"Lor from Gloom" An Entire Story in Sindarish.

Lor o Fuin Sindarin version by Itar94

I decided to give her the copula she likes using so much, the bad verb conjugation, accent-mistakes, and accept the Noldorin (but not the Quenya) she has mixed in, just to make this easier to understand.

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Lor o Fuin [Sindarin]

Lor from Gloom [Sindarish]

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I erin nant, ahdelieil o galadhad nant mor fuin. Gern lant ellon o rosc a lego nant. Huin megil garant o cam. Tádgarant findúr odú, medui ant fin o gilgalad.

The on the was, with hidings from two-trees was black of gloom. Clearing old of Elf-man from brown and lego was. They swords it had from a hand. Two it had hair-dark from darkness, last is a gift of hair from starlight.

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Hende lún tirant hain – i ellon úthír hain.

A hende of lún watched them (referring to inanimate objects) - the elf-man of no-face is inanimate objects.

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Neveil in ellon nant húd o ungol, in úne tó echant Eryn Lasgalen sinteil mae anwaith. Taur-o-Fuin, nant ennas coth darthant oialer sad.

Neveil of the (plural) elf-man was an assembly from a spider, of the (plural) not in a tó it made Wood of Greenleaf feet-these are well to people.

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I ungol ahellon cost. Er sigil úorthant o lú nant, anc saen harneil rívmoe, maeg ráw – i lanc agarwaen nant. Min estentasar rath ennas nallant a lang drammant i úan mór. I ellon harnant na coe dantant; i sae peniant o hon hi. Megil a penga orthant nant, hediant, trí ráw talt a sereg tobeil i coe. Nall o harnant pathrant i gwilith. Thuieil róvan nant.

The spider with an Elf-man is a quarrel. Dagger lone not raised from time was, wounding jaw of saen is soft treebark, sharp is a lion - the throat bloodstained was. One very short tasar of a riverbed there cried and a cutlass hammered the monster of darkness. The Elfman wounded with earth it fell; the sae fixed from him now. A sword and a penga raised was, it hurled, through insecure lion and covering blood the earth. Nall from it wounded it filled the air.

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O golv er hén nalleil nant.

From a branch eye lone weeping was.

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“Penneth, únall. Sch ...”

"Youngone, no-nall. Sch..."

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I lammen o hon naneth teithant hon uin lor o fuin. Edhelneth nant o elleth, i lebed o hon deliant hen glorfin ahi dúhammand he garant. “Únall, Lasseth nîn ... Er lor nant?”

The my tongue from him mother wrote him from the lor fom gloom. Youngelf was from a Elf-woman, the finger from him it concealed this golden light of hair with the darkness clothing she had. "No-nall, my Lasseth ... Lor lone was?"

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Lúnland hende thírant o hen. Huin pathrant o nini. Harn i elu he thír, a he anírant an úeruilú hi rac úgarant sadant bo he iond.

Wide lún of hende face-gift from this. They it filled from nini. Wounded the pale blue she face, and she desired for no desert the time now rac it didn't have place-gift on she is a son.

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“Lor ... lor um,” hon nír flosant, he garant hennant i bronadui estel o Ambar o fuin. I tithen neth gostant.

"Lor ... lor is evil," him tear whisper-gift, she had eye-gift the hope enduring from World from gloom. The young little was afraid.

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“Ha natho brand ... úpede o han, Lasseth ... Ha hinia.” Hen mathant i thír o hén ahlairant hon i haust ade, tobant o tob hon. Garent hon maerdú he úcalad i calar o dúhaerpein. Ir hen echant gwannen, ennas moe ninient.

"It web from lofty ... not pede from it, Lasseth ... it is eye-abyss." Her it touched the face from an eye with lairant him the bed and line, it covered from tob him.

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“Saes, úgwannen, nana,” lammen o i hén tulant o haust. “Fuie mor. Fuie eriol niel ...”

Saes, not dead, mommy," my tongue from the eye of tulant from a bed. "Fuie of darkness. Rising fuie of niel ..."

