50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie

The little Twilight fanfic that could is now getting a major studio film version, with Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy and Pacific Rim) and Dakota Johnson (The Social Network) playing the leads:
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However, fangirls are pretty angry that their pet actors either turned down the project, weren't available, or just weren't considered. So much so that they've started a petition to force the filmmakers to recast with actors who've already declined the project:
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Now, let me ask...has there ever been a time when petitions to recast movies to the fans' dictates have worked? Superman fans tried it twice with both Superman Returns and Man of Steel in the vain hopes of getting Tom "I don't want to wear the costume" Welling to replace Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill. (Oddly enough, Cavill was a fan-favorite for both Twilight and 50 Shades at various times.) Petitions against Ben Affleck as Batman in the next Superman movie are failing miserably as well. Protests against Daniel Craig as James Bond, Heath Ledger as the Joker, Jennifer Lawrence in the Hunger Games series, the entire Twilight cast when they were first announced...none of those panned out. And seeing as both Matt Bomer and Alexis Bledel have (a) no interest in this and (b) have better things to do, is there really a point to this? Is there ANY sense to demanding that actors who aren't interested be forced to take the roles anyway?

I mean, I know what we're dealing with here. This is going to be late-night Cinemax writ larger and dumber. But come on. If the actors they wanted either wouldn't or couldn't do it, throwing a tantrum is just stupid, not to mention unfair to the people who were cast.

^
Are you implying that Affleck as Batman is in anyway defensible?

Well, I mean, a lot of people were complaining about Heath Ledger being cast as the Joker when that was first announced and he stole the whole show and ran away with it under his arm.

But then, Heath Ledger also had a reputation as a talented, respectable actor anyway, don't think you can say the same about Ben Affleck.

No matter what way you spin it there have been too many goddamn Batman movies already. Make Wonder Woman already!

Except there will never be a Wonder Woman movie and the eventual JLA movie I know DC wants to build up to is going to be a total sausage fest.

I've already seen 1000 films starring women with oversized breasts wearing very little clothing whose weakness was having their hands tied behind their backs. Why in hell would you want to make another?

Also, for a JLA movie to materialize, they're going to have to make Green Lantern movies that don't suck, Superman movies that don't suck, Batman movies that are TRUE TO BATMAN FUCKING NERD RAGE RA'S IS IMMORTAL AND THE JOKER ISN'T WEARING GODDAMN FACE PAINT, and a Flash movie at some point.

Now that I think about it, Ryan Reynolds would have been better as Flash than as the Green Lantern.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

I've already seen 1000 films starring women with oversized breasts wearing very little clothing whose weakness was having their hands tied behind their backs.  Why in hell would you want to make another?

What about an Amazon warrior who could hand Superman his own ass on a plate?

(in theory, her powers being magic and all and with her more advanced training that, also in theory, probably rivals Batmans. At least combat-wise)

Mikey wrote:

TRUE TO BATMAN FUCKING NERD RAGE RA'S IS IMMORTAL AND THE JOKER ISN'T WEARING GODDAMN FACE PAINT

Lucky for you, that Batman isn't going to be future-hopeful-JLA-movie canon.

But seriously, from what I heard everyone in the industry isn't doing Wonder Woman because it's "too hard".

Like.... what? Marvel is making a goddamn "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie.

I'm guessing a machine-gun toting raccoon in space is easier to do than one of the most iconic superhero's of all time...

Mr.Doobie wrote:

No matter what way you spin it there have been too many goddamn Batman movies already.

There have been too many Marvel/DC superhero movies. Apparently it's a safe bet for any film makers...why come up with an original idea when you can adapt yet another graphic novel?  

Yo man, I bet you're a blast at parties.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

No matter what way you spin it there have been too many goddamn Batman movies already. Make Wonder Woman already

QFT, basically 100% of my reaction hearing about them casting another fucking Batman movie. I even like Batman, but at this point I am completely goddamn sick of him.

You know nobody cares about the 50 Shades movie when a reference to comic book casting protests becomes the focus of the topic.   

That said...as bad as the books are, isn't it at least possible that the actors involved might bring some heft to the parts? I mean, Hunnam's done some pretty diverse stuff (Nicholas Nickleby, Queer as Folk, Cold Mountain, Sons of Anarchy), so the guy has legitimate credentials. Instead of being angry because he's not some impossible pretty boy, shouldn't the fans of the book be...I don't know, curious as to what he could bring to this? He might actually give a paper-thin character like Christian Grey some much-needed dimension. Granted, I don't know much of what Dakota Johnson's capable of (she could either be a solid talent like her parents and grandmother or a Kristen Stewart-level stinker), but Hunnam at least could give this franchise some gravitas. You'd think as much as this franchise has been spoofed and ridiculed, the fans would be happy to get a leading man who's got serious acting chops.

