Plenty of Fish

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Or you could learn by doing. I can't imagine it would be pleasant for either of you to with Icy Hot.

No. No I am sure it would not be pleasant.

Unless you're trying to take on that thing Rae posted, is lube even really a huge factor in female masturbation?

grmblfjx wrote:

But where are you going to find another person's mouth? A willing one, I mean? I'm pretty sure pouring it straight on your junk doesn't get the same kind of effect.

He could just put it in his own mouth, spit it out... then..... apply?

Hrmmmm. That probably wouldn't work either.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

But where are you going to find another person's mouth? A willing one, I mean? I'm pretty sure pouring it straight on your junk doesn't get the same kind of effect.

He could just put it in his own mouth, spit it out... then..... apply?

Hrmmmm. That probably wouldn't work either.

No, no. You have to spit it out, then apply the mouth. It has to be diluted to near-homeopathic levels. And while I wouldn't put it past Mikey to try blowing himself, I doubt he'd go with the whole rib removal hoopla. He took Business 101, after all, and spending thousands on surgery when he could theoretically just get a blow job for a twenty or something (?? Not closely aquainted with the rates, here) is just plain bad investing. I mean think of the opportunity cost.

grmblfjx wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

But where are you going to find another person's mouth? A willing one, I mean? I'm pretty sure pouring it straight on your junk doesn't get the same kind of effect.

He could just put it in his own mouth, spit it out... then..... apply?

Hrmmmm. That probably wouldn't work either.

No, no. You have to spit it out, then apply the mouth. It has to be diluted to near-homeopathic levels. And while I wouldn't put it past Mikey to try blowing himself, I doubt he'd go with the whole rib removal hoopla. He took Business 101, after all, and spending thousands on surgery when he could theoretically just get a blow job for a twenty or something (?? Not closely aquainted with the rates, here) is just plain bad investing. I mean think of the opportunity cost.

But it's not quite like that. It's either a one time surgery for INFINITE BLOW JOBS, or $20 per blow job. So one would have to consider how often one would be paying for blow jobs against how often they would be willing to blow themselves.

GET ON MY LEVEL

I did take that into account (and I'm a little insulted that you would think I didn't). If you opt out of the surgery and invest that money -let's say you go for Barclay's certificate of deposit, at 1.8%; the surgery is supposedly up to 15 grand; we're looking at a monthly blow job and an extra one for Christmas and your initial investment is untouched.

Let's be honest, a blow job every month is probably a huge step up from where you are now. And if you ever feel that self-fellatio is totally not too sad for you, all that money is still sitting there, waiting for you to hand it to a plastic surgeon who wouldn't dream of snickering behind your back.

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And if you ever feel that self-fellatio is totally not too sad for you

Hey! If I could give myself blowjobs I'd never leave the house.

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No, no. You have to spit it out, then apply the mouth. It has to be diluted to near-homeopathic levels.

Gargle, spit, gargle, spit, gargle, spit, then apply directly to penis.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

And if you ever feel that self-fellatio is totally not too sad for you

Hey! If I could give myself blowjobs I'd never leave the house.

Quote :

No, no. You have to spit it out, then apply the mouth. It has to be diluted to near-homeopathic levels.

Gargle, spit, gargle, spit, gargle, spit, then apply directly to penis.

Then gargle and spit some more.

grmblfjx wrote:

Unless you're trying to take on that thing Rae posted, is lube even really a huge factor in female masturbation?

It depends. Some vagina-havers just don't produce sufficient lubrication, especially when there are hormonal THINGS happening (such as menopause). Also, since penises tend to come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes a little extra lube is necessary. Oh, and sex in water often requires silicone lube, since natural lube is water-soluble.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Hey! If I could give myself blowjobs I'd never leave the house.

I wouldn't be tempted to lick my private bits, even if I could. Is it just me?
Girls?

rae wrote:

since penises tend to come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes a little extra lube is necessary.

Yeah, but we're not talking about filling your fleshlight with IcyHot, here. Men apparently often use lotion or something for the plain hand-on-penis deal. I'm not aware of that being as much of a trope for women.

How about a dating site for meeting boxers?

"Plenty of Fist"

?

Knorg,
expecting hole-gaping reply.

Cyberwulf wrote:

(it's because most of us make our own)

Yeah, that was kind of my question. Because Mikey was talking about "[girls] masturbating with IcyHot", and I was going to march in here and say GIRLS MASTURBATING WITH ________ isn't a thing like it is for men, YOU IDJIT!!! ...but then I wasn't sure if that's just me. I mean men are perfectly capable of fapping dry, if you will, but they use stuff anyway. And how many RL discussions have I had with girls about their self-love habits? You're basically met with blank stares and some uncomfortable coughing.

grmblfjx wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

(it's because most of us make our own)

Yeah, that was kind of my question. Because Mikey was talking about "[girls] masturbating with IcyHot", and I was going to march in here and say GIRLS MASTURBATING WITH ________ isn't a thing like it is for men, YOU IDJIT!!! ...but then I wasn't sure if that's just me.