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Er SMILE moe peliant thar he LIPS. Hen SAT bo i haustpel a garant neth bor o Lasseth he. Han ringant; hen henient han ahsad er KISS bo rívmoe. “Han e brand, Legolas. Idho. Non ú-oiale oneil fuin le n'gadant.”

SMILE lone is soft it spread stiff grass he LIPS. SAT this is on the bed of fenced field and it had vassal young from Lasseth she. It gift-cold; her it understood it with a place KISS lone on soft tree bark. "It he/she is lofty, Legolas. Idho. I am not oiale from gloom third you are n'gadant."

So, I searched the author's notes for hints at where this person went wrong. And boy, the author's notes are long. Longer than the story, in fact. I think I've zeroed into the source of the problems.

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Credits: I found this wonderful website, www(.)silindor(.)com/~nevrast3/index(.)html, which got alot of things from Lord of the Rings, and the biggest Sindarin/Quenya-English dictionary (and a short grammar section for both langauges) I have found yet. This has come in very handy as well as the LotR and other Tolkien books when I wrote this. I also found elvish at www(.)Arwen-Undomiel(.)come. Thanks all those who've put the effort to make these! It's easier than searching in books for one single word you've lost.

These are sourced put together by people know know nothing about Tolkien's languages or linguistics in general. They put Elvish sections on their websites as a cool gimmick. Of all the Grelvish-esque sources out there, these are the worst because they pose as good sources. :bang:

Garo 'lass!

Let's play, 'Try to make sense of it all!' Keep in mind the bolded is only a guess.

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

Lor o Fuin Sindarin version by Itar94

I decided to give her the copula she likes using so much, the bad verb conjugation, accent-mistakes, and accept the Noldorin (but not the Quenya) she has mixed in, just to make this easier to understand.

Quote :

Lor o Fuin [Sindarin]

Lor from Gloom [Sindarish]

Quote :

I erin nant, ahdelieil o galadhad nant mor fuin. Gern lant ellon o rosc a lego nant. Huin megil garant o cam. Tádgarant findúr odú, medui ant fin o gilgalad.

The on the was, with hidings from two-trees was black of gloom. Clearing old of Elf-man from brown and lego was. They swords it had from a hand. Two it had hair-dark from darkness, last is a gift of hair from starlight.

Two male elves stood in a clearing. One had brown hair; the other was blonde. Both had swords.

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Hende lún tirant hain – i ellon úthír hain.

A hende of lún watched them (referring to inanimate objects) - the elf-man of no-face is inanimate objects.

There was a statue of an elf there--it had no face. It watched them, dsespite having no face.

Quote :

Neveil in ellon nant húd o ungol, in úne tó echant Eryn Lasgalen sinteil mae anwaith. Taur-o-Fuin, nant ennas coth darthant oialer sad.

Neveil of the (plural) elf-man was an assembly from a spider, of the (plural) not in a tó it made Wood of Greenleaf feet-these are well to people.


A spider made the statue; it was made of Greenleaf wood. Greenleaf wood is good for making things.

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I ungol ahellon cost. Er sigil úorthant o lú nant, anc saen harneil rívmoe, maeg ráw – i lanc agarwaen nant. Min estentasar rath ennas nallant a lang drammant i úan mór. I ellon harnant na coe dantant; i sae peniant o hon hi. Megil a penga orthant nant, hediant, trí ráw talt a sereg tobeil i coe. Nall o harnant pathrant i gwilith. Thuieil róvan nant.

The spider with an Elf-man is a quarrel. Dagger lone not raised from time was, wounding jaw of saen is soft treebark, sharp is a lion - the throat bloodstained was. One very short tasar of a riverbed there cried and a cutlass hammered the monster of darkness. The Elfman wounded with earth it fell; the sae fixed from him now. A sword and a penga raised was, it hurled, through insecure lion and covering blood the earth. Nall from it wounded it filled the air.

The spider returned; it attacked one of the elves. There was a struggle; one was wounded in the throat and falls bleeding. The other continues to fight.

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O golv er hén nalleil nant.

From a branch eye lone weeping was.

Quote :

“Penneth, únall. Sch ...”