But this is fan entitlement we're talking about here, so I guess I shouldn't be shocked that they'd rather keep everything superficial and stupid.

I really don't care much about OH NOES NOT THAT ACTOR FOR MY IMAGINARY WANKFRIEND drama, sooo... to answer your question: No. That's like expecting anyone to make the awful dialogue in the Star Wars prequel trilogy not suck ass.

Basically, the best that can be hoped for is that the people doing the screenplay realize what a crock of shit they're working with and make dramatic changes.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

I've already seen 1000 films starring women with oversized breasts wearing very little clothing whose weakness was having their hands tied behind their backs.  Why in hell would you want to make another?

What about an Amazon warrior who could hand Superman his own ass on a plate?

(in theory, her powers being magic and all and with her more advanced training that, also in theory, probably rivals Batmans. At least combat-wise)

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is. As long as he has the yellow sun, or some silly bullshit, he's completely invincible, omnipotent, has every super power, and if he doesn't have it yet, he'll have it as soon as a writer runs out of standard bullshit asspulls and gives it to him. He's 100% Boring Invincible Hero EXCEPT FOR OMG KRYPTONITE HOW WILL SUPERMAN OVERCOME THE ODDS THIS TIME?!?!? He's the DC equivalent of John Cena (or rather, Cena is the WWE equivalent of Superman). He is so saccharine and perfect and overpowered that the only conflict with his character is "OH BOOHOO I'M TOO STRONG I MIGHT HURT SOMEONE IF I SHAKE THEIR HAND!1!!" He is the worst character in the history of fiction and needs to die forever.

Spoonman wrote:

I'm guessing a machine-gun toting raccoon in space is easier to do than one of the most iconic superhero's of all time...

PFFFFAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wonder Woman isn't even Top 5 Most Iconic Super Heroes of All Time. Batman, Superman (HAET), Flash, Wolverine, Spiderman, and possibly even the Green Latern and Frank Castle rank above Wonder Woman. MAYBE if you limit it to DC Super Heros, which JLA would, she cracks the top 5.

Spoonman wrote:

But seriously, from what I heard everyone in the industry isn't doing Wonder Woman because it's "too hard".

Have Jessica Beil run around in a tube top for 90 minutes. People will go to see it. It's only "complicated" because they're making it complicated.

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Instead of being angry because he's not some impossible pretty boy, shouldn't the fans of the book be...I don't know, curious as to what he could bring to this?

Not really, if you are not going to cast pretty boys in the movie adaptation of a porno book for women then wtf are you even doing?

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is.  As long as he has the yellow sun, or some silly bullshit, he's completely invincible, omnipotent, has every super power, and if he doesn't have it yet, he'll have it as soon as a writer runs out of standard bullshit asspulls and gives it to him.  He's 100% Boring Invincible Hero EXCEPT FOR OMG KRYPTONITE HOW WILL SUPERMAN OVERCOME THE ODDS THIS TIME?!?!?  He's the DC equivalent of John Cena (or rather, Cena is the WWE equivalent of Superman).  He is so saccharine and perfect and overpowered that the only conflict with his character is "OH BOOHOO I'M TOO STRONG I MIGHT HURT SOMEONE IF I SHAKE THEIR HAND!1!!"  He is the worst character in the history of fiction and needs to die forever.

Well said!! I've never liked Superman, for those very reasons. I don't generally like superheroes anyway, but Superman is definitely the one I like least.

As for the 50 Shades film...well that was only a matter of time. We all knew it was going to happen. I really don't understand the popularity of this book. The only thing I can think of is that it's been marketed so well that people feel they need to read it just because it's popular.

Anyway, I'm not going to watch it. I'm not going to watch Superman either, or Batman, or the next Avengers/Iron Man/Hulk/whatever they make next.

Cunovendus wrote:

I don't generally like superheroes anyway

Are you aware that your avatar is a space elf?

A 50 Shades of Grey movie?
how exciting
isn't three thirds of that book contracts and emails?

Cunovendus wrote:

I really don't understand the popularity of this book.

Forty-five year old women don't know that they can find mediocre creepy bondage-porn fiction on the internet.

Mikey wrote:

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is.

One of Superman's weaknesses is magic. Considering Wonder Woman is magic she could probably just punch a hole through his chest.

