Welcome to Pro-Life Theatre part 2.
I was going to write a big old introduction into this film discussing the minds behind it and its rather illustrious history.
Now that I’ve got to the point where I’m writing the review, I honestly can’t bring myself to do it. I’m also going to tone
down the snark on this one, I just can’t make it funny. Think of this more as a summary of the film than a typical riffing.
I think it’s better if you just see the film (or at least this review) for yourselves without any framing or pretext. You
already know that it’s a pro-life piece and that’s enough for now. Let’s just get into it.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to enter… The Life Zone.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Would you believe that the Twilight Zone reference in this titlecard is intentional?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]We open as a woman jerks awake in a clinical-looking room. There are two other beds each with a woman in them.
Blondie gets up and examines the room only finding that it is well and truly sealed. Suddenly we hear a scream from
woman #2.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Brunette is terrified as she is covered in blood apparently from a wound on her leg. Blondie asks if Brunette knows
where the wound came from or if it’s still hurting and Brunette doesn’t know.
We never find out about this wound. Ever. We don’t know why she wakes up with it, why it is bleeding so much, what
caused it… Beyond a throwaway line a few scenes later asking how it’s doing and being told that it’s not bleeding
anymore we never find out anything more about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to take a moment here to discuss something that won’t come through in text and
screenshots.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]This woman right here. This woman is the worst actress ever.
It’s definitely a bad point in my credentials as a film scholar/academic/fan/whatever that I’m a pretty poor judge of
acting. I know this. At the very least it allows me to point out that if
I can note that someone is being a bad actor,
that pretty much must mean that they are absolutely fucking terrible, and I CANNOT emphasise enough just how
dreadful this woman’s performance is.
You might be astonished to learn that this film’s script isn’t up to much. Very rarely is a sentence said in this film that
can conceivably come from a human being in normal conversation, do you what to hazard a guess as to what happens
when a godawful actress is told to portray a godawful script?
We’re barely 5 mins in and this film has not yet begun to suck, and already there is a massive hurdle in the way of
getting someone to sit through the whole thing.
The girl’s hysterics are broken up by a TV set bursting into life and this guy appearing:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Who introduces us by name to our three protagonists. Blondie is Lara Posey, Brunette is Natalie Fields and Wee Willie
Winkie there still comatose in the bed (even after
Brunette Natalie shook her like a rag doll and screamed right in her face) is Staci Horowitz, and upon hearing her name called out, she wakes up and joins the others infront of the TV.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Inspector Morse there tells them that they are all there because they’ve all committed a terrible sin, and it’s up to them,
as the first part of their ordeal, to figure out what it is.
The answer comes pretty quick as Lara explains that the last think she remembers was getting prepared to have an
abortion. The other two both state that this is what they were doing also.
A door opens and this woman enters.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- You were all on an operating table. You were all willing to commit murder. And now your babies will be given life.
Just a God planned.
Yup. That’s the setup for this film folks. Three women are all abducted from their abortion clinic operating tables and are
now put in some hospital in the middle of nowhere and will be forced to carry their babies through to full term.
I’ll remind you, this film is staunchly in the pro-life category. This means that the people who have abducted three
women, and is now holding them against their will… Are the good guys. The guys we’re supposed to agree with, or at
least come around to agreeing with.
- Quote :
- Lara: You violated my most precious of constitutional rights!
Doc: What about the child’s rights? God’s rights?
Natalie chimes in:
- Quote :
- Natalie: Maybe she’s right. What about the child’s rights? I was pressured into this by Brandon.
Wait for it…
- Quote :
- Doc: I appreciate the support, Natalie, but… You shouldn't slam Brandon. You’re an adult woman, you made the
choice.
[…]
You decided to kill your baby. Brandon couldn't make you, could he?
Uuuugh…
Moving on.
We are then treated to a voxpops type montage of people giving their opinion on abortion, whether it should be legal or
not, who has them and why, when life begins and similar soundbites. Turns out that this is part of the three women’s jail
time.
I’m serious. Not only are they being forced to carry a baby to term, not only have they been removed from their homes,
their families and have been imprisoned, but they are now sentenced to seven months of non-stop abortion discussion
and debate.
I am not kidding.
After discovering this Lara comes out with a sudden change of heart. Having started being pro-choice she starts waxing
lyrical about having realising the error of her ways and now understanding that abortion is always wrong.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]It’s a bluff, of course, and Doc, Doctor Victoria Wise, calls her on her bullshit. The funny part of this scene is that I
honestly couldn’t tell if the shitty acting from Lara in this scene was deliberate or not.