"Youngone, no-nall. Sch..."

It was the younger of the two that was wounded; someone watching from the trees shed tears for him and spoke reassurances.

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I lammen o hon naneth teithant hon uin lor o fuin. Edhelneth nant o elleth, i lebed o hon deliant hen glorfin ahi dúhammand he garant. “Únall, Lasseth nîn ... Er lor nant?”

The my tongue from him mother wrote him from the lor fom gloom. Youngelf was from a Elf-woman, the finger from him it concealed this golden light of hair with the darkness clothing she had. "No-nall, my Lasseth ... Lor lone was?"
The young elf heard his mother's voice from the darkness--apparently she was the one watching them. He couldn't see her in the shadows, but she had dark clothing on and was blonde.

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Lúnland hende thírant o hen. Huin pathrant o nini. Harn i elu he thír, a he anírant an úeruilú hi rac úgarant sadant bo he iond.

Wide lún of hende face-gift from this. They it filled from nini. Wounded the pale blue she face, and she desired for no desert the time now rac it didn't have place-gift on she is a son.

Her son was dying--turning blue. There was no time to be wasted.

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“Lor ... lor um,” hon nír flosant, he garant hennant i bronadui estel o Ambar o fuin. I tithen neth gostant.

"Lor ... lor is evil," him tear whisper-gift, she had eye-gift the hope enduring from World from gloom. The young little was afraid.

He whispered to her about the evil spider--named Lor--as it seemed dark around him; he was afraid.

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“Ha natho brand ... úpede o han, Lasseth ... Ha hinia.” Hen mathant i thír o hén ahlairant hon i haust ade, tobant o tob hon. Garent hon maerdú he úcalad i calar o dúhaerpein. Ir hen echant gwannen, ennas moe ninient.

"It web from lofty ... not pede from it, Lasseth ... it is eye-abyss." Her it touched the face from an eye with lairant him the bed and line, it covered from tob him.
'It has a huge web--stay away from it,' he warned her as she softly touched his face and covered him with blankets.

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“Saes, úgwannen, nana,” lammen o i hén tulant o haust. “Fuie mor. Fuie eriol niel ...”

Saes, not dead, mommy," my tongue from the eye of tulant from a bed. "Fuie of darkness. Rising fuie of niel ..."


'I'm not dead yet, mommy,' he whimpered like a child, 'It's so dark--the dark is rising...'

Quote :

Er SMILE moe peliant thar he LIPS. Hen SAT bo i haustpel a garant neth bor o Lasseth he. Han ringant; hen henient han ahsad er KISS bo rívmoe. “Han e brand, Legolas. Idho. Non ú-oiale oneil fuin le n'gadant.”

SMILE lone is soft it spread stiff grass he LIPS. SAT this is on the bed of fenced field and it had vassal young from Lasseth she. It gift-cold; her it understood it with a place KISS lone on soft tree bark. "It he/she is lofty, Legolas. Idho. I am not oiale from gloom third you are n'gadant."

She touched stiff grass to his lips (some form of medicine probably), and sat on the edge of the bed to give him a soft kiss as he began to turn cold. 'You are a mighty warrior/brave one, Legolas.'


/attempt to make sense of the word-salad

*Please note, I know almost nothing about Tolkien's worlds and the languages he built for them, so please don't bite me....

I have to ask - is this an automatic translation or do you speak Sindarish?

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

I have to ask - is this an automatic translation or do you speak Sindarish?

I try to translate Sindarish as a Sindarin-speaking Elf would hear it. At one time, I also spoke Sindarish fluently, but thankfully I'm past that now. I know all of the bad sources pretty well, and I can figure out how certain mistakes were made.

Just wanted to get an idea of how trustworthy the translation was... in that case, this is awful. I'm not entirely sure how you could actually speak a language that badly. He/she hasn't even got his/her verbs in order. Also, who on Earth is the intended audience of this fanfiction? How big is the community of Sindarish-speaking Lord of the Rings fans who want to read badly translated LotR fanfiction? Actually, I wonder if the original writer used an automatic translator.