So you don't like Superman, but you're fine with Wolverine who's one of the most egregious examples of fandom-pushed power-creep in comic book memory?

Quote :

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is.

I don't think you realize what a blatantly dishonest, ignorant, and superficial statement this is. I also don't think you realize how this statement can be applied to ANY superhero character who's played up as the company pet (Batman, Wolverine, Deadpool, etc.).

Quote :

As long as he has the yellow sun, or some silly bullshit, he's completely invincible, omnipotent, has every super power, and if he doesn't have it yet, he'll have it as soon as a writer runs out of standard bullshit asspulls and gives it to him.

Except for the fact that he's constantly fighting enemies who either match or outclass him (Brainiac, Doomsday, Darkseid, Manchester Black, Parasite, etc.) and gets his ass kicked regularly. Just because he's got a large power set doesn't mean he can't be beaten or killed.

Oh, wait. You're too stupid to acknowledge this, because you spew this oft-repeated and 100% false line:

Quote :

He's 100% Boring Invincible Hero EXCEPT FOR OMG KRYPTONITE HOW WILL SUPERMAN OVERCOME THE ODDS THIS TIME?!?!?

**takes a look at all the Superman villains who don't use kryptonite at all** Spoken like a ignorant flame-baiter who knows nothing of what he's talking about.

Quote :

He is so saccharine and perfect and overpowered that the only conflict with his character is "OH BOOHOO I'M TOO STRONG I MIGHT HURT SOMEONE IF I SHAKE THEIR HAND!1!!"

Except for the fact that he's a perpetual outsider because he's one of the last of his kind and can never fully fit in with humanity, and most of his other surviving kinsmen are the mass murderers and tyrants his home planet rejected.

Except for the fact that he has consistently poor judgment when it comes to picking friends and loved ones, ultimately choosing those who are all too willing to mistreat him and stab him in the back (Batman, Lois Lane).

Except for the fact that he's constantly struggling with responsibility of power and how much he really can do lest he become a damaging force to human society, and being expected by some to cross those moral lines he's wary of.

Except for the fact that having fought some of the worst the universe and Earth have to offer has him paranoid about eventually becoming the very thing he hates most.

Except for the fact that people expect him to be a flawless, perfect, infallible being when he knows full well he isn't, and knows his failures and faults can and often do have grave consequences.

Except for the fact that he's hated and reviled in-universe for (a) having moral standards, (b) not being able to do everything and save everybody, and (c) is faced with mistrust and fear because he has this kind of power.

Do you even think before you post? Ever? Even a little bit?

Quote :

He is the worst character in the history of fiction and needs to die forever.

Keep telling yourself that.

Quote :

Well said!! I've never liked Superman, for those very reasons.

Too bad those reasons are ignorant bullshit and have no validity to them whatsoever. It's one thing to not like a character, but a totally different thing to spew nonsense that isn't even supported by the source material at all.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Mikey wrote:

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is.

One of Superman's weaknesses is magic. Considering Wonder Woman is magic she could probably just punch a hole through his chest.

IIRC he is only weak against magic in the sense that he has no particular resistance to it. So someone magically strong like Wonder Woman is not going to auto kill him, how well she does is based on comparative strengths like anyone else. HOWEVER, the magic lasso would totally work on him. And, like, in theory Zatanna would be able to brainwash him or any of the other stuff she has been shown to do to people with her powers I really want to know why that is not a plot line yet.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

So you don't like Superman, but you're fine with Wolverine who's one of the most egregious examples of fandom-pushed power-creep in comic book memory?

Oh jeez Wolverine, fuck that guy.

Superman's metafictional weakness is that he has no turmoil. Batman, turmoil. Spiderman, turmoil. Wolverine (he's pretty Marty-Stu-ish though), turmoil. Superman has all the great powers AND the living adoptive parents. Lucky him, I guess.

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

(Litany of Super Angst)

Yeah, none of those actually make him interesting.

ViewSonic wrote:

A 50 Shades of Grey movie?
how exciting
isn't three thirds of that book contracts and emails?

And the emails are the best part, from what I can remember.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Mikey wrote:

I think you don't grasp how broken and boring Superman is.

One of Superman's weaknesses is magic. Considering Wonder Woman is magic she could probably just punch a hole through his chest.

So you don't like Superman, but you're fine with Wolverine who's one of the most egregious examples of fandom-pushed power-creep in comic book memory?