I figured that.

My point was that Reepy was "extrapolating" what it must have felt like when she could very easily learn by doing, even if she normally wouldn't need any artificial lube.

Well, lube is not necessary for me, but I use it sometimes for funsies. You can get all sorts of interesting balms and warming gels and what-not to play around with when you get bored.

And one of the ones I use has menthol in it. So yeah.

Fun fact, I don't actually masturbate. Boyfriend bought KY his&hers or whatever, but what can I say, it doesn't compare to listerine.


To get back on topic:


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''watch ur thoughts,for they become words.Watch ur words ,for they become actions.Watch ur actions,for they become habits.Watch ur habits,for they become ur character, for it become s ur destiny.What we think, we become.''

No idea where that came from, but I am told it was posted on a dating profile of some sort.

OK found something better:

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About Me
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO DIE? IT’S NOT PRETTY COOL, IT ****ING HURTS AND IT WON’T GO AWAY AND NOBODY WILL BELIEVE ME….MYSTERIONI am MysterionGirl I am the parralel of Kenny Mccormick) I live in the parralel universe of south park, mi human name is gez, nicknames are beetlejuice, jinx, emogirl, wednesdai- you get the picture^^random. . um im very shy nd il leave the rest so you have something to talk about. . I have been messed about a lot by guys btw so if ur not serious about getting to know me please dont bother sending me a message okai? I have mi own way of spelling sum wordes but that doesnt mean ima dumb!!

Yeah btw I hav a pretti bit obsessioon with death and ima bit pessimistic..

Yesh I know mi pictures suck..I ain’t pretty

Okai heres a quiz for you guys when you message me answer these questions?

Do you prefer:
1 Emo or goth or neither
2 Hugs or kisses
3 curly or straight hair
4 christmas or halloween
5 south park or family guy
6 sun or rain
7 daylight or nighttime
8 Red, purple or Black
9 Screamo or heavy metal
10 Burnt to death or drown to death or strangled to death

um thats all i can think of..for now >

Love 3
creative writing e.g i write dark poetry)
imaginating things
Shopping!
Reaper (Tv series)
skinny jeans FTW
Brands like Iron Fist, Criminal Damage, Living Dead Souls, poizen industries etc.
Hugs to cheer me up
confusing people
zombies (but i wanna kill them!)
vampires
strange or quirky sense of humour
Not caring about what others think of me
Being spoiled!!
The saying “Just a lil bit!”
SOUTH PARK ERIC CARTMAN (THE COON) N KENNY (MYSTERION)N TWEEK
TIM BURTON FILMS
SCREAMO AND HEAVY METAL
etc. . .btw thats not in order
Hate:
chavs n wannabes (laame!)
heights
wasps and spiders
arguments
coconut and coffee
crowds
big brother
mornings!!
brats
guys who are interested for a bit then jus drop me =[
people who use chav talk and guido like you mad brah? ****ing annoys the sh*tout of me!!
annoying people
cheaters (weeak!)
judgement
rnb, jazz n classical music (not cool! totally lame!)
rants

im looking for a caring guy who lets me be miself n is honest n trustworthy n makes me feel loved, doesnt play mind games n also wants me for more than one thing. . aka im not th kind of girl who jumps straight into bed with a guy. . i like to get to knw the guy first and see where it goes.

I guess you might be a little bit scaared haha but I dont bite..much xD

Sorry for the loooong profile btw well done if your still reading..those who zoned out halfway through well i guess you dont like reading!! I also find it easier to write stuff than talk to people I don’t know but once I get to know them I’m usually less shy

Oh yeah i guess I’m called the clam cas well ..go figure >

oh btw LIPS DON’T KISS, THEY KILL! >



First Date
I BITE ON THE FIRST DATE! > JK ….uum im happy with jus going for a pizza or something as long as its away from those god damn chavs they are so ****ing laame!

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I have mi own way of spelling sum wordes but that doesnt mean ima dumb!!

Oh Mikey, honey, it is OK to be lonely. You do not have to turn into an emogirl.

Another PoF profile:

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About me

My whole life it was obvious I was going to end up in this city. London.My russian friend used to describe me as An incredibly attractive man (Model) I can say and here Iam with. Black suit and black hat . I can’t help it, I don’t try to be, I just am .When I first came out here, I had a dream – a dream of an easy life.fun sex to be like in movies It did happen but i was gonna get rich from lyin’ around having my picture taken. As model every where and f*ck 6′ girls who weighed 69 lbs. Guess what? Some of what I need get in the road.added in my free time I like the life of the party and leader of some groups,,spontaneous and extremely random in funny way ,I adore EXtreme Sports and exotic TRavelling to different cities somethat’s sense of crazy adventurous isnt it .

