Troper Tales

It's been a while since I've read some of the entries over at troper tales. It seems that nothing has changed at all.

^ I am actullly pulling these out of an archive. Tropers Tales is gone now. TVT finally wised up and booted it.

And now for another bout of unwarrented self-importance and "my life is real life animu":

armor peircing question wrote:

This troper's keeping "Who do you think you are?"/"Who are you?" in the back of his head as one of these. See, very few people are Card Carrying Villains in real life, so by following up on the question one could induce Heel Realization in nearly any potential antagonist. ("Don't you realize you are the villain here?" "Have you thought about the consequences of your actions?" "What gives you the right to ____________?" "Have you ever taken responsibility for ANYTHING?" etc. depending on the individual heel)

I know I solve all my problems by inducing heel realization in my potential antagonists.

Why am I getting a perfect image of my Jr. High in my head when I read this when it does not even mention school at all?

Well, I almost though they were saying "I know you are, but what am I?" at first glance.

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I also owe this place to have encountered the monstrosity that are Something Awful and the likes of it. Being subjected to their judgmental, prejudiced gaze has reinforced my sense of morality and intellectual honesty, and my confidence in my own self-worth and my values. Ever since I was exposed to them, I have been able to weather the most cruel criticism with a kind smile, picking apart the truth from the lies with almost effortless ease, easily turning my aggressor's dishonesties and contradictions against them. I say almost, because I still find verbal aggression tiring, but it certainly doesn't cause me the violent, bones-shaking, throat-knotting distress it used to.

Ha! Who says trolling is all bad? Score one for the SA hambeasts.

Knorg wrote:

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Ha! Who says trolling is all bad? Score one for the SA hambeasts.

Meanwhile...

Edit: Shit, forum ate my post. Screw it not retyping

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the monstrosity that are

A ludicrous sense of self importance does not allow you to ignore subject/verb agreement.

Knorg wrote:

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Ehehehe, the forums are so full of dumb. It is less fish-in-a-barrel than TT was, but it is pretty funny reading some of the crap posts a body would be torn apart for around here.

OK, gonna change it up and post something more current. This is from the "Dethroning Moment of Suck" page on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It is largely bitches about the ponies not being morally perfect and sometimes making mistakes and hurting *gasp* other pony's feelings, or just being selfish, rude, insensitive or in any other way acting like normal young adults. In fucking credable. The entries I find the most crazy though are the one bawwwing about how such-and-such was OBVS put there for bronies and is not appropriate for little girls, when it is pretty fucking apparent that the writer was never a little girl.

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CCPrime: *snipped for boring* this episode, on the other hand, resorted to falling back on a bunch of cheap, crass gags that would not look out of place in an episode of Invader Zim or The Ren & Stimpy Show, not at all like the cute, optimistic series I'd come to love. And that doesn't even cover the ridiculous jumps in logic that showed up later in the episode, like having a bunch of random characters like Mayor Mare and Big Mac just happen to be hanging around the same park as Twilight. And, no, I did not find "friendly Twilight" funny at all; the disturbing behaviour and fucked up facial expressions just made her look like some kind of deranged stalker, and the latter simply increased the aforementioned resemblance to Ren and Stimpy. Overall, I'm not sure if the episode in general was some kind of hamfisted attempt at appealing to the older brony crowd or something, but if it was...I sincerely hope that future ones attempt it in a different way. MLP should stick to its strengths, rather than try to be "edgy" or whatever.

vexusdylan: Took the words right out of my mouth. This show is normally pretty good, but this episode seemed like it was just made for bronies and feels out of place with the rest of the series. I'm not gonna lie, I really thought the show was gonna jump the shark at that point.

Not A Jackal: It's actually worse than that- the episode had to be written over a year before it aired, which means they made it before bronies were a thing. Which means that this episode was still intended for it's target audience of young girls.

Because no little girl ever watched Ren and Stimpy or Invader Zim, amirite???

Srsly, I was watching Ren and Stimpy when I was like 8. I got video evidence of me calling my little brother a "boated sack of protoplasm".