Dr Wise also explains that she has used minor laser surgery to implant small electronic devices into the back of their
necks. She instructs the three to lift their hair and examine back there as none of them have, until now, noticed that
slapped on the back of their necks are giant comedy sticky plasters.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]How on earth I am supposed to believe that no one has noticed these things is beyond me.
The devices are electric shockers that will go off should they leave the facility, forcing them to pass out so that they can
be collected and replaced in the cell.
This is the only security device in place here so far as I can tell, and even if there are hundreds of armed guards
elsewhere in the complex there’s nothing stopping anyone from socking Dr. Wise in the face. Even if it accomplishes
nothing, cracking the woman in the nose will, I’m sure, help them feel better.
That night the three of them have a montage nightmare full of insects, Hitler speeches, explosions and foreigners. When
they wake up they are forced to watch another documentary.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Man in polo shirt: Obviously; abortion, at any time, is evil.
Gentle readers: Please meet this film’s writer and producer; Ken Del Vecchio.
This documentary has him, and another old white dude, sat in a smoking room, snacking on a plate of devilled eggs,
discussing women’s reproductive rights. It’s worth noting that both people in this documentary are on the anti-abortion
side, but they decide to have a reasoned debate by having one of them pretend to be on the other side. After a short
while, they switch roles.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Ken: How can I effectively argue the pro abortion stance?
Ken’s friend: You just start talking about a woman’s right to choose and her right to decide what to do with her own
body, you talk about her constitutional rights. Even though this so-called constitutional right was created by just five men
in robes.
Ken: So I don’t have an argument that we’re never not actually murdering human beings?
Friend: No. Of course you don’t. But when you artfully and emotionally talk so much nonsense about constitutional rights
and a woman’s right to choose people just become confused, and they think that because abortion is legal, that it’s
okay.
…
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Moving on we get a flashback from Dr. Wise.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
Dr. Wise: Aren’t any of you going to speak to me? Mom? Dad? This is a traumatic time for me.
Mom: It is for us too! Your poor father is just beside himself.
Dr. Wise: But it’s not my fault. I can’t control this. Dad, you’re a doctor too, you understand. It’s just not medically
possible.
Dad: You could have eaten better.
Mom: You could have stayed away from those cocktails and that red wine.
Dad: I’ve never seen you exercise.
Mom: You never got enough sleep.
Dad: You waited until 40 to get married.
Mom: You have completely failed us, Victoria.
Dad: I wanted so badly to have a grandchild.
Dr. Wise miscarried, and her family are all scumbags.
After this flashback we get another one, this time of her phoning her husband.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]In this call she claims to be pregnant again. But he tells her that he doesn’t believe her and that he has left her because
he wants a family. He needs a family.
- Quote :
- Dr. Wise: Then it’s all over for me.
Scumbags. All of them.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]And yes, that is Martin Kove The Cobra Kai sensei
from Karate Kid.
It’s never made clear here if Dr. Wise is lying here or not.
Following this we have a discussion with Dr. Wise and Natalie in which Natalie reveals that their families are aware of
their situation, that video tapes have been sent to their loved ones letting them know that they’re alright, and that
they’ve been abducted from their abortion clinics and are currently being held in a secure location and forced to carry to
full term.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Natalie asks if there is any way they can receive a video communication from their loved ones.
Dr. Wise says she’ll ask Mr. Lation (Inspector Morse, the guy on the TV) about it.
Next up is another “documentary”, this one framed as a news station conference and providing two people on the pro-
choice side. The two talking heads are this woman:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]And this guy:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]They bring up that a woman should have the right to choose when they are ready to have a child, and that, in some
cases, if a child is detected as having a disability (the film mentions spina bifida, muscular dystrophy and Down’s
Syndrome) then the parent has a right to choose whether or not to bring a child with that disability into the world.
As much as I’m loathe to give this film credit, these two people do give sound arguments for their side and are treated
fairly, which is honestly a step up from the tactics this film uses in other areas.
On the flipside: Staci, who has been presented as a troublemaker and a staunch pro-lifer (to the point that she refuses
to accept that the thing in her belly is a baby at all) punctuates this video with “Hell yeah’s” and other nods and points.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Natalie is seen disagreeing with the points entirely.
The documentary also brings up the class problem when abortion is illegal – that wealthy women will have the ability to
travel to places where the practice is legal, while poor folks will have to resort to dangerous back-alley stuff. Natalie
dismisses this as “nonsense”, Stacy dismisses Natalie’s comment with a smug “Psh” type noise rather than opening the
debate.
Also brought up are cases where the pregnancy can be a risk to the mother’s life, and those cases when rape or incest
is involved.
