My Life Is Average

The natural sequel to Fuck My Life, I present to you My life is average. Somehow, a series of mundane anecdotes becomes hugely hilarious:

Quote :

Today, I saw the new Harry Potter movie. As I was leaving, I heard many people discussing how it left out a lot of parts from the book. Having never read the book, I felt as though I got more satisfaction than they did. MLIA

Quote :

Today I wrote the date as 7/14, in my head I simplified the fraction to 1/2. MLIA

Quote :

Today, I shaved my legs only where my pants have holes. Nobody noticed. I feel like I've beat the system. MLIA

Quote :

Today I turned 11. I did not receive a letter from Hogwarts. MLIA

Aww.

I could have sworn you posted that a while ago... because ever since, my mind has been coming back to it and how "average" is such a bad choice. Mundane!



Edit: I know this is the wrong thread, but :>

Quote :

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

Quote :

Today, I was using my toaster. As my anticipation grew, I manually popped out my toast, so it wouldn't scare me. MLIA.

I... I do this. :unskilled78:

Quote :

I bought a pair of shorts from a second-hand store for $4. When I put them on and wore them, I found a $5 bill one of the pockets. I felt as if the pants were paying me to wear them. MLIA

Friggin' awesome.

These made me lol more than they really should have.

Quote :

Today, I was in the car with my mom. I asked her to turn the heat up, I was sick, and had chills. She replied, "Buts it's at 69, just the way you like it". She then realized what she had said. It was awkward. MLIA

Quote :

Today, I threw my frisbee into some weeds. I went looking for it, and instead found two smaller frisbees. I felt my frisbee had given birth and moved on. I mourned my frisbee, but will protect its children. MLIA

Quote :

Today, I told my car that it's ok to tell me if it is a Transformer. It didn't answer. I figure it's just waiting for the right moment. MLIA.

Narwhal wrote:

Quote :

Today, I was using my toaster. As my anticipation grew, I manually popped out my toast, so it wouldn't scare me. MLIA.

I... I do this. :unskilled78:

And people called me weird. It's not weird if other people do it too. (Wait, that doesn't make sense...)

grmblfjx wrote:

I could have sworn you posted that a while ago... because ever since, my mind has been coming back to it and how "average" is such a bad choice. Mundane!

I most probably have, maybe at the pink place.

grmblfjx wrote:

Edit: I know this is the wrong thread, but :>

Quote :

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

I have done this before.

Had that happen to me before too. Instead of her being a cardboard cutout, she was blind. :unskilled78:

Quote :

I bought a pair of shorts from a second-hand store for $4. When I put them on and wore them, I found a $5 bill one of the pockets. I felt as if the pants were paying me to wear them. MLIA

Unless MLIA stands for My Life is Awesome he was posting on the wrong site.

ZoZo wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

I could have sworn you posted that a while ago... because ever since, my mind has been coming back to it and how "average" is such a bad choice. Mundane!

I most probably have, maybe at the pink place.

Nope, found it. In "Minor awesomes".

Quote :

Today, I put my hair down and took my glasses off. I shook my head sexily. Then I realized my hair was a mess and I couldn't see. MLIA

I love this site! So much more amusing than FML!

Quote :

Today, someone sent me a chain letter. It said that a clown would be in my bedroom tonight, with a knife to kill me at 3:19AM, if I did not send the message to other people. I decided not to since I was sleeping over my friends house. I then laughed on the inside when I tried to imagine how confused a clown murderer would be, standing in my bedroom, with me not there. MLIA

Quote :

Today, I was on Facebook and wanted to become a fan of "Yelling at Inanimate Objects" I tried clicking the button, but it didn't accept. I yelled at my computer, and it then proceeded to work. I smiled at the irony. MLIA

Sometimes I wonder if this site is actually a live feed of what goes on inside my head.

Yeah, these ones are good too, hehe. But I think both sites can be hit and miss.

Lapin wrote:

Narwhal wrote:

Quote :

Today, I was using my toaster. As my anticipation grew, I manually popped out my toast, so it wouldn't scare me. MLIA.

I... I do this. :unskilled78:

And people called me weird. It's not weird if other people do it too. (Wait, that doesn't make sense...)

haha. I actually just leave the room for a bit.

Verandering wrote:

Yeah, these ones are good too, hehe. But I think both sites can be hit and miss.

Lapin wrote:

Narwhal wrote:

Quote :

Today, I was using my toaster. As my anticipation grew, I manually popped out my toast, so it wouldn't scare me. MLIA.

I... I do this. :unskilled78:

And people called me weird. It's not weird if other people do it too. (Wait, that doesn't make sense...)

haha. I actually just leave the room for a bit.

My toaster won't let me pop the toast up before its time. It makes me sad.

Quote :

Today, while walking on campus I had my iPod on. As I was walking, I saw a guy with long, beautiful hair and a clean face. Just then, my iPod went to "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" by Aerosmith. I nodded, agreeing to my music. MLIA.

I LOLed.

Quote :

Today, I was eating a cup of pudding, but to make it last longer I used a very small spoon. MLIA.

I did this once, with ice cream, and my nephew looked at me funny. It was his spoon.

Quote :

Today, I had taken a bag of potato chips out of my cabinet to eat when I saw the slogan "You can't have just one!" plastered on the side of it. I then became determined to prove it wrong. After my first chip, I continued. Potato chip bag: 1. Me: 0. MLIA

Quote :

Today, while taking a walk outside, I passed a girl who looked about
11. She was singing "santa clause is coming to town" but with some of
the words changed. I didn't realise what she was singing until I heard
"he sees you when you're sleeping. you knows when you're awake. his
name is edward cullen so be ready to get raped." you have restored my
faith in today's youth, little girl. MLIA

Faith restored indeed.