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the whole idea of the pony races originally having very little tolerance for each other. Basically saying, this felt like a heavy racism undertone. In a show targeted towards young kids.

Oh my goodness, telling children that sometimes groups of people hate each other for no good reason! Madness I say!!!

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So Rainbow Dash is allowed to be a jerk to her best friend Pinkie and her good friend Rarity but just because Derpy might have a disability she's exempt?

Reaching much? Also: most people are bigger dicks to their friends that to people they do not know very well. You know your friends limits better and are less likely to really offend them when you give them shit. Normal, well-adjusted people are polite to casual acquaintances.

But of course anyone not in a tropers nakama is an ebul bully and thus the enemy so

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Trickymander: This is why I hate Pinkie Pie so much. As someone who has been seen as a freak before, I can feel for Luna, and the very fact that Pinkie wanted to scare ponies 'cause of the holiday does not help. Pinkie Pie should have at least some notes that she was hurting Luna; she pretty much scared the whole town, causing them to fear Luna. It reminds me of a rumor spreader that spreads rumors about a new kid, causing him to be lonely. And for what, fun? Uhh, I don't think anyone was having fun but her, so shut up Pinkie Pie.

I have not posted the dozens of troper tales where tropers claim to have PTSD because they got picked on by bullies, but trust me that these guys have crazy thin skins.

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What made me a bit upset was the fact that they made a nerd joke in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

Gonna let that one stand on its own.

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This really put FS down on the my pony tier list for me, and the episode ultimately leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

PONY TIER LIST.

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Mihotheneko: Am I the only one who thinks that the dragon's felt like a particularly mean Take That at people who don't like the show? I dunno, watching it, the entire thing just felt like the writer's were going "Here's a group of guys who don't like Ponies. All they do is stupid dares all day. If you like ponies they'll make fun of you and ridicule you."

Yes. Yes, you are the only one. My God.

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FromtheWordsofBR: The worst part of the episode is its Family Unfriendly Aesop: "If you do something really bad, you will be hated by everybody in where you live." Yeah, now that's a great message to send to kids that are worried that their family doesn't appreciate them, now isn't it?

Is it just me or did every children's show ever made have an episode like that?

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Shining Armor 87: I hated Twilight and Shining's conversation near the end. The one that goes:

Twilight Sparkle: Seriously, though. I get why the queen of the Changelings wanted to be with you, but how did you get someone as amazing as Cadance to marry you?
Shining Armor: I told her she wouldn't just be gaining a husband, she'd be getting a pretty great sister, too.

Sweet Celestia, where do I start? First, they already hammered the message "Sisters are great" in our heads with the BBBFF song, so this was pointless. Second, it's full of the implications, whether unfortunate or not, that if you don't have a sister, you will never get married. I'm an only child, so this isn't exactly morale-boosting.

OK wow, end of post. I cannot top that insanity. You need to see a doctor, troper, your brain is broken.

What the fuck is wrong with these people, Ren and Stimpy and Pinkie Pie are both awesome.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

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FromtheWordsofBR: The worst part of the episode is its Family Unfriendly Aesop: "If you do something really bad, you will be hated by everybody in where you live." Yeah, now that's a great message to send to kids that are worried that their family doesn't appreciate them, now isn't it?

Is it just me or did every children's show ever made have an episode like that?

I get the feeling that some bronies don't watch any other shows.

And they probably don't know many little girls either (thank god).

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We then see that the Diamond Dogs made Rarity work in forced labor - great message for a kid's show.

Oh no, the episode's bad guys are doing bad things to a main character? That's going to send a message for sure. Like "bad people are bad".

^ Haha oh shit I forgot about that one.

I do not think you need any context for this:

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In this one Pokémon RP I do, Deoxys stuck his Naughty Tentacles in Elesa.

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Ever since I was exposed to them, I have been able to weather the most cruel criticism with a kind smile, picking apart the truth from the lies with almost effortless ease, easily turning my aggressor's dishonesties and contradictions against them. I say almost, because I still find verbal aggression tiring, but it certainly doesn't cause me the violent, bones-shaking, throat-knotting distress it used to.