Wolverine has had some pretty bad power creep due to writers constantly trying to top one another.  Apparently, he can survive being hit in the face with a nuke, or something, and being reduced JUST to his adamantium skeleton.  All of his other "powers" followed logically.  If he has that SUPARHEALINGFACTOR, he could survive and recover from having his bones replaced with invulnerable metal (how they kept him from healing as soon as they cut him, I don't know).  That would cause his brain to be almost invulnerable, being mostly encased in adamantium, which would allow him to heal from pretty much any wound.  This recovery factor, in addition to his age, would cause him to be at the genetic limit for human strength, as strength is trained basically through stress, recovery, and supercompensation.  Recovering in moments, instead of weeks as ordinary top tier powerlifters, would allow him to build strength at an insane rate.

But there is still no goddamn explanation beyond "BECAUSE I SAID SO I'M A WRITER, I AM THE VOICE OF GOD FUCK YOU!!1!" for him being able to recover from a nuke to the face.

Plus Wolverine's powers are pretty much limited to one (healing), bolstered by things that logically follow from that.  Superman all of a sudden has X-Ray vision and heat vision and super speed and can fly and craps solid gold and god damn it I hate him so much because LOLYELLOWLIGHT!1!! Even so, Wolverine can get boring because, you know, there's no suspense or anything when the man is essentially unstoppable.

It's better when a villain is booked to be unstoppable, and it takes a frantic effort or a very clever solution to put a dent in them. See: T-800, the Reapers, Caesar/Legate Lanius/the Legion in general, and more.

As far as Wonder Woman vs Superman goes, Wonder Woman would only have a chance if magic made her MUCH tougher that one would expect.  She has great strength, but as far as I know (and this may vary on the writer), her only defensive power is her bracelets.  Which means that if Superman can land a punch anywhere else (and he will because he's as fast as the Flash because FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY) it would be a very short fight. Or if she has some magic ability to rob Superman of his powers.

Even if she is super tough, he can still fly into space and throw the moon at her or something fucking stupid.

Fuck Superman.

MCBG wrote:

Except for the fact that he's constantly fighting enemies who either match or outclass him (Brainiac, Doomsday, Darkseid, Manchester Black, Parasite, etc.) and gets his ass kicked regularly. Just because he's got a large power set doesn't mean he can't be beaten or killed.

And then he's all of a sudden strong enough to OVERCOME THE ODDS THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL/writer ass pull and win. Just like John Cena. And just like John Cena, it got stale fucking forever ago.

MCBG wrote:

Except for the fact that he's a perpetual outsider because he's one of the last of his kind and can never fully fit in with humanity, and most of his other surviving kinsmen are the mass murderers and tyrants his home planet rejected.

Except for the fact that he has consistently poor judgment when it comes to picking friends and loved ones, ultimately choosing those who are all too willing to mistreat him and stab him in the back (Batman, Lois Lane).

Except for the fact that he's constantly struggling with responsibility of power and how much he really can do lest he become a damaging force to human society, and being expected by some to cross those moral lines he's wary of.

Except for the fact that having fought some of the worst the universe and Earth have to offer has him paranoid about eventually becoming the very thing he hates most.

Except for the fact that people expect him to be a flawless, perfect, infallible being when he knows full well he isn't, and knows his failures and faults can and often do have grave consequences.

Except for the fact that he's hated and reviled in-universe for (a) having moral standards, (b) not being able to do everything and save everybody, and (c) is faced with mistrust and fear because he has this kind of power.

So he's an emo 16 year old who is dumber than shit who is obsessed with the minor details of what strangers think about him? Do you think this makes him an interesting character? He's a god with the "mental issues" of a 15 year old girl. It is completely impossible for any reader/viewer to relate to him.

Just thought I'd leave this here.

Mikey wrote:

As far as Wonder Woman vs Superman goes, Wonder Woman would only have a chance if magic made her MUCH tougher that one would expect. She has great strength, but as far as I know (and this may vary on the writer), her only defensive power is her bracelets. Which means that if Superman can land a punch anywhere else (and he will because he's as fast as the Flash because FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY) it would be a very short fight. Or if she has some magic ability to rob Superman of his powers.

Her powers are pretty much the same as Billy Batson's, and Batson had Superman on the ropes in "Kingdom Come".

The simple fact is Superman's powers don't work on things that are magic. Not only is Wonder Woman made of magic, being a clay statue brought to life by the Greek gods (or a demigod, daughter of Zeus in the New 52), but her whole arsenal is magic. The lasso, her shield, her sword, her bracelets (which can also shoot lightning in the New 52), even her armor in "Kingdom Come" was probably magic.

Also, Wonder Woman can fly too.