression and being emo. Learn it.

Fanbrats know little to nothing about mental illness, because researching facts = ugh booooooooring

Example: One mean-spirited comment about her weight is usually enough to make a heroine so insecure about herself, she'll develop an eating disorder. This will cause her to lose enough weight for her friends to notice/be concerned, but not enough to irreversibly damage her health or make her look ugly. Once her true love shows up to tell her how much he adored her former size 8, she will recover instantly.

An actor is always the same sexuality as their character. Always. A straight person never plays a gay character, and a gay person never plays a straight character.

Also, if two actors play characters who fall in love with each other, the actors must also be in a relationship. Never mind that one or both may be married to or involved with someone else--if two actors can make you believe their characters are in love, then they must also be in love in real life, and any other relationships they might have are wrong and evil because they keep the OTP apart.

And if two actors are in love, then any movies they make together will be wonderful (just to hazard a guess, most fanbrats never saw Gigli). And if two actors in a relationship who also play romantic leads together break up, cheat on each other, or have relationship problems (i.e., Kristin Stewart and Robert Pattinson), then it means that true love doesn't really exist and it's as tragic as if the mourning fanbrat came home and found their significant other cheating on them with the family dog.

saja wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Note to fantwits: There's a difference between real depression and being emo. Learn it.

Fanbrats know little to nothing about mental illness, because researching facts = ugh booooooooring

And because they're probably just writing about them because having a mental illness seems glamorous, rather than because they want to make a realistic portrayal of it.

Lady Anne wrote:

Also, if two actors play characters who fall in love with each other, the actors must also be in a relationship. Never mind that one or both may be married to or involved with someone else

Are you in the supernatural fandom, perchance?

Lurv wrote:

saja wrote:

Fanbrats know little to nothing about mental illness, because researching facts = ugh booooooooring

And because they're probably just writing about them because having a mental illness seems glamorous, rather than because they want to make a realistic portrayal of it.

Also because you can have a mental illness and be totally pretty~~ whereas physical illnesses that aren't somehow icky are kind of hard to find. Who wants a main character talking about their colon or something, when you can have ~feelings~ instead?

A couple cannot be considered to be a Tr00 Couple unless they confess their feelings formally to each other. It doesn't matter how obvious their relationship is or how far they've gone together, it's NOT resolved until both say "I love you".

All good fics end early.

grmblfjx wrote:

Lurv wrote:

saja wrote:

Fanbrats know little to nothing about mental illness, because researching facts = ugh booooooooring

And because they're probably just writing about them because having a mental illness seems glamorous, rather than because they want to make a realistic portrayal of it.

Also because you can have a mental illness and be totally pretty~~ whereas physical illnesses that aren't somehow icky are kind of hard to find. Who wants a main character talking about their colon or something, when you can have ~feelings~ instead?

I agree with y'all, but it also kind of makes me wonder. Don't most people believe that having a mental illness is somehow evidence of a lack of moral fiber, and that individuals who suffer from it are weak-willed, stupid or criminal? If many fanbrats think that developing a mental illness is 'edgy' or even 'glamorous' is this a good or a bad thing compared to the usual misconceptions?

saja wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

Lurv wrote:

saja wrote:

Fanbrats know little to nothing about mental illness, because researching facts = ugh booooooooring

And because they're probably just writing about them because having a mental illness seems glamorous, rather than because they want to make a realistic portrayal of it.

Also because you can have a mental illness and be totally pretty~~ whereas physical illnesses that aren't somehow icky are kind of hard to find. Who wants a main character talking about their colon or something, when you can have ~feelings~ instead?

I agree with y'all, but it also kind of makes me wonder. Don't most people believe that having a mental illness is somehow evidence of a lack of moral fiber, and that individuals who suffer from it are weak-willed, stupid or criminal? If many fanbrats think that developing a mental illness is 'edgy' or even 'glamorous' is this a good or a bad thing compared to the usual misconceptions?

Well, I've run into a fair number of people in my life who believed that my depression and anxiety was due to a lack of moral fiber and something I could just 'pull myself out of if I really wanted to;(including my own mother and ex-husband, who was a nurse and really should have known better).

On the other hand, I'm not sure I want fantwits 'glamorizing' what's a very real problem. What few fanfics I've seen that had a mentally ill character in them, either the person had no trouble at all (despite not being on medication ), or the mentally ill person is portrayed as a batshit insane psychopath. They don't seem to be able to hit a happy medium; yes, I suffer from depression, but as long as I take my medication I'm fine. If you didn't know I suffered from depression, you wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at me. I'm neither absolutely thin and gorgeous or hideously ugly. I look pretty much like everyone else, which would immediately disqualify me for a fanfic character, because above all else, Mary Sue's have to be super speshial.

The problem with fanfic writers (especially the young ones) is that they've never learned how to do research on a subject. Everything they write about a subject (be it mental illness, being handicapped, etc.) is based off what they've seen on TV and read on the internet (and maybe in books). Based on that criteria, I could write a novel about being fabulously wealthy. Except I've never been fabulously wealthy; I was born into a working-class family, and everything I know on the subject comes from what I've seen or read about the wealthy.

All men are rapists, except for a woman's true love.

Lady Anne wrote:

All men are rapists, except for a woman's true love.

Never quite understood that one. I mean, do they even KNOW the definition of Rape?

Longtime best friends who have known each other for years will be perfectly okay with their BFF throwing away all their years of friendship and ignoring them for some chick/dude that they barely even know.

A fanbrat's favorite song has always been popular, even centuries before the song was written.

Also, posting the lyrics of your favorite song on FF.net counts as writing a fanfic, and TPTB are just being mean when they take it down.

Lady Anne wrote:

A fanbrat's favorite song has always been popular, even centuries before the song was written.

Either that, or they're so good that, when played to somebody in a time/place different to the current one, they will instantly like it! The fact that cultural trends and tastes are completely different are irrelevant, because anything the author likes is objectively amazing. Therefore, Legolas will become a huge Evanescence fan the moment he hears Bring Me To Life.

In Mary Sue highschool stories:

There are always three mean girls
There are always two nice girls who are Mary Sue's friends.
There is never any kind of change from this formula.
The mean girls are cheerleaders.
The nice girls are nerds.
God forbid there be mean nerds, but oh well.

In slash, if teenage boys are friends and one of the boys are sleeping over at the other boy's house, the two will always sleep together in the same bed. The friend never, like, sleeps on the couch or on the floor or on a cot or the guest room (if the family has one), it's always in their friend's bed with them.

And both boys will be sleeping in nothing except their tightey-whiteys. Because this is perfectly normal behavior for two teenage boys.

...it isn't?

THEY LIED TO ME!

Everybody always has daughters when they have kids, never sons.

Ask Elrond, he has about 50000 daughters, but everyone keeps forgetting about his 2 sons. Weird.