Ten bucks it's a privileged shithead who thinks words can't break his bones because he's never experienced actual prejudice.

If not, well, his ego is in for a fatal breaking once he realises there are some people who don't care for his calm logic and smiles.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

^ Haha oh shit I forgot about that one.

I do not think you need any context for this:

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In this one Pokémon RP I do, Deoxys stuck his Naughty Tentacles in Elesa.

Good to know he didn't stuck his innocent tentacles in her.

Pretty Fly for a White Guy Troper Tales:

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This troper (white and British) mistakenly attended a speed dating event that was really a front for matchmaking Chinese couples. A few days later, an abusive message was left on her Facebook from someone calling her a wannabe for her behaviour at the event: trying to use her faltering Mandarin and mentioning relatives in Taiwan.

Wait, so the matchmaking event you attended was a cover for a matchmaking event?

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This troper has no idea what iteration of tropeplay falls in here, but she has a friend from Scotland who is black, but fails horribly at using African-American slang.

Possibly because he is Scottish and not American??

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Think of the white of copy paper, with a heavy dose of cinnamon sprinkles on top, and that's what Pyro Skittle's skin tone looks like. In person, she once decided to crack a VG Cats reference ("Fo' Reelz?" with a very hopeful face,) and was told by a Puerto Rican girl to never say that again. Pyro Skittle then twisted her neck like a bobblehead and bitchslapped the Puerto Rican girl before Pyro told her to never "sez I wad-n't gots 'nuff FLAVER" again. She was too terrified of the gigantic biker chick smacking her across the cheek to do anything but cower. Then, Pyro Skittle hugged her and made it all better. What? She was new at the school. She didn't know any better.

I am not even sure what is happening here.

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Pyro Skittle

OH. MY. GOD.

I know this person.

Seriously. She was a member of the Anti-Shurtugal forums, which I was a member of circa middle school! She was on my friends list, I think.

How old is this post? Like... wat?

She was still a Perky Goth when I knew her. Can't tell if it's comforting or saddening that, besides that, she, apparently, hasn't changed in a decade-plus.

EDIT: because omg that forum was something terrible...

Mr.Doobie wrote:

She was still a Perky Goth when I knew her. Can't tell if it's comforting or saddening that, besides that, she, apparently, hasn't changed in a decade-plus.

Ow. I mean, I was an annoying ~SUGAH HIGH~ brat in middle school too, but... ugh.

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Go on. TRY and mess with me. I'll go into detail for your abysmal excuse of a brain to be able to adequately understand what I'll do if you anger me. There will be lead injections into places that would get sore and limp with such an amount of metal in them

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In other words, HUG ME!! I ARE SQUISHY!!

Haha... wacky.

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I also love webcomics, and currently follow Least I Could Do

Oh, well, that explains it.

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This troper wants to sell his soul for a long-term romantic involvement with an albinistic woman - he doesn't care anymore, even if she turns out to be an Evil Albino...

*This troper knows a female albino. She's Mormon and would probably pretend to trade your soul for a relationship, and then laugh at you and walk off. Maybe she is evil?

** Agreed, but this troper is currently trying to atone for a two-timing incident involving betraying a Gamer Chick with an Older Than They Look ex-prostitute hypocritical Christian fundamentalist. Thanks, but this troper has a second chance with said Gamer Chick now, maybe later, Satan. Plus that's not the kind of ''evil'' I meant...

***Wait, let me get this one straight. You dumped a Gamer Chick??

There is so much wrong with this, and yet it is the last line that gets me. Lol gamer chicks are like ~speshul diamonds~

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Realm Walker wrote:

Does anyone have the entire "A guy broke into our house, so I pulled out my sword" quote, or was that the entire thing?

Hey I know this is way the fuck after the fact, but I managed to find this one.

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This troper was subjected to this, despite his earnest refusal. A guy broke into our house, probably to steal a computer or TV or something, but he didn't realize that I was home, and so I pulled out the sword that's sitting in my closet and threatened him with it. My brother told a guy at school, and it exploded from there. I am now apparently the victor of an epic duel between myself and a nemesis from the great beyond, whatever that means. it's screwed up.