When it comes to relationships I see Human relationships and Social relations should be lucid and flexible I like to share ideas and help in field of social dynamics.I live my life as intensely,richly,and Purposefully as possible .I love women they like me back as i hangout with them giving them advise on what to pick up for clothes .desginig clothes for them…hair cutts etc I like shopping when I got free time with my friends….it is best time ever with some amazing girls as friends ..My Girls often describe me as
“crazy” (in a good way.) I like to keep them on their toes.I am
proactive. I am a risk-taker. I escalate. I lead things in a natural
and fun way—and I never come across as pushy.I have a lot to bring to the table. I radiate the energy, humor, and
creativity necessary to keep things fun and stimulating..,I dont mind to go for challengence and **** the fear of life !added that iam social jack rabbit …ever are u too ?

Why does everyone spell like...idiots? Do they not know how to use spellchecker? I'd except this sort of shit on The Pit. Is the site free or what? I mean, they could try to be at least a little professional.

Probably because proper spelling and grammar has long ceased to be a requirement in every day life, so nobody bothers to learn it.

In other words, y shud i rite propli wen i got txtspk, enit?

I really hope animal training means leashing up a human....

Well, here is one that is spelled correctly n' shit:

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My Self-Summary


I am athletic and fit — I am a member of a Fitness Club where I work out. During the summer I swim 2 miles a day about 4 times a week, I enjoy running 6+ miles at a time – So I am fit, slender and firm. Educated (masters degree) and Professional. Better then average looks. I love to foreplay, and after play – I am very playful. Love the outdoors � hiking, camping, tennis, canoeing, current events, reading & small business issues. I like to intelligent discussions with a dash of humor added.

I am intelligent, considerate, and thoughtful


I'm really good at


Financial Analysis, beach Volleyball, endurance exercises (swimming 6.2 miles, running 20 miles, biking 100 miles, flat water kyaking long distances), business, understanding history (not memorizing it),

The first things people usually notice about me


attractive eyes, thoughtful, cares about others

My favorite books, movies, music, and food


Movie: Terminator, Matrix, & “Sleepless in Seatle”
Food: Pizza & BBQ
Music: New rock
Books: Books on politics, current events, history (from a non-traditional viewpoint), Mysteries

I never get tired of talking about current events, history (how it relates to current events), & small business issues. Some of the books that I have recently read may give you an idea as to where my interests are: The Prize (history of the oil industry), The Triumph of Liberty (2,000 year history of Liberty and freedom), The New Prohibition (history and current view points on legalizing drugs from law enforcement and business people), A call to Conscience (speeches of MLK), How Capitalism Saved America, State of Fear by Michael Crichton (global warming), FDR’s Folly (how FDR made the great depression longer), Lives at Risk (review of national health insurance around the world), The Year 1,000 (what it was like for an ordinary person to live a thousand years ago)

Don’t let my list of books scare you away. I do enjoy intelligent conversation, however I can talk about just about anything (part of my job is sales).

I like art. For a HUGE picture of the Sistine Chapel:

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Tell me if you like it.

The six things I could never do without


Exercise
reading
business
intelligent conversation
sex
nature

I spend a lot of time thinking about


Making the world a better place. “Outside the box” thinker who question the status quo.

On a typical Friday night I am


Going out for dinner and reading

The most private thing I'm willing to admit


I am an expert Hula Hooper. I can keep a Hula Hoop up for up to 30 min.

I'm looking for


Girls who like guys
Ages 28-59
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

You should message me if


You have some (not all required) of the following qualities or interests:
Intelligent conversation
Current events
Take care of your body (because you only get one in your life)
nature
sex
You are ok with seeing a attractive intelligent guy who happens to be married.

Did you catch it?

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happens to be married

Srsly, do not slip that shit in at the end, asshole.

Ooh. He sounds a delight. Can't see why you wouldn't sign up to be a long term bit on the side.

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Don’t let my list of books scare you away. I do enjoy intelligent conversation, however I can talk about just about anything (part of my job is sales).

Wow! He could even talk to idiots like us! He is selling himself well.

And here is an ad that probably dropped all kinds of panties:

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SEX ADDICT 57M

very horny 57m sex addict looking for women who want all their holes filled 2 or 3 times a week// I am Married to a friggid wife , I dont have sex with her so I am here to offer sex to any willing young women.

Younger in 19-30 range or up to 35.

I would like meet at the Super 8 motel in XXXXXXX. you cannot sleepover, but I will buy you dinner before or after at the sizzler steakhouse.. Would prefer a married young woman and sex addict . Must enjoy sucking cock / swalowing

Clean, disease free, twats only// also will get you pregnant if desired//

Do not dare ask me for money I am not looking for protsitutes.I will buy youre dinner up to $15 dollars at sizzler

if interested please call