The documentary signs off with this:
- Quote :
- At the end of the day though, a woman has the absolute right to decide. And to have an abortion for any reason
she chooses. That’s democratic. That’s American.
Following this,
Inspector Morse Mr. Lation appears and tells them he has a surprise and asks if any of them can
guess what it is.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Natalie: Erm… No?
Mr. Lation: Pregnant women. Always eating, never thinking.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]He’s arranged a video from Natalie’s dad.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Dad is overjoyed that he’s been given the opportunity to speak to Natalie. He says that she looks good, even in the
videos he’s been sent and although Natalie looks a bit chubbier now.
He and mom are happy that they’re about to have a grandchild. They’ve set up a room ready, but don’t know wether to
paint is blue or pink. He’s even had a man-to-man talk with Brandon and he’s going to step up and be a dad.
He says that he’s sad that she didn’t go to them before she went for an abortion, but that he supported her decision then
and will continue to do so now.
…
A scene later and Staci is having a checkup with Dr. Wise. In this Staci’s complaint is that by being there Dr. Wise has
forced her to put on 30lbs.
- Quote :
- Dr. Wise: There is no extraordinary treatment for pregnant women. Unless there was something abnormal with
the pregnancy.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Stacy hatches a plan. We can tell she’s hatched a plan because this shot right here, following Dr. Wise’s line, has a
sinister music cue attached to it.
That night, she shares her idea with her fellow inmates.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Staci states that she is considering causing something to go wrong with her pregnancy. Given that Staci has been
adamant, from day one, that she flat out does not want her child and
now she realises that forcing a self-inflicted
abortion is an option. While seven months pregnant.
We get a video tape from Lara’s hubby. Who states his regret that the two of them decided, together, I might add, to put
their careers ahead of having a family.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]The video is interrupted by a scream and this:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Dr Wise yells to Natalie to start preparing for an emergency delivery, that she’ll save the baby.
Cut to... Another documentary.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Documentarinista?
- Quote :
- I had an abortion. I wasn’t raped. There wasn’t any incest. I wasn’t going to die if I gave birth. I’m not going to
use any excuses like I was too young or I wasn’t ready. I simply didn’t want to have a baby. I didn’t want to be a
mother. And yet I had all these people around me. Men mostly. Telling me that I had to carry for 9 months and give
birth. My boyfriend, my father, my brother… I think even my boss got involved. But who are these people to tell me
what I can do with my own body? I’m the one with reproductive rights. And for women, al women, know you have the
right, legally and morally, don’t let anybody bully you.
This message brought to you by:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Staci’s plan didn’t work. She and baby are fine, beyond a bump on the head.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Mt. Lation has his suspicions and grills the others to see if Staci has let on that she as planning this. Natalie and Lara all
say that Staci had given no indication that this was deliberate, and even Dr. Wise says that the whole thing looked like a
legitimate accident and that she is sure that is what it was.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Lation: If any of you hurt the baby, the consequences would be grave.
…
The gravest.
That night, Staci has a nightmare wherein a whole bunch of forigners yell at her to abort the baby in various languages.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]She wakes up and thanks the two other girls for covering for her, but says that she’s never going to change her mind.
Shortly after. Well, it’s time.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]All three women go into labour simultaneously and Dr. Wise proves that she is the greatest midwife ever by tending to
three deliveries, single handed, with no specialist equipment.
Natalie and Lara give birth to healthy children and are overjoyed.
With Scaci, however, there is a complication.
She gives birth to twins.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Staci refuses to even look at her children. We don’t get to see them either. Apparently the film’s budget
couldn’t stretch far enough to show us a single baby.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Natalie and Lara are both happy with their kids and are recovering well, but Staci is still in pain.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Dr wise goes over and drops a blood sample by her.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Dr. Wise: It’s impossible. It can’t be.
Staci: What’s impossible?
Are you ready for this?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Dr. Wise: You’re pregnant.
Staci: No! That can’t be…
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Mr. Lation: Oh yes. It can be…
When you’re in Hell.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Satan: Welcome to your eternity; Dr. Wise, Staci. Prepare for another nine months.
All three women died on the abortion clinic operating table. Dr. Wise committed suicide.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Natalie, Staci and Lara were given a chance to change their ways, to give birth to the children they killed and to accept
their place as mothers. Staci, refusing this, now has to face eternity in hell, giving birth over and over again, being
treated by a woman who could never have a child of her own and took her own life.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]The Life Zone, everyone.
I’ve got some other background info on the people involved in… this… But for now, I’ll just leave this review/summary at
this. I need a break before I can do much more.
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