I have no ide what the trope he was responding to was, though.

I think that was it, thanks! It's worse than I remembered!

It was from one of the Crowning Moment of "Awesome" entries, btw.

And now for some for a new record for pathetic from the TV Tropes forums:

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Twas an especially difficult Thai kickboxing class, and me and my crush were the only students. My mind was riddled with endorphins from my exhaustion, and my inner sadomasochist was deliriously euphoric from my crush repeatedly kicking me, whilst covered in sweat.

A thought struck my hormone addled brain, as I watched her stop and take a drink from her water bottle: "Hey! If I could get a drink from that bottle, it would be awesome...".

Thus, in the depths of my inability to think properly (and my shame), I carefully asked to have a drink. She obliged, completely unaware of the thoughts in my twisted head. So I stopped. And I grabbed the water bottle. AND I TOOK A DRINK!

-YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!-

Those were the best ten seconds of my entire life. My instructor, Mr. Boun, saw me taking a swig and said "That isn't your water bottle!", to which I replied "Yeah, I know...".

"~Ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh~", he replied. Naturally, the master was completely aware of the trick I had just pulled, and why I did it. I brushed him off, trying to sound casual, but I figure that changed nothing.

Anyhow:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thank you all, for your time! :3

what I just did isn't creepy, is it...?

OK, it's extremely creepy, but I'm not a dangerous stalker, I SWEAR!

Wait.

What trick did he pull?

Did he roofie the waterbottle?

Well obvs sensei-san would be all wise and knowing enough to instantly recognize the old 'ask your crush for a drink and then get your mouth on her water bottle because INDIRECT KISSING" gambit.

Backstory: the poster is 18 and his crush is a 30-year-old x2 divorcee with kids.

Urrrrgh

there are chaps in my jujutsu class who are 18/19 and I'm 31 and I can't even picture being with them we're at such different life stages and if one of them started crushing on me (lol like that would ever happen) it would be AWK-WARD

how do you spar (or worse grapple) with a teenage boy who's crushing on you goddamn

Cyberwulf wrote:

how do you spar with (or worse grapple) with a teenage boy who's crushing on you goddamn

A teenage boy who is crushing on you and gets off on being beat the fuck up.

Reepy wrote:

Well obvs sensei-san would be all wise and knowing enough to instantly recognize the old 'ask your crush for a drink and then get your mouth on her water bottle because INDIRECT KISSING" gambit.

. . .

You hold the water bottle inches away from your mouth and squirt the liquid into your mouth. It's a very refreshing money shot. YOU DON'T SLOBBER ALL OVER THE NOZZLE GOD DAMN

That's how neckbeard spreads.

Cyberwulf wrote:

AWK-WARD

I also saw that episode last night.

^ You mean like this, Mikey?

possibly the most pathetic man on earth wrote:

Ashamedly, this troper used this trope once. It was the middle of summer, the year before I entered 9th grade (I think). Anyway, me and a friend were hanging with my crush and her friend. It was really hot and she "fountained" a water bottle (which is when you hold it up so that the water out like a waterfall into your mouth, but never actually touches your lips). After that, she gave it to me and I immediately drank from it in hopes that her lips had touched it even a little bit, whether accidentally or on purpose. Now, almost 2 years later, I still have the water bottle on a shelf above my bed.

ETA: Also this holy fuck

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This troper has a pretty messed up tale. At first he had very little interest in talking to girls or having anything to do with them, even at the age of 18, until an accidental and semi-disturbing incident where he became someone's online girlfriend. Eventually the persona of the "girl" started developing into his own dream girl, until the point where he fell in love with what could only be considered an imaginary friend / alter-ego hybrid. Long story short, this incident finally started an interest in the opposite sex to develop.

Here is a little bit of what the unholy fuck from Wild Mass Guessing, a portion of TVT that still exists and I have no idea why.

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The Todd was sexually abused by both his father/uncle/brother and his mother/aunt/sister

It would explain why he seems gay sometimes (because he was abused by a male family member) and straight the rest of the times (because he was also abused by a female family member).

That is how sexual abuse works, right?