What the hell did I just read? No, seriously, what was that? It doesn't make sense in any language.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

Just wanted to get an idea of how trustworthy the translation was... in that case, this is awful. I'm not entirely sure how you could actually speak a language that badly. He/she hasn't even got his/her verbs in order. Also, who on Earth is the intended audience of this fanfiction? How big is the community of Sindarish-speaking Lord of the Rings fans who want to read badly translated LotR fanfiction? Actually, I wonder if the original writer used an automatic translator.

It's more for showing off than for being read like literature. Foreign languages are COOL, and you will be COOL if you can use them. A lot of writers fill their fanfics with unnecessary Elvish dialogue and title their stories in Elvish because they want some of that COOL to rub off on their otherwise crappy stories. This fanfic is that concept on crack.

Apparently the original fanfic is a Legomance MPREG, so it needed as much COOL to surround it as possible.

You've done it again, I_Lam_Edhellen. These translations never fail to make me laugh hysterically.

And success! I reviewed, and she posted this:

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This chapter is mostly an author's note (I do not know if it is allowed...), but it explains last chapter. I know this story is ccompleted.

Um, the elvish was a lot fun to write but held as much errors. That is because I gave it not enough time and I have never studied the langauge so much, I have obviosly mixed different sorts of elvish. My grammar is very bad, so translating this much isn't my thing. Not even short phrases (oops ...) becomes right. The linguist dreamingfifi has been kind and corrected me many a time, and she translated the first pharagraph for me.I apologize for all confusion and mistakes I've done (Hey, I'm an amateur!!)

Now she's going through all of her fanfictions and correcting all of the Elvish according to my suggestions. Not all fangirls are fanbrats! Yay!

Wow. It's surprising that she'd actually want to put that much effort in. Bravo, m'dear.

At the same time, wow, her English is terrible.

She went as far as to try to translate an entire chapter into Sindarin; asking her to correct a few sentences is nothing in comparison. She's not even writing in her first language. Apparently she's Swedish.

Ah, okay, I'll try to be a little less hard on the poor dear.

There's still the Legomance MPREG to snark.
Avari Part I :: Ambar en Meleth and Avari Part II :: Lor o Fuin

Actually, she sounds pretty cool from her response. And if she is, and if she manages to get it right - a proper story in proper Sindarin is a thing to anticipate with eagerness. All power to her, writing in TWO non-native languages.

Nice to see an author who's willing to admit their mistakes. Kudos to her for not going all butthurt-fanbrat on you.

While we must praise her for her mature acceptance of criticism - Legomance MPREG? I can only give her so much sympathy.

Legomancer sounds like the most fun rpg class ever!

Sheba wrote:

Legomancer sounds like the most fun rpg class ever!

Magically controlling small, interconnecting blocks? Sounds like fun to me! :face:

[Gives I Lam Edhellen the interwebs for being so goddamn awesome.]

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

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“Lor ... lor um,” hon nír flosant, he garant hennant i bronadui estel o Ambar o fuin. I tithen neth gostant.

"Lor ... lor is evil," him tear whisper-gift, she had eye-gift the hope enduring from World from gloom. The young little was afraid.

The young little's not the only one afraid!

myeerah wrote:

Sheba wrote:

Legomancer sounds like the most fun rpg class ever!

Magically controlling small, interconnecting blocks? Sounds like fun to me! :face:

Just think about it...You'd have:

1. Attack
a. Legos fly at the target at high-speed from all directions (higher "mana" drain/roll/level = more/faster legos)
b. summon a giant man made out of legos
2. Defense- a shield of legos forms between you and the impending hit
3. Flight-Think Magneto escaping from prison in the movie
4. Buff-Bricks surround your fist/weapon, giving it more force
5. De-buff-bricks bind your opponent to decrease speed/force
6. Healing-Nano-Machines

I think I'm going to include a Legomancer in a novel I'm working on.

As for the fic, I have to agree with Fitchsticks--it's great that she's taking criticism well, but the fact that it's a Legolas M-PREG means all the criticism in the world won't make the story's core concept